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swabian-princess · 4 days

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Stop obsessing over him…

While it might seem fun to fantasise about a man, to think about him non-stop, to imagine your life together what you’re actually doing is sending a very strong signal to the universe that energetically ‘I come second’. While this might sound extreme, hear me out... Your thoughts are no longer your own because you are thinking about him. You can’t focus on you because you are thinking about him. All of a sudden everything is about him. You wake up, you take a shower. Lost in the fantasy...He might be a man you’re talking to, dating, fucking, whatever the case my be. Obsessing over a man in thought is never something you should get comfortable with, giving your precious energy away to moments that will ….most likely never happen. And what for? What about thinking about you. Your dreams, passions? The vision for your day? You only have so much mental capacity each day. And getting lost in the fantasy is not the answer.

Create no fantasy of him. This is your lesson. Press pause. Literally press fucking pause. Eject the tape. Throw it out the window. This is YOUR movie. You get to take centre stage. You no longer have to play second to mentally overthinking men.

Start choosing you. But you have to choose you in thought first and foremost. You can’t come second in thought. Your thinking has to be on you, about you. You can’t come second mentally because a man who is not your man is taking centre stage in your mind. Your thinking space is prime real estate. It needs YOU. YOU need to own that domain. Not think it’s cute to imagine the future, get all giddy and love sick. No. No no no. Bring it back to you. Your job now is to remain focused on you. That is it. Remain focused of you. Let go. Just let go.

Is this message clear enough for you. Do you understand now how harmful it is to make a man first priority in your mind?

Give yourself some grace. Clean your room and get back to you. Focusing on you. Energising you. It’s a process, but the shift can be instant..all of a sudden one day you just say no. No to allowing a man to take up the domain of your mind. And just like that you can switch off that light in your mind that gets excited to overthink a man. Say no. Pray. Ask for a miracle. Call on angels. This is truly serious because focusing on you, and remaining in your centre is how you win in this life.

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swabian-princess · 3 months

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How to re-programme your subconscious mind…(tried and tested)

When the retreats don’t seem to have a lasting effect, you’ve done therapy, prayed, been to see healers, meditated… but for the life of you, stilllll have wounds so deep that they might appear to be resolved but the moment you meet someone who is wow you suddenly feel unworthy. Maybe not even suddenly, but your relationship wounds are running deep. Relationships trigger you. You end up feeling the same 90% of the time. Unlovable, unwanted, and rejected. The key to remember is that it started with you. With the mind, with your thinking. At whatever point in your childhood (or even later) you took on the belief that you're not worthy, your needs were not met. You took on behaviours that play out still to this day. Maybe it was hiding yourself, maybe it was lashing out? Whatever it is, the same way it started with you, with your thinking, with your processing of events. Is the same way you heal your self. Here are some steps:

1] Forgiveness. Forgiveness is going to free you from your past. Write a list of all the people and situations that caused you pain from your earliest memory to this very day. Whatever pains are etched in your mind, write them down. Once your list is collated, start going through each scenario, sending love and forgiveness to yourself and whoever was involved. Imagine yourself as a loving carer healing the parts of you that were vulnerable, hurt and not safe. Visualise giving yourself love in each scenario. Creating peace. Once you’ve been through a scenario and feel truly at peace with the situation scribble it out and once you are completely done with the papers you can burn them and set yourself free. (this process can take weeks / months depending how long your list is but it's not to be rushed).

2] Whatever is still lingering, use your journal to clear this out. For example, if I asked you right now if the man of your dreams was to appear.. would you feel worthy? Right now as your are? It might not be a man, it might be a job, a salary. Whatever it is, start challenging your old beliefs. You might not feel pretty enough, you might not feel like you are deserving… whatever it is start questioning old ideas you have about yourself. Challenge them..

3] This is the most important step… Once you’ve done the above. You’ll start to see some themes, maybe in your forgiveness list you realised your voice didn’t matter as a child, and that you were silenced, and that you hid yourself as a way to feel safe…whatever you uncover.

3.1 - You are going to write a script, in simple terms - something a child would understand and make sense of and you’re going to write out new beliefs to re-programme your mind. Example ‘I am willing to forgive those who hurt me, I am willing to forgive myself for the hurt I went through, I am no longer hiding myself from the world, I am choosing to be seen , to be celebrated, I am allowing my voice to be heard, my true voice, I matter’ - you want to cover all basis. Every old belief about not being enough, you need to re-write.

3.2 - Record yourself on your phone in a very slow peaceful loving tone reading your script.

3.3 - You need to listen to this recording every single night for at least 1-4 weeks. (It’s usually 21 days, but I did a recording for 1 week on feeling safe and I felt truly healed as if it was a miracle). I was able to LOOP the recording using Mac...I sent the voice recording from my iPhone to my MacBook using airdrop and then opened the sound file in iTunes and pressed repeat. This allowed a short recording to loop all night as I slept. It’s really important to play this on a loop as you want to IMPRESS your subconscious mind with the new beliefs. It’s your own voice, its your own re-wiring.

I hope this helps! The deeper healing work is crucial if you really want to remove those old wounds that seem to be stuck and not budging!

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swabian-princess · 3 months

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Do you have any tips for socialising in Hamburg

Hey,

I would say that Hamburg, Munich and Heidelberg are probably the hardest cities to socialize in if you aren’t born into an affluent circle.

The style there is very lowkey but always put together and very chic. Almost all woman are thin, have well toned bodies, long hair that’s been blown out and great colour coordinated outfits.

Nothing too flashy. You have to get this look down if you even want to have a chance there. The rest should be possible with good social skills.

I would follow antoniajolie on instagram, I believe she’s a Hamburg native and her looks are a great inspo.

Good luck!

#asks with selene

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swabian-princess · 3 months

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Things my therapist said that changed my brain chemistry

1 . Did you tell them? Then how would they know?

2. How many choices were available to you?

3. If it worked out, would you be this worked up? So is your problem the decision you made or how it turned out? Then, you're trying to control a future you can't see?

4. So they have to act a certain way to be in a relationship with you? And you decide what way that is. Ah, so like, a puppet master

5. Was it the goal? Then what's the problem?

6. Do you really want it or do you think you're supposed to?

7. If your daughter did that would this be your reaction?

8. So you're punishing yourself for surviving the only way you could?

9. You are mad you couldn't control their reaction?

10. What did you expect would be the consequence of that action?

11. Sounds to me like you're judging the actions of a teenager with the wisdom of an adult. How is that fair?

12. You were a child

13. You did the best with what you had. There was no other option.

14. You're autistic. This is what it means to be autistic. This is normal neurodivergent behavior.

15. You're literally 24. No 24 year old has that much figured out.

16. It's your phone. You're not it's human.

17. And this matters to you, because.

18. So you're a person with a personality disorder exhibiting symptoms of a personality disorder? Oh.

19. Are you looking for solutions or escaping action in a healthy way. Isn't this just glorified procrastination.

20. How much more could you have done with what you have.

21. Thats basic human behavior.

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swabian-princess · 5 months

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2023 wrap up

Make a list of things that describe you. Use binary terms. Yes or no’s. Don’t try to soften the blow, just be honest. For example: I wake up at 10am. I work out once a month. I always get to work on time. I do my skincare routine typically 5 out of 7 times a week. I always get A’s and B’s. Etc etc

Mark which of those items are things you are proud of and want to continue and which you want to change.

Make a list of the things you want to describe you. For example: I want to wake up at 7am. I want to exercise daily. I want to eat clean at least 2 out of 3 meals a day. I want to speak fluent Spanish. Etc etc

Make detailed notes on how you can quit the things you want to quit and acquire the things you want to acquire.

Do it.

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swabian-princess · 5 months

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100 Words You Can Incorporate Into Your Speech To Sound More Elegant ✨

(Common word - Alternate variation)

Beautiful - Exquisite

Happy - Ecstatic

Smart - Intelligent

Big - Enormous

Small - Petite

Good - Excellent

Bad - Deplorable

Nice - Gracious

Tired - Fatigued

Old - Ancient

Rich - Affluent

Poor - Impoverished

Happy - Joyful

Sad - Melancholic

Hot - Sweltering

Cold - Frigid

Busy - Prolific

Loud - Vociferous

Easy - Effortless

Difficult - Arduous

Fast - Swift

Slow - Languid

Brave - Valiant

Funny - Witty

Rich - Opulent

Poor - Indigent

Old - Vintage

New - Novel

Strong - Robust

Weak - Feeble

Pretty - Alluring

Ugly - Unattractive

Clean - Immaculate

Dirty - Sullied

Happy - Jubilant

Sad - Despondent

Young - Youthful

Old - Antiquated

Big - Colossal

Small - Minuscule

Fast - Rapid

Slow - Sluggish

Brave - Fearless

Funny - Hilarious

Clean - Pristine

Dirty - Filthy

Strong - Stalwart

Weak - Debilitated

Happy - Content

Sad - Poignant

Confusing - Perplexing

Typical - Quintessential

Many - Myriad

Everywhere - Ubiquitous

Contradictory - Paradoxical

Showy - Ostentatious

Insightful - Perspicacious

Arrogant - Supercilious

Obscure - Esoteric

Flatterer - Sycophant

Favorable - Auspicious

Joking - Facetious

Indescribable - Ineffable

Wordy - Verbose

Respected - Venerable

Worsen - Exacerbate

Short lived - Ephemeral

Help - Facilitate

Sneaky - Insidious

Confuse - Obfuscate

Begin - Commence

End - Terminate

Start - Inaugurate

Get - Obtain

Give - Bestow

Make - Fabricate

Break - Shatter

Fix - Rectify

Use - Utilize

Look - Gaze

Find - Discover

Tell - Narrate

Ask - Inquire

Leave - Depart

Buy - Procure

Show - Exhibit

Think - Contemplate

Put - Position

Need - Require

Stop - Halt

Talk - Communicate

Like - Adore

Help - Assist

Call - Summon

See - Perceive

Tell - Enunciate

Go - Traverse

Tell - Express

Have - Possess

Feel - Experience

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swabian-princess · 5 months

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Hiya

Do you have any tips on how to vet a guy?

Like what type of questions to ask on a date etc?

Thank you

Hey girlie,

I would google his name as soon as you have it, look up his name on a variety of social media sites to see if there is something suspicious before even meeting him.

A few questions for a date (not necessarily the first date) could be:

- Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

- What was your favorite vacation that you ever took and why?

- What was the best gift that you‘ve ever gotten from someone else and why?

- What would be a motivation/reason for you to get married? (only because of love? to make things easier when you have kids? because of religion?)

- What happend on the worst date you‘ve ever had?

- Do you believe in love at the first sight?

A general rule for dating should be that you only ask questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no, or one word. You want the conversation to be flowy and easy - that’s something you can achieve with asking questions that need an explanation by your partner. Ask follow up questions and boom - 3 hours are over.

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swabian-princess · 5 months

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do you have any advice for a girl whose been so wrapped up in the girlboss lifestyle her whole life and wants to be a stay at home wife but feels like shes missed the boat? (the girl in question being me 😅) i just... want to be cared for and provided for by a good, a truly good, man. theres something so beautiful about it but i feel so out of the loop. do you have any advice? thank you

Hey girlie,

honestly - to me this sounds like the perfect foundation.

I guess you have a career right now? That’s perfect because you actually have something you can go back to, if you don’t like the SAHGF lifestyle.

It also means that you aren’t dependent on any man, because you have your own life, money and career.

My advice would be:

Start dating and vet the men really good. Remember - you don’t depend on any man, so you can choose your perfect match. Be clear about your expectations and don’t turn him down if he offers to pay for you, whether it’s for dinner or your nails.

Good luck!

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swabian-princess · 5 months

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I swear to god, I don’t know where those thoughts are suddenly coming from

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swabian-princess · 5 months

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Free yourself of the idea that success means fame, wealth and beauty. It does not.

One of the most toxic things we've managed to do as a generation is indoctrinate ourselves (yes, us. It's us) with the idea that it's only as good as it's being seen. You're only as good as who you're better than. Your blog is only useful when it gets 133k notes. Your pictures are only worthy when you get 400k likes or you delete it. You dropped piano because you can't make a career out of it it's not like you'll beat Elton John. You can write, yes, but you're no Jane Austen so you never post your work and when you do and all it gets is 500 reads and not an entire Fandom like that 13 year old who gets 500m reads for a book that's only good for toxic relationships and the worst sex scenes ever written so you give up. Yeah sure you could make a great singer but man you're no Ariana Grande and only 60 listeners on Spotify (friends and family) is embarrassing so you just don't anymore. Because we've managed to indoctrinate ourselves with the idea idea a thing is only as good as its being seen and we scroll all day on Instagram past 20 year Olds with 30M $ net worth from making tiktok videos and that one guy that plays piano like an actual God but he's from Old Money and will definitely get sponsored into a career and God what's even the point.

Your sign to free yourself from the idea that only massive external validation makes a thing worth it and you validating things makes them worthy, more so than countless people you don't know. Play that piano because you want to. Try for a career and fail and get one for your kids and cat to listen. If you have none play for you. You deserve to listen to those tunes and goddammit start doing things for the mere pleasure of doing them. You like art so you painted. Yes it sucks. No ma'am you are no Da Vinci that's for sure. But it made you happy. It's yours. You see it. You like it. That counts. And screw you if you don't think your own opinion counts. Genuinely. Screw you.

Next time you look at your B- in that subject you stayed up all night studying and there's ms smartkid that doesn't even come to class walking out with a 99 and the only reason it's not 100 is there's always room for improvement take yourself out to brunch and have the time of your life. It's no A but it's yours. And its your best. You're no Gordon Ramsay but that dish, oversalted and burnt, was fun to make so you pour yourself juice into your wine glass and eat it up, savoring every bite and wash it down with milk for the salt. You can't sing and honestly those notes could go unheard but it's YOUR bathroom one thing you'll do is scream Lana del effing Rey. You Paid to get into that club you'll dance .

Free yourself from the human gaze and chronic performance, unlearn the idea that you must be groundbreakingly talented or intelligent to do something or you must be unexplainably beautiful or ridiculously wealthy to be a success. If you're going to be on this planet, paying tax and dealing with unnecessary trauma the least you can do is live for yourself.

Sucess is doing something for the pleasure of it. Everything else is performance. The world is NOT a stage it's a planet you're meant to enjoy life on.

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swabian-princess · 5 months

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The last three months were actually the hardest of my whole life and I‘ve spent time in a psych ward before.

I can basically feel how my frontal lobe is almost finished developing because I can see things differently and way more clear than ever before.

Honestly, the war in Gaza also plays a big part.

It‘s the first time in my life that I feel absolutely betrayed by my government and helpless, because I can’t do anything to help those people.

I feel guilty because I actually voted for the people that are currently in the government of my country and I can’t believe that I got blinded so easily.

I am constantly looking for ways to help and to donate.

At the same time, I now refuse to give up myself. Those women would do anything to have the opportunities and chances that I have and I won’t betray them and give up.

It’s never to late to start reinventing yourself.

#hypergamy #hypergamous woman #baby heaux #heaux #heaux tips #spoiled girlfriend #leveling up #health & fitness #beauty #culture #high maintenance heaux #highsociety #high maintenance #hypergamous mindset #hypergamyblr #hyper feminine

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swabian-princess · 6 months

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The Glow Up Game

Part One: Pretty on the Outside

A comprehensive guide to getting your shit together. You heard me. We are done standing on the sidelines, looking at people living their dream lives being rich and hot and happy. WE'RE DONE.

This is a long guide, filled with pointers covering EVERYTHING regarding physical glow-ups. I'll be editing it and reblogging it whenever I come across new ideas and information. It covers everything from head to toe. I mean this literally.

Note: This is for people who want to do glow up physically. It is totally your choice to do anything you want to/don't want to on this list. We live in a world full of unfair beauty standards, and instead of being angry about it, I'm going to exploit the hell out of it.

Are you ready to change yourself? Here we go.

The absolute basics: These are lifestyle changes you're going to implement. Non-negotiable.

Go exercise: Don't look at me like that. This isn't optional. Find a way to move your body so you like it and you're actually breaking a sweat. Leisurely walking on the treadmill does not count, half-hearted zumba does not count. Whatever you're doing, it has to make you SWEAT. A good figure is earned. Trust me when I say you'll feel better, and like what you see in the mirror.

Change your diet: Enough sugar. Toss the soda out, and chuck out your candy stash. You really don't need it. Craving something sweet? Make a batch of healthy, homemade dessert. Or have a piece of fruit. I'm not kidding when I say the kitchen is where you make the biggest lifestyle change. It will be HARD, but every McChicken you say no to, is good for your HEALTH. You want to live longer? Cut out the takeout and heavily processed foods.

Fix your sleep cycle: Sleep is so important, and I think people overlook it so much. All your hard work is wasted if you don't sleep well. Your skin will break out, and your body will refuse to change even if you exercise. SLEEP WELL. Create a nighttime routine and stick to it. Make sure you have at least 7 hours of sleep as a minimum.

Create a skincare routine: Take off your makeup every day. And have a good skincare routine. Cleanse, moisturize and apply whatever you usually do. Exfoliate twice a week and stop touching your face. I also drink an ABC smoothie (Apple+Beetroot+Carrot+Water). This does wonders.

Use sunscreen: I cannot stress this enough. Skin cancer is real, and it will get you if you don't wear sunscreen. Use something higher than SPF 50 and use it religiously. Make sure to get your earlobes, chest and back of your neck. Cover every inch of your skin that will be exposed to the sun.

Drink your water: 3 litres of water per day. You will be amazed at the results. Your skin will clear, your breath won't stink and you won't be dehydrated. This shit works, and there's a reason everyone recommends it. Drink your water.

Moving on to each itty-bitty detail.

Eyes: SLEEP. You want your eyes to look fresh? No pesky dark circles? Get your sleep cycle right. No more late nights. Hot girls sleep on time.

Nose: Those blackhead-looking things are natural, they're called sebaceous filaments. And, no you can't get rid of them. But you can minimize them. Cleanse, moisturize and exfoliate. Don't pick at your skin.

Lips: Don't bite them anymore, for God's sake. You're going to make sure they're chapped beyond belief. Use lip balm religiously and don't overuse lipstick. Your lips WILL get discoloured when you're older. Use a light lip tint, and lip balm/gloss.

Eyebrows: If you want to shape them, go to the hairdresser and get it done.

Facial hair: As someone with naturally dark, thick hair I have a lot of noticeable facial hair. I'm planning on getting it lasered soon. Find a way that works for you and is affordable.

Body hair: I have zero self-consciousness about my arm and leg hair, so I have no desire to shave or wax it. I do wax my underarms, because of ridiculously thick growth. Understand that this is a personal choice, and you do not have to do this if you're unwilling.

Nails: Keep them short or long, always filed and CLEAN. Do not let grime or dirt build-up underneath. Don't keep your nails painted 24/7, it will 100% lead to yellowing. Give your nails some time to breathe between every manicure. When they aren't painted, keep them filed and presentable.

Hair: I have Type 3a curly hair, so my hair routine is tailored to suit me. But what I can tell you is wash your hair at least 1x a week, use sun protectant, and oil your hair before wash day(it works). And use heat on your hair SPARINGLY. If you want to colour you can, but remember it does lead to long term damage, brittleness and bad texture. Get your hair cut every 3-4 months with a trusted hairdresser. Keep switching up hairstyles and do not stick to a single part (middle part, side part) constantly because it can lead to thinning of hair there.

Acne: STOP TOUCHING YOUR FACE I am begging you. Touching your face with grimy hands is a recipe for acne. Cleanse everyday, moisturize heavily and go to a dermatologist if it gets worse.

THIS LIST WILL BE UPDATED

Go live your best life. You deserve everything, and you shouldn't let anything stand in your way, not even yourself. Now GO, you've got shit to do.

xoxo

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swabian-princess · 6 months

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I see myself as an important diplomat, as a brand to protect and represent properly. Every single time I leave my house I'm not just representing myself, I'm representing my family name, I'm representing my country of origin, my religion, my values. When you level up it gets to a point where it isn't just about you, it's about raising high the titles you have been given, or earned.

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swabian-princess · 6 months

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how to use social media and your phone in a positive way

if you want to improve or change an aspect of your life it takes your commitment to be consistent and make real changes. to start, take a piece of paper and answer these questions that will help you have a greater focus and be aware of what you want to change.

how much time are you dedicating to social media?

is it taking up your time?

what would you like to do with that time?

how much time would you like to spend on social media?

what content do you follow?

do you follow content that you consider harmful to you?

instead, what would you like to follow more? (for example, accounts that inspire you or help you to improve, can be about cooking or some hobby you have)

what app do you use most often?

how long do you use your phone?

would you like to use it less?

what habits/hobbies would you like to spend more time on?

now that you are more aware of this issue and how it may be affecting your life i'll share some tips to help you make your social media more secure and use it more positively.

stop following those accounts that are not giving you anything positive.

start following profiles of people who really inspire you or teach you something, for example about the topics you are interested in or the kind of person you would like to become and take them as an example.

set a time limit on the use of these applications, i.e. about 15 minutes a day for example. you can do this from the app itself or from "settings" on your phone.

follow positive content that resonates with you such as people sharing affirmations, success stories or even motivational speeches.

don't use your phone first thing in the morning or last thing at night.

download productivity apps on your phone, such as daylio, notion, habit, etc. with which you can log your days, have a record of your habits or even use them as to-do lists, there are many more of these types.

"i am" is an app that sends you positive affirmations every hour as a notification, it will help you to be centered.

if you do any activity leave your phone somewhere else or even if you are on the bus don't be stuck on your phone, allow yourself to enjoy the present moment.

use the internet to search for information on topics that interest you, either on youtube, blogs, podcasts…

block people or words that you know are not bringing you anything positive.

spend more time cultivating yourself instead of focusing on a world that doesn't exist in social media.

other things to consider.

what we see on social media doesn't have to be real, even if it is, don't compare yourself with those people. on the internet, everyone will want to give their best face and that doesn't mean it's reality, it shouldn't affect you either so forget about it and focus on your own path.

the real world is outside and not through a screen. live human experiences and try to do what makes you happiest every day.

on social media and internet we can find a lot of useful information, let that be the main reason why you use it, and stop wasting your time scrolling on tik tok.

my personal opinion.

the use of social media is not negative, but we have to control what we are consuming and how it is affecting our lives and the time we are spending.

it seems normal to be on the phone all day but this is not beneficial, there are more things to do in the real world and many people say they don't have time to do things when they are really wasting it with their phones.

you can look for information on things that are useful to you but leave your phone aside and start applying them to your life.

leaving all the social media aside has made me feel much better and even more liberated. you don't really need to see what's going on on the internet, because it's not important, there are more important things to live for out there, even more interesting people to meet.

create your world from the experiences you would like to live, the people you would like to share, the person you want to become, and focus on that, which is much more important. in the end, if you don't think about it, it doesn't exist.

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swabian-princess · 7 months

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Treat Yourself Like You’re Insured

Mariah Carey’s legs and lungs are insured for $35 million each. Do you think she purposely tries to break her ankles?

Create a health plan for your appearance, muscles, hair and diet. Make this on a Word document, print it and download it onto a USB drive. You need to have your healthcare regimen within reach AND in a safe box. Make 15 copies if you have to. This is your lifeline!!

Wake when your body wakes you up. It means you’re either well rested or outside conditions interrupted your sleep. Sometimes, I wake up at 4:49-5:49am.

Tailor your skincare regimen to you. If 10 steps are too tedious to you, simplify it to readily available face wipes, moisturizing no-rinse masks and toner pads. If 10 steps are commonplace to you, always seek to make your regimen more enjoyable and effective.

Be picky with your clothes, jewelry and accessories. Choose a hair clip because it’s you, not for its cheap price.

Make time for you. You are the most important being in your lifetime.

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swabian-princess · 7 months

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Hi selene!

What are your thoughts on yacht girls and how would you become one

Hey!

Honestly, I don’t exactly know what yacht girls are, so I can’t help you with that.

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swabian-princess · 7 months

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Safety advice for SAHGFs

1. Have a finished degree

Babes, please don’t drop out of school, university or college to become a spoiled girlfriend or a homemaker.

I don’t care what career you’re currently pursuing but don’t stop until you’ve finished your degree.

2. Make sure that you have health insurance at all times

Don’t be stupid, all it takes is one accident and you'll need an ambulance ride to the emergency room. It's also important to get regular check ups at the doctors office and you don’t want to pay for everything on your own.

Never play around when it comes to your health.

3. Have an exit plan

I know, it is weird to think about leaving your partner but it's necessary that you have an exit plan if things get unbearable.

You don’t need to have it completely planned out with hotel phone numbers but you should roughly know who you would call and where you would go in the case of an emergency.

4. Have your own savings

One of my rules is that my partner never gets 100% access to my bank account. He doesn’t know the exact number of my savings and he doesn’t need to know.

If you don’t have any money in your name – stay working until you have emergency money or be honest with your partner and tell him, that in order for you to feel comfortable, he needs to transfer some money into your account. Don’t budge on that.

5. Keep your documents safe

Don’t keep your birth certificate or social security number and other important documents in a shared safe with your partner until marriage.

I don’t care how much you trust them. If you have to leave you need those documents.

6. Stay social

Yes, every couple has a honeymoon phase but try to keep your family and friends close. Those people know you very well and might be able to see signs of abuse before you do.

Always listen to their concerns and reflect them with yourself when you got the time for it.

Most people are concerned when young women decide to stay at home because it makes us very vulnerable to abuse.

Be honest with yourself and if you see signs that your partner tries to shield you from family or friends who are asking questions – get the hell out of the relationship.

It’s a) never okay to shield your partner from their social contacts and b) instead, they should try their best to assure your family and friends that you’re safe with them.

Never dismiss your families or friends concerns for your well-being, reassure them time over time that it is okay and that you actively chose this lifestyle.

I actually have one family member that is my ride or die, I know that if something went wrong with my relationship, they would be there for me in a second and help me through it all.

7. Have emergency money that you can spend immediately

Sometimes it takes a few days to withdraw a larger amount of money from your bank account. I personally have an account that doesn’t have a set limit but I know people who do.

It's important that you can spend the money immediately when you need it. Millions in your bank account are worth nothing if you can’t use the money in an emergency situation.

Maybe even think about hiding cash somewhere safe.

8. Don’t live above your means

I think this one is kind of self explanatory. If you’re a normal person and your partner is too – you can’t throw out money left and right.

It is possible to be a homemaker even if your partner isn’t rich.

However, make sure that you know the limits – it is actually very easy. If you want to go on an international vacation three or four times a year, stay working yourself. The same applies to shopping.

For me it is simply – working was very exhausting due to a high pressure work-field and I was always burned out. I made decent money but it wasn’t worth it for me. I rather stay at home, take care of all the chores and maybe buy less clothes, than start working again in my field (at least full-time and for now).

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