supraveng
"where do I buy a moral compass?"
Hi I'm Kris! 40ish/writer and reblogger ~~ my blog is not intended for minors~~
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Ahhh ...that was an emotional roller coaster, with the best ending
Pirate & Pin Cushion (3)
Jake Jensen x gn! ops!Reader
Painful...But In A Good Way (see previous or JJ Masterlist)
The last thing you remember in the awkward kiss Jake planted on you during a screaming match. Now, awake and healed, your friend and teammate is acting more awkward than usual around you.
Warnings for foul language, *super skimmed over action,* canon-level betrayal (Roque), completely vague mentions of injuries, suspicions, doubts, misunderstandings,--GO FIGURE--an argument, and I just wanted this done honestly. Not that I don't love them, but I need a win in the COMPLETED department. WC ~1.5k
You’re a Loser through and through now.
Months have gone by since you were stabbed and unceremoniously, sorta-kinda-maybe-not kissed by Jake Jensen. You woke up six days later with Pooch by your side, disappointed it wasn’t your Banter Bro.
The last thing you remember is turning away from Jake to hide your face. After that, nothing. You suppose he feels awkward about it. Maybe he regrets it, even if the ‘kiss’ was just part of a gag to him.
The most frustrating part is everything is exactly the same. Jake keeps you at arm’s length, a holding pattern to get no closer as teammates but no farther as friends.
Is this…are you in the friend zone???
It blows.
You’d still prefer this over being a pariah, so on you quip from interaction to interaction.
For all Jake’s hype about loving Halloween, he shuts down when you ask him what costume you should choose. Then he goes home to his sister and niece for the holiday.
...Okay…
You console yourself knowing this is for the best. You’d promised yourself no attachments, and nature clearly pushes for you to keep that promise.
You’ve almost—almost—resigned yourself to actual pin-cushion-status, jabbed repeatedly by his indifference. You are PC: perpetually crushing on Jake Jensen. It sucks.
You can be professional though. You can keep up with the jokes and take the hits to your heart and body that come with the job.
Until you can’t.
Los Angeles. The port. The shitshow.
While scrambling to get out of the line of fire in a showdown gone wrong, Jake cuts his leg vaulting over a concrete barrier, and you get him to a nook between shipping crates.
You squat down to change the mag on your MP7 and suddenly hear Roque’s voice behind you. He’s not on the comms.
“Should’ve told ‘em, Jensen."
The look on Jake’s face is shocked and bitter.
Roque clicks his tongue. "At least then they’d know…”
Before you can so much as turn to look, Jake’s raised his own weapon, firing right over your shoulder and within inches of your ear.
The pain is sharp and hot, sending you stumbling into the warped metal wall of the nearest container.
Jake wraps a thick arm around your waist and yanks you away.
You catch sight of Roque dead on the asphalt.
It’s complete chaos, pure survival mode for the next twenty minutes, deaf and deftly tying a bandage around Jake’s leg in an open, empty crate while he’s on comms and frantically hand-signaling you the plan.
But you make it. Everyone but Roque makes it.
Eventually, when the ringing subsides in your non-ruptured ear, Clay lays outRoque betrayed the team. Aisha teaches you a way to cup your occipital and tap to reduce the tinnitis. Pooch leaves to see the birth of his first child.
You’re left to ponder if Jake is a traitor, too.
Did he kill Roque to keep his own cover? Was he supposed to recruit you into his and Roque’s plan? Is that what he ‘should have told you’ so Roque wouldn’t need to kill you?
The possibilities haunt you. Is this why he’s kept you distant for months? Was Jake worried you’d catch on?
You blame your stupid crush for stopping you from telling Cougar your concerns. You trust Jake—or you want to trust him, so badly—so you confront him alone.
Dinner. At your place. Away from the team so he can feel safe to admit it. Away from the team so you can pretend your forgiveness isn’t already secured. You’ll deal with the consequences once you know the truth.
Jake seems an odd mix of totally psyched and forcefully reserved when you invite him and a nervous wreck when he arrives at your door.
It’s just pizza. You were too distracted to do more.
He doesn’t pick up his slice because you don’t either, running your hands up and down your thighs compulsively, then quietly asking, “about what Roque said…”
Jake leans back in his chair, leg bouncing frantically, rubbing at his neck. “Yeah,” he replies, eyes on the floor.
“Was he…were you his partner in that? Were you suppose to take me out, too?
Jake’s head snaps up, his mouth askew and brow pinched. “WHAT?”
“Just tell me the truth. I swear, we can work it out with the rest—“
“Is this what—what the fuck—“ he shoves the chair back and steps away “—that’s the reason I’m here right now? I thought you were finally gonna say it!”
Jake rips his glasses off his face and harshly runs his fingers through his frosted tips.
“Say…what? What am I supposed to say? I’m not the one Roque had a damn secret with.”
He’s visibly upset but with bugged-out eyes like he has no idea what to do.
“Well, I’m not a fucking traitor,” he mumbles.
Jake replaces his glasses and takes his phone from the pocket of his low-slung jeans, hitting a few buttons and tossing it onto the table. It slides until it knocks your plate.
His own recorded laugh cuts off quickly. “Okay, PC, what were you saying about Halloween? One more time,” and then comes another slow voice, “I should have told you before I died.
“I love you.”
Your whole body freezes, brain turning the words over and over until it occurs to you…that is your voice.
“I didn’t say that.” Your knee-jerk reaction comes swiftly. “I don’t remember that.”
Jake snorts without humor. “Got that part.”
You’re too stunned to speak. You can’t even imagine when you would have…oh god.
Jake rushes to fill the silence as you die inside, again, maybe more realistically because what.
“Did you at least think I was a badass, like, ya know, a sexy traitor or whatever? Or…were you gonna wrestle me to the ground after I ate a whole pie?”
You keep sitting with your mouth agape.
“You didn’t poison the pizza, did you? Right? Say 'no.' That’s overkill, or just, kill—were gonna kill me?!”
“I’D KNOWN YOU FOR TWO WEEKS,” you explode, bolting out of your own chair.
“Yeah,” Jake squeaks, “I know.”
“Two weeks, and then you taped me saying ‘I love you?’”
“But, like—“ his usually deep timbre pitches super high “…did you?”
“Why would you just sit on that, Jake?!”
He shrugs. “You weren’t exactly sober.”
Too much, too many feelings, all at once. You try to get away, to make a break for the bathroom, but Jake grabs your wrist and swings your momentum to the wall.
Your back hits with a soft thud, pinned in place by Jake’s chest. He’s not breathing heavily, but you are, pushing you against him repeatedly.
That just makes it harder.
Yes, you said it (you guess), and yes, you meant it. Jake, however, hasn’t said word one about if he feels some sort of way for you. Your brain can’t intuit his romantic inclinations two minutes after accusing him of treachery.
He’s…there, not moving, not speaking, lips slightly parted while he stares at you.
You clear your throat.
“You’re…you’re touching me,” you say softly.
Jake doesn’t skip a beat, gently tightening his hold on your arms. “That’s what I do, PC. Finger keyboards.”
You gag as he quickly shakes his head.
“What the fuck?”
“Sounds sooooo bad," Jake moans. "I’m so sorry.” He let’s go of you, steps back, and slaps his hands in the air frantically. “Wait, okay? That was not the joke. I can do it.”
“You’re sick, man.”
Jake rubs at his temples, muttering something about keys, computers, and Halloween. “Hold on...so dumb. This is why I was trying to record it! It’s your joke. You were laying on the bed and--”
“I would never say you fin—“
“He was standing right there,” Jake bursts, scaring you to silence. “Roque. When you said that into the phone, I mean, he was standing at the door and he heard.”
Jensen sighs. Defeated and deflated, he rests his hands on his hips, inhaling sharply.
“So at the port when… He aimed a gun at you and I just—“ he makes a finger gun to point over your shoulder, adding a soft pow sound-effect “—Roque was saying I should have told you before he tried to kill you.”
“About the recording?”
“No.” Jake rocks on his heels.
“About the joke?” Your voice is so small.
His stupid, beautiful blue eyes lift to meet yours.
“No, pin cushion, not about the joke.”
There's a horridly long pause of nothingness.
"Fuck it."
Jake lunges forward with startling intensity, fingers lace behind your head to draw you to him.
You don’t turn away this time.
His lips are soft yet determined, slowly pulsing to transform one kiss into dozens, and he adjusts everything—his height, his stance, his proximity to get even more of you in a single embrace.
“I love you,” Jake whispers, shifting to tilt you left while he goes right. “I should have told you ‘I love you,’ too.”
You promised yourself no attachments, but who are you kidding? You're such a loser, and you found your match.
[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
😵💫
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Thank goodness stupid Dean redeemed himself
My Greatest Fear - Dean Winchester (smut)
Don't say I didn't warn y'all. Inspired by Benson Boone's new song "My Greatest Fear". Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx
Summary: Dean broke things off with the reader years ago, the biggest mistake of his life. But when Sam tells his brother that (y/n) is getting married, Dean knows it's time to make things right. He won't leave this life behind without being able to call her his once again.
Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, ex-lovers to lovers, some angst, lots of fluff tho, reader is a runaway bride
Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (3k words)
Got a lot on my mind that keeps me up at night, I’m tossing and turning, thinking that my life’s gone to waste
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Dean shot the waitress a big smile as she placed his breakfast down, blushing as the handsome man winked at her. The older Winchester brother was too focused on his food to pick up on the uneasiness radiating off Sam, to focus on the sadness swimming in his brother’s pupils.
“Fuck, that’s good.” Dean’s moans rumbled through him as he ate the greasy deliciousness, sipping on his coffee every now and then. It took him a while to lift his gaze, to allow his green eyes to focus on Sam’s untouched breakfast, forcing Dean’s eyebrows to furrow in confusion. “Not hungry? Shouldn’t you eat something after a long run?”
“Mhm,” Sam’s eyes were focused on the window, unable to look at his brother any longer. His heart clenched in his chest, his mind was racing faster than it had in the past months, struggling to part his lips.
“Sam,” Dean’s raspy voice forced Sam’s eyes back towards his older brother, unable to hold eye contact for long. “What’s wrong?”
Dean had put down his breakfast burger while taking another sip of coffee. He patiently waited for Sam to speak, to spill whatever was visibly plaguing him. But Sam kept quiet, deeply inhaling as if he had to muster the strength to speak. Dean repeated his brother’s name, much quieter this time around, gentle almost – as if he had finally realised that whatever Sam was about to speak would hurt them both.
“I received an email this morning.” It was a whisper, nothing more, words so obscurely simple that Dean couldn’t help but laugh. But Sam didn’t give in, killing Dean’s hope that Sam was simply fucking with him. Something heavy was about to claw through Sam, something heavy that could determine the outcome of this very day. “It was from Mary, (y/n)’s sister.”
Now it was on Dean to freeze, not expecting his brother to speak her name. Their eyes met, urging Sam to keep on speaking, to tell his brother about the email he had opened with shaky fingers, freezing in his step as he read the words she had written to him.
“(Y/n)’s getting married, Dean.” Sam was forced to watch Dean sink back into the seat, arms crossed in front of his chest, uneasy eyes staring down at the table. And for a moment, neither of them spoke, letting the words sink in – words that had been Dean’s greatest fear ever since he had left her all these years ago.
He had been stupid back then, too childish for his own good. Guided by his father’s words, he had dropped (y/n) and the life they could have lived together. His father had made pretty promises, telling his young son of women awaiting him, women he shouldn’t miss out on because of a marriage that would only tie him to (y/n), away from all the fun he could experience. The greatest mistake of his life, a mistake he hated himself for every single day.
“That’s good for her. I’m happy she found somebody who treats her right.” The words pained Dean to speak, rolling off his tongue with a sharp edge that left Sam cringing. His hand found Dean’s forearm, gently squeezing his brother’s arm in a gesture so unfamiliar, Dean had to stop himself from shaking off Sam’s hand.
“Dean, I’ve always loved her like a sister, I only want what’s best for her. But you’re my brother, I know how much not having her around scars you, I see it every day on your face. Get her back, try it at least.”
Of all the things that I've been afraid to lose, my greatest fear of all is losing you
……
“I shouldn’t do this.” They were parked in front of the small church, eyes watching the big crowd of unfamiliar faces. Both Dean and Sam were wearing a suit, knowing that they had to blend in with the wedding guests to find their way to (y/n). “Why should she take me back? Why should she even listen to me?”
“Dean, if there is one thing I know it’s that she still loves you. Let’s get your girl back.” Sam was first to step out into the warm morning, eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses as they walked up to the crowd. He felt Dean close, not daring to speak up with his choked-up throat, with his heart pounding in his chest, knowing that this would be his only shot to make things right for once in his life.
“Mary!” Sam’s voice echoed through the air, eyes focused on the frame of (y/n)’s sister. The young woman flung herself into Sam’s open arms, chuckling into his neck as he held her close for a moment. A moment too long for Dean who was growing more antsy with every passing second.
“Thank you for coming. She’s making a mistake, Sam. You’re my only hope with this.” The words left Dean frozen, confused eyes flickering between his brother and Mary. He hadn’t read the email Mary had sent to Sam, hadn’t asked any further questions about the man (y/n) was about to marry, trusting that he was somebody she loved. “Come, I’ll bring you to her.”
“What the fuck man?” Dean growled the words at Sam as he followed them through the crowd and towards a small house built near the church. Sam fell into pace with his brother, watching Mary lead them towards the place where (y/n) was currently getting ready.
“Well, you didn’t think I’d let you do this without knowing (y/n) would willingly leave her fiancé, did you? I wouldn’t destroy her happiness just like that, Dean.” Realistically, Dean should have known that Sam wouldn’t just push him into this without knowing that there was a chance to get her back. Sam had hated him for a while after he had left (y/n), punishing Dean for breaking her heart at any given chance, a broken bond that had needed months to be repaired.
“(Y/n)? I brought two special guests.” Mary’s voice echoed through the small cabin, ringing in the brother’s ears as they waited outside. Dean felt his hands tremble, forced to let go of deep exhales as Mary opened the door for them, allowing them to step inside. His eyes were drawn to (y/n)’s like a moth to a flame, and his world stopped spinning, unable to focus on anything but her.
It took (y/n) a second to react, seemingly confused about the appearance of the two hunters she hadn’t seen in years. She was pulled into a hug by Sam, giving Dean another moment to admire her, the white dress she wore – a sight he had only seen in his dreams, imagining this very day, with him waiting at the altar for her. Dreams that had evaporated into a hazy nothingness the day he had left her.
“Hi, sweetheart.” She sank into Dean’s grasp, clinging to him as if he hadn’t been the man who had broken her heart all these years ago. He watched his brother and Mary leave the cabin, giving the two some time alone as they kept on holding one another.
“What are you doing here, Dean?” (Y/n) mumbled the words against the fabric of his suit jacket, not caring about smudging her make-up, not caring about anything but the way Dean held her close – as if he hadn’t ever stopped holding her. Carefully, Dean let her go, needing to give them some distance for the words he was about to speak, knowing that this could escalate any moment now.
“I can’t let you marry another man without telling you that leaving you was my greatest mistake. A life without you has always been my biggest fear, I was stupid, so fucking stupid, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have listened to Dad, I should have married you right that day. And I hate myself for not doing it, for letting you go when you have always been my whole world. I know there is no chance for me to make things right, and even though Sammy and Mary hope that I will sweep you off of your feet and bring you back home to us, I know I can’t.” Tears dripped from her eyes, tears (y/n) didn’t care to wipe away.
“I hated you for years, you broke me, Dean. You took away my life, my friends, the people I had grown to love. You ripped my heart right out of my chest, and even though I tried to fight for it, to regain its strength, I miserably failed. I should curse you, should tell you to fuck off and never show your face to me again. But I can’t. For Christ’s sake, Dean. What are we doing here?” He cupped her face with shaking fingers, letting his forest-green eyes run over her gorgeous face.
“I want to kill him for getting a chance to love you, time that has been wasted because of me. But I don’t want to take another choice from you. If you want to marry him, I will watch from the first row, hell, I’ll even carry your veil.” His voice shook as he whispered the words, growing tense as (y/n) rested her hands on top of his, still cupping her cheeks.
“And if I don’t want to marry him?”
……
I'm scared to take another picture of you, 'cause I'm scared to have another thing that I can lose, oh, dear, who am I without you here?
“I thought you were taking me home, where are we going?” Her laughter echoed through Baby, eyes set on Dean’s grinning features. They had left the church a while ago, running away like she had secretly hoped they would. (Y/n) had always been a dreamer, a dreamer who had pictured that very moment since the day it had dawned on her – about to marry a man she didn’t love. A man who wasn’t Dean Winchester.
“We’ve got another thing to take care of first, I am not losing any more time.” Baby screeched to a halt in front of a pink church, a sight that left (y/n) confused, and Dean and Sam chuckling. They made their way into the church, with her fingers interlaced with Dean’s, with her white wedding gown clinging to her frame, with his suit hugging his frame.
“Dean, Sam, I didn’t think I’d ever get to see you two around here!” An elderly man greeted them with a big smile. His brown eyes were drawn to (y/n)’s almost instantly, with a knowing smile growing on his lips – a smile that had an almost proud touch to it. “That’s her, huh? Took you quite some time, didn’t it.”
“(Y/n), that’s Danny, an old friend of ours we met on a hunt. He could wed us, with Sammy as our witness, if you’ll have me.” Her heart had stopped beating, skipping a few beats as Dean’s words sank in. Her teary eyes found his and with a laugh clawing through her, she pressed a kiss to his lips, drawing a groan out of Dean, who tried to prolong the kiss for as long as possible.
“I will always have you, Dean.” She was pulled towards the altar, unable to stop her tears from dripping as Danny began speaking a prayer she paid no attention to. All (y/n) could do was study Dean, the love swimming in his pupils, the way he looked at her as if she was his sun, alighting the darkest days with her mere presence. A soul crafted for his to hold onto, to love till their time together would eventually run out.
“Do you have any rings?” Danny’s soft voice ripped (y/n) out of her thoughts, about to whisper a soft, disappointed “No”, but before she could even part her lips, Sam excitedly spoke up. Her eyes watched the tall Winchester brother, how he reached for his breast pocket to expose a small envelope to her glassy eyes. Wordlessly he pushed it towards Dean, who opened it with an unwavering smile stuck to his lips.
“I bought these rings years ago, sure to eventually push yours down on your finger. I am sorry it took me this long.” Her sob left Dean chuckling, exposing his also teary eyes to hers. She had held onto all these longings for years, mere dreams that were now finally turning real – as if she was just sleeping through another longing.
But, you're here, now, and that makes it better, somehow
……
“Let me.” Dean’s soft voice filled his bedroom. He was standing behind (y/n), carefully helping her out of her wedding dress with his gaze focused on the ring clinging to his finger. The past hours had flown by all too quickly, turning her from a runaway bride into his wife. His wife. A title so unfamiliar, Dean had to fight against the urge to pinch himself.
His for eternity. His to love. His to worship.
“I love you, Dean.” (Y/n) whispered her words as she stepped out of her dress, exposing her underwear-clad frame to his hungry eyes. She was pulled into a teeth-chasing kiss, a kiss dripping with emotions that made her feel all too dizzy, having to hold onto Dean before she could be ripped into another dimension.
“I love you too, sweetheart. And I’m so fucking sorry for missing out on this for years.” He pressed her down on the mattress, giving her a show as he slowly undressed. Her body was aching for him, needing to feel Dean close after all these long years apart.
“Stop apologising with words and show me that you truly mean them.” His lips kissed her chest, the valley between her breasts as he undid her bra, exposing her hardening nipples to his twinkling eyes. Dean could cum just from the sight of her naked frame, a sight he had only seen in his dreams for the past years, not daring to imagine being this fortunate again.
“God, you’re so beautiful. I promise to worship you for as long as you want me to.” Dean’s raspy words vibrated on her skin, covering her body with goosebumps as he kneaded her soft flesh. His cock was pressed against her clothed heat, drawing moans from her whenever he moved against her heat, desperate for the kind of friction that left them both trembling.
“I need you inside of me, Dean.” Her raspy whispers left him groaning against her skin as she raised her hips to help him pull her damp panties down her legs. Just this morning, (y/n) had imagined this very moment, knowing that she’d think of Dean when her husband touched her, a loveless marriage she would have been trapped in.
“Are you still on birth control?” (Y/n) could only nod her head, mind taken up by the feeling of his wandering hands, keeping her pressed against him. Dean's cock twitched against her naked cunt, brushing through her arousal-covered folds to coat himself, “I love you, and I’ll do my best to prove it to you for the rest of our lives.”
“I love you too, Dean.” He pushed into her with a groan, forehead falling against hers as she fluttered around him. It felt as if he had entered paradise, falling to rest on clouds covering his body. She was his Elysium, his safe haven, the one where Dean could be the truest version of himself.
He moved slowly at first, both needed some time to adjust to one another after all these years, but the second their bodies relaxed, properly enjoying one another’s closeness, Dean began to move faster. Their bodies met with every thrust, eyes holding a contact so intense, (y/n) feared her heart would explode right in her chest.
Dean was taking his time with her, this wasn’t a rushed fuck to make up for all the time lost, no, it was so much more. This was the purest form of love, a one-of-a-kind love both had clung to in lonely nights, with wandering minds and trembling hands. This is what they had been destined to have, years ago – a love they were now rediscovering.
“You feel so good, baby.” He felt her clenching around his cock, drawing another gritty sound out of Dean. (Y/n) was long gone, pushed into another dimension where she only knew Dean, nothing but his love, his touch, his irrevocable longing for her. Sensations she was taken hostage by, unable to shake them.
His warm fingertips found her pulsing bundle, circling it with just enough pressure to draw his name out of her. (Y/n) could feel her orgasm slithering its way up her body, whispering to her to hold onto her husband, and with her fingernails clawed into Dean’s shoulders, she came. He followed her right down the edge, moaning against her lips as their bodies were moulded together.
“Fuck, we’ll have to do that all through the night, husband.” (Y/n) whispered the words as a few heavy pants left her, making a laugh claw out of Dean who chased her slightly swollen lips for another kiss.
“Trust me, I won’t let you leave our bed for weeks, wife.”
Don't know how the broken pieces fit together if you leave it, so, don't go, don't go, I would take your hand if I could reach it
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Oh that's just so good....idiot Anthony is my guilty pleasure
Why don't you love me?
Anthony Bridgerton x reader
Summary: Y/n and Anthony are in an arranged marriage. When she stops trying to make the relationship work and be the perfect wife, Anthony realizes what he's lost. Will he be able to get her back?
(gift is not mine)
It wasn't the marriage she wanted. And it wasn't what he wanted, because, in fact, he didn't even want to be married. And he didn't mind showing it. But for Y/n, she tried to make the best of their unfortunate situation.
It all started at the beginning of the season when Violet Bridgerton decided that her firstborn had been single for too long. So, she spoke to Y/n's parents, who were good friends of hers, and they both decided that a marriage between the two would be beneficial to both families. Anthony was going to have the support of someone who would take Violet's place as Viscountess and Lady Bridgerton. For Y/n's life, in this society, having a husband was essential and this marriage would allow social advancement.
Thus, Anthony and Y/n agreed with this decision. The preparation for the wedding was carried out quickly and this event was the biggest news for days. Lady Whistledown didn't help matters either by immediately releasing an advert showing her doubts about Anthony having a wife.
This only worsened Y/n's mood, who already feared being married to Viscount Bridgerton, as she was now doubting all the lovers Anthony could take to their bed. Would he not respect their marriage? Did she just want an heir and take care of the children? With these doubts, she said the "I do" in front of hundreds of people watching the ceremony, and allowed just one tear to fall.
From the beginning, Anthony made a point of making it clear that their marriage was purely a compromise, and that he would never truly love her. He was going to fulfill his role and try to have an heir and outside the house, they would act like a happy couple, but it wouldn't go beyond that. In silence, Y/n just offered him a nod, showing that she understood.
However, since then, nothing has happened between them. Anthony allowed her to have her own room, something Y/n was more than grateful for. Having to look at the face of her husband who would never love her every time she fell asleep would be too painful.
She was expecting that on some nights he would enter her room to try to get her with child. But none of that happened, which only confused Y/n more. Was he so disgusted by the idea of being married to her that he didn't even want to have pleasure with her?
So she tried to distract herself with tasks that could take some of the work off Anthony's shoulders and try to be the perfect wife. But Anthony still refused to spend more than five minutes alone with her. At breakfast, he was already at the office when Y/n woke up to go eat, at night he preferred to spend time with his brothers instead of returning home. He was making everyone's life difficult and Y/n was starting to get more and more sad. Would this be her routine until the end of her life? Trying to please a husband who didn't want her?
It was on a summer afternoon that Y/n, upon returning from a social gathering with Anthony's mother and sister, realized how hot the mansion was. She quickly remembered how Viscount's office, the few times she had been there, was directly in the sun which made it even hotter. So she decided to be brave and try to have at least a friendly relationship with her husband, so she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
With growing nerves, Y/n went to Anthony's office door and knocked on the wood. After hearing Anthony's voice, she opened the door, finding him plus Benedict, who had become good friends with Y/n.
"Oh, I apologize if I am interrupting." she said shyly, keeping to the doorway.
"You are." Anthony immediately agreed in a deep voice, not paying attention to her and turning his attention back to the papers.
At the same time, his brother hurried to assure Y/n, "You're not interrupting anything. You even saved me from Anthony's boring lecture here."
The woman smiled uncomfortably. "Right. I just came to bring you a cup of water. It's so warm outside. I wasn't aware you were here, Mr. Bridgerton, but I can go and also bring you some water."
"Thank you, Y/n, I would—"
However, he couldn't finish his sentence as Anthony hit the table, causing his wife to jump in fright and immediately take a step back. Her reaction made Anthony's expression show some regret, but he quickly hid it. A silence fell between the three.
"I'm fed up, Y/n! Can't you understand that men are trying to work?! Go back to your life of looking at flowers and walking around without having to do anything and leave!"
Y/n's mouth opened and closed several times, trying to understand what had just happened. Finally, she pursed her lips and her eyes turned cold. "I apologize, Lord Bridgerton. It won't happen again. If you'll excuse me."
When she left the room, Benedict looked at his brother in shock. "That was so harsh. The poor girl was trying to be nice and cared enough to bring you a glass of water. If you don't want it, I'll have it. I'm talking about the glass and her."
"Don't you dare." he muttered with a clenched jaw, glaring furiously at Benedict. Where did this anger come from just thinking about Y/n with another man? "Now, let's go back to discuss how you spent money on a bet."
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Y/n's behavior with Anthony changed completely. Everyone noticed that the Viscountess finally reached her limit, and stopped being the friendly wife, now looking coldly at her husband whenever they passed each other in the mansion. However, as a couple and heads of the family, they still had obligations to fulfill together.
Public appearances were more tense, but they still managed to keep a smile on their faces and talk to all the ladies who asked about their marriage and when they would have children, giving short answers so that nothing would end up in Lady Whistledown's hands. They also attended a horse race, even betting on different horses that would win. Y/n ended up winning the bet, and her smug look irritated Anthony for the rest of the day, something his brothers were quick to tease him about.
But despite not liking Anthony after his cruel words, which Y/n still thought about constantly, she adored his sisters and mother. They had accepted Y/n into the family, including her in their gatherings and even being a should to cry on. Daphne had already said more than once that she would have no problem going to Anthony and try to talk some sense into him, but Y/n refused. Anthony already didn't like her, if he thought she was turning his family against him he would hate her even more. And she didn't need to make her life worse than it already was.
One day, when she went with Anthony to the Bridgerton mansion to drop off some documents, Hyacinth, Anthony's younger sister, took her aside. Y/n followed the girl to the bathroom where she, with teary eyes and trembling lips, asked her if she was going to die when she started bleeding from her lady parts. Hyacinth also revealed to her that she wanted to go to her mother, but she had gone shopping with Francesca and was alone at home with just Collin. Y/n, very calmly and gently, assured her that it was a normal thing and that all women went through this, explaining what she should do.
It was no secret that Y/n was happy that Hyacinth trusted her with this scary situation and that she was able to help the girl. Despite all the problems in her marriage, she now had a role in helping Anthony's sisters and she never wanted to fail in that.
To Y/n's surprise, Hyacinth ended up giving her a big hug, remaining attached to her for the rest of the afternoon. Her period was making her so affectionate, more than she already was, that Y/n couldn't stop a big smile from appearing on her face at receiving so much affection.
Anthony, when he finally finished talking to Collin about the documents he brought, I was surprised to see his sister on the couch hugging Y/n. "Hyacinth, what are you doing?"
"Hugging my sister-in-law, brother. But you don't know what that is, do you?" she snapped. The girl's change in mood made Y/n have to put a hand over her mouth to keep Anthony from hearing the laughter that escaped her.
The shock on Anthony's face was comical. His little sister was basically choosing Y/n over him. And in truth, he didn't judge her because his wife was, without a doubt, better than him. And she deserved so much better.
On the other hand, his heart warmed when he saw the bond that the two had created. It was clear that Y/n felt great affection for his family. Could it be that if he had accepted this marriage from the beginning, they would now be a happy family? That they would spend afternoons together, cuddling on the couch and talking to his siblings? All these thoughts were racing through his mind, and the guilt was growing so much that he felt like he was going to vomit.
"Lord Bridgerton?" that sweet voice he had come to adore brought him out of his thoughts. He hated that since he snapped at her, she never called him by his first name again.
"What?" he asked, still disoriented.
Y/n was looking at him like he was stupid. "I asked if you were ready to leave. Hyacinth already went to her room to rest. I would like to do the same. So you must make haste."
Her bossy tone almost made his lips curl into a smile, but he controlled himself in time. "Of course, wife. We shall leave now. But I have to ask, what happened between you and my sister?"
"All you need to know is that she's fine and she's a woman now. But don't worry, as your wife, I'll handle these situations. Unless you prefer me to go look at the flowers, take a walk, and do nothing?"
The hint, which was delivered with great anger, caused the man to blush in shame and lower his head. Y/n didn't wait for his answer, taking her coat from a maid and walking to the carriage. He had screwed everything up.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
A few more days had passed and the situation between Y/n and Anthony had only gotten stranger. The day after the situation with Hyacinth, Y/n was coming down from her room to go get breakfast, as she always did, when she came across Anthony at the table, appearing to be waiting for her to eat.
Y/n stopped abruptly, looking at him in shock. "What are you doing?"
"I'm waiting for you so we can have breakfast. I have to go see my brothers again today to talk business, so I was thinking you could come with me and spend some time with my sisters. My mother She's also been saying how she hasn't seen you in a while. That is, only if you want to go. If not, I'll just go… Or I'll stay here to keep you company, whatever you want." he choked up, finishing his speech by drinking some milk, perhaps to calm his nerves.
Y/n remained in place without moving. She looked at Anthony strangely, as if doubting that those words had even come out of his mouth.
"It was silly of me to ask—"
"No," she interrupted him. "It's fine. I would actually like to go and spend time with your sisters. They are lovely. I shall go get ready then."
"Aren't you going to have breakfast with me first?"
"Lord Bridgerton, I've been eating breakfast alone since we got married and I came to live with you. I think you can handle doing the same for a day. Excuse me." she said with an exaggerated smile, turning her back on him and starting to go back to her room. However, she turned back to go get a cake that was on the table. "But I'm hungry so I will eat this in my chambers."
"Call me Anthony!" he exclaimed before she was completely gone. He had a desperate look, almost looking like he needed to hear his name come out of her lips.
"No."
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Like every year, the Queen decided to throw a ball to celebrate the Diamond of the Season. The most eligible maiden on the marriage market. Y/n still remembers the first ball she attended — Daphne was the diamond of the season, but Y/n also managed to dance with a few suitors. Of course, in the end, she didn't end up marrying any of them. However, the nerves she felt at that ball were equal to or less than what she felt today: her first ball married to Anthony.
The Viscount and Viscountess had entered together, her hand resting on his arm, followed by Violet and the rest of his siblings. Tonight they would have to be on the lookout for suitors who might want to dance with Francesca, the diamond of the season.
Anthony quietly appreciated his wife. She looked breathtaking in her dress, her hair neatly tied back that showed off her majestic earrings, given by Anthony on their wedding day. He was proud to have a wife like Y/n, and he regreted that he hadn't shown it since day one.
While the Bridgertons started to go their own way, interacting with other people and dancing, Y/n preferred to stay in the corner watching the couples dancing. She longed to experience that with Anthony, but not in a forced way like some were. No, she wanted it to be felt, for them to dance to the music and really appreciate that moment.
But instead of her husband approaching her, it was another man, Earl Cavendish. Y/n remembered some moments when she had already seen him, as he was looking to get married this season. As she approached her, with a confident air, Y/n lowered her head to compliment him, "Good afternoon, Earl Cavendish."
"Lady Bridgerton, a pleasure to meet you. I must say, you look flawless. Would you give me the pleasure of dancing with me?" he extended his hand.
Y/n's eyes widened, not knowing what to do. People had already started looking at them, whispering among themselves. However, she didn't have to respond to the invitation as she felt an arm wrap around her waist and bring her closer to him.
"Excuse me, Earl Cavendish, but I want to have the pleasure of dancing with my beautiful wife first." Anthony said with his jaw clenched, looking him up and down menacingly. "I'm sure you will be able to find other ladies to dance with tonight. Just not my wife."
The two men looked at each other for a few seconds, neither of them wanting to back down. Anthony grew more and more furious, her wrists clenching and bringing Y/n even closer to him, but careful not to hurt her.
"Very well. I shall leave. I hope to see you again someday, Lady Bridgerton."
"I will —" Anthony began by exclaiming in anger as the Earl walked towards another woman, not having liked the way he looked at what was his.
"You will do nothing." the Viscountess snapped coldly. "I can't understand you, you ignore me, you treat me badly, and then you act protective when another man shows interest in me? I never said anything about you having lovers, even though I didn't like that in our marriage."
"What? I've never disrespected our marriage like that, Y/n. In the past I've done a lot of things, but since we got married the only woman I'll look at and touch is you. I don't want anyone else."
"You have a funny way of showing it." she laughed sarcastically, feeling increasingly emotional. "I have to go get some air. You should go check on Francesca again."
Feeling the cold night air, Y/n's heart began to calm down. It was so difficult having to deal with Anthony's changes of attitude, she couldn't understand him. She just wanted to be loved, and since that wasn't possible, she preferred that they stay as far away from each other as possible since being friends didn't seem to be an option either.
"I'm sorry." the voice she had come to know so well whispered behind her. Y/n refused to turn around, leaning against the balcony and taking deep breaths to control her emotions. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I know that marrying me shouldn't have been your choice either, but I was scared. I was scared to have a wife, because that meant I had another person in my life that I could lose ."
She finally had the courage to turn around and look into Anthony's brown eyes. They held back tears and showed the sadness, regret and anger that Anthony felt.
"I'm so angry with myself for the way I treated you. You deserve so much better than this. And I'm sorry I couldn't give you that. The cruel words I said to you but didn't mean. I was scared to let you in. in my heart, so I tried to push you away. Believe that all I want is to have you in my arms. To love you. To start a family with you. Please, I promise I will do better. And every day I will try to reward you for what you do.
"Lord Bridgerton—"
"Please, call me Anthony. It pains me when you call me like that. Reminds me that I was… Am so close to losing the best thing of my life. I will kneel before you and beg for forgiveness if that's what you want." he murmured with a hand over his heart, beginning to kneel on the ground without hesitation.
"There is no need for that… Anthony." she enjoyed seeing the relief and happiness that spread across his face upon hearing his first name. "I just don't understand why you didn't love me? And now you want to try to make our marriage work?"
"That's the thing, I have always loved you. I love you. My whole body, my heart, feels love for you. That has never changed." he revealed desperately. "I was a coward and didn't know how to deal with my feelings. Because they are so strong that my heart feels like it's going to come out of my chest. Please, give me another chance."
"Hmm, I don't now." The look of disappointment was so marked on Anthony's face, almost looking like he was ready to burst into tears, that Y/n stopped his suffering and showed him an amused smile, making him understand that she was joking. "I think I want you to suffer a little more to get my forgiveness."
"I will do anything for you, Y/n. Ask me the world and I will give it to you."
"Such a romantic now, aren't you?" she whispered, admiring his features.
She didn't realize their faces were so close until she felt his nose trace the delicate skin of her cheek. A gasp escaped her mouth, and Anthony took the opportunity to connect their lips in an unforgettable kiss.
Anthony pulled away quicker than he wanted, but he needed to make sure this was really what his wife wanted. "I love you."
"Kiss me again, and maybe I will also tell you that."
And what his wife wanted, he did. The two remained on the balcony, enjoying the comfort the other gave them. They still had a long way to go, but they knew that from that moment on, their lives would change drastically for the better. They had each other.
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Love finding a new angsty Dran series
The Secrets He Kept - Masterlist
You've known the Winchester family since you were very small. You love Dean, you always have and you'll do anything to help your friend no matter the cost. You've helped Dean get his singing career off the ground but now that he and his wife, Lisa have moved back to Kansas and settled into a massive property you have started to notice some changes. Can you help him without ruining your relationship?
Warnings: Heavy angst, domestic violence (male receiving), friends to lovers, slow burn, some fluff, and lots of language (but it's me so you probably knew that already). This is a multi part fic so as usual if any other warnings need to be added they will be added to each chapter. Please heed the warnings.
A/N: some of the things described in this fic come from what I witnessed through the experience a friend of our family survived with his ex. Violence at the hand of a significant other can be very hard to spot sometimes, but if you (no matter gender) are experiencing abuse please reach out. Many towns/ cities have a local group that can help you but if you don't know who to reach out locally or are concerned about privacy you can go to this website they have an option for backing out and deleting your browser history if you need the extra security. Please don't suffer alone.
Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 |
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5
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I love this so much!!!!!
twitter | instagram | tiktok | prints
Eddie Munson for Heavy Metal! ♥️
Basically the logo from metal hammer but I wasn’t really about to make my own magazine this time - so this is fine! I absolutely struggled with this piece. I really did. But I do like how it turned out. Wanted to jump on the magazine cover train for a while now.
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Omg!!! 🥰 I love this so much!! Anyone who can go toe to toe with Bucky's snark is my kind of person!!
Love in times of war
Pairing: 40s!Steve Rogers x 40s!Reader
word count: 16.1k
Summary: you meet Steve Rogers while working with Dr. Erskine.
warnings: Steve being adorable, preserum Steve, angst, fluff, badly written smut, talks of blood, needles, gunshots, Bucky being a little shit, Peggy is a bitch (if you like Peggy this is not the blog for you)
A/N: this was a wild ride. Was it necessary to write 16k not at all but I had so much fun writing it. I used some scenes from Captain America the first avenger but I don’t own the characters or marvel. Please let me know what you think and as always I appreciate the comments, likes and reblogs.
master list
Excitement was thick in the air, the expo was in full swing and men were lining up at the recruitment center in order to serve their country. You had almost been out the door after a long day of work when you were called back. It was rare that Dr. Erskine would ask you to come in if you were done for the night but the moment you stepped into his office you knew. His eyes were bright and hopeful.
“You found him.” you exclaimed once the door was shut. Leaning back against the door you looked at the older man, excited at the possibility.
“Perhaps I have. I need you now more than ever.”
“Of course, anything you need.”
“Good.” He says as he hands you a file.
“Steven Grant Rogers.” you murmur as your eyes scan the page. “Hmm, he has a long list of health issues Doc.” You look back up at him to find Erskine studying your reaction. “But you didn’t choose him because of that did you?”
“You are correct. This world needs more than good soldiers Y/N.”
“It needs good men. He seems to fit the bill, he’s tried to sign up multiple times to fight for his country. Seems like Mr. Rogers only wants to do what's right.”
“You get it and that is why I need you by my side. Go home and pack your things. We have a lot to prepare for in the coming weeks.”
***************************************************************
The next morning you had been one of the first people into Erskine’s lab. The good doctor had left you with a list of things to do the night before so you began at the top of the list. By the time you had organized the equipment he needed and redid Steve’s chart it was time to start with the regular work day.
You made your way to the exam room that had been set up and knocked on the door. When you heard the faint come in you opened the door to find Steve unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes were the prettiest blue you had ever seen but they were filled with embarrassment at his state of undress. If that wasn’t enough, the hint of pink that dusted his cheeks made him even cuter.
“Hi Mr. Rogers my name is Y/N and I’m going to be assisting Dr. Erskine. He needs me to take your vitals and some blood samples too. Is it ok if I come in now?”
“Yes, it’s alright.”
You open the door wider and close it behind you, offering him a smile before making your way to the small cabinet area in the room. Steve’s chart sits on the counter while you gather the things you’ll need to take his vitals.
“You don’t have to be nervous. Everything will turn out alright.” You say over your shoulder when you notice him fidgeting.
“What if Dr. Erskine chose the wrong person for this?”
You placed everything you needed on the small cart that was nestled in the corner of the room and dragged it closer as you thought about how to answer the question.
“I’ve been working with him for almost a year now and this is the first time he’s selected anyone.”
“So no pressure.”
You smile as you put the cuff on his arm to take his blood pressure.
“I know his story but that is for him to tell you. I can say that for the first time in a long time he feels hopeful and that is something you gave him. Which means that you’re the only choice for this project.”
After taking his pressure you make a note on his chart. As you pull on the stethoscope that was hanging around your neck to listen to his heart and then his lungs you feel his eyes on you. Steve is taking in your beauty and he’s sure you heard how his breath hitches when you move closer. But he’s almost in a trance by the beautiful color of your eyes, a color he’ll have to remember so that he can try and recreate it later. You move away from him before grabbing what you need to take blood samples and labeling them.
“How can you be so sure of that?” He asked in a hush tone.
“You’re humble for starters. With anyone else they would have puffed out their chest, proud that they’re the only one that fit the bill but you still question it. From what I read in your file you find yourself in fights quite a bit?”
“I don’t like bullies.”
“Exactly, you’re willing to fight for what’s right. You stand up against those that abuse their power and you don’t do it for the glory or anything.You know what it means to be powerless and it’s safe to say you’re compassionate. I think that’s more important than just passing all these tests. And like I said I know Erskine’s story, one you will understand with time.” you offer Steve a small smile which he returns. Before he’s able to reply another knock echoes into the small room before the door opens.
“There you are Y/N, thank you for getting the lab ready.”
“You’re welcome doc. I’m done with his vitals and blood samples.”
“Good, take them back to my lab. I have some other things to go over with Steve.” Dr. Erskine pats your shoulder.
“See you later Steve and remember what I said.” You send a wink his way as you walk out of the room. Dr. Erskine watched as you walked out and the blush that appeared on Steve’s cheeks with a smirk.
“If you hurt her I will make you disappear.”
“What- no I would never… She wouldn’t even like someone like me.”
“You don’t know that. Y/N is one of the few people I trust. She is kind, smart and selfless and are you going to deny that she is beautiful? She wants what we do, for this world to be better and the war to be over. I think she’s the only one that can choose who she likes.”
*********************************************
A few weeks have passed since you first met Steve. Now you had traveled to New Jersey to the base that was being used for basic training. They had given you a small room to set up as a makeshift office so that you could take more blood samples from Steve and some other recruits that Colonel Phillips had picked himself.
“Private Hodge.” You called out from the doorway.
“Hello sugar.” Hodge said as he walked in. You saw him look you up and down with a smirk on his lips.
“Please have a seat.”
“You like being bossy, sugar? I could get used to that.” he winks as he takes a seat on the exam table.
“Private Hodge my name isn’t sugar it’s Y/N so I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me that.”
“Oh come on I’m just teasing. I’m sure a pretty little thing like you is used to the attention.”
“I’d really prefer it if you stopped talking now. I need to take your blood pressure.”
You went down the mental list you had created, making sure to gather all of the information Dr. Erskine required. Although physically Hodge was in the running to be the first test subject, the fact that he was making you uncomfortable with not only his comments but he wouldn’t take his eyes off you was bothersome. Dr. Erskine had told you early on that he was looking for someone that was more than physically capable, he needed to find someone that was good and would stand up for what was right. The more time you worked with the doctor the more it made sense as to why Steve was the only choice.
“You’re all done, you can leave.” You informed him as you rushed to the door and opened it.
“Don’t I get a reward for being such a good patient?” Hodge had walked up to you and put a hand on your waist with the purpose of pulling you closer.
“Let me go.”
“Just a little sugar, sugar.”
Hodge pulled you closer forcing you to place your hands on his chest to try to push him away. When that didn’t work you stomped on his boot, the heel of your shoe digging into the top of his foot causing him to take a few steps back.
“You little-”
“Back off.” Steve appeared by the door and quickly stood in front of you to keep Hodge away.
“What are you going to do about it?”
Hodge was much taller and muscular then Steve. He stocked over to the blond, using his height to try and intimidate the shorter man but it didn’t work.
“No fighting allowed. If you do, you're disqualified.”
Hodge backed away from Steve with a huff and some curses under his breath. He looked over at you with a scowl on his face before heading down the hallway. You looked down before looking at Steve and moving into the room to let him in.
“Thank you, for that.” you said in a hushed voice. His hand found yours and he tugged so that you would turn towards him.
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, you got here just in time.”
“If he tries anything else you tell me, I don’t care about being disqualified.”
You smile at him before squeezing his hand lightly.
“And you doubt why you are the perfect person for this.” you motioned toward the exam table. “Let me get some items together and then we can start.”
The room sat in comfortable silence as you moved around the exam table. You could feel Steve’s eyes on you and when you looked over your shoulders your eyes would meet causing his cheeks to redden with the embarrassment of being caught. It was cute to say the least and since the first meeting you hadn’t really been able to stop thinking about him. Still in the moment you pushed your thoughts of what dating Steve would be like and focused on the task at hand. Unfortunately everything was completed quickly and there was no reason for him to stay and talk.
“Were you done for the night then?” Steve cut the silence.
“Yeah, I just need to put these things away.”
“Are you staying on base? I could walk you to your room if you’d like.”
“I would like that, thank you.” You looked up from his chart and smiled. “Let me just finish this up.”
He gave you a quick nod and walked out to wait for you in the hallway. A few minutes later you walked out, locking the door before turning to the blond that was leaning against the wall.
“Ready?” you nod at him and he starts walking with you down the long corridor.
“So what do you do for fun?”
“Oh you know the usual, get in fights in the alley, try to join the army, but mostly I like drawing and painting too.”
“So you’re an artist?”
“Something like that. How about you, what does the world’s best nurse do for fun?”
“Well I love finding good hearted men that fight bullies in alleys and then run tests on him to make sure he qualifies for super secret government experiments. Also I have a knack for befriending older scientists with accents.” You smile at Steve. “I do enjoy a good book too.”
“So what made you want to be a nurse?” Steve asked as you walked toward your room.
“My parents both worked and I had a younger brother that was sick a lot. I used to take care of him most of the time. What I really wanted to do was work in research to find a cure for one or some of his illnesses. We just didn’t have the money for school and my dad didn’t think a woman should be worrying about things like that anyways. Nursing was the next best thing and I would take what I could get. Erskine has given me a once in a lifetime opportunity by letting me work alongside him.”
“I think you’d be great at it. My ma was a nurse, I think if she had the chance she would have been a doctor.”
“What did you do before joining the army?”
“I just found work where I could get it. Not many people were willing to hire someone like me.”
You frowned slightly. The army you could understand, they needed healthy men to fill the ranks but that didn’t mean Steve wasn’t able to work.
“It’s not a big deal. I’m here now and that’s all that matters.”
“And you’ll go on to do great things, don't forget that.” You replied as you stopped in front of the room you had been given for your stay. Leaning forward you kiss Steve on the cheek causing him to once again turn a bright red. “Thank you for walking me over.”
“S’no problem. Goodnight.” He said as you walked in a grin broke out on his face as he touched the cheek you had kissed.
********************************************
The next morning had gone how every morning went while working with Erskine. Going over lab results and him teaching you a few things along the way. You cared for the older man as if he were a father and with a few little words he let you know you were like the daughter he never had. He always gave you a chance to review what he did and let you tell him your findings while correcting any mistakes you made.
As the day went on you met with Colonel Phillips out on the field. He was arguing with Dr. Erskine about who should be chosen as the first test subject. Talking about how Hodge was the best choice while putting Steve down, something you didn’t like one bit.
“Look at that, he’s making me cry.” He states as you three stop by a truck and watch the recruits doing jumping jacks, Steve doing his best to keep up.
“I am looking for qualities beyond the physical.” Erskine stated.
Phillips argued how long it took to get this project set up and how he had to basically beg some senator. You couldn’t be bothered to listen to him whining, your focus was on Steve and silently cheering him on. It’s also when you noticed a brunette who also had her eyes on Steve. She had a uniform on and you remembered that Erskine had told you about some agent from England that was also involved, maybe it was her. But you are brought back to the conversation at hand.
“He’s a bully.”
“You don’t win wars with niceness, doctor.” He moves around to the back of the truck and picks up a grenade. “You win wars with guts.” Phillip says as he pulls the pin and tosses the explosive toward the group of men.
“Grenade!”
“Move, move, move.” Hodges yells out. The men panic and run to hide behind whatever they can find. Steve however dives to cover the grenade with his body, shielding as many people as he can from the explosion.
“Get away! Get back.” he tosses the grenade away from himself. Hodge and the rest of the recruits get up again once they don’t hear it going off. A confused Steve starts looking around to see what’s going on.
“It’s a dummy grenade.” someone says.
“Is this a test?” Steve asks, first looking at the brunette before turning and finding you. A smile on your lips when your eyes meet, you give him a thumbs up.
“He’s still skinny.” you hear Phillips say. But it doesn’t matter as your attention changes from Steve to Erksine who is also smiling.
“Let’s go get everything ready, we have our candidate.” He tells you softly.
****************************
The day everyone had been waiting for finally arrived. The lab was already full, some government officials were taking their seats in the viewing room while Howard Stark was reviewing the capsule Steve would have to get into. You on the other hand were getting the serum ready as well as some other things for Dr. Erskine.
“Ready to make some history?” Howard asked as he rounded the capsule.
“Absolutely, are you?”
“Don’t tell anyone but I am a bit terrified.”
“Don’t worry Mr. Stark.”
“Please call me Howard.”
“Well don’t worry Howard, this isn’t your flying car.” you tease.
He points at you, “I’ll remember that.” he says before smiling back.
Before you could reply the double doors opened revealing Steve in his uniform and the agent from the base, Peggy Carter. Erskine walked up to them and pointed at the viewing room, Peggy left the men and headed up the stairs. Next he turned to find you and waved you over.
“Will you get him ready?” He asked once you joined them. You nod and he leaves.
“How are you feeling?” you asked Steve, who honestly looked a little terrified.
“I’m good. How are you?”
“Excited.” you beamed as you motioned for him to follow you. Once you were on the platform you turned back to him. “You’ll have to take your shirt off.”
“Oh, ok.” He unbuttons his shirt and hands it to you before removing his undershirt.
“This is Howard Stark, he’ll get you settled in.”
“Come over this way.” Howard gets Steve strapped on the table and makes sure Steve is comfortable. After getting the ok from Steve he turns to make some final checks on the capsule.
“How are your levels Mr. Stark?”
“Levels are at 100%. We may dim half the lights in brooklyn, but we are ready… as we’ll ever be.”
Erskine reassures Steve one last time before turning to the crowd watching above and giving some kind of speech. You moved to take the serum from the case they were in and place them in their in the machine Steve was in. Once you were done Steve grabbed your hand, sending a worried look your way.
“Everything will be fine. You’re the right choice Steve.” you squeeze his hand and smile at him before stepping away to grab a syringe. With a cotton swab and alcohol you clean a spot in his arm. “You’ll just feel a pinch.” you say before giving him the shot.
“Oh, that wasn’t so bad.”
“That was penicillin.” Erskine informs him, making you giggle. “Serum infusion beginning in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.” The sound of the tubes draining can be heard and Steve grimaces. “Now Mr. Stark.”
The capsule closes and moves to an upright position, the doctor checks on Steve one more time before Howard begins to turn up the power on it. The anticipation builds slowly and you feel your heart pounding in your chest as you watch. The light from inside gets brighter but Steve starts to scream as Howard announces that power is at 70%.
“Steven!” Erskine shouts as he tries to look into the small window. “Steven!”
From above you can also hear Peggy yell. “Shut it down!’
Erskine moves and starts shouting instructions at Howard. But you’re still stuck in your spot until you hear him say to shut it off.
“No. He can do it.”
“No, don’t. I can do this.”
Both you and Steve yell at the same time. Causing Howard to move back to the dial and keep going. The light gets even brighter as Howard announces 80%, 90% and finally 100%. His circuit board lights up, everything around short circuits. Erskine stands next to you in front of the pod waiting with bated breath as the doors finally open revealing a much taller and muscular Steve. He slumps forward and you and Erskine quickly move forward to catch him.
“How do you feel?” You ask as he stands up, taking a few deep breaths.
“Taller.” you smile up at him while another nurse passes him a t-shirt.
Everyone from the viewing room comes down, all of them talking over each other and exchanging congratulations. Peggy heads toward Steve and begins to talk with him when someone shouts and a gun is fired, taking Erskine down. You rush over and put pressure on the wound but from where it hit you know it’s fatal. Steve is there in an instant as you try to hold back the tears. The older man looks at you and points to your head and then looks at Steve and points to his heart before taking his last breath.
“No no no.” Your bottom lip trembles as you take the older man’s hand in your own.
Steve runs out of the room chasing the man that had killed your friend and mentor. Howard moved towards you to try and move you away from Erskine’s body when an explosion rocked the building filling the room with fire and smoke. Howard pulls you as everyone begins to run out of the lab.
***********************************
There was a huge commotion out in the hallway. Everyone ran around frantically trying to figure out how they were going to deal with the loss of the formula for the serum. No one cared for the life that paid the price, there was no grieving the great man that was Abraham Erskine. Even with his flaws and mistakes of the past weighing him down he still dreamt of a better future. It was a shame that he wouldn’t be there to watch it happen.
You sat in his office, where Howard led you to as he tried to talk with the colonel and the other government officials that were demanding he replicate the formula immediately. The noise grew louder for a moment before it was muffled once again behind the closed door. Your once white nurses uniform was now stained with blood, ash and tears while your hair fell out of the updo you had. The ringing in your ears gradually stopped the longer you sat there. None of it mattered because you had witnessed the worst thing imaginable, the loss of a friend at the hands of someone else. Too lost in thought you missed the footsteps getting closer to you, only when Steve crouched down in front of you did you realize you weren’t alone anymore. He was soaking wet and the white t-shirt he wore clung to his now muscular frame. One of his hands came up to your face gingerly and wiped away the tears that still fell while the other grabbed one of yours that was on your lap.
“I’m so sorry Y/N.” He said, his voice soft and comforting.
“Did you get him?”
“I did but he didn’t make it.”
You nodded but you barely looked at him, instead you stood and began to organize the files on Erskine’s desk. He had so much research and he’d let you go over all of it. He even gave you your own projects to work on so that you could gain the experience necessary for the field. Now being in his office those memories washed over you causing the ache in your chest to expand. It was all consuming and you didn’t know how to handle it. Sure you’ve lost people you cared about but they passed from natural causes. This was different, he had supported you more than your own father and now it was over. You tried to put your focus on the papers that were everywhere and chalkboards filled with his ideas and formulas and you began to get angry.
“Why does he have to be so messy?” You say as you slam a file down. “I was here yesterday and organized all of this, couldn’t he keep things in order for one damn day.” You complained as you sniffled. Steve stood there watching you for a moment before reaching out and stopping your movements.
He turned you around and pulled you into his chest, letting you cry as much as you wanted. In this moment Steve wished more than anything that he could turn back time and stop what happened. Once you calmed down enough the recently turned super soldier pulled back to look down at you. He reaches up to wipe away the tears.
“We’ll find the others that were involved and we’ll make them pay, I promise”.
“I’m sorry for… this.” You gestured at yourself vaguely.
“No need to be sorry sweetheart.” He gave you a chaste kiss on the forehead. Something he’s wanted to do since that night at the base. You look up at him with red rimmed eyes and give him a sad smile. The door opens and in walks Colonel Phillips and at least a dozen men. They begin to pack all of Erskine’s things.
“Hey, you can’t take that.” You argue as you pull some files away from one of them.
“Of course he can, this is government property. I’m sorry Miss but you’ll have to leave you no longer have any business being here, and you.” He points at Steve. “We have a special mission for you.” With that he walks out leaving you both frozen in place as the men work around both of you.
“Give them hell.” You tell him.
“I intend to.”
You gave Steve a final hug and a request to keep in touch before you watched him walk out of the door. He looked at you one final time before he disappeared. It would be months before you would see him again.
***********************************
Colonel Phillips screwed you over big time, he made sure you wouldn’t be able to sign up with the nurse corp. He stated that since you worked with Erskine it made you a target if anyone found out so really he was saving your life. Without much to do in New York you had decided to visit your aunt in Chicago to try and get away for a little bit. It ended up being a wasted trip as your aunt and new husband were headed to California a few days after you arrived but still they offered you to stay and house sit for them.
While walking down the city streets one day you saw a flier with a very familiar looking man on it. It had your blood boiling at the thought that this was Steve’s mission. Phillips really was an idiot in your opinion, you ripped the flier from the wall and headed in the direction of this supposed show. Although you were angry that Erskine’s work was being wasted you couldn’t help but be a little relieved that Steve was safe. It’s not that you had spent so much time together but you adored him. The few times you did spend together he was a gentleman and kind. You still regret not inviting him into your room that night at the base but it was too late for that now. The little hopes you had to see him were dashed by the time you got there it was over. You had tried to ask where the performers were staying but no one would give you an answer so feeling defeated you headed out of the theater. You took off in the direction of your aunt’s home, your eyes still on the flier when you ran into someone.
“I’m sorry.” You both said at the same time.
“Steve?” You say when you look up. Your eyes were wide and your mouth agape.
“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked as he wrapped you in a hug which you returned.
“I came to see you but I missed the show.”
“You came to Chicago to see me?” He looked down at you, it was still fascinating to you how much the serum had changed him physically. That was something else you are angry about, Phillips didn’t give you a chance to take notes after the serum had been administered to have information before and after.
“No, I came to Chicago to see an aunt, I saw the flier and thought it was you so I wanted to see it for myself.”
He nodded as he scratched the back of his neck, you saw the embarrassment in his face but you needed to know what happened.
“Steve, why are you doing this?”
He sighed as he looked around and then at you. Steve felt like a failure every time he had to get up on that stage. He thought of Erskine and you and all of the work you had done. Mostly he thought about how much you believed in him and how he had let you down.
“Would you like to get some coffee or something and we can talk?”
“Yeah.”
He offered you his arm before leading you down the block. If the world wasn’t in the middle of a war and you didn’t feel at least slightly lost you would say that this was nice. Being on Steve’s arm felt natural and in all honesty you had missed him.
Once you found a diner a few blocks down from the theater you took a booth toward the back. The waitress came by and took your drink orders and left.
“So…” you said as you looked at him. You couldn’t help yourself and you studied his face, taking mental notes of the changes in his appearance. His hair, although combed up and back so that it was out of his face, seemed healthier and his cheeks held a healthy rosy tint along with his eyes which sparkled brighter.
“So.” He looked at you bracing himself for the disappointment he was sure to see on your face. “After that day I left with Phillips thinking he would send me overseas but he said he needed an army of super soldiers not just one man. He thought it would be more useful if I did the show to sell war bonds. It’s honestly embarrassing, I could be doing so much more if he would just let me go over there. I feel I’m back at square one except I don’t have asthma anymore.”
“He basically blacklisted me from the nurse corp. said that by helping Erskine I put a target on my back and if they found out and I was taken, he wouldn't bother to send anyone to get me.”
The waitress set Steve’s coffee down and your milkshake before leaving your table again.
“It seems he doesn’t really like either of us.”
“I’m going to reach out again, someone will listen. I didn’t volunteer for this to be stuck fake punching Hitler.”
You laughed at the image and then he started laughing too. When you quieted down you sighed and looked out the window.
“What are you thinking about?”
“How upset Erskine would be if he knew. How much I want to make those bastards pay and how much I missed you.”
Steve reached out and gently grabbed your hand, his thumb moving back and forth over your knuckles. “I’ve thought about you every single day.” He gives you a coy smile. “Come on, let’s enjoy the city while we can.”
Steve stood up and dropped a couple of bills before offering you his hand, which you took happily.
You walk around the city, sometimes in silence and taking it all in but mostly getting to know each other. He tells you more about his childhood and his best friend Bucky. You tell him more about your younger brother and your own best friend. But as it gets darker you know you have to part and the thought of not seeing him again saddens you. Before you realize it you’re standing on the front porch of your aunt’s house, the key in your hand while Steve stands behind you waiting for you to open the door and go in. Neither of you really want this night to end but he’s leaving for another city in the morning and you’ll have to start packing to return back home.
The soft click of the lock echoes in the silence between you and you push the door open before turning to look at Steve. He gave you a half smile, his eyes never leaving yours.
“So.” You both said at the same time making you both smile.
“I guess this is it.” He said.
“I guess so.”
Steve walked closer and placed a hand on your waist while the other cupped your cheek. Your own rested against his chest as you looked up at him.
“I’d really like to kiss you.”
“I’d really like it if you did.”
Steve moved until his lips were barely touching, still giving you the chance to back away. Instead you closed the small distance as your lips crashed against his. They were soft as they moved against yours, a sweet dance that turned passionate. You felt Steve’s hand move from your cheek to your neck so that he could deepen the kiss. His tongue explored your mouth as you moaned. But all too quickly he pulled back and cleared his throat. There was a blush creeping up on his cheeks and you smiled at him.
“Would you like a drink?”
“I should head back, we leave early.” His hands in his pocket.
“Of course.” You say. “Take care of yourself Steve.”
“You too. Maybe I can come find you back in New York once this is all over?”
“I’d like that.” You smile at him again. “Bye Steve.” You say before walking into the house and closing the door.
“Goodbye sweetheart.” He said to himself when he saw the light turn on.
You leaned against the door and wished he’d come in. The thought of him leaving again was going to hurt so much more the second time around. Turning back around you opened the door hoping that he wasn’t too far. Instead you find him walking up toward the porch. Steve stops in front of the steps and looks up at you. Your body, perfectly silhouetted against the light in of the living room. Slowly you walked out and down two of the three steps and found yourself eye level with Steve.
“Is that drink still on the table?”
“For you it is.” You grabbed his hand and led him inside.
Once the door was closed Steve pulled you close and turned you around to push you against the door. His lips crashed into yours, it was messy and hurried and perfect. Your arms found their way around his broad shoulders. Steve left a myriad of kisses on your cheek and jaw and onto your neck, he nipped and kissed his way down to the collar of your dress. You grabbed his face and pulled him in for another kiss, this one slow but just as needy. Once you pulled back you patted Steve on the chest twice so that he would move back.
“We should maybe move away from the living room.” You smiled as you grabbed his hand and pulled him toward your room.
Steve stands in the doorway, wanting to get closer to you again but still giving you a chance to stop. But you don’t want to stop, instead your hands reach for the belt that sits at your waist, made of the same fabric as your dress, and you pull on it. Then you start to undo the first button, your hands moving slowly as you keep your eyes on Steve. Arching one eyebrow at him.
“Are you going to stand there all night?”
Your question seemed to have pulled him back into the moment as he closed the gap between the both of you. His hands fall to your waist before pulling you closer.
“Are you sure?”
“You’re the only thing I’m sure about Steve.”
His lips are on yours in a flash and he swallows the small gasp you let out in surprise. Steve’s hands move from your waist to the front of your dress to undo a few more buttons before he pushes it off your shoulders. Once the dress hits the floor you step out of it, Steve’s hands are on your hips.
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers as he picks you up, walks over to the bed and sets you down. Steve’s eyes drag from top to bottom making your cheeks heat up and you realize how exposed you are to him at the moment.
You push the leather jacket he’s wearing off his shoulders before starting to unbutton his shirt. Once he’s shirtless Steve hovers over you, slightly unsure of what to do next. The feel of your hands on his bare skin makes him shudder. He would never admit at how many times he fantasized of this exact moment, or if you would ever even look at him as more than some science experiment. Steve could question your affection as much as he wanted but he knew you cared way before he ever received the serum. It was always there in the way you looked at him and the way you believed in him unconditionally. No one other than his ma and Bucky looked past the physical limitations but you did. Even now when your lips found their way to his jaw and your hands explored his body you showed him how much you wanted him. So he moved to make sure you felt how much you mean to him.
Steve’s touch was gentle but lit your skin aflame as he moved from your waist to your back to undo your bra. Your lips met his, moving in sync as your tongues fight for dominance. The feel of his hands on your breasts and the way his mouth moved down to explore your exposed chest. Steve kept his lust blown eyes on your face as his tongue swirled around your nipple. A small gasp escapes you as your hips buck against him. Your breath hitches as you feel Steve move down leaving kisses in his wake, for a moment he stops on the band of your panties.
Those piercing blue eyes meet yours, his hands on your hips as he asks, “Can I taste you?” He hoped you didn’t hear the nervousness he felt, this was all new to him. Anything he knew was from when Bucky talked about it he just hoped that he remembered enough to make you feel good.
“Yes.” The thought of him between your legs alone was enough to make you wet but this would be so much better. Steve slowly pulls down your panties and tosses them to the side. He leaves a trail of kisses up your calves then your thighs until he’s settled comfortably between them. He didn’t hesitate to swipe his tongue through your folds, an action that had him groaning and you bucking your hips. Steve took his time, finding what made your breath hitch just from him using his mouth so that he could do it over and over again. His tongue flicks against your clit causing you to mewl. Your hands find their way to his hair, pulling it as you begin to feel your orgasm build.
“Steve,” You say as you feel him carefully slide a finger into your heat. Slowly he builds his pace before adding a second finger. The moan that leaves your lips when he curls his fingers is like music to his ears, and he wants to hear more. The feeling of you clenching around his fingers urges him to keep going. Steve works tongue over your clit before sealing his lips around the bundle of nerves. Your legs tremble and that coil in your belly tightens until it snaps. “I’m gonna-” you cut yourself off with a moan, your head thrown back and your eyes closed as your orgasm washes over you.
You feel Steve move some hair out of your face and you smile as you open your eyes.
“Was that ok?”
You nod before pulling him down for a kiss and tasting yourself on his lips. Your hands travel down his body until you reach his trousers where you feel his hardened length. You’ve never been with a man before but you’re a nurse so that body part isn’t as foreign for you as it is for most women and one thing you know is that he’s big. But you don’t waste your time thinking about if he’ll fit, your fingers working quickly to undo the button but before you get to the zipper he stops you.
“We don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want to.”
You smile up at him, of course he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. “Of course I want to be with you Steve, I want everything with you.”
He smiles down at you, his eyes bright and full of adoration and lust and his kiss swollen lips meet yours again as he lets go of your hand. The zipper is pulled down and you push down his pants before Steve kicks them off. The blonde begins to settle between your legs again before he pulls back and turns around asking for you to give him a second. You’re about to ask him if he’s ok before he bends down to grab his pants, pulling something out of his pocket. He holds it between two fingers, a condom. You sit up and move towards him, your chest pressed against his back as you kneel behind him you look over his shoulder. Grabbing it you rip open the condom, Steve turns his head to look at you confused at what you’re doing before he feels your hand on his cock. The tip already has a bead of precum as you move your thumb over it before you move up and down slowly. His breath gets caught in his throat as you move slightly faster. He wraps his hand around your wrist.
“Sweetheart, I don’t think I’ll last if you keep going.” He whispers before letting your wrist go. You kiss his cheek before moving to put the condom on and then moving back to the bed letting him settle back down between your spread legs. “Are you sure?” He asks one more time. His breath fanning across your lips as he hovers over you.
“Yes Steve, I’m sure. Please, I need to feel you.”
You share a tender kiss as Steve lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in slowly. Once he bottoms out he rests his forehead against yours as he gives you time to adjust to his size. You feel so full with him even though there’s a little bit of pain. But you manage as you stare into those cerulean eyes that had burned themselves into your memory.
“Did you mean it?”
“What?” You ask as you hold on to his biceps.
“That you want everything with me. Because I’ll give you everything and anything you ask for.”
“I did, I want you.”
His lips capture yours again as he begins to move languidly. The pain quickly morphed into pleasure the more you relaxed . Your back arches into him before you start to move against him. Steve picks up the pace as the pretty little sounds you make spur him on. He hides his face in the crook of your neck while his hands find yours, fingers intertwined above your head.
“So good Steve.” You moan as you throw your head back in pleasure. You’re on the edge again and Steve groans when you clench around him.
Steve never thought he’d get a chance to be this intimate with a woman but now he’s glad it’s you. He’ll memorize the sounds you make, the blissed out look on your face, the way you chant his name like a prayer and the way you hold him close. Remembering how you came undone with his mouth on your clit, one of his hands snakes between both your bodies as he begins to circle where you want him most. The added stimulation has you falling off the edge with his name on your lips and your eyes closed.
“Fuck you feel so good sweetheart.” He mutters as his pace becomes uneven. A few more thrusts has him spilling into the condom.
Giving your hand a squeeze, Steve let’s go before shifting slightly and pulling out slowly.
He peppers your face with kisses before moving to lay down beside you. After a few minutes you sit up and start to move towards the edge of the bed.
“Hey where are you going?” He asks, concerned.
“I’m going to Um- clean up.”
“Don’t, stay here.” He gets up and removes the condom he used. Steve comes back with a hand towel soaked in warm water. He places a kiss on your forehead as the towel disappears under the blanket you were now covering yourself with.
At the sensation of the towel between your legs you hiss and he stops.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No, I’m just a bit sensitive right now.” You move your hand to his and guide him on what to do. He discards the towel in the small laundry basket you have in the corner and gets back into bed holding his arms open for you to snuggle into him.
Neither of you get much sleep, instead you enjoy each other’s company in comfortable silence. Time betrayed you, before you knew it Steve had to leave so that he could head to the next city on the U.S.O tour.
“I wish you didn’t have to go.” You tell him when he gets up and starts getting dressed.
“I wish I didn’t either.” He sits at the edge of the bed with his trousers and shoes on turning to look at you. It was a mistake because Steve finds a little pout and big doe eyes looking at him. “I’ll find you back in New York alright?”
“You promise?” You mentally curse yourself for sounding so insecure but you were in a very vulnerable position at the moment. Steve had been your first and you had been his. Now you wouldn’t be sure how long it would be before you saw him again.
“Of course I promise. I can’t leave my best girl waiting.”
He pulls a small smile from you with that. Steve leans in to steal a quick kiss and then proceeds to put on his shoes and his shirt followed by his jacket.
“Promise me you’ll be careful on your way back home.”
“I will.” You had grabbed your robe and tied it around your waist so that you could walk Steve out.
His hands sit on your hips as he looks at you fondly.
“I’ll see you soon, I swear.”
“I know.” You stand on your toes to reach his lips, kissing him passionately before pulling away from both the kiss and him. Already missing his warmth you unlock the door and open it for him. Steve leaves a chaste kiss on your forehead before stepping out onto the porch.
“I’ll see you soon sweetheart.”
“Take care of yourself.” You wave him off and watch him disappear before closing the door. Little did you know you would see him sooner than you would think.
****************************
Even with the limited times you’ve been on a plane you could definitely say this was the worst flight of your life. The turbulence was awful and you were sure that your grip on the armrests would break them if you had any real strength. But when Howard found you at the hospital you worked at and offered you a job that would take you overseas you jumped at the chance. Now here you sat getting ready to land in the worst plane ever made just so that you could help in the war efforts.
“How was the trip?” You’re greeted by a smiling Howard once you were able to get out of the plane.
“I’m never getting on one of your planes again Howard.” you glared at him before smiling.
“Oh come on it couldn’t have been so bad if you’re standing here.”
He moved around and grabbed your suitcase as some of the other cargo was pulled out of the plane.
“It really was. But I’m here in one piece and that’s all that matters. Now are you going to tell me what I’m meant to be doing? I know Colonel Phillips couldn’t have agreed to have me here.”
“He doesn’t really know, but that doesn’t matter because you are here as my assistant.” He offers you his arm considering the ground was uneven before leading you into the building. Howard dropped off your suitcase in his office before leading you into the main room of the building. The tension in the room was palpable as military personnel worked with urgency setting up maps and rearranging desks. Orders were being barked at the other end of the room by an all too familiar voice. There was a group of men huddled over one particular map which is where Howard was walking before he stopped. You looked at him to find him scanning the room, he stopped a pretty blond and asked for the captain. She directed him toward a corner of the room that had some shelves filled with boxes and documents.
“This way.” Howard said with childlike glee. It was slightly contagious and you found yourself smiling at whatever it was you were being led to. A smile that slipped when you saw Steve walking from behind one of the shelves in his uniform, but that’s not what upset you, it was the red lipstick on his lips and the woman that walked out beside him. You made eye contact with Peggy first, a smirk on her face as her hand found Steve’s. He hadn’t seen you yet, instead he was wiping away the lipstick and when he felt Peggy grab his hand he pulled away.
“What was that for?” He questioned her but he didn’t wait for an answer as he looked up at her and followed her line of sight, to find you standing next to Howard. He cursed under his breath when he saw the way your eyes shone with unshed tears. Howard whispered something in your ear and you turned to walk away. “Y/N?” Steve moved to follow you to explain what happened but he was stopped by the man that brought you here.
“Give her a minute.”
“What is she even doing here Stark?”
“I need an assistant, the Commandos need a nurse and this division needs someone that can figure out what Hydra is doing. She was the person closest to Erskine and his research. If anyone can figure out what they’re doing it’s her.”
“If she gets hurt because of you I’ll end you.”
“If you must.”
Steve shakes his head as he walks past Howard to try and find you.
“My office, Rogers.” Howard says over his shoulder before he turns back to look at the Brunette across from him. A scowl on her face when their eyes meet. “What the hell was that Carter?”
“None of your business.”
“You know how much she means to him and that I was bringing her into this. Did you do that just because he refused your advances?”
Peggy squared her shoulders and she started to walk away. “Who cares that she was there when he was small and weak, he isn’t anymore. He doesn’t realize that he can do so much better.”
Howard shakes his head before moving to his lab and where he told you to meet him at. He knew Steve would look for you so he told him to go to his private office to at least give you a few extra minutes. When he walked through the double doors he found you looking over some of Erskine’s documents, the ones that had been taken the day he was murdered. The saddened expression on your face warns him to give you some time alone, not only because of what you saw involving Steve and Peggy but because of what you were going over currently. It was like holding onto the last piece of the man that had given you a chance, one you thought had died with him that day, but here you are and you’re going to make it count.
You saw Steve out of the corner of your eye cautiously approach the desk you were sitting at. He cleared his throat in order to get your attention but you ignored him. It hurt to have missed him so much only to see him with someone else. Whatever excuse he had ready could wait, you weren’t here for romance, you were here to help end a war. It seemed however that Steve didn’t get the memo as he hovered beside you with his hands behind his back. You kept stealing glances at him and your resolve was slowly crumbling as you saw how handsome he looked in his uniform and how upset he looked at the fact that you were ignoring him.
Steve had enough of being ignored so he crouched down and swiveled your chair around so you had no choice but to look at him. Your eyes met his for a moment before you looked away, trying not to imagine him and Peggy kissing.
“Sweetheart,”
“Don’t call me that.” you huff.
“What else am I supposed to call my best girl?”
“Am I?” you fidget with a piece of thread that had been pulled from your shirt to try and keep your hands busy.
“Of course you are. Peggy just grabbed me and the moment she kissed me I pulled away.” His large hands envelope yours as he tilts his head to get a better look at you. “You gotta believe me Sweetheart. There’s no one I wanna kiss except you.”
“I guess, I could think about forgiving you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, but only because I missed you.” His eyes sparkle even against the ill lit room when you look back at him. Leaning forward your lips grace his before you ask, “It didn’t mean anything right?”
“Absolutely not.” His lips capture yours, reminding you of the softness of not only his lips but of the man that’s before you. Steve could be rough if he wanted to but instead he was gentle and sweet and this kiss was proof. He smirked when you pulled back, trying to catch your breath. Now his lips were stained with your own lipstick and his hands remained on yours, neither of you aware of the woman that watched it unfold.
****************************************************
“What about this one?” Steve grabbed a circular shield discarded by Howard as he was showing Steve the design for his Captain America uniform. He looked at you and held it in front of him and asked, “What do you think?”
“Let’s see.” Peggy, who had been walking by stopped, grabbed a gun that was on the table. To your horror she pointed the gun at Steve and fired it three times, all three bullets hitting the shield and then the floor. “Seems like it works.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” You fumed behind her, she only shrugged in your direction.
“I was only testing the quality of the shield.”
“You don’t do that while someone is holding it.”
“He’ll live.” she scoffs and walks away.
Steve handed the shield to Howard confirming that it was the one he wanted to use. Making his way over to you, Steve grabs your chin so that you can see that he’s ok.
“Hey, I’m fine. Really.”
“That’s not the point. She’s been nothing but a bitch since I got here. And now she’s being reckless.” You scowl.
“It’s only for a couple of more days. We’ll be heading out soon enough. Now do you have a few minutes there’s someone I want you to meet.”
“Yeah, lead the way my Captain.”
Steve led you down the main corridor toward what everyone referred to as the war room. It’s where the higher ups meet to make plans on where to go next. He opened the door to let you in first before walking in behind you. You found a group of men sitting around a map, none of them bothered to look up since someone was always coming and going from the room. There was a mixture of laughter and loud conversation happening amongst them.
“Hey fellas, there’s someone I would like you to meet.” The room fell quiet as all eyes fell on you and Steve, but mostly you. “This is Y/N, she’s going to be with us on the field. She’ll be acting as our nurse but also working with Stark to figure out what hydra is trying to do.”
Steve introduces each of the men. Dugan, Jones, Morita, Falsworth and Dernier all were part of the Howling Commandos.
“And this is Sergeant Barnes.” Steve beams at the brunette who has a smirk on his face. “My second in command and my best friend.”
“You’re Bucky?” Your eyes light up.
“I sure am darling. It’s nice to finally meet you in person, thought for a minute this punk was making you up.”
You giggle when you look back at Steve, finding him as red as a tomato due to his friend’s words.
“Well it’s nice to meet you too. I demand you tell me all of Steve’s embarrassing stories.”
“Oh I’ve got plenty.” he gives Steve a shit eating grin. “I like her already.”
Steve grumbles under his breath something about being ganged up on by his girl and his friend before he starts ushering you out of the room.
“Oh before I forget.” you stop and turn around to look at the men. “I’ll need you to come by Howard’s office first thing tomorrow, I would like to complete a check up on all of you so that I can have a baseline of where you are health wise.”
“Yes ma’am.” they reply before waving you off.
**************************************
You’d spent the day in your corner of the lab going over test results for the commandos. They were healthy enough considering they were in the middle of a war and about to head into dangerous missions. But right now you were looking for one person in particular. After searching the base you finally head outside to find Bucky lying down and hiding behind some bushes.
“What are you doing?” He jumps at the sound of your voice.
“You shouldn’t go scaring someone that’s holding a gun darling.” He said as he rolled on to his side. At the look of concern on your face he sits up. “What’s wrong?”
“I need to take your blood again.”
“Is something wrong? Am I sick? I don’t feel sick.”
“No nothing like that but I’d rather double check with a newer sample before I say anything.”
“Alright well let’s go I guess.”
He stands up, grabbing his gun and starts to follow you.
“So what were you doing?”
“Target practice. Just trying to stay sharp, you know.”
You hum in understanding. Stopping once in a while to let other people walk by the large field.
“Steve’s crazy about you, ya know.” Bucky says after a beat of silence. “I don’t think I’ve seen him this happy before.”
“I’m crazy about him too.” Warmth creeps up to your cheeks at the thought of Steve.
“Good, just please don’t hurt him. He’s a good man and an even better friend. Also he’s talked my ear off because he’s so smitten by you. I really wouldn’t want to deal with a heartbroken Steve.”
You laugh just as you spot Steve in the distance, walking toward both of you. “I don’t plan on hurting him one bit.” You say before the blond stops in front of you.
“Is everything ok?” He asks with his hands on his hips.
“Yeah I’m just going to rerun some tests on Bucky. I’ll meet you at the lab.” You tell Bucky before stealing a kiss from Steve.
He watches you leave with a dusting of pink on his cheek.
“Jesus, could you at least not make it so obvious you’re ogling her.”
“I’m not. Just making sure she gets in the building safely.”
“Yeah sure. Nothing to do with imagining all the dirty things you’d -“ Steve’s hand clamps over Bucky’s mouth to shut him up.
“Don’t talk about my girl like that jerk.”
“Sir, yes sir.” He gives a quick salute before laughing. “You hurt her though and I'll kick your ass punk.”
“I’m not planning on it.”
•••••••••••
After running some tests again you confirmed your suspicions. Quickly you went back to find Buck and Steve. Fortunately you find them with Howard this time. With as much as you trusted Stark this was a sensitive matter so you pulled both men into an office so that the conversation was private.
“Bucky, do you remember what they did to you when you were held?” You ask seriously.
“It’s a bit fuzzy but I remember being on an operating table or something. That’s where Steve found me.”
“Anything other than that. No needles or syringes or medicine?”
“Sweetheart what’s going on?”
“I do remember being strapped to a chair and someone putting a needle in my arm but I couldn’t really see what they were doing.”
It’s what you feared and the panicked look on Bucky’s face wasn’t helping.
“I know what Hydra is doing, or partially anyways. They’re trying to recreate Erskine’s serum.” You look between both of them.
“Wait, so what you’re saying is that Bucky also has the serum?”
You take a deep breath as you try to gather your thoughts.��
“Yes and no. He has a version of the serum but not the same one as you. It’s missing components. So while Bucky is now stronger and more agile it’s not at the same level as you are.”
“Is that why I can’t get drunk?” Bucky asked, stunned at the news.
“Most likely. Now I can fix it but it will take a bit of time.”
“You can get rid of the serum?” Steve frowned at the possibility.
“No but I can create an altered version with the missing components so that you have the full effects. What do you say?” You anxiously wait for his answer. It’s a bit of a shot in the dark but why not have two super soldiers instead of one.
“Do it.”
“Ok, I’ll let you know when I have it ready. Also it’s better if we keep this between ourselves for now.”
Both men nod as you leave the office. Steve eyes Bucky worriedly.
“Stop staring, didn’t your Ma teach you it’s rude.” Bucky huffs. “I’m fine, I have been for weeks now. Besides, I'm in your girl’s very capable hands.”
“You’re right. Let's finish prepping for the first mission.”
***********************
The first mission had been a success. The commandos managed to clear out another weapons manufacturing factory for hydra. While most of them helped Stark look over some of the weapons, you had worked your way through the offices trying to find any information that might give you more insight as to how far along they are with the serum. You knew they had something already based on Bucky’s lab results but it wasn’t the full picture.
There were abandoned desks everywhere but you focused on offices. The higher ups in the organization would be the ones to have any important information. Time slipped away from you as you found some interesting leads but nothing on the serum.
“There you are.” Steve’s voice broke the silence. You only hummed in acknowledgment. “What are you up to?” He asked as he rounded the corner and began to look over your shoulder. “This is all in German. Can you read it?”
“Yeah, when I was younger my neighbor used to watch me and my brother and she barely spoke English. We were young enough to learn German without realizing it.”
“Ok, well we’re moving out in 5.” Steve smiles as he places a chaste kiss at the top of your head.
“I’m done here anyways. Nothing for me but I did find some leads for you.” You stood as you handed him a notebook with a map tucked into it.
“I’ll take all the help I can get.”
“Really?” You asked, giving him a mischievous look. With every step you took forward he took one back until he was pressed between your body and the wall. An amused look gracing his face.
“Have I told you how good you look in this uniform?”
He shakes his head, the hint of pink disappearing under the cowl he was wearing.
“Well you do. Very handsome… maybe I can take it off sometime.” Your hands found their place on Steve’s chest as you reached up to kiss him.
“Whenever you two are done in there we’re ready to leave.” Bucky’s voice rang out. Immediately you went to the door and stuck your head out glaring at him.
“Spoilsport.”
“You love me!” He winks at you before heading back outside.
“No I don’t.” You shout after him.
Steve stood at the door watching the interaction with a smile on his face.
“We should go,” he lowers his head so that he can whisper in your ear. “But trust me that I’ll let you take anything you want off of me sweetheart.”
•••••••••••••••
As the night went on the commandos found shelter in an abandoned cabin. Dugan and Morita were first to take watch as the rest settled inside. The fireplace was being used and everyone took a corner so that they could rest. You sat on the floor by a window, writing in your notebook as you worked on a modified version of the serum for Bucky.
“What are you working on?” Steve asked as he sat next to you.
“Research.” You looked from him to Bucky who was adding some logs to the fire. A silent understanding passed between you.
After a few more minutes of writing you put your notebook away in the pack you carried with you. You laid your head on Steve’s shoulder and sighed, tired from the day’s events.
“Go to sleep sweetheart. I’m right here.”
“What about you?” A yawn escapes you.
“I’ll be fine, I’ll nap in a little bit.”
“Ok.” You said with your eyes already closed. You felt Steve place a kiss on the top of your head before drifting off to sleep.
***************************
The next few months were the same. Bring down a hydra base, research and move on. It was a uniquely devastating situation to be in. There were many times in which you were close to losing one or several of the commandos during those missions. Fortunately your medical pack was always stocked and if it wasn’t hydra bases had the medical supplies you needed.
On one occasion, which caused yours and Steve’s first fight, you almost lost Falsworth after a group of hydra soldiers cornered him. He had been shot twice and although you were supposed to wait until you got the all clear from Steve to come down, you knew he wouldn’t hold on that long. So you move from your hiding spot, running for cover in between tanks and crates until you get to the fallen commando. You open your bag immediately and begin to look for what you’ll need.
“Ok Falsworth I’m going to move your shirt.” You say as you grab the hem and pull up. He winces between ragged breaths.
“Yo-you shouldn’t.” He groans as you touch the entry points to clean the area. “Be here. Rogers, he-he’ll be mad.”
“And that will be my problem when the time comes, but I’m not gonna let you die out here.”
There’s an explosion somewhere behind you and gunfire picks up.
“Behind you.” Falsworth warns and you turn in time to see hydra soldiers, guns drawn and headed towards you.
“Shit.”
You jump over Falsworth and grab his gun. Turning, you aim and fire, taking down one soldier. Another one falls as you shoot the third. Dropping the gun you turn back to your patient and work quickly, removing the bullets before stitching him up.
“Well look at that, it seems like you’ll live another day.” Dugan said as he approached. It’s when you realized the gunfire had ceased. Dugan helps Falsworth up.
“He’ll need rest for a couple of days but he should be good.” You tell Dugan, “I’ll keep an eye on the healing to make sure you don't get an infection.”
Dugan pulled Falsworth with him and you kneeled to grab your medical bag from the floor. Two sets of footsteps approached as you finished grabbing your tools and putting them back in your bag.
“What were you thinking? You can’t just run down into the field like that.” Steve said sternly when he stopped in front of you.
“I was thinking that I was going to help someone that was hurt. A fellow soldier and a friend.” You looked at him, he was staring at you with a mixture of worry and anger. Bucky, who was standing beside him, was slightly amused although you could tell he had also been worried. “Thank you for the back up Buck.”
“You’re welcome darling.”
“That was dangerous and reckless.”
Bucky took a few steps back until he was able to sneak away from the impending lover’s quarrel. You moved around Steve to head towards the now abandoned building.
“That’s rich coming from you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means.” You stopped and turned around to find Steve right behind you. “You’re reckless all the time.”
“It’s my job.”
“And it’s mine too. We’re in the middle of the war. It's dangerous all the time and I wasn’t going to let someone die if I can help them.”
Steve put his hands on his hips and sighed. He knew you were right but just the thought of losing you scared him. You gave him hope for a future he thought he would never have and as long as you were both in the middle of this war there was a chance that he could lose it. Ever since you came into his life, especially after Chicago, he began to dream of settling down and having a family. Steve wanted everything with you but he also knew that you wanted more than to just be a housewife. It was something he admired deeply and he would be there to support you all the way. Still he cared about you so much that his instinct was to protect you more than anything else.
“I’m going inside.” You said before turning back and walking towards the building.
“I’ll keep an eye on her Cap.”
“Thanks Jones.” Steve said as Jones walked by. He turned to the other commandos to find them watching him, talking amongst themselves. Joking as they shook their heads at the blond super soldier. “What?”
“Nothing.”
They liked to tease him, it was very obvious the way he looked at you with heart eyes. They didn’t dare tease you though. You were like a little sister to them but you were fierce and you weren’t scared to put them in their place if needed.
“Hey Cap, she said she needs you and Barnes in there.” Jones had walked out about half an hour later.
“Thanks Jones.”
Bucky and Steve made their way into the building. All that was there was scattered papers and fallen hydra soldiers but they passed by everything and headed towards the lab where Jones said you would be at. They found you hunched over some documents and your notebook as you wrote quickly.
“Is everything ok?” Steve asked as they walked in.
“I finished it.” You looked up with a smile. “I found what I needed to complete the formula and I have everything I need here I can finish the serum. What do you say?”
“Let’s do this.” Bucky nodded, he was terrified but ever since Steve found him he hadn’t felt quite himself. He hoped this would be what was missing.
Both men watched as you moved around the room as if you’d always worked there. You turned when you were ready and you motioned for Bucky to sit on an exam table. He removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeve and watched as you cleaned an area on his forearm. Steve stood just behind you and watched as you injected Bucky with the modified serum, waiting for something to happen.
“That should be it.” You say as you step back and look at Bucky.
“Is something supposed to happen?”
“No-“ you’re interrupted by Bucky’s quick and shallow breathing. His hand comes to his chest and his eyes go wide. “Bucky tell me what’s wrong.” You say as you rush back to him but he falls to his side with eyes closed. He’s not breathing anymore and you try not to panic.
“Buck!” Steve called out but he felt stuck where he stood.
You moved to lay bucky flat on his back to figure out what was wrong when he sits back up causing you to scream.
“I’m just playing darling.” He says before he starts laughing at your startled expression. Steve has his head thrown back and his hand on his chest laughing at what happened.
“That’s not funny!” You cross your arms over your chest and glare at the brunette.
“Oh come on, you should have seen your face.”
Bucky jumps off the table and throws an arm around your shoulder, as he continues to laugh. You fail miserably to hide your smile before elbowing him in the ribs and walking away from his grasp.
“I’m sorry darling. I just couldn’t help it.”
“You’re not sorry at all.”
“You’re right I’m not.” He gives you a shit eating grin.
“Come on, I need to take your blood.”
Bucky sits back up on the table and lets you do what you need to do before you dismiss him. You move towards the microscope with your notebook and the blood sample in hand, aware that Steve is still in the room.
“Everything looks good.” You say after a few minutes.
“That’s good.”
“Yeah.” You say as you look back up at Steve.
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I Steve.”
He walks closer to you with a hand stretched out and you take it. Steve pulls you towards him.
“I just want to keep you safe. So that we can go back home and I can take you on a proper date.”
“What are we doing on this proper date?” You say as your arms wrap around his neck.
“I have it all planned out but it’s a surprise.”
“I like surprises.”
“Me too sweetheart.” Steve leans down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss.
“Come on, let's stop these assholes so we can go home.”
“Language.”
You smile over your shoulder as you pull him out of the lab.
************************************
Howard had managed to take the commandos from their last location in the middle of nowhere back to France. The commanding officers Colonel Philips included wanted an update from Steve so that they could figure out the next steps. The end of the war was near and everyone knew it. And as the holidays happened to be near you were given a small reprieve from being out chasing down hydra. The commandos had been given a few bedrooms at a hotel that was abandoned and then turned into a command center. Everyone enjoyed being able to shower properly and have some privacy.
Before you’re able to walk into the bathroom there’s a knock on your door and you’re not surprised to find Steve on the other side. When you open the door he rushes inside already dressed in his formal uniform looking as handsome as ever. His arms wrap around your waist as he kicks the door closed and pushes you against it. His lips find yours in a heated kiss and when he pulls away you’re gasping for air.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” You giggle.
“I feel like we’ve been here before.” He teases.
“Mm-Hmm. Chicago was very special.”
“It was. But I’m only here for a few minutes. I know you’re going to get ready for tonight. I just wanted to give you something.” He pulls a slim box out of his pocket and presents it to you. “I got this back home, after Chicago. Thought I was going back to New York instead of heading to war.”
You reach out and open it to find a gold necklace with a heart shaped locket. “Steve, it’s beautiful.” When you open the locket you find a picture of Steve tucked inside and you smile.
“Since I have your picture in my compass I thought that you could, I don’t know, have mine here.”
“It’s perfect, I love it. I’ll never take it off.”
You placed the locket in the box before wrapping your arms around him again and kissing him deeply.
“I’ll-uh I’ll let you get ready I’ll see you down there ok.”
“Ok.” You smile up at him before taking the necklace from him.
The pub is full of soldiers, laughter and music. All eyes are on you as you walk in. You had to remember to thank Howard before the night was done for convincing you to bring a dress with you. Your hair was up and out of your face and your make up was minimal and you wore the locket Steve had given you happily. The commandos were sitting towards the back and close to the bar. From the sound of their lively conversation it seemed like most of them were already drunk and the sight of several empty glasses confirmed it.
“There she is!” Dugan pointed as you walked toward their table. The other men whistled and whooped as you got closer. “Well don’t you clean up nice.”
“Well thank you Dum Dum, I could say the same for you. Even Barnes looks presentable.”
“Darling you wound me.” Bucky places a hand over his heart with a pout on his face.
“Yeah well it’s what you deserve.” You feel a hand on your lower back and turn to see Steve standing next to you.
“You look beautiful, sweetheart.”
“You look quite dashing yourself.”
This causes the others to tease as you both stare at each other with heart eyes and matching dopey grins.
“Dance with me?” He says with an outstretched hand.
“Of course.”
“We want a dance too.” You hear Falsworth call out.
“I’m sure Steve will be more than happy to dance with all of you once we’re done.” You wink at them before turning and walking towards the makeshift dance floor.
The small band made up of soldiers started playing a slow song. One of Steve’s hands went to your waist while the other held your hand, leaving you to put your free hand on his shoulder.
“I have to be honest, I'm not really good at dancing.” he confessed, almost as if it were an actual sun.
“You’ve never danced before?”
“Not really, no girls wanted to dance with me before.”
“Idiots.” You scoff.
“Would you?” He asked as he swayed with you.
“Would I what?”
“Have danced with me, you know before the serum.”
“Of course I would have. Pre Serum you has a very special place in my heart.” You smile up at him.
“I love you.” Steve said it so easily it was like he had said it a thousand times before and not for the first time ever.
“I love you too.”
Both his hands are on your waist as he pulls you in and kisses you, passionately and deep. The hoop and hollering from the commandos have you pulling back sooner than you would have liked.
“Well this is a nice first date.”
“Absolutely not. I want a proper first date and I have it all planned out.”
“So what is this plan?”
“Nuh-uh, it’s a surprise.” He smiles before giving you another kiss. “I will tell you that it will be the start of the rest of our lives.”
“I like the sound of that.”
When the music stops Bucky walks up and asks for a dance which you happily accept. The song is slightly more up beat and you can tell that he is definitely the more experienced dancer. You laugh with Bucky as he spins you around and he tells you stories of his and Steve’s adventures. Half way through the dance you see Howard and Peggy walk in. She makes her way to Steve quickly which earns an eye roll from you.
This time when the music stops Howard walks over, without asking he takes your hand and leads you in a dance. But your eyes are on Steve who reluctantly accepts Peggy’s invitation for a dance.
“With the look on your face someone might think I’m a terrible dance partner.” Howard’s voice cuts through your thoughts.
“Sorry, it’s just…” you motion with your head towards them.
“Ah yes, well you shouldn’t worry. Steve only had eyes for you, no matter how much Peggy throws herself at him.”
“Well she looks pathetic, and desperate.”
Howard chuckles at your words.
“How is the research going?”
“It’s going well. Did you get the information I sent you?”
“Yes I did very interesting but something is missing.”
“I agree, but I’m close to the last part of the serum’s breakdown. I think we’ll have a new version out soon. Hydra isn’t even close to it from what I’ve found.”
“Well at least that’s good news.”
You look over to see Steve stepping away and leaving Peggy in the middle of the dance floor. He looks furious and he heads out the door.
“Howard, if you'll excuse me.”
“Of course. It was good seeing you stay safe.”
“You too.” You head out the door and look for Steve, finding him around the corner from the building.
“Hey what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just left before I said something I would regret to Peggy.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“She wanted to go back to my room. I told her that I wasn’t interested. I love you but she won’t accept that. And- you know what it doesn’t matter because I’m here with you.”
“So would you be willing to go back to my room with me?” You say with a bit of a smirk.
“I’d go to the ends of the earth with you, sweetheart.”
“Come on then, the end of the earth is this way.”
He chuckles as he lets you grab his hand and pull him down the street toward the hotel you’re staying at. Not even halfway through the walk some soldiers get into a fight and Steve stops.
“Why don’t you go on ahead, I’ll take care of them.”
“Ok.” You kiss his cheek. “I love you.” You whisper before you keep walking down the street.
Right as you’re about to walk into your room you feel hands around your waist and you turn your head to look at Steve and panic sets in. You fight to try and free yourself from the hold whoever it is has on you but it’s not working. The hotel is practically empty and no one hears your pleas for help.
In that moment you knew that the last time you ever saw Steve was down in that street.
*********************************
You take a deep breath as your eyes flutter open. The cold from the chamber you’re in seeps into your bones. You feel disoriented as the chamber door opens and you wait for whoever is going to drag you into the lab but no one comes. On shaky legs you step out, holding on to the edge of the cryogenic chamber and you look around. The room is empty which is unusual. It’s usually full of hydra soldiers and technicians but you finally think it’s your chance to escape. You aren’t even sure how long it’s been since they put you in there but it doesn’t matter. If you can escape and find anyone you can hopefully get back to Steve and that’s all you want. Knowing him, he’s probably blaming himself for what hydra did. You open the metal door slowly, listening for anyone that might be wandering in the corridor. When you’re satisfied that it’s empty you walk out. The silence is good you think, it might mean that Steve and the commandos found you and they’re just working their way down to this level.
After a few more steps you see someone turn a corner and you’re stuck where you stand. Not sure if they’re friend or foe you panic thinking they might be the latter.
“Y/N?”
You recognize that voice. It’s a friendly voice and you’re flooded with relief. They walk closer and the light from the window illuminates Bucky’s face.
“Y/N, is that really you?”
“Bucky!” You choke out before you take a few steps towards him. Bucky bridges the gap as he drops his weapons. His arms wrap around you in a comforting hug.
“Oh darling, I didn’t think I’d see you again.”
You can’t even respond as you cry into his chest.
“We have a friendly I’ll be right up.”
You look up at him confused as to who he might be talking to but he ignored the look you gave him.
“Can you walk?”
“Barely. I’m not sure how long I’ve been in that thing.” Your throat is dry and your voice comes out raspy.
“It's ok, I’ve got you. Just give me a sec.”
He grabs the gun he had dropped and he holsters it before scooping you up bridal style. He moves fast up the hallways and climbs the stairs two or three at a time. Bucky held on tight to you, he was shocked that he’d found you well and he was sure that the news of you being ok. You blinked a few times trying to adjust to the bright rays of the sun, it made you wonder how long had hydra kept you in those labs.
“Can you open your eyes for me darling?”
You blink slowly as you look up at Bucky. He gives you a lopsided smile before moving around you. You were currently strapped down in a seat but Bucky was there so you weren’t scared.
“You’re most likely dehydrated so we’re going to give you an IV ok.”
“Did you replace me as the team nurse?”
You hear him chuckle beside you. It is when you first look around and you’re again confused by your surroundings and then wherever you’re in moves.
“It’s ok, You’re on a jet.” Bucky reassures you. “Clint is flying the jet.” Bucky pointed toward the front of the plane. “And this is my friend Nat, she’s going to help with the IV.”
You look over to find a redhead walking towards you. She nods and gives you a small smile. She’s wearing a black suit that’s very form fitting and you look at her confused. Nat works quickly and sets up the IV, only doing so because Bucky’s hands were shaking so much.
“When did they change the nurses uniform? Have I been out that long?” You ask and you notice the way Nat looks at Bucky, concern written on her face and you turn to look at Bucky. He won’t meet your eyes. “Bucky, what’s going on? And where’s Steve and the others?”
“Darling…” his voice cracks and a tear slips down his cheek.
“Buck please, how long has it been since the night at the pub?”
“It’s been 72 years.” He whispers and you gasp.
“That’s not possible. Where are the others? Howard and Dum Dum, the rest of the commandos?”
He looks at you with tears in his eyes before he looks away. Bucky shakes his head. They’re gone, all of them and it breaks your heart. How is it possible you had seen them a few weeks ago, they were supposed to find you and everything was going to be ok. You cry for all of your friends.
“Steve’s alive.” Nat offers.
“Did he live a good life?”
“Barely, he’s missed you too much. He blames himself.”
“Will you take me to see him?”
“As soon as we land. I promise. Why don’t you get some rest.”
“I still don’t understand how you look so young.”
“I’ll tell you later.”
“Ok.” You say before your eyes close.
*****************************
“Darling, wake up.” Bucky says. “Y/N are you with me?”
“I am.”
“Let’s get you up.” You open your eyes to see him stand and move around to undo the IV. “We’re going to land in about 5 minutes.”
“Ok.”
You look down as you prepare yourself for whatever is going to happen next. If it really had been so long since you were taken that means you have no one left and you weren’t sure how you were going to survive now. Bucky was there and of course he would help you, you know that but your family is gone and you never had a chance to say goodbye. The life you wanted next to Steve is gone too. The thought of seeing him is turning your stomach into knots and you can’t even picture him looking much older. You try to picture him with graying hair but it hurts too much that you didn’t get to grow old together.
“Alright darling let’s go.” Bucky offers you his arm as he leads you down the ramp of the jet.
There’s two men waiting by the landing pad. One of them was shorter with glasses while the other was taller and he was vaguely familiar. Nat and who you assume is Clint walk by you and into the building.
“Y/N this is Dr. Bruce Banner and this is Tony Stark, Howard’s son.” Bucky introduces you and you stare at Tony wide eyed.
“Hi, I-uh I worked with your father.”
“I know, he talked about you all the time.”
“And I’m a fan of your work.” Bruce offered his hand and you gladly accepted it.
“My work?”
“Yes, your notebook that was recovered in your room. It had a lot of great work in it. I’d love to go over it with you and show what scientists were able to do with your information.”
“I would like that very much.” You gave both men a small smile.
“I know that you must be feeling confused about all of this.” Tony waved his hand around. “But just know that we have a place for you here and if you need anything you just let me know.”
“Thank you Tony.”
“Alright we have one more stop before we get you settled.” Bucky says as he guides you towards the entrance. You follow him down a hallway and go up a few floors, having to stop a few times because you’re just tired. Bucky tries to explain the different floors but you can’t keep up. As you turn a corner Bucky explains that you're in the housing section of the compound and that most of the avengers, which he also explained on the way to this floor, lived at. Nat was already standing at a specific floor with another man.
“You must be Y/N, it’s great to finally meet you. I'm Sam.” He walks over to you and offers you his hand which you shake.
“Hi Sam.”
“The door is locked.” Nat informs Bucky, causing him to sigh.
“Friday, unlock the door.”
“Sergeant James Barnes access granted.” You hear someone say and you look around for the source.
“That was the building talking.”
“What?”
“I’ll explain later. Come in.” Bucky opens the door and you look at Sam and Nat as they both take a black square out of their pockets.
“What are those?” You ask them.
“Later.” They say in unison.
You walk in behind Bucky into an apartment. Although everything you’ve seen so far is new and you don’t understand half of it, this place feels like home. It has many of the things you do recognize and you think it belongs to Bucky but then you hear him call out.
“Hey punk, get out here.”
Your heart starts racing at the thought of seeing Steve so soon. There’s no going back now. Before you can escape you hear a door open and you brace yourself to see the love of your life. Then your breath hitches because he’s standing across the living room and he looks upset. Bucky and Sam are blocking you from his view but you can see him clearly. He’s still the Steve you left behind.
“What is it?” He asks as he plays with something in his hand.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“Buck I’m not in the mood fo-“ his words are caught in his throat when Bucky moves to the side. Steve’s mouth was slightly parted and his eyes were open wide as he stared at you.
“Steve.” You say softly, your voice still slightly raspy but it’s music to his ears.
Steve is stuck, frozen in place and he feels as if the wind’s been knocked out of him. You stood in front of him looking exactly how you did the night he lost you. He wanted to touch you, to hold you in his arms so that he knew it wasn’t another dream but he swore his feet were glued down. It didn’t matter because you moved towards him, in fact you ran and his arms opened just in time to catch you. And suddenly it wasn’t a dream anymore because you were there and he felt your tears on his shirt. When you pulled back he looked into those bright eyes he adored so much.
“Sweetheart. Please tell me I’m not dreaming.” He whispered.
“I’m here. This is real.”
You cupped his face with both your hands and he put his forehead against yours. As his tears fell you wiped them away.
“I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t find you. I should have tried harder.”
You pulled him in with a kiss to quiet his apology. He kissed you back with everything he had.
“It’s not your fault. Hydra knew I worked with Erskine, they wanted the formula. I know you did everything you could to find me.”
“It wasn’t enough.”
“I’m here now and so are you. That’s all that matters.”
“They’re so cute. I’m gonna send this to everyone.” You heard behind you and you turned to find Sam, Nat and Bucky watching you, each of them with a smile on their face.
“Ok that’s enough.” Steve tells them.
“Oh come on, she’s my friend and I did find her.”
“But she’s my girl, now get out.”
“I’ll see you later though right Bucky?”
“Of course darling.” He walked towards you and wrapped you in another hug and as he pulled away you noticed his left arm. “It’s a long story and I’m sure I’ll explain everything later.” He kissed your forehead and left, taking Nat and Sam with him.
“Sweetheart, are you ok?”
“No, yes, maybe. I just can’t believe it’s been 72 years.” You turn to look at him. “How do you still look the same age?”
Steve sat you down and explained everything that happened after you disappeared. He told you about everything they did to try and find you and Bucky’s fall from the train. His fight against Red Skull and how he said you were dead. The plane full of bombs that he crashed and how he himself woke up in the future.
“Steve, I can't imagine how that must have been for you.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” He cupped your cheek, his thumb swiping back and forth while he looked at you. Steve studied your face and you did the same. “I have something for you.”
“What?”
He pulls out what he was playing with when he first walked out from his pocket.
“My locket!”
“I found it on the floor that night.” You turned so he could put it on.
“I know there’s a lot for you to figure out, so what do you want to do first? Are you tired, do you want to rest?”
You shake your head. “I want what you promised me.”
“What I promised?” He tilts his head slightly confused.
“Yes, a date. A proper one.”
Steve smiled and pulled you into his lap so that you could straddle him. You yelped in surprise as your hands landed on his chest. One hand was on your waist while the other cupped your cheek.
“A proper date it is.” He said before pulling you in to kiss you.
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I'm so glad this series is back and adore this chapter 😍🥰
With Friends Like You, Who Needs Enemies
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Reader is a mutant with the ability to turn sound into light who was 'adopted' aka stolen as a child by Baron Von Strucker to use for experimentation. She was given a form of the Super soldier serum so in addition to her mutant abilities she also has super strength, enhanced senses and healing. When he starts experimenting on his volunteers, the Maximoff twins, she tries to convince them to escape with her but they tell the Baron that she's planning to escape so he doubles her cell security. Steve and reader met when the team recovered Loki's scepter from Strucker.
She falls in love with Steve and becomes good friends with Nat but they aren't the friends she thinks they are.
This story is canon adjacent except that Thanos never happened.
NOTES: I'm in the middle of reading Unwanted by @scoonsalicious and am really pissed at that Bucky which made writing fluff a challenge so I hope this came out alright.
LMK if y'all want smut
Chapter 13
Warnings: little angst but mostly fluff
Bucky kissed Rainbow on the cheek as he dropped her off in her room to get ready for their date. Before Bucky even took two steps away from her door, Steve hurried up and started knocking. Rainbow opened the door smiling, thinking Bucky had forgotten something but her face fell when she saw Steve looking at her expectantly.
She sighed "What do you want, Steve?"
Steve smiled at her "I was wondering if you had plans tonight? Maybe we could go for dinner?"
Rainbow shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose "I don't think so Steve. I have plans tonight but even if I didn't, I still wouldn't spend any time with you even if the world was on fire and you owned all the water. Go find yourself a new girl to control and cheat on." She slammed the door in his face.
Steve heard something behind him and glared at Bucky who was leaning up against the wall chuckling at him. "I waited to see if she needed any help dealing with you but it seems like she can handle herself just fine.
And damn pal, the attitude she gave you was hot as fuck."
He slapped Steve on the shoulder "Well, man, I've got a date to get ready for with my sweet Rainbow and I do not want to be late. Catch you later, punk."
Steve just stood in the hallway, seething, until an idea to interfere with their date started forming and he walked away to develop it.
Wanda went to Rainbows room to help her get ready for her date. Rainbow was already anxious.
"I don't know what to wear, I don't have much."
Wanda looked at her "It's just a date, not like you two don't already finish each others sentences all the time. Bucky is crazy about you, he'd love you in a potato sack so stop worrying about it."
Wanda hummed looking through Rainbows closet before grabbing a hanger. "How about this?" She waved a baby blue sun dress "and.......this?" Putting her black leather biker jacket over it. "And some sandals? Light make up and relaxed hair?"
Rainbow laughed and nodded "Yes!" Before sitting down so Wanda could work on her hair.
Rainbow hummed without even realizing and her aura glowed so Wanda giggled "You must not be too nervous because your lights are so light and soft"
Rainbow felt her face heat up and her lights went pink "Why would I be nervous? Bucky and I are already know each other so well. I feel like all the other stuff, you know Strucker, Nat all that bad was there to make sure I appreciate right now. I mean do you think there's something I should be nervous about? Did you see something in Bucky's head? Tell me Wanda please!" She felt her heart racing.
Wanda rubbed her back "No there's nothing, I didn't read anything it was just your lights were so pretty."
Rainbow sighed and tried to soothe herself. "I'm more worried about Steve trying to cause trouble. He knocked on my door after the meeting and asked me to go out with him. I don't think he's going to back down."
Wanda consoled her "We aren't going to let Steve mess things up for you. I'll keep an eye on him to make sure."
Wanda finished her work and stood back. "Stand up and take a look."
Rainbow stood and looked at herself in the mirror, gasped, then twirled to make sure it was really her. "Wanda, what did you do? You made me beautiful."
Wanda scoffed playfully "No love, you are beautiful. I just helped highlight what you already have."
Rainbow felt her emotions welling up and her eyes felt teary. She fanned her face with her hands "Oh no Wanda, you're gonna make me cry and ruin my face. I just, I don't, I'm, no I can't do this it's too much."
Wanda handed her some tissues "No, stop it. You're just nervous but it's going to be perfect. Trust me."
Rainbow hugged her friend and sat on her couch to wait for Bucky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky looked himself over in his mirror, black jeans, button up and leather jacket. Simple and very him. He left his room to pick up the flowers he had ordered at reception and back upstairs to pick up his Rainbow.
He passed his own door to see Steve leaned up against it.
Bucky shook his head "No time for your BS Rogers, find a new hobby."
Steve scoffed "I don't think so. You're nuts if you think I'm just going to stand back and watch you take my girl. I'm not that skinny weakling you used to protect."
Bucky nodded "I agree, that weakling wouldn't have treated Rainbow the way you have."
Steve snapped "Not Rainbow, her fucking name is Y/N and I will get her back." he shoved Bucky into the wall.
Bucky stared at the man he used to consider his brother before setting the flowers aside and cracked his neck calmly. He moved so quickly after that, that Steve couldn't follow his movements and found himself against the wall with Bucky's vibranium hand around his neck. Again.
Bucky held him a moment, breathing heavily before looking Steve in the eyes "This is the LAST time I'm gonna say this. You fucked up and RAINBOW isn't yours, doesn't want to be yours and I'm honestly baffled trying to understand why she won't let me kill you. She's with me now and I'm not gonna fuck up like you did. Now I'm taking her on a date and you are gonna stay here, in the building, and leave us the fuck alone. Got it?"
Steve tried to speak and nod but he couldn't. Bucky chuckled and let up on Steve's neck "Sorry, I guess I'm a little overzealous. Are we clear?"
Steve nodded wordlessly while looking past Bucky's shoulder, seeing Y/N beckoning him and followed her into his own room.
Bucky saw Wanda down the hall, red magic reaching from her hands to follow Steve into his room. She smiled at Bucky and nodded her head towards Rainbows room.
Bucky smiled back, dusted himself off, picked up his flowers and hurried to Rainbows door, knocking quickly. When she opened her door his jaw dropped, making her giggle.
"Hi Jamie." She took the flowers he held out for her.
"Damn doll, you get prettier every time I see you."
She smiled and felt her face heat up, hoping he wouldn't notice. "You look very handsome too. Let me put these flowers in some water and we can go."
Bucky took her hand after she took care of the flowers and led her to the entrance of the building.
When he opened the door for her, Rainbow gasped to see a horse drawn carriage waiting for them.
She looked over at Bucky who shrugged "It's incredible what you can do when you have Tony Stark backing you up." He held his hand up to help her step into the carriage.
They rode all the way around the lake and came back around to the end of the property stopping at a spot with soft outdoor lights and a blanket spread out topped by an assortment of pillows. Soft jazz music seemed to come out of nowhere.
The driver stopped the horse and Bucky helped Rainbow out of the carriage which went far enough away to give them privacy but close enough to be there when they were ready to go home.
Rainbow looked at the setting in awe "It's so pretty Jamie, I love this!"
Bucky stared at her with a smile on his face "Absolutely beautiful"
Rainbow looked at him, realized he was looking at her then felt the butterflies explode and leave a tingle in her core.
Bucky smirked and kissed her cheek before offering a hand to help her sit and get comfortable on the blanket. She giggled playing with them until she was comfortable.
Bucky poured wine and put out a dish of fruit, veggies, cheese and crackers for them to snack on. They talked and laughed, quietly watched the sun set in each others arms, then talked more until Bucky leaned over and kissed her. He was soft and slow to start, gently nibbling her lower lip until she opened up for him and their tongues danced together. He pulled her closer and ran his hands all over her body until they both needed to come up for air.
Bucky caressed her cheek with his flesh hand and smiled when she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. He gently grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into another kiss. She kissed him back with all the love and passion she felt. She felt his vibranium hand tighten around her waist until she could feel his erection pushing into her center and moaned into his mouth.
He smiled into the kiss and moved his hand down to grab her ass and grind into her.
He pulled back to check on her, looking into her beautiful eyes "Are you ok doll you let me know if I'm going too fast, yeah?"
Rainbow nodded "I will but you aren't. I want you Jamie. I need you."
She reached down to barely run her hand over his straining cock. Even through his clothes she made him feel like nothing he remembered.
He grunted, his voice husky "If you keep that up I'm gonna make a mess in my pants like a teenager."
He pulled away a little "Maybe we should cool off? Maybe a walk along the lake shore?"
Rainbow pouted and shook her head before rubbing him a little harder, nibbling on his earlobe and whispering in his ear "Maybe, we should get back to my room so I can show you what I meant when I said I need you."
Bucky kissed her one more time before grabbing his phone and texting the coachman to pick them up.
He looked at Rainbow and winked as he pulled her up to stand "Then let's get out of here, doll."
Smut? Or no smut?
@vicmc624
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horrible news: in order for you to finish a wip, you have to work on that wip and not the 2543524 other wips you were brainrotting over instead of that one. more investigations at 7.
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Ahhh I love this so much
Pirate & Pin Cushion (2)
Jake Jensen x gn! ops!Reader
Confidence Is The Absence Of Control (see previous)
A continuation of a Valentine's drabble wherein you got stabbed on a mission. When Jake, your 'Banter Bro' friend and secret crush, asks where you're not hurting, your sassy retort leads him to kiss you, but you passed out shortly after. This is what happens when you momentarily wake up in recovery.
Warnings for dirty jokes (it's not really innuendo when you just say the quiet part) and foul language. WC 638
“Take it easy,” you hear, your insides seeming to travel at mach speed until crashing into your skin as you wake. “You’ve been out a couple days.”
You wouldn’t be able to tell someone your name if they asked you right now, but a cute, bespectacled man with golden tipped hair sits concerned by your side.
You open your mouth to speak. It might as well be find with dust and cobwebs. Swallowing hurts. Or does it? Physical sensations feel so far away, detached from your body.
“It’s okay. You’re okay,” the man says again.
Jake. He looks like a Jake. You remember Jake?
You stare at your feet, one of which itches, but you can’t move it and in this brain fog, it hardly matters.
Trying to speak once more gets your point across.
Jake scrambles for the cup of water next to him and holds it steady. Eternity passes as you sip, wake, and become aware, but you’re hardly aware of anything. It’s all very unreal.
“Don’t worry, PC, they got you the good stuff. Heavy duty meds. Nothing but the best.”
“PC?” you croak.
Jake smirks warily. “For Pin Cushion. Eh, I’m test-driving it,” he shrugs.
“You smile pretty.”
Pink floods Jake’s cheeks. “Thank you?”
Using all your might and concentration, your hand moves to his. “You got thick arms.”
“Right, so, you remember when I said you’re on medication..?”
“I think your glasses are sexy.”
Jake snorts and glances around, muttering to himself. “I’m not sure you want me here for this conversa—“
“You deserve sex,” you add matter-of-factly. “Lots of it. Hot guy like you.”
Each word is slow like molasses, and though Jake doesn’t stop or interrupt you, he grips the back of his neck and keeps looking around.
“Oh boy.”
“I’d have sex with you—water—“ you request and he realigns the straw with your mouth, eyes slightly bugging out “—like…whenever.”
You’re content to take a few more delicate pulls that feel more like torturous gulps, but you can’t not drink and you can’t stop talking.
“I watch your ass. But not like ‘watch your six,’ I mean I watch your ass. It’s a good ass. Cargo pants are dumb. You should were something tighter.”
“Okay, maybe more sleep now?!” Jake’s voice soars an octave mid-sentence.
“Hey, hey,” you insist, “come ‘ere.”
He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, the heavy bob of his Adam’s apple fascinating you for a long moment.
Jake holds his breath, waiting.
“What did you want to say?” he whispers.
Your eyes ‘jump’ up to his, crawling over his features at the same pace it would take you to lick a path up it.
“Huh?”
“You…were gonna tell me something.”
All you can do is blink. “I don’t know. I just like to look at you.”
Jake doesn’t move a muscle before your brain comes up with a replacement question.
“If I dress like a laptop for Halloween, would you touch me?”
He slaps a hand over his mouth, grin so wide his palm can’t cover the whole thing.
“Do you mean—“ he wheezes in amusement “—you mean would I finger your keyboard?” He dissolves into uproarious laughter. “Oh man, I gotta record this.”
As he digs his phone out of his pocket, you’re hit with a wave of fatigue. Maybe rest is a good idea. Maybe you’re not fully alive again yet.
“Okay,” Jake clears his throat, “PC, what were you saying about Halloween? One more time.”
You don’t even acknowledge the phone shoved into your face. You only hold his soft, twinkling blue gaze.
“I should have told you before I died,” you drawl, sleep taking over, “I love you.”
Jake’s face falls, stunned, but still the last thing you hear is ‘Pin Cushion’ as if it’s miles away.
A/N: For reference, Reader did not die, is not dead, and does not die at any point in this story. 😉 They are just drugged out of their mind.
[Final Part: Painful...But In A Good Way]
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oh Bucky
Love Me A Little
Character: Secretary!Bucky x Female!Reader
Words: 1,539
Summary: "Love me, even just a little." When she uttered those words, they struck Bucky like a bolt of lightning, leaving him utterly bewildered. After all, he was just a secretary—his world and hers seemed galaxies apart.
Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi
Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️
It was already 1:00 a.m., and the streets lay deserted, easing Bucky's drive. The sleek black Bugatti smoothly entered the apartment basement car park. Just one more turn, and he would find his usual parking spot.
"Screech." The sound of tires screeching echoed in the empty basement.
"Huh?" Bucky's foot instinctively hit the brake as he caught sight of the familiar figure standing in front of his car.
"Y/N?"
It's you. The sole daughter of the Rogers family, the heiress to Starlight Enterprises, a conglomerate spanning oil and gas, telecom, retail, and financial services.
You had fled, prompting the company to dispatch security teams in search of you.
And here you were.
Bucky stepped out of the car. "What are you doing? Don't you realize everyone's been searching for you?"
You scoffed, your tone laced with defiance. "So what? At least everyone will learn that I'm serious. I refuse to marry that guy."
Bucky understood the depth of your frustration. Your family was orchestrating an engagement between you and their business partner. But you vehemently opposed it. He comprehended why; the man they wanted you to marry was notorious—a playboy and a drug addict.
Unable to sway your resolve, Bucky carefully chose his words. "You should go home."
He reached out, gently clasping your hand, his touch pleading, wanting to guide you to safety.
But you recoiled, pushing his hand away. "I don't want to."
Bucky's heart sank, his expression pained. "Your family is worried about you."
Your retort was sharp, cutting. "Are they really? Or are they just afraid of losing their golden ticket?"
A tense silence enveloped them as Bucky grappled with the weight of your words. As the secretary to your brother, Steve, the Vice President, he was privy to the inner workings of wealthy families, aware that most marriages were arranged for business purposes.
Like Steve and Peggy, who defied the odds and found happiness together despite the pressures of their world, you refused to succumb to a loveless marriage.
With teary eyes, you gazed at Bucky, desperation etched in every tear. "I'll tell my parents I'll marry you instead."
Bucky sighed, feeling the weight of your request once more. You had asked him this before, seeking refuge from the loveless future awaiting you. Each time, he had declined.
"Not everything will always go your way," he murmured, his words heavy with resignation. "You've been living in a bubble as Princess Rogers." He paused, unable to bring himself to utter the name of your family's empire. "Now you're facing reality."
You fought back the tears, stung by his harshness. It was the first time Bucky had spoken so coldly to you. "Do you think my feelings for you are fake?"
"My whole life has been arranged from A to Z without my opinion," you continued, your voice trembling with suppressed emotion.
"The only thing I have is my dream of us living happily ever after. Can I at least have that?" Your breaths came in ragged gasps as you struggled to contain your emotions.
"Stop dreaming. Go home," Bucky commanded, his voice firm as he pointed behind you.
'Screech.'
With a screech of tires, a white Mercedes arrived to collect you. It dawned on you that Bucky had already informed the security team of your whereabouts.
As you watched Bucky walk away, a surge of determination washed over you. Clenching your fists, you whispered, "I'll show you."
########
A few days later
The entire Rogers family had gathered for tonight's dinner, including your grandparents, Thomas Rogers, the esteemed founder of the company. Bucky joined the dinner as well, having become one of the company's key figures, seated right beside you.
Despite the gravity of your previous conversation, you seemed to have put it aside, acting as if nothing had happened when you saw Bucky.
The dinner unfolded in its usual extravagant manner, with everyone engaging in polite small talk until dessert was served.
Your grandmother, Anna, broke the silence. "It's wonderful that we could all come together like this. We must discuss our youngest's engagement."
Your mother, Sophia, nodded, her smile gentle. "I met with them four days ago, and we've already ironed out all the details, from the church to the wedding."
Bucky's mind raced. Four days ago? That's precisely when you had gone missing.
Anna's excitement bubbled over. "This wedding will be magnificent. I can hardly contain myself."
But only the two women seemed enthused; your grandfather, Thomas, and your father, Benjamin, remained stoic, while your brother Steve stayed silent.
Then, a sudden sound cut through the air—a sharp "clank" as a fork stabbed into a plate.
All eyes turned to you.
"I don't like it," you stated flatly, your voice cutting through the tension like a knife.
Sophia's hand hesitated mid-air, poised to call the waitress, but froze when she heard her daughter's words.
"I don't like anything," you continued, your voice ringing with defiance. "I don't like that person, the wedding, anything."
"Y/N, stop," Sophia interjected, her tone tinged with frustration. "We've discussed this."
"Discuss?" you retorted bitterly. "Do you mean when you ignore my words?"
Anna's patience wore thin. "Y/N, enough with the tantrum. This concerns the entire family."
You crossed your arms defiantly. "I refuse to marry him."
Anna rose from her seat, ready to reprimand you, but a sharp glance from Thomas halted her in her tracks. Without a word, she sank back down, chastened by her father's silent command.
Thomas fixed you with a steady gaze, the same gaze that had once spoiled you as his beloved granddaughter. "Explain to me the reason why."
"I don't love him," you declared, your voice trembling with emotion. "I love someone else."
A sudden palpitation coursed through Bucky's chest. He sensed the situation spiraling out of control.
"Whose the person you love?" Thomas inquired, his voice firm.
You didn't hesitate. "Bucky."
'Ba-dump'
The room fell into stunned silence, broken only by the rapid thudding of Bucky's heart echoing in his ears, his mind racing as he grappled with the revelation unfolding before him.
Bucky rose hastily, his intention to apologize to the Chairman halted as your hand clasped his, the determination in your eyes stopping him in his tracks. It was the first time he had seen you like this, and it sent a shiver down his spine.
As all eyes turned towards you, you swallowed hard before speaking up. "And I'm pregnant. Bucky is the father."
The room erupted in chaos as Sophia and Anna screamed in unison.
"What?" they exclaimed in disbelief.
"Bucky! How dare you touch my daughter!" Sophia lunged forward, her hand reaching for Bucky's hair, but Benjamin intervened, restraining her.
Bucky opened his mouth to protest and deny the accusation, but the words stuck in his throat. He was taken by surprise, too.
"Silence," Thomas, the Chairman's authoritative voice, cut through the commotion, bringing an abrupt end to the chaos.
He rose from his seat, followed by Benjamin and Steve, their expressions a mix of shock and concern.
Fixing Bucky with a steely gaze, Thomas uttered just two words. "A word."
Bucky swallowed hard, his heart pounding as he replied, "Yes, Sir," bracing himself for the inevitable confrontation.
########
In Benjamin's office, Bucky stood before the three men, the weight of their scrutiny heavy upon him as they remained silent. Finally, Thomas broke the tension with a direct question. "Is everything true?"
Bucky knelt before his boss and friend, his voice steady but his heart pounding. "No, sir. None of it is true. I've never laid a hand on her."
Thomas's expression softened, a flicker of relief crossing his features. "Good."
Bucky let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, grateful for Thomas's understanding.
But then Benjamin spoke up, his tone contemplative. "Then why don't you like my daughter?"
Bucky's brow furrowed in confusion as he lifted his head to meet Benjamin's gaze.
"She's better off with you than with that spoiled man," Steve interjected, his voice firm.
Benjamin nodded in agreement, his eyes holding a hint of understanding.
Bucky was taken aback. "What?"
Thomas leaned forward, his voice grave. "The wedding arrangement was orchestrated by my wife and Y/N's mother. I'm relieved my granddaughter took a stand today."
Steve clapped Bucky on the shoulder, a mixture of relief and gratitude in his eyes. "I nearly lost my cool when she said she was pregnant. I almost punched you. Thank goodness it was a lie."
Bucky struggled to find words, overwhelmed by the unexpected turn of events.
Steve's tone softened. "Stay with her. I won't allow my sister to marry that man."
As the men continued their discussion, Bucky's mind raced, unable to fully comprehend the depth of their support.
Excusing himself, Bucky closed the door behind him, only to find you waiting for him outside.
Your worried expression melted his defenses as you approached him.
"What did they say?" you asked, searching his eyes for answers.
Bucky hesitated, then shook his head. "Nothing."
You breathed a sigh of relief and pulled him into a tight hug, his body stiffening like a log. Lifting your head to meet his gaze, determination flashed in your eyes.
"I'll make you love me," you vowed softly. "Even just a little."
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so somehow the sequel was angstier than the original
Almost Pt. 2
Bucky POV (W/ FemReader)
Angst, heartbreak, sadness
Tw: some mild curse words
AN: Hellooooo. I had an idea for a part two! Two fics in one week? Who do I think I am? 😳 anyway here is Bucky’s point of view on what happened after part one! Will link below! Maybe this will be a new series? Idk feeling ambitious 🤣
Part 1
Enjoy 🤘🏼
It had been six weeks since Steve’s party. Six agonizing weeks of silence. Forty-two days of not hearing your voice. One thousand and eight hours of not seeing you smile at my stupid jokes. Sixty thousand, four hundred, and eighty minutes of not seeing the light dance in your eyes whenever you saw me enter the room. Three million, six hundred thousand twenty eight, and eight hundred seconds since I saw you walk away from me during that party after confessing your love for me.
You said you needed time. I respected that. I understood that.
After you bared your soul to me, I told you what I thought you needed to hear. That I wasn’t good enough for you. That you deserved better. It was difficult to stand there and see the light die from your eyes as I said these things. It was painful to see you cry, knowing that I had been the one to cause you that pain. But it was devastating for me to realize that despite how much I loved you, how much I cared for you, that the words I said were still true. Agonizingly so.
I expected that this type of honesty would destroy our friendship. Even though I still held out hope in my selfish mindset that we could continue on like we had in the past. Spending our free nights together, laughing, joking, having fun together, sharing memories, crying, hugging, everything we used to do…
But of course, those dreams had not come into fruition.
When you volunteered to be shipped out of the country for a mission the day after Steve’s party, I knew it was to get away from me. And despite my frustration and worry about you leaving on some dangerous mission without me in the state you were in, Steve assured me that you would be fine. He didn’t know the extent of what happened, but Steve being the inquisitive son of a bitch he is, he was able to connect some of the dots at least. Surprisingly he didn’t lecture or judge me. I was expecting to get an earful from him about how I treated you, led you on, and hurt your feelings, but in return I got nothing.
The mission was only supposed to last for two weeks, but as the days grew longer, the whole team was on edge when the two of you didn’t return. Steve kept communications with Tony, and he would pass along the messages to the rest of us. “They hit a snag. They are safe but they are bunking down for a bit.”
I felt like I was on pins and needles. I just needed to know you were safe, that you were okay. I must have looked worse for wear around the tower, because even Nat noticed and had a conversation with me in my room. It was a little strange. Having her back in my apartment, alone, her fiery gaze still as piercing as it was when we were together. But those feelings I held for her were gone. Something else lingered there, a fondness for the time we had, but nothing more.
I knew she was your best friend, so I assumed you told her everything about what happened at the party, but when she came into my apartment with a stern gaze on me, arms crossed and all, all she said was.
“I don’t know what happened the other night at Steve’s party, but you need to stop moping and get a grip.”
“I’m fine. Stay out of it,” I said with an icy tone.
Nat just rolled her eyes and jabbed a finger at me. “If you don’t feel anything for her, then stay away or get your shit together. She cares about you too much to walk away from you, Bucky.” Nat’s voice grew softer as she thought of you. “Whenever she comes back, and she will come back, she needs to heal. She cannot continue to be your emotional support puppet. It's draining her, James. Every time she returns from hanging out with you I see less and less of her return. She cannot continue to give you all of her heart when she is receiving none of it back.
“So for her sake, please, let her go.”
It was a hard thing to hear, but it was necessary. I stopped driving myself mad with when you would return. It was difficult, maddeningly so, but after another week I was able to distract myself enough with other things… other people. I did a few missions here and there, nothing that took me out of the country, but it filled some of the time I had to think about you.
I spent time with Nadia, the girl I had gone on a few dates with, the girl I had broken your heart over. Our relationship was purely physical. She was another distraction, someone to pass the time with. She didn’t seem to mind the distance I put between us. We weren’t exclusive by any means, and she was free to explore all of her options, but that was as far as that would go. Not that I could ever tell you this, even though I wanted to.
That was the shittiest part of it all. I missed you. Constantly. I missed talking with you about every single part of my day. I missed hearing about your day, or the silly little thoughts that swirled in your curious head. I missed spending my weekends with you, staying up until the sun rose, seeing you curled up in a ball on my couch, sleeping so peacefully. The ache in my chest never ceased, but I was able to drown away the thought of you for moments at a time.
And then you returned.
It was like a blow to the heart, seeing you standing in the kitchen, casually making yourself a bowl of cereal. Your skin seemed tanner than when you left. Clearly you had been somewhere where the sun kissed your skin for long periods of time. You looked beautiful, even just in your morning casual wear. You hadn’t noticed me yet. I was frozen in the entryway, trying to think of something intelligible to say to you, when Steve walked in through the other way. He too had not noticed me yet, his skin also sunkissed and a bit long.
I opened my mouth to speak, but before any sound could come out, I watched as my best friend slid his arms around your waist, turned you around in a swift and gentle motion, and kissed you. Ice filled my veins and it felt as if a rock had dropped in my stomach. I staggered backwards a bit, hiding myself more in the darkness of the archway as I saw the scene unfold.
Steve was kissing you. His hands were gentle around your waist, and although you were taken by surprise in the moment, you stood on your toes to be more on his level. You cupped his face and smiled. You were smiling. You looked…happy.
I slipped away back down the hallway and into my room before I could see more. The image of my best friend kissing the love of my life was burned into my mind. I sat on my bed in a disgruntled mess, fighting the strange waves of feelings that were swirling in my body.
You were finally back. You were safe. At that I was able to release the tension in my chest that I had been holding since you left. And then… Steve. What had changed during those six weeks you were gone? Was it serious? Did you love him? Did he love you? These questions paced back and forth inside of my brain until I was nearly dizzy.
It was the memory of Nat’s voice that stuck out amongst my own thoughts. “Let her go.”
You had been happy in that kitchen. Steve was a good man, too good to play with someone’s feelings if he didn’t truly feel something for them. Steve was good for you. That’s what I wanted, wasn’t it? The reason why I broke your heart in the first place? To set you free to find someone that would love you in all the ways I was incapable of doing. Why was I mad that you had done that? Why did I want to punch Steve for kissing you?
I clenched my fists as I sat on the bed. My body shook with so much emotion. In the torental storm that was my mind, I tried to focus on one memory. The only one that mattered. That night on the balcony. You had stood there, hair swirling in the breeze, more beautiful than the night sky. And you said it.
“I’m in love with you.”
The words calmed me. The memory of that night grounded me. Your tears. Your sadness. Your anger. I caused that. “I’m in love with you.” That is what you told me. And even though I wanted to scream it back, to shout it from the roof that I loved you too, instead I denied you. I threw it back in your face to save you from what I am. I hurt you, and this was my punishment. Seeing you pick up the pieces of that love that I shattered and give it to someone who would nurture that love.
I sat there thinking and thinking, until my head was pounding. I laid down on my bed, the image of you kissing someone else burning in my head.
“I’m in love with you too,” I muttered to myself.
Then, as tears began to silently fall down my face, I began to laugh.
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omg the angst....damn you Bucky Barnes
Almost
Bucky Barnes x FemReader!
Angst, heartbreak, longing, unrequited love
Hello! It’s been a while, but here is my Bucky fic that I promised from my poll!
The night air was cool and crisp against your skin. The wind was blowing slightly, not enough to be uncomfortable, but enough to cause stray pieces of your hair to swirl into the night as you leaned on the balcony of the Avenger’s tower. You could hear the music from the party inside, its rhythmic beat softly booming from within. It was Steve’s birthday party and it was a lively event that you, Nat, Sam, Bucky, and surprisingly Tony, had spent weeks planning. The guardians had flown in for the occasion, as well as Carol and Thor, who had Loki in tow with him. The night started off simple enough with a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. It was just Steve, Bucky, Nat, Sam, and yourself at dinner while Tony was busy finishing the party preparations with Bruce.
You had wondered if dinner would be awkward at all. It had been 10 months since Bucky and Nat had broken up, and it had been a strenuous ordeal for the whole team. Nat had broken it off with Bucky, for personal reasons she had told you in confidence. You knew they had had problems during their relationship, problems mostly stemming from their mutual inability to be there for each other emotionally. It was a tough reality to face, for both of them. You often felt like the bridge between the two of them, being the one that both parties were able to confide in. It was hard to be impartial to either side.
On one hand, Natasha was your best friend. She had been ever since you joined the team. She had been dating Bucky when you first joined the team, and your friendship only seemed to strengthen once they broke up. You loved Nat, and treasured her friendship more than anything in the world. You were very surprised when she told you that she started seeing Bruce Banner a few months ago. Even though Bruce seemed like the opposite of Bucky, in all accounts she seemed very happy with him. And you were happy that she was happy…
But on the other hand, there was Bucky. He had been devastated by the breakup. He had wanted nothing more than to drown away his sorrows in booze and fill his nights with endless distractions. You had been very surprised when he had called you one night, asking if you wanted to hang out with him and Steve. Nat had been out with Banner that night, and the tower felt lonelier than usual, so you agreed.
The three of you had spent the night drinking and playing darts. It had been a fun night of laughter and jokes. You were almost glad to see Bucky as he once was, happy and carefree, but as the night wore on, and Steve tapped out around 4 am, it was just the two of you left at the bar. The two of you just sat at the bar, sipping the last of your drinks when you asked him how he was doing.
His facade had slipped away, the smile he had forced all night was gone, and instead he put his head down and let out violent sobs of anguish. “I miss her, god, she was…everything.”
It broke your heart to see him so miserable. You never knew he was in such a poor state. It had been 7 months since they had broken up at that point, and as far as you or Nat knew, he hadn’t seemed like he was upset about it. Why he decided to be so open in front of you… you couldn’t understand. But you comforted him, as best as you could. You stayed with him all night, agreed to take a walk with him and let him vent to you until the sun came up. When he finally passed out on your couch at the avengers tower, he woke up hours later and left without a word.
You thought that was the end of it. That it was just one drunk night that had him so emotional, but then he called again. And again. And again. Hanging out with Bucky started to become a normal part of your routine. Half of the time it was always with Steve, the three of you hanging out. But then Bucky would want to hang out with just you. Mostly you both would talk, sometimes drink, sometimes watch a movie or even sing some karaoke once the liquor started to hit. It was…nice.
You had made sure it was okay with Nat, of course. Asking her if she was bothered by you hanging out with her ex, but Nat seemed undisturbed.
“It seems like he needs a friend, and I know I haven’t been around for you a lot lately either. I’m okay with this, really. Whatever it is— and whatever it becomes.”
Despite your many assurances that nothing was going to happen between you and Bucky, Nat just brushed it off and teased you further about it. She was in a really good place with Banner and she seemed genuinely thrilled with the idea of you and Bucky becoming an item.
The idea had crossed your mind a time or two. Mostly when you were very intoxicated and alone with Bucky. It was hard not to be drawn in by the beauty of him. You’ve caught yourself staring at his arms when he was throwing darts more times than you’d care to admit, and whenever he would throw his arm around you in a fit of laughter, you couldn’t help but feel your stomach flutter.
Getting to know him on a deeper level made the idea of not wanting him even harder to deny. He was still very much hung up on Nat, that was clear, but whenever he let himself be vulnerable and he talked about his past and the things that haunted him, you couldn’t help but feel connected to him in a way that you hadn’t felt with others. Everything about him seemed to be drawing you in. It was a maddening cycle trying to stop yourself from catching feelings, but it was one you fought for the longest time.
Until tonight. The party had been the biggest eye opener to you since you started being friends with Bucky. Dinner was not an awkward affair, much to your surprise. Nat and Bucky were cordial with each other at the dinner table, even sharing a few laughs as you sat between them.
“How have you been James?” Nat asked. Bucky gave her a small smile. “I’ve been alright. I heard about you and Banner, congrats by the way.” Banner had proposed to Nat a few weeks ago. To your surprise Bucky had taken it rather well.
“Thank you, we are very happy,” Nat beamed. She gave you a quick glance and smiled. “Have you seen anyone Buck?” You opened your mouth to protest to Nat, but Bucky just laughed.
“I have been talking to someone for a little while now.”
You felt your heart drop to your stomach. This was the first you had heard of this. You kept a steady grin on your face as he continued talking. You thought you saw Nat flash you a Quick Look, but it was so fast you could have thought you had imagined it.
“Well, that’s awesome. I’m happy for you Buck,” Natasha smiled.
“Yeah, we’ve only been on a few dates but so far it’s been going well.”
The rest of the dinner felt like a strange blur. You remember sitting there, you remember eating, and you remember getting into the car to head back to the tower where the surprise party was, but any other detail of the night faded away into nothing.
Why did it bother you so much? You had no right to lay claim to all of Bucky’s attention. The two of you were friends, and nothing more. You had set that boundary yourself, for yourself to stop yourself from getting hurt. But then again, you had never gotten as close to anyone as you had with Bucky. There had been people in the past, those you thought had the potential to hold your heart, but nothing ever worked out with them.
When the party returned to the tower, an uneasiness settled deep into your stomach as people began to arrive. You tried your best to distract yourself with trivial tasks such as handing out drinks, messing with decorations, or just following Sam around and letting him talk your ear off. But as the party grew, so did the uneasy feeling in your stomach.
Who was this girl? Would she be here tonight? Would you be able to handle it if she was?
As these thoughts were swirling around your head, you decided that maybe it was time to talk to Nat about your feelings. You searched around wildly for any sign of her or Banner but came up empty. You saw Bucky momentarily, he was talking with Steve and your eyes met for a single moment but you quickly looked away. You needed air.
So, that’s when you stepped out of the party and had been hiding ever since. You sent a text to Nat to meet you outside whenever she could. You stood there a bit, swirling the drink in your hand and enjoying the breeze on your flushed cheeks. You heard the sliding door open and you turned expecting to see Nat.
“I need to talk to— oh, hey,” you caught yourself and pitched your voice higher as Bucky closed the door behind him.
“Hey, doll,” He said, his usual playful tone was a bit strained, “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” you replied quickly, a bit too quickly, “I, uh, just needed some air.”
You moved a bit from your spot as he came to stand beside you. The smell of his cologne hit your nose as he sidled up next to you on the balcony, the leather of his jacket brushing against your arm momentarily. Your chest felt like it was contracting, being so close to him. As if the proximity alone was enough to unravel your whole being.
“How are you enjoying the party?” You choke out, refusing to look him in the eye, focusing instead on the city skyline below.
“It’s fine,” he began cautiously. It seemed, “It would be better if you would talk to me though.”
Your back stiffened at his words. You said nothing and yet he continued. “You’ve hardly said a word since dinner and we both know that isn’t normal. You didn’t even laugh when Sam made fun of Banner’s bowtie in the car.”
“Yes I did,” you said weakly.
“If you’re gonna lie to me, can you at least look me in the eyes?”
It was the brokenness in Bucky’s voice that made you turn to face him finally. His eyes were searching yours, trying to read every detail from your face. You bit your lip to keep it from trembling.
“Please, just tell me what’s wrong,” he begged quietly.
You opened your mouth, wanting to answer him, wanting to take away his discomfort at this moment, but the aching of your heart prevented words from coming out.
A choked out noise came from your lips just as the sliding door opened.
“—and I told him, I said—- oh hey!” Scott Lang said in a slur of words, having some unfamiliar guy in tow behind him.
“This are my buddies! Barnes and—“
“Leave Lang. Now.” Bucky said with icy venom.
You didn’t have to look to know that Bucky’s cold tone was enough to do the job as the door slammed shut again.
You wished you could follow Scott out of the situation, but you couldn’t. You took a deep breath, summoned your courage, and downed your drink in one fell swoop.
You shut your eyes right and clenched your jaw a moment as the liquor burned down your throat.
“I’m in love with you.”
The silence that followed there after was deafening. You opened your eyes and looked at Bucky. His expression was soft, his eyes a bit wide with the information, but there wasn’t any hint of anger or disgust.
“I…” he began, “I don’t deserve that.”
His eyes finally looked away from you, as if it was his turn to be embarrassed. His turn to feel ashamed.
“Look, you’ve been everything to me lately. You’ve put up with me when other people wouldn’t— when other people haven’t. You’ve cared for me, truly cared… and it’s lit a fire in my soul again. A fire I thought would forever be extinguished when Nat—- when we broke up.”
His eyes flickered towards you for a moment here and there. You held a steady gaze out towards the balcony, letting his words sink in as you felt your heart shudder at each word.
“I owe you more than I could ever pay back, and that’s why I know— I know I don’t deserve you.”
Suddenly your felt his bare fingers under your chin, his hand gently tilting you gaze to him. Tears fell down silently and touched his hand.
“Listen to me, okay, please,” he begged, his voice catching slightly, “I love you. Okay? I love you, I do. But you deserve more than me. You deserve someone whole, someone who has all the love you give them in turn equally back to you, and then some. I want what’s best for you, and I know deep down that I am not that.”
You did everything in your power to not turn into a whimpering mess, you held his gaze, ignoring the tears. You took a ragged breath and moved your chin enough for him to drop his hand.
“Tell me about her.”
Bucky sighed and put his hands in his pocket.
“She’s nice. Has her own issues, but she’s more like me. Broken like me.”
You nodded, wiping at your face in vain. The tears kept coming, even if you didn’t feel sad. Even though you were pissed.
“I’m happy for you,” you said as happily as possible. You took a step towards the door but he moved in front of you, gently placing his hands on your shoulders.
“Wait, please.”
You didn’t fight him. You met his gaze in defiance and you swore you could have seen a smile creep on his lips.
“There she is,” he murmured.
You couldn’t help but smile a bit at him. Even though a million emotions were running through your mind at the moment, the idea staying mad with him never stuck for long. Even now.
“I need you to know how much I care about you. I need you to understand that. If you hate me for it afterward then I can live with it,” you opened your mouth to tell him you could never hate him but he kept going as if to purposefully stop you.
“I would still be in a very dark place if it wasn’t for you. I value your life significantly more than mine. I would die for you, I would kill for you. You are everything to me and more and I am so honored to be loved by you. I treasure you, I adore you, but I am no good for you. Please understand that. You deserve so much more than I have to offer. And I would hate myself if I broke your heart. And I would. I already have. And I hate myself.”
Suprisingling the tears stopped. You looked at Bucky and studied his face. He was sincere. He was broken, that you already knew. He had more ghosts than anyone else could ever imagine, and past that haunted him daily. But he was Bucky. And he was kind and he was gentle, and he was fierce and loyal.
And you loved him.
That feeling would not easily go away, no matter how much Bucky might wish for it to. But you decided then that you would hold onto that feeling for now. Even though he warned you, had told you he did not want anything further. It would be harsh. It would be devastating. It would be soul crushing.
But it would be yours.
“I think I need some time.”
That was all you said further. His hands dropped from your shoulders and you walked back into the fray of the party. You could feel his eyes on you as you walked through the lobby. People were dancing and drinking and laughing and having a blast. You walked past them all, not paying them any mind. Nat found you, tried to talk to you but you just brushed her off as you found the elevator.
You held yourself straight. Composed. Even when the door to the elevator closed and you were alone. Even when you walked down your corridor and found your way into your dark apartment. It wasn’t until you changed from your party clothes into your sleepwear, curled up in your bed, alone in the dark, that you began to cry.
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only Ducky & Bunny's daughter would have prepared a special moment on her birthday
Fifty Five
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.
Word count: 1,280
Warnings: angst, heavy use of pet names. fluff. swearing. short and pretty much a filler sorry
A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.
Masterlist Series Masterlist
It's been ten years since Grace and Bunny's Haven opened, since then the manor went under construction adding another floor for more rooms, they had more women and children seeking safety than they had room for.
Robin was the only one that was still there from when the doors opened, the others finding freedom when their abuses went to prison or by moving far away with the help from Y/n. Robin asked to stay saying that she seemed to have found her calling, who was Y/n to say no to her?
Y/n was proud of who the young woman had turned into over the years. She had even paid for Robin to go to school, Robin got her degree in psychology and became a counsellor at the Haven, Y/n threw a party when Robin graduated, sitting front row and centre when the girl went onto stage. Robin would sometimes call her mom, apologising straight away but Y/n would wave her off.
Y/n walked down the hallway smiling as she heard the children laughing in the playroom, Lily and Rose eight year old twins of one of the women who had come to the Haven a few months back were sitting on the stairs smiling and waving at her when she walked past.
As she came outside her steps halted at seeing Georgia and Billy kissing.
Yep that was happening. When Georgia turned fifteen Billy asked her out, Y/n, Bucky, Wanda and Vis watched as the sixteen year old turned bright red as he asked Georgia to be his girlfriend. Georgias face was bright red too as she nodded and said yes.
A year ago they had moved into an apartment together and from what Georgia had told Y/n everything was perfect between them. Y/n promised Billy that she wouldn’t say anything about him getting Georgia an engagement ring.
“Kissing on the job is really bad you know?” She said laughing when the pair jumped apart from each other.
“Hi mom didn’t see you there”
“Because you was busy trying to eat Bilbos face off that’s why”
“S-sorry Y/n” Billy spluttered nervously.
“Sure you are. Anyways get back to work we’ve got a new family coming today”
“Where’s dad?” Georgia asks following behind Y/n hand in Billy’s.
“Probably trying to eat the cake I told him specifically not to eat”
And sure enough that’s how they found him.
“Bunny where are you?”
“Kitchen”
“Is Georgia with you?”
“No”
Bucky strolls in with a box with a new cake after he and Steve ate the other. Kissing Y/n on her cheek before placing the box on the side. “How’s the new family settling in?”
“Good, I’ve rang Graham to see if they have an electric wheelchair I can buy as the youngest child’s wheelchair is damaged and I was thinking if he had an electric one that he could feel more free, you know?”
“What did Graham say?”
“Dropping it off tomorrow, I told Kim about it and she burst out crying, I felt so bad”
Wrapping his arms around Y/n he started dancing with her. “That’s good and probably because she’s overwhelmed Bunny, I read her file and it was bad”
“It was. Anyway what are you up to?”
“Dancing with my beautiful wife, what about you?”
“Dancing with my beautiful husband?”
“Aw you think I’m beautiful? That’s so sweet”
“Oh shut up and hold me closer”
Complying with her wishes he holds her closer to his chest, her head on his chest listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart they continue to dance around the kitchen.
Both completely unaware that Georgia was standing at the archway to the kitchen. Ever since she was little she loved seeing her parents dance, Bucky would always have his fingers playing with her moms long curly hair as they slow danced together. Half of the time there was never any music playing.
“I love you Bunny”
“I love you Ducky”
“I love you Georgia, aw I love you too mom and dad” Bucky looks up to see their daughter standing there, he gives her an amused smile before sticking his tongue out at her.
“You know we love you Georgie moo”
“Mom” Georgia whined at the nickname.
“Aw Bunny our Georgie moo don’t like it when you call her that”
“Oh no what will we do?”
“I don’t know you know? How about you go left and I’ll go right?”
“You got it”
When they look over at Georgia her eyes widen at seeing the mischievous glint in their eyes, before she has chance to back away her parents separate from each other, her mom going left and her dad going right.
Georgia starts to run whilst laughing at her parents who chase after her, loud giggles fill the empty house when Y/n grabs her and tickles her until they both fall on to the ground. Bucky joins in by tickling Y/n, knowing how ticklish she was.
They all go quiet when the front door comes open and Billy pops his head around the wooden door. “A-are you all okay?”
“Mom go left, dad go right and I’ll go straight” Georgia says quietly, all three get up and slowly walk towards Billy.
“No no no leave me alone guys please” Billy pleads but it was no use. He screams when all three of them practically pounce on him.
Bucky, Steve, Sam and Vis were on grill duty whilst the women talked about everything and anything. It was Georgias twentieth birthday and they were having a barbecue just like she asked for.
“Auntie Y/n c-can I talk to you for a second please?”
“No she’s my wifey!”
“Ignore your mom Billy Bob, of course what’s up?”
“P-privately please”
“Okay, help me up though I’m old” Billy takes her hand and helps her stand and they go inside into the kitchen. “What’s up bubs?”
“I-I-I was thinking about proposing to Georgia today, what do you think?”
“Do it! Oh Billy that’s amazing, do you have the ring with you?”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course, are you sure?”
“I love her more than anything Y/n, I swear”
“Then do it darling because I know she loves you just as much”
“O-o-okay I’m g-going to do it”
After agreeing with Y/n that he should do it after they’ve had something to eat they step back outside together, both ignoring the questioning looks from everyone.
An hour later when everyone’s bellies were full and satisfied Billy starts to stand, his eyes going straight to look at Y/n he releases a stuttering breath when she nods and smiles.
“G-Georgia can you come here a second please?”
“Okay, you alright?”
“I love you, I really love you and I was wondering i-if you would-“ Billy lets go of her hand kneeling as he pulls out a box out of his pocket “-Georgia Maria Grace Winnie Barnes will you marry me, please?” Billy asked as their family watched from the background, Wanda and Y/n clinging onto each other waiting for Georgia’s reply.
“Billy…this is awkward” hearing Georgia’s voice everyone’s hearts dropped to their stomachs, Y/n wanted to go over to hold Billy in her arms as soon as she saw his eyes glisten with tears.
“O-oh I-I’m sor-“
“No no no, it’s awkward because well-“ everyone gasped when they see Georgia getting down on one knee too, pulling a box out of her pocket “-I was going to ask you the same thing”
“Ah, well ask me then”
“Billy Maximoff will you marry me, please?”
“Yes. What about you?”
“Of course I’ll marry you”
The whole backyard erupts in cheers as the young couple exchanges rings and kiss.
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Oh My Gaw! this is an incredible series that I binged in 36 hrs and it was completely worth is
Over the Garden Wall - Masterlist
Benedict Bridgerton x Princess!Reader
18+
Summary: The youngest daughter of Queen Charlotte and King George, plagued by the same illness as her father, grows tired of her lonely and isolated existence. When escaping the prison-like castle she has been sequestered in for her entire life, she meets a young man who shares her love for painting and whom she can not stop thinking about. Secrets, betrayal, and love all fight against one another. Which one will win?
Series Warnings: Love at first sight; POV third person; eventual smut; isolation; dramatic/inaccurate depictions of mental illness; thoughts of death; there will be fluff, okay? I swear; potential historical inaccuracies; complex mother/daughter relationship; historical medical practices; SIMP Benedict; idgaf about historical canon; complicated sibling relationships; execution by hanging
Tags specified before each chapter
(Tags will be updated as the story continues)
Last Updated: 03/28/24 (Complete)
*indicates smut
Chapter One - Loathing Boredom
Chapter Two - Ruinous Secrets
Chapter Three - Never is a Promise
Chapter Four - As the Poets Say
Chapter Five - Vagrant Body
Chapter Six - Codes and Clues
Chapter Seven - Dig My Fingers in
Chapter Eight - No Light of My Own
Chapter Nine - This Sweet Plague *
Chapter Ten - Tricked By the Past
Chapter Eleven - No Label, No Name
Chapter Twelve - Keeping Time
Chapter Thirteen - Only You Can Mend
Chapter Fourteen - Not Above Violence
Interlude - Lady Whistledown
Chapter Fifteen - Matching Wounds
Chapter Sixteen - Go Along to Be With You
Chapter Seventeen - Balanced on Desire
Interlude - Marietta
Chapter Eighteen - Oh, My One
Chapter Nineteen - Like Fuel to Fire *
Chapter Twenty - If I Send for You
Interlude - Honeymoon *
Chapter Twenty One - An Atom and a Star
Chapter Twenty Two - The Bed I Was Born In *
Chapter Twenty Three - Don't Wait to Understand
Chapter Twenty Four - Fingers Laced a Crown
Chapter Twenty Five - Here to Kingdom Come *
Epilogue - A Moment, A Love
Drabble - Pall Mall
Drabble - Picnic
Drabble - Like Mother, Like Son
Drabble - Jealousy
Drabble - More Than a Maid
Drabble - Coronation Day
Drabble - Second Son
Drabble - Number Four
Drabble - Reasonably Unreasonable
Drabble - Tag, You're It
Drabble - Sisters
Drabble - Spoiled
Drabble - Opal of the Season
Drabble - Fit for Family
Drabble - Garden in Bloom * (smut adjacent)
Drabble - What if? AU
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such an incredible series so far!!
Lost in Translation: C. Bridgerton Masterlist
pairing: colin bridgerton x enemy!fem!reader
status: ongoing
It took precisely two days in England for you to utterly despise Colin Bridgerton. It took him approximately twelve hours after that to hate you right back. But he doesn't care that you're the only person in the ton who doesn't like him. You're set to marry someone else anyway, right?
Family Tree (sort of)
Chapter 1 - if a man talks shit then I owe him nothing
Chapter 2 - I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
Chapter 3 - they say looks can kill and I might try
Chapter 4 - coming soon...
navi tags:
lost in translation (everything related to the fic)
lost in translation: writing (only full length chapters)
lost in translation: rambles (me talking ab the fic)
lost in translation: asks (asks related to the fic)
Get added to the taglist!
buy me a ko-fi!
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the response from his dad or Walt, I can't tell "I'm not eating 1 iota of shit!"
Hearing Chris Evans cuss when he as Captain America said “language” is absolutely hilarious!
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I honestly need reader to go on a date with Argyle so Steve can step up and get his head out of his ass
to my dwoht readers, what are your predictions for the story? 🤭
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