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animes-trash · 2 years

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Lawless’s growth

Ah, here am I, back into Greed Pair hell. Welp.

So, in this current arc, Strike has given us some good Lawless content, and parallels. After I was utterly destroyed by chapter 117 - 118, i decided to get a bit deeper into Lawless’s growth.

First of all, let’s acknowledge the trust that Licht and Lawless now have in each other. Even before getting into the fight with Jeje, we can see that Hyde is not the same as before with one big parallel (that some people already talked about on this site).

The first picture is from chapter 27.5, the second if from 106. The pose is obviously the same, to parallel just how much Lawless has changed between those two moments, In the first panel, he is rambling about how human lives are useless and how everyone dies in the end anyway (fucking emo).

But in the second panel, he is actively searching for Nicco, World End’s eve. In this translation, Hyde thinks “I already know what it means to find that one person*. It’s good but quite vague, whereas the official french traduction is slightly different, and I love it. Translated it says “I know what it’s like to finally find a good eve... that we don’t want to leave.”. This says so much about how Lawless has changed. His bond with Licht has become so strong with time, it’s not even that he tolerates him or something, he wants to stay with him. Knowing where he comes from, that’s a huge step.

Now, getting to the fight. (Or you can read this post where I ramble about how Licht jumped of a window).

So. Jeje unexpectedly (to Lawless, at least) hurts Licht’s hand. Beforehand, Hyde said that he’d be the one to get close to Jeje because he can survive bullets and all, to protect Licht. Why would Jeje get interested in the human anyway ? The real fight is between Servamps. Or so he thinks. And I find this panel very important.

“You’re implying that Licht is my weakness ?!” He thinks this as if it made no sense. But this is absolutely right. I don’t know if Jeje thought this far, but he knows about Lawless’s past and his story about Ophelia. He knows it’s a trigger for him, so in a bitchy way, he attacked Licht.

And boy does it work. That grin that Hyde has ? It’s his nervousness acting up. We’ve seen his laughter fits before when the situation got out of hand to him. He then straight up fights Jeje, and he is angry.

But as soon as Jeje’s guns point toward Licht ? He just loses it and completely panics.

I’ve thought about it for hours, and that’s the only way I can interpret what happened afterwards. Utter panic. That “don’t mess with me !” line ? That’s just his anxiety showing up as anger. Also, the not on my watch panel, doesn’t it remind you of another chapter, way back ?

Strike, those parallels are going to kill. (Sorry. I’m sobbing as well, seeing this picture.)

I don’t know if we can talk about PTSD for immortal vampires, but if we can, damn does Lawless have it. What happened with Ophelia traumatized him hard for centuries. He’s starting to heal, but some wounds can’t be fully closed. Especially with Licht getting shot.

(Lot of pain coming)

As soon as Hyde tries to put Jeje’s gun away, his arm fail him, and he starts to- what, melt ? I had a big wtf is happening moment reading this chapter. I first thought that he was starting to feel the consequences of getting attacked by Tsubaki, like Lily. But then I realized that it isn’t his body failing him, it’s his mind. I don’t know if we can talk of a panic attack, but it sure looks like one. And in a way, I think we can say that it’s because of Tsubaki.

Remember, what mostly changed about Hyde is that he’s really emotional now. In the C3 arc, when we discover it, it’s mostly put as a joke. Haha he cried a lot now. But for someone with as much emotional baggage like him, it’s truly dangerous. Like right now, because his fears and trauma are getting the better of him and make him unable to fight- to protect Licht.

And he’s not only melting, he’s crying. Panic attack, hello. Again, I’m saying, look at how traumatized he is ! “I failed to protect someone again. I always fail”. (Don’t mind me wetting my keyboard as I’m sobbing). Also, that pose on the ground ? He’s losing it.

I still wonder about Lilac’s panel. Is it just for the panic parallel, or is Lawless saying that he regrets killing all of Tsubaki’s subclasses ? The way he sounds, it’s like he thinks he deserves it. We’re back on the theme of his growth. Before, he never would have put his actions in question.

Anyway, he’s starting to melt into his “demon” form again. (Still wondering how the Count decided to merge Hyde with this). If we remember, he’s transforming into some useless blob. Again, I don’t know if Jeje thought this far, but it almost worked. If he totally went back into the blob, he would have been unable to fight.

But thank the gods, Licht is there for him. “Hyde, get a grip, you idiot”. It’s so them. Lawless is stuck in his panic of Licht dying, but even if he got shot, it’s only his arm. It’s not a vital point at all. Licht isn’t in any danger. (Well, medically yes, but it is a manga and he’s a main character). My only fear is that Licht is a pianist, and he needs his arm to work. (Once again, it’s a manga. If Licht has troubles playing the piano afterwards, it’ll only be because Strike choses it. Also, look at Mahiru’s arm. Not a single sequel. So yeah, author’s choice. (THINK OF THE ANGST THOUGH. FANFIC INCOMING)).

Anyhow, the scene cuts there to the rest of the fight. It could be the end, but we learn more in the raws of chapter 120.

(No ads for me. Sniff.)

That’s truly after I saw these panels that I was sure that Lawless’s condition wasn’t him getting affected by something exterior. As soon as he gets his mind together, he’s good to go. I quickly used google translate, so basically what World End says is “Lawless ! What you said was right. As expected of Big Brother. If you care for you master, protect him properly. It’s a little rough”.

In this scene, Nicco survived a gunshot to the gut after shenanigans in World End’s core (or whatever). Point is, he’s alive. That obviously cheers up Hyde who can think properly again (and he probably understood that Licht’s not in mortal danger by now). As soon as he’s calm, his body gets right again.

To conclude, Lawless of Greed is a character who is really deep, more than we can think. He’s gone such a long way since the first time we saw him in volume five. A lot of characters went through a lot, but him especially. Also because he was among the first to have a big character arc (second to Kuro) a long time ago, we get to see him grow a lot, and I feel like Strike is really showing it at this point. Hopefully, we’ll get a bit more of him dealing with his feelings toward his past and toward Licht. Maybe a bit from when he was human too, but maybe I’m asking for too much.

Gee you guys are still there ? Damn.

Well, see ya <3

#servamp #lawless of greed #lawlicht #licht jekylland todoroki #servamp hyde #servamp 118 #servamp 117 #servamp 120

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fishy-xp · 2 years

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KinnPorsche Ep 8 Brain Rot

(ghosts and love and trying to ignore the honkee)

Porsche and his fear of ghosts - I don't know if they really just threw that in there for some heeheehaha comedy but I will take the opportunity to superimpose my thougts and call it analysis. I have zero clue about Thai culture and their beliefs in the supernatural so this rambling comes from a secular perspective but I would definitely love to know more about Thai beliefs and relationships with ghosts. But my canon, if you can call it that, is that people who see the underbelly of the world, mafias, murderers etc etc are more inclined to be scared of ghosts because at this point they aren't scared of humans anymore. They know just what humanity is capable of, all the horrible little things about us so it no longer scares them unlike a regular person who would definitely be terrified of their closest serial killer. But death for these types of people is always knocking at the door so at this point he's just an unwanted salesperson. But on the otherhand, ghosts and the supernatural, it provides a sense of uncertainty and the unknown. A human, no matter how bad, is still limited by their mortality. They will die if a bullet is put in them, Porsche knows this. But a ghost? How tf does one even begin to fight off the ghost of your boyfriend's ex? Is it even possible? So yeah, why wouldn't he be scared of something he knows a bullet won't stop.

I would defend Ken some more, but right now he only needs protecting from KinnPorsche's unending hornkeeness

KINN TAKING SNEAKY BITES WHILST PORSCHE SCOLDS HIM BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO TAKE A PHOTO IS SO GNTIGJVSKRANFMEDWRNTE, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME

The shift in Kinn in this episode may seem out of character for big bad mafia but for me, someone who loves you will bring out the part of you you could never be in your day to day life. Throughout life, you become this mold of a person that is incredibly hard to change, the roles you fall into seem so natural and you find yourself unconscionously giving and giving to this expectation of yourself. But when you're in love, suddenly, those roles are reversed. Someone else makes the decisions for once, that person draws out the spontaneity to your timetabled-to-the-hour perfectionist. The other person throws a complete hammer in the works and at first, it's anxiety-inducing to be taken out of your comfort zone before you realise it's just the fact you've never been on the receiving end until now. In this ep, Kinn is taken out of his element, put in sheep's clothing and he realises how much of the pretty green meadow he hasn't seen because it's absolutely beautiful. Porsche wanted a beautiful dinner by the river, but Kinn has spent his life in excess, opulence and beauty. But you know what he hasn't done? Sat on the ground next to a fountain and eaten fishballs off a stick. You can look at one thing every single day and the beauty may fade, you bring someone who has never seen this thing before in their life and you will see the stars in their eyes expanding. This is what Porsche does for Kinn. This is why Kinn seems so completely enamoured and happy by the entire day. AND IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES.

I wonder if Kim is like an asshole of endearment? I remember in one earlier episode he said to Big 'why are you still here?' and I just remember thinking WOW WHAT A DICKHEAD WHY HE WANNA CATCH THESE HANDS. But then this time, his very thinly veiled 'joke' about Porsche being his dad's secret child makes me wonder if he's actually friendly with Big but in the insult your friends type of way.

Okay I really can't remember anything else from this episode other than soft KP (like the bread) and then very very hard KP (like Kinn's Magnum pistol lmfao, send help)

Sidenote, I was also one of the people eagerly awaiting some VegasPete and I'm absolutely feral because I was convinced we would have a Killing Stalking moment of Vegas of giving Pete some severe blunt force trauma to the head as the final cliffhanger scene. So now I've decided absolutely not to listen to KP Tumblr because the way y'all got my hopes up SHSHSHSHHS

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #kinnporsche ep8 #kinnporsche meta #kinnporsche brain rot #kinn theerapanyakul #kinnporsche la forte #i miss my boy macau #i bet yall thought i was gonna say vegas #and you right #i miss my red flag as well #kinnporsche brainrot

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dulcesiabits · 2 years

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your 'twst boys reacts to you sick' are so cute !! but also, get well soonnnn hopefully you'll be feeling better in no time ^^ (or else ruggie will REALLY have to spend all day making sure you aren't overexerting yourself...not that ruggie's presence is ever a bad thing dhdjfjfj)

HI TRAU!!!! Thank you for enjoying my half asleep rambles and for the well wishes <3

But. You know. The idea of being taken care of by Ruggie for a whole day is sorta tempting…. I know he would do his best to make me comfy and would make the best soups for me to eat…

#liya answers

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gummysharksorbet · 2 years

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*BURSTS INTO YOUR ASK BOX* HI. i saw your rt of my enstars ramblings a few days ago and i wanted to send some mORe rambles for no reason.

and !!!!! yes twst to enstars pipeline is real sjfkdsfk sometimes twst gameplay gets a bit mundane for me so i just. go play enstars. bc rhythm games go brrr. but also breaks my fingers. rip trau's fingers 2022.

and honestly tho, enstars is so fun and it has a lot of good music in it, which is the main reason i stuck with the game sjdfskf i think for rhythm games it's important you like the songs that they have in-game or else it'll just be Payne and Suffering.

if you do decide to download n play it, hmu ! i will friend you in-game and we can be buds hehe (though i'm not sure what function being friends has other than being. friends in-game but it's ok !! it's the thought that counts)

and lastly, i hope you're doing well woo !! make sure to drink lots of water bc. summertime and dehydration is icky. and yup, have a good day / night :DD

(Sorry this took a second to answer i need to fix my tumblr notifs i guess)

WELCOME TO THE ASK BOX!!! Glad to have you here!! always happy to see ramblings :]

Considering Twst has a semi repetitive gameplay loop, going between Twst and enstars is gonna be fun :] cant wait to break my fingers (again. i broke a finger on my left hand trying to do a handstand once-) playing it <3 it will be worth it though it looks like a lot of fun

Rhythm games with good music are superior! the pain and suffering will be worth it for the good music and characters. Also im pre-registered for its en release so!! i will let you know soon!

its funny cause literally the only character i know from enstars is Tsumugi Aoba because a friend in my discord server literally posted an edit they made of him last night so hahsjahfkabfj but yeah ive always liked games with artstyles and characters like this!! im excited hehe

#🍓Sawyer responses #TRAUUUUUUUUUUUU #My friendo! welcome to the askbox hehe #:]

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welcometogrouchland · 2 years

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There is slowly but surely meta brewing in my mind about fandom tendency to lump Melanie and Georgie in w/ Daisy and Basira re: response to Jon and his actions when the context is different, but I'm waiting until scrutiny and maybe a bit onward to make sure I'm not making things up...

#ramblings of a lunatic #tma relisten #look i just.#i understand melanie and georgie aren't always understanding of jon-#-(a thing i see as understandable given the knowledge and experiences of these characters but i understand is-#-not fun for many fans to listen to)#but i keep seeing that fuckin post of the meme that's like. oh ''the archives staff and Georgie'' isolate jon so of course he's eating trau #*trauma #which. actually i dislike the grouping of those characters #because the context of like. statements as an addiction metaphor #and that never really being understood by the cast #is very different in the context of georgie and melanie and Ordinary People vs daisy and basira as Cops #because one entails unfortunate ignorance and the other entails abuse of powet and negligence #and the fact is that both of these are shifted by the context of the statements hurting people #and the series extended question of ''what counts as an ''acceptable target''?''#(a question daisy and basira haven't delt with yet (daisy never does) BUT MELANIE HAS)#like I said I'm Waiting to get some extra relisten context but I'm very geared up to make something out of this hunch #all ladel welcometogrouchland knows is jonpost and defend wtgfs #and this might just end up with both of those babeyy

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flippingpancake · 3 years

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i follow one (1) star wars blog and now tumblr tumblr keeps recommending me sw blogs

#i mean im not complaining that much but most of them are clone centric #i love them but im more of a jedi order slash family kind of guy #look i have parental issues and religious trau #ma you cant expect me to *not* latch on to them #but clones r aight ig #i haven't thought abt sw in so long #i wonder if any of the bookmarked fics i have had updated #ramblings of a long forgotten god #i pick up a hyperfixation n drop it the next time i see something else thats vaguely shiny

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relax-and-read-on · 2 years

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Some rambling idea idea about Chaos, narrative theme and mental health for the Traitor Primarch.

I can't sleep and I'm horizontal again, so, why not attempt to get philosophical before the painkiller kick in.

Disclaimer: while I work in healthcare and mental health, I am not a psychologist nor a psychiatrist. I may get things wrong, or say thing you perceive as wrong. It is mostly based on my experience with people suffering with those problems. Mental health is complicated, and this is for entertainment only.

I love thinking about narrative theme. About what an author is trying to express with the story, implicitly. I think it offer new perspective on a text, and in general is a fun exercise. Does it mean sometime some cheap fun get overanalyze? Yes. Is that a bad thing? Not at all! Imo, there is literary value even in the cheapest story, and they still deserve some love. That said, the Horus Heresy is especially interesting, because it's basically 9 "good" character having an enormous "fall from grace", be it more or less well written. Here is my theory:

Chaos, and how it affect the primarch, is about mental health, and how we society react to it.

To prove my point, let's go at it, primarch by primarch:

Horus and Psychosis

Let's start with my weirdest take: Horus. I think that there is something to be said about a man who, basically, go to sleep one day, and woke up as "someone else", and how everyone seem to mourn the man he was. While some are in disbelief of his actions and his heel face turn, from what I remember, very few, if anyone, actually ask "hey so, why is Horus turning now?" His story take another color when you start thinking of how chaos started to directly affected him: strange delusion and believe systhem, paranoia, literal freaking voice in his head...

Does that not remind you of the classic image of a "schyzo" in media? Of a raving madman attacking others for no reasons or logic? It's especially flagrant, imo, since he had a complete 180, personality wise. Schizophrenia, and a few other similar mental illness, often appear well into adulthood, and is seen as a tragedy by the people around the sufferer. We, as a society, often demonize those who suffer from it, and do not offer appropriate help. No one tried to offer support or "heal" horus, they all just went either with or against him.

Fulgrim and Addiction

That one is so very clear, and yet has some very ugly implication. First, we have to sit down and agree on somethings: Fulgrim is queer coded. He may not explicitly be queer in canon, but for all intent and purpose, he was written as a queer character. He also happen to fall to slaanesh, and no matter what you say about them being the God of desires and sensations... A lot of it is associated to sex. The perpetual quest of it's follower for more sensation, for the next high, is literal textbook addiction.

Almost everyone has some sort of low level addiction, and yet, we collectively hate on the people who loose control of their life to their addictions. Not only that, but we as a society are especially harsh on the queer people who suffer from it- it's either validation that the queer are "sinful", or a bad exemple who give a poor image of the community. Like everyone else, Fulgrim lacked support, and now he's so deep in his addiction, he just... Cannot back down. Because it would imply that everything he did before was wrong, and he cannot live that.

Lorgar and Trauma Response

When people talk the primarch that had it "worst", they usually point at Angron, Konrad or Morty, for good reason. Very few seem to remember that Lorgar also had a horrific childhood. I will argue that, in his case, it's maybe even more vicious, because he does not see it as abuse himself. He *love* Kor Pharoe as his father, even if the mf is in competition for "worst dad" with Big E. Not only that, but his abuser is STILL around, because dying is apparently only reserved to good parents.

So, he's in a constant state of re-trauma, and adopted what is often seen as the most "controversial" trauma response (if we go with the classic quatuor of Flight Fight Freeze and Fawn, even if that model is flawed), as a defence mechanism: fawn. He act soft and kind, he doesn't want to fight, he want to please others. Even his over the top reactions to Big E, worshipping him like a god and everything, would be considered a fawn response, from his background with Kor Pharoe. After all, that's how you please a father, right??? Except his one copying mechanism, his one defence, only engendered his biggest trauma, with the destruction of Monarchia. As such, he had reverberate to another extreme, with Fight. Narrativly, he's probably one of those that have the most reasons to hate big E, and yet, no one seem to accept or forgive his transgression. It should never had been a surprise, that he reacted so strongly, and yet it was. And it's easy to see why: people don't consider fawning as an acceptable response, and as a result, he "deserved it".

Angron and Disability

That one is just so sad to me, because it deal with a lot of very uncomfortable subject, like brain injury and sever disability. Angron is disabled. He has difficulty performing some simple, "standard" task, and would need accommodation.

But society hate disabled folk. And it count double when it's a debilitating mental disability. He is seen as "broken" by the people around him, no one try to actually help by making things easier. In fact, Big E even said that he would not care if he died. Because Big E is a eugenic asshole (and that's another big post rant). For society, having the support in place to help people with such severe disability is difficult, and it's so much easier to just.... Let them die. So that's what Big E did.

Magnus and Narcissism

I love Magnus. Out of all the traitor primarch, he's easily the "Nicest". And yet. He's far from perfect. Everything has to go back to him. He has trouble relating to others. An overblown ego. He might not be the most flagrant case in 40k (Im looking at you Big E), but he certainly present as having a narcissist personality.

And already, I can feel you reader grimacing. Why? Why do we, as a society, always demonize those that suffer from it? Why is this one, specifically, so unforgivable for so many people? Is it the apparent lack of sympathie? The perceived unwillingness to change? That they made their own misery, and are somehow more responsible for their actions than others? Magnus is also a victim of his own thought and illness. The unwillingness that we have to accept that those people can change... It help no one.

Konrad and Offender

I have explained myself so many, many, many time about Konrad, but I still won't shut up: this lil gremlin was hurt so bad. He has so many issues, and cannot hope to live a normal life.

Society, when someone is hurt badly, expect people to become a "perfect victime". They want them to be doe eyed and have trembling lips and needing protection. Those that react in violent, ugly ways are not well seen. Those that get mental illness, are uncontrollable and hurt other, are often seen as unworthy of treatment and and help. After all, they became the monster, right??? And that's the most disgusting part of the discourse, especially when it's so normalise: aggressor deserve to die. The moment you hurt others, you loose your status as a human being. It help no one. It sent the wrong message. And in the end, it only perpetuate the cycle.

Perturabo and Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline is... A complicated mental illness, because it is a self fulfilling prophecy. Your sense of self is awful. You self sabotage your interpersonal relationship, leaving you more isolated and suffering, wich fulfill your self hatred, wich feed in your outward behavior.... It never stop.

And there is no easy way to "fix" this one. Theres no easy fix for any mental illness, really, but this one is especially ugly due to the unwillingness of the sufferer. Perturabo... Get very, very little sympathy and understanding in the narrative. His persecutions complex has actual, ugly root, and only feed his delusions and paranoia. As such, it's easy to call him and asshole, and dismiss what is actually some very real symptom of mental illness, thus denying him care and understanding. It only get worst with time, as people blame his misery on himself. It's a pattern that is very difficult to accept, understand and forgive.

Mortarion and Depression

Oh Morty. I have extreme sympathy for him. Depression is, without a doubt, the realm of Nurgle. The apathy, the stagnation, and how it grow like an horrible gangrene.... Even visually, with the rot and bloating, the lack of hygiene, is representative of the symptom of depression.

Morty suffered some extremely severe trauma. Physically and mentally, henever had the time to heal, never had the occasion to sit down and process what happened to him. No one else had the time either, but while you can argue that most have high functioning depressions, Mortarion is far from being functional. Even after he fall to nurgles, unwillingly, he just... Answer in apathy. He does not react. Doesn't do much. He doesn't even have the energy to hate. And we hate him for that. We, as a society, judge people that let themself go, we criticize their choices and tell are very unforgiving toward externalized symptom of depression. Mortarion was never able to control his problems, his fall, or his mental health. And we still judge him for it.

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.... Wow. Ok, that was a lot lmao. I actually skipped Alpharius and Omegon because.... Well. They are just so complicated, I don't know by wich corner I should attack them. Did this amount to anything??? Idk. It just felt right to say so. I think naratively, it really paint the picture that Big E, and by the extension, the imperium, failed them. Imo, all could have been saved. But no one bothered to *try*.

#warhammer 40k #warhammer #wh40k #primarch #konrad curze #perturabo #fulgrim #lorgar aurelian #magnus the red #mortarion #angron #horus lupercal

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