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skgway · 4 years

Text

1829 Jan., Tues. 6

5 3/4

10 1/4

At my desk at 7 20/60, having been 1/4 hour further and finally preparing for M– [Mariana]

“Thank you, Sibbella,” (letter wrote on Sunday) for your 1st letter this year (which I received this morning) and for your so kindly wishing me to be happier every succeeding year, than the last – Perhaps my best hope is, that the circumstances, ‘that caused you unspeakable misery have been those that have led you step by step to the prospect’ of all the good at present in your view –

For the last 8 or 9 years of my life, I have had nothing more sincerely at heart, than your happiness – This gained, much is done towards my own – Not to be easily reconciled to any plan that really and securely promotes your welfare, would argue a degree of selfishness of which I should be ashamed – While your scheme is merely in theory, we may possibly differ in opinion; – But the moment I see it put in practice, and realizing your hopes rather than my fears, I shall be reconciled, and satisfied –

The reasonable persuasion that we are ‘spending a life of usefulness,’ will do much to make us contented in any case – To a mind like yours, is it not half of what is requisite to make you happy? I do not attempt to guess at what you may possibly allude to – You will tell me when we meet; and I shall endeavor to be patient” –

Account of her health better than I should dared to expect – No doubt Mr. Long will on every account do his best –

“I only wish, there was not such a perpetual prolongation of the time required. But the curtain seems a little drawn aside by the following sentence, ‘he shakes his head, and says, you never will see Paris’ – I cannot ‘calculate his influence – If it be paramount, I hope it is for good”

. . . . think the climate of Paris mistaken – My aunt after 2 1/2 years residence cured of a host of complaints that hourly threatened her life in England –

“I shall not be in town till next month (I have delayed my return, and shall continue to delay it, by every possible excuse, as long as I can), and, by the time you reached your journey’s end, the fine weather would be awaiting us – But may you decide according to the wishes, and advice of those best able to advise; and heaven prosper the event!

I shall be delighted to have you with me, disappointed to leave you behind, but perfectly reconciled, and perfectly satisfied to be thus disappointed, if it be for your good – What gives me greatest pleasure, is your occasionally having your uncle with you – I do not quite understand your correspondence being promised for you by another, without your leave; but I am persuaded, it will give so much pleasure to your correspondent. ‘Tis possible, your time might not be better employed –

‘I have many surprising things to tell you’ – Would that you had that one thing to tell me which occurs to me at this moment! Would that your life of usefulness were on behalf of that one for whom I am interested on your account! I am more than half persuaded, you do not yet know me well enough to be aware how deeply I am anxious for all events to work together for your good –

‘Yes! I do guess what passed in your mind, but think not of it’ – I will endeavor to take your advice, but do not promise more – I trust, however, that these pages will not leave upon your mind any impression which is not as cheerful, as you yourself would have it –

No! No! Sibbella, it shall not be I who throw one momentary shade across the brightness of your prospect, be that prospect what it may – But may its brightness be no fictitious glare that, like the ignis fatuus, lures but to deceive! If your plan be good and true, God speed!

Yet why, Sibbella, this sentence? ‘I feel assured you will not like this plan, but I may in time reconcile you to it’ – I am more anxious about you, than you think; and it will be a comfort to me to see you” –

Glad she approves my plan of being in the same house with her – Shall not care 2d [pence] about having a fire in my bedroom –

“Tell me, if you think it ‘no joke’ to be kept 1 month longer under Mr. Long’s care, what do you think it to be ket 3 months longer, with the prospect of still delay upon delay? Is it Mr. Long’s opinion, that you can live entirely in London, or that the climate of Mull, or Edinburgh, or any part of Great Britain where you can conveniently settle, is better than that of Paris?

It grieves me to hear of your coughing so much ...... Long may you have ‘the thanks and blessings of all sides!’ But what is love that thus amuses some, bewilders most, and recompenses few? How often ‘tis an idle dream, an empty sound, a charm that worse than lulls to sleep! In such a case, how difficult to give advice, how difficult to take it!

But you will think the air of Shibden makes me prosey – Perhaps you may think right – Or these may be some lurking ever that Mr. Long’s infallible should remove – I hope to see you in about a month – May your health be better and your plan be good, and may this year, and every succeeding year be happier than the last!”

Mention expecting M– [Mariana] a today for a week or 10 days – If I send a box or 2 of books has Miss McL– [MacLean] room for them? Mention the account of my aunt and her getting about –

“It will be a sad disappointment to her, if you do not return with me – But may you do what is best! My own opinions shall never be selfishly opposed to yours, on any subject – I never think of you but to wish your happiness, and am always, Sibbella, very faithfully and affectionately yours A[nne] L[ister]”

At 8 25/60 sent off by Jno [John] my letter (vide yesterday and Sunday) to “Madame Madame Barlow, Rue des Champs Elysees, No [number] 6, Paris” and my letter as above to “Miss Maclean of Coll, 13 Nottingham Terrace, New Road, London” –

Vide Miss McL– [MacLean]’s letter received on Sunday

“Your last has left a deep impression on my mind almost of sadness – You said nothing I can assure you in your 2nd last that caused the slightest irritation of feeling – You know I have long, long considered myself consumptive – And do you suppose, I could feel any vexation that others should know it . . . . . . Then banish the thought from your mind, – And do not say I write on ‘relentless’ –

Yes! I do guess what passed in your mind, but think not of it – I have many surprising things to tell you when we meet – Most singular have the circumstances of the last year of my life been, and perhaps the very events that caused me unspeakable misery have been those that have led me step by step to the prospect of spending a life (if I live) of usefulness –

Not less, than in former years tho’ far different – But is still only in imagination I feel assured you will not like this plan, but I may in time reconcile you to it – If ever I put it in practice, which does not altogether depend on me” –

Her cough bad – Got cold from the hot rooms of her friends, and could not refuse the pressing invitations – Always gets cold at Lady Stuart’s – Lady S– [Stuart] “is I may almost say, an inveterate enemy to Mr. Long” yet said on seeing her last “well, you really are looking much better” –

Thought her spirits so good she must be “feigning”

“but I really feel so free from oppression in my chest, and that heavy feeling in my side quite gone, it has given me an indescribable cheering feel” –

All her friends raise objections to her going before for

“3 months yet, they say it will be doing both myself and Mr. Long injustice at such a season to go. He shakes his head, and says, ‘you never will see Paris’ – After a little discussion he says, ‘Well, in 3 months you may go’” –

Rides out with him every day in his open carriage – He says it is absolutely necessary for her health, and she receives much benefit from it –

“The most affectionate brother could not be more careful of me. I am engaged in a love affair. All parties have put the concern into my hands which is rather a bother, tho sometimes amuses me most exceedingly. I have as yet the thanks and blessings of all sides, but how it will end it is yet impossible for me to say –

Assure yourself I am going on well, but slowly . . . . I wrote to Miss Hudson a few days ago – Mr. Long without my leave made a promise that I should”

Vide my aunt’s letter received on Sunday, received my letter and enclosure on the 29th ultimo – Quite well – Had been to call on Mrs. B– [Barlow] “and walked up all except the last flight of steps to her apartment” and on the 28th returned “accompanied by my kind friend Mrs. B– [Barlow] I went to the ambassador’s chapel, and received the sacrament” –

Thinks I shall not be back before February – And that M– [Mariana] has “done well to make up the breach between her parent and friend, it will be a satisfaction to herself” – Sure of liking Miss McL– [MacLean]

“I only wish any feelings of partiality she may possibly have for myself, may not be entirely on your account – As to how long, or how short a time we may remain here, circumstances must determine – I shall, I hope, never wish to do anything, that may not be advisable at the time – another year or 2, is a long time to look forward” ..... –

Wrote all the above of today, and had just done at 9 10/60 – Breakfast at 9 20/60 in 20 minutes – Went out at 10 – Met Throp in the road near the entrance gate) returning from planting 4 single trees (elms) in Charles H– [Howarth]’s field opposite to Pump and 2 ditto (beeches) in Jno [John O– [Oates] field opposite Dove house –

Went with him then planted 2 single sycamores in the Allen Car, and then 4 beeches at the top of the wheat or wood field behind the barn – Then about 11 3/4 set off to H–x [Halifax] to meet M– [Mariana] stopt by the way and paid for my 2 pair shoes at Booth’s – Ordered the trespass act then called at Whitleys, Mr. Briggs’s office – Not in – Would send John –

Then went to Mr. Parker’s office – Should like to know how soon the church money could be paid – would be a great convenience to have it by the 10th instant – This could not be Mr. P– [Parker] thought but might get it soon – Would lend me ￡700 (had it in the bank) till I got paid the church money – Much obliged – Might perhaps avail myself of the offer having a considerable sum to pay –

Surprised to hear the coal bought of Wilkinson – The agreement signed on Friday by Holt – Brought it back with me – Hurried off to the Pineapple – There at 12 1/2 by the church – The mail should have arrived at 12 20/60 – Did not arrive till 12 40/60 – The man at Bradford would not have the horses sharpened and they had 8 or 9 men to help them up one or 2 of the hills –

M– [Mariana] arrived – Walked home – She had been up all last night and had nothing to eat this morning – Had cold mutton and a glass of wine and went out with me a little before 2 – Along the walk in the fields M– [Mariana] planted 3 beeches near the brook in Lower brook Ing opposite Wellroyde.

Then went to Wellroyde brow wood where the wallers are preparing for planting a quickwood fence, then got it the new Northowram road sauntered past upper brea, then returned by Goldey and Benjamin’s B– [Bottomley?]’s and came in at 4 40/60 –

Sat talking – Dressed – Dinner at 6 20/60 – My father and Marian came between 7 & 8 – Came upstairs at 8 20/60 – Looked over the coal agreement – To pay ￡40 per dayswork ￡100 down on excecuting the purchase 2 February next – Then looked at the list of proposed rents brought by Jno [John] from Mr. Briggs – Leaving out the advice on Marsh, upper place, and nearly the whole advice on Lower place, should gain by Mr. B– [Briggs]’s valuation – seventy six pounds a year.

Went down to coffee at 9 – M– [Mariana] and I came up again at 9 1/4 – Wrote the last 7 lines – The ground white this morning but more with frost (tho’ not severe) then snow – Very fine winter’s day –

𝜋 [Pi - Mariana] very fond of me I am persuaded. Sitting after dinner explained why Steph thinks of leaving York. A profound secret even to the family. No field for his talenn [talent] o[r] variety of practice. The rich pay ill and the poor cannot afford to pay and he lives at great expense –

Major and Mrs. Bailey parted. He could live with her no longer and left her in Paris recently – She seems almost even now an abandoned, headstrong criminal woman – He to allow her ￡210 per annum –

Told M– [Mariana] I had no fire at night – Got up between 5 & 6, and lighted my fire then – Began on this plan with M– [Mariana]. She looks pale and thin – Rest will do her good –

#anne lister #anne lister code breaker #mariana lawton #Shibden Hall 1829 #Sibella MacLean

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theladypirate · 7 years

Note

2-30 even for Tu'an and 1-29 odd for Ida please :D

Tu'an. Oh Tu'an. My disaster daughter. My awful child. I love her so much she’s a BLAST to play, barbarian for life, yo

2. How good are they at tongue twisters?Awful. But she commits to the awful, like she’ll mess up and then make it worse on purpose. If she can somehow wrangle it into a dick joke she will.

4. Are they formally trained or have they gone through a more organic learning experience for their skillset?

Uhhh…. well… organic is… one way of putting it. She’s a barbarian bc of Vrig, who took a long look at the traumatized child she had saved and another at the long and dangerous road back to Grevenia and made the decision to teach Tu'an how to protect herself. Except Vrig didn’t know how to half-ass anything so Tu'an got the full barbarian training.

6. What’s their theme song?

Good Girls by Elle King

8. Paper or plastic?

Tu'an stares the clerk dead in the eye as she shoves an entire loaf of bread into her pocket and dumps 50ft of rope, 12 caltrops, and 2 entire hams into her pack. The party looks on in resigned dismay.

10. What’s their best stat?

Strength and Constitution are tied at 20. She can (and will) do pushups for days.

12. What’s their favorite beverage?

Alcohol. But only interesting alcohol. Beer is overdone and wine is just rotten grapes. Hard liquor mixed with fun flavors.

14. Most heroic thing they have ever done?

Well she and the party stopped a crazy orc demigod from summoning a dracolich and trying to destroy civilization so that was pretty good.

16. Are they a hero or a supporting protagonist

Tu'an has hero tendencies, she’s not the kind of person who can see something bad happen and just let it go, but also she’s got some weird hang ups about Getting Involved, which tends to manifest with her getting beligerent and forcing a confrontation, bc then the other party was the one who attacked first and she can tell herself she didn’t really do anything.

18. Would they rather fight a hundred duck-sized horses, or one horse-sized duck?

Tu'an wants to fight all of those things.

20. Are they religious? If so, what god or gods do they serve?

She doesn’t care about religious exclamations that happen outside the bedroom.

22. Most amazing monster they have ever killed or helped kill?

A half- risen dracolich, and the sort-of god who was trying to raise it. Personally she thought he was less amazing and more… squishy, than anything. Made a nice satisfying wet crunch when she smashed them.

24. Do they have any interesting skills?

Tu'an: *flexes, sleeveless* Everyone around her: *impressed and mildly terrified*

26. Expansion of civilization or the preservation of nature?

Nature makes the stuff that civilization turns into food/alcohol so… ummm… yes?

28. What do they do between quests?

Go looking for trouble, usually finds it.

30. Would they smooch a ghost?

Is the ghost hot? Then yes. Yes she would.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ira (lol I just realized I mispelled that in the tags cool) is a 10-12 year old half-elven boy whom the party rescued (along with Edna, a very tiny halfling girl he was protecting) from Penny Pincher, the gnomeish ringleader of a band of slavers who specifically targeted children.

1. How many dead parents do they have?

He grew up on the street as far as he knows he’s got no parents at all. Did they die? Did they abandon him? Was he stolen? He doesn’t know.

3. Biggest regret?

At this point in his life he regrets believing Penny when she told him she had a nice warm place for him and Edna to sleep. That’s not really his fault tho, she has a staff that basically let’s her cast charm person at will. He was under magical influence when he followed her into her hideout.

5. If they could hang out with one famous person in 18th century American History, who would they want to hang out with?

Ira would absolutely not want to hang out with famous people from any century, he’s super not interested in history. You can’t eat history.

7. What fictional character are they most like? Was this an intentional or accidental influence?

As far as I know he’s not really like any specific character he’s an npc the party adopted. Like… he’s got tons of empathy but it’s all tempered by anger and a desperate helplessness that feeds that anger so maybe young Anakin Skywalker?

9. What’s their dump stat?

He’s a baby his dump stat is all of them. J/k, he’s actually a pretty good pickpocket, if nothing changes he’s probably gonna end up a rogue when he’s older. His dump stat is wisdom.

11. What is their favorite anime?

If Ira knew what anime was it’d probably be like… Naruto bc ninjas are cool, or Sailor Moon bc it’s very pretty.

13. If they can use magic, what’s their favorite spell?

Fun fact: he ~could~ use magic if properly trained, but he’s got something of an… understandable aversion to it, thanks to a certain gnome sorceress.

15. Most despicable thing they have ever done?

In his opinion he got Edna caught up in all this misery with him bc he stupidly believed Penny.

17. What’s their favorite food?

Spaghetti with meatballs and garlic bread. There was a restaurant in his hometown that would feed the street kids once a week, and they did a lot of noodle dishes.

19. They have to go live on a deserted island. They can take one thing and one person. What do they take?

His knee-jerk reaction is to take Edna bc how can he keep her safe if they’re seperated? But then he’d feel guilty bc she’d be LESS safe on a deserted island (but also she’s like barely 5yrs old if he left her behind she’d have no one to look after her). He’d take a knife. They’re mulit-purpose and useful.

21. How did they become an adventurer?

Teeeeeeeechnically he’s not an adventurer he’s an orphan (but not for much longer if Pi has his say). If he and Edna stay with the party (bc he won’t stay if Edna doesn’t, she’s his sister as far as he is concerned) then he might actually end up as one, bc Hazel will def see his potential and teach him all kinds of neat (read: illegal) tricks and tips.

23. Thoughts on death?

Avoid it at all costs.

25. Favorite animal?

He’s partial to birds and kind of wants to meet a dragon, bc he’s read about them and they just seem neat.

27. They’re at a tavern. They bump into a big burly angry drunk with a combative attitude. What happens?

He kicks them in the shin and runs, at which point the party would swoop in and whisk him off bc what are you even doing in a tavern, Ira, it’s not a good place for kids, are you okay, how did you even get here it’s like, miles from the house, Cathy worried herself into a tizzy when she saw you were gone!

29. Biggest positive and negative influences on their life and development?

Negative: orphaned homeless child captured by slavers and forced to work for them under horrific conditions while slowly developing a healthy dose of survivors guilt.

Positive: has been more or less adopted along with Edna by a group of eccentric well-off adventurers who will absolutely murder someone to keep them both safe.

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