hi! first post in a while

it's probably obvious now but i'm not going to be active on this account anymore. i started this account when i was 14 or 15 and now i'm almost twenty. i didn't understand what had happened to me, just that it hurt, and i wanted to put out into the world the things i wished someone would tell me.

i won't be deleting this blog because i'm aware it's still a resource for some people but this is most likely the last thing i'll be saying on here. i'll leave this account with: you are not the exception to positivity like this. you matter.

thank you for the lovely community i've been able to be a part of for these years of my life. ❤️

What’s going to make you happy right now? Is it some cake? Is it a nap? Is it calling your mom? Is it going on a drive and blasting music? Is it taking a bath? Is it reading a book?

Check in with yourself because you deserve that happiness, whatever it is.

This goes out to all the survivors out there who weren’t believed, or haven’t said something in fear of not being believed.

I see you. You’re valid. And I believe you.

Hey y'all. Healing is possible. It's hard and it takes years. There are things you may not be able to fully heal and there are things you will let go of quickly. It's okay. There is no timeline for healing.

You do not deserve pain. You do not exist to suffer. I know in your darkest times it is so easy to feel that you deserve this agony but you do not. Your life will get better, and you will receive the love and kindess you deserve.  

Not positivity but I didn’t see any relevant “culture is” blogs so I thought you might share

In my opinion it’s a thing about survivors or people with (c)PTSD, to state you can not consume certain media. And stating it as such, instead of hedging

And it’s, frankly, a healthy boundary. So I encourage you all: just say no. Just say “I can not”. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel like you have to vindicate your boundaries. No; I will not; I can not - are all full sentences on their own

I’m in my mid-twenties and whenever a TV series has too direct sex-references, I can not watch it. And I have said and will continue to say “it’s not like I can watch it”.

++ if people don't respect your boundaries that's not your fault, you deserve to have your feelings honoured

by coolurbanhippie

Remember to respect your energy levels, so you don’t drain yourself dry. Go slowly if you need to, and take care of yourself. 🌸

it’s okay if your memory is bad even if:

• you can’t remember peoples birthdays

• you can’t remember to eat or drink or go to the bathroom

• you can’t remember something someone asked you to do

• you can’t remember things that people think are essential

• you can’t remember to do household tasks

• you can’t remember plans you’ve made

you are not a bad person.

if you’re having any sort of trouble with black & white thinking & convincing yourself that you’re inherently a “bad person” to everyone who is and has been in your life, i hope you remember to take a few deep breaths before jumping onto the self-hate train. there isn’t a single person in this world who hasn’t done or said the wrong thing, who hasn’t harmed someone in a way or made a mistake. you can’t automatically judge yourself for your wrongdoings. you’re much more than them.

hi, just letting you all know i'm still not really replying to messages/writing oc but i've been started on some new meds so maybe i'll be back soon, it depends how it all goes. i'm also recovering from top surgery so i haven't really been online much. as always, post submissions are appreciated <3

Health =/= Worth

You are still just as valuable even if you aren’t, or never will be, ‘healthy’!

So often, I see healing painted as this always “beautiful” and “magical” thing. And it’s valid if that’s what helps you cope with needing to heal. But I think it’s important to acknowledge that while there are beautiful, possibly even magical aspects to healing, it is not always like that. Healing can, at times (even a majority of the time) be exhausting, ugly, and draining. And it’s important to know that because it’s okay. It’s okay if your healing is not beautiful.

You went through something awful, and it’s okay for your healing to reflect that. 

You got through the days you worried most about, you got through the weeks you were anxious about, and you got through the months you felt at your worst. Take a moment to be proud of yourself for that, and maybe even reward yourself. I believe in you for going through and doing well in the moments you still have ahead of you.

it’s okay to miss them without wanting them back in your life. it’s okay to remember and long for those good memories you made with them. it’s okay to feel sad when you re-realise that there’s a reason they’re no longer in your life. it’s okay. just because you miss them or miss moments you had with them, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you want or need them back in your life. you are simply reminiscing on the past and that’s normal.

love to everyone who is struggling with the idea of the new year right now. you have survived another year despite it all and that is all that matters

you have the right to recover and enjoy life