“Don’t feel bad for knowing you deserve more.”

— Unknown

“You often feel tired, not because you’ve done too much, but because you’ve done too little of what sparks a light in you.”

— Unknown

As I continue on my journey to learning how to take care of myself. I stumble upon a new challenge.

I noticed the difficulty in taking care of yourself while taking care of others, as sometimes taking care of others means you have to put yourself aside first.

It really takes a toll on your energy, the mental and physical effort of taking care of others, as you spend your energy on others by the end of the day you won't have any left for you. As I grow older that energy seems to keep getting more and more scarce.

I started from learning how to take care of myself, and it's good progress that I am now confident that I can bounce back from feelings of losses. It's also good that I've been learning how to take care of myself, however I think I need to take my time getting used to it first and not get complacent and assume that I would be able to handle taking care of others just because I can take care of myself better than I used to before, as I am still new to this feeling of trying to be a green flag to myself; I do realize now that I have a long way to go.

Right now as I write this, I somewhat have an appreciation for the imperfection of people. I don't think we will ever reach perfection. I do know that growing up, and I have convinced myself that trying anyway is what helps us improve ourselves.

But what's the use of being a better version of yourself when you can't be better for the ones you love? Then again I'm not yet a better version of me that I hope to be.

If your father cheated it is called truma?

I don't think so but the consequences of that action to your surrounding environment (Ex: Mother separating from family, parents having arguments because of cheating) could.

I wanted this to be forever.

slowly accepting the fact that life doesn’t always go the way we want

I Feel Better

I haven't been able to post as much as I would like to on my Tumblr due to focusing on bettering my mental health. I found that the less time I spend on social media then the less I felt negative emotions or mental disarray.

Spend less time on social media and you expose yourself less to things you don't need to think about. You get to focus your attention on the immediate issues you actually need to deal with like doing your laundry, cleaning your room, working out, etc.

I have plenty of personal issues I need to deal with, but my #1 priority was my mental health. Specifically me listening to my own thoughts, and understanding them and responding accordingly.

By reducing my screen time, I gave myself the opportunity to listen more to what I'm unconsciously thinking and feeling (they weren't good), and create a plan to clean myself up mentally. This in turn, reduced the frequency and intensity of the negative emotional experiences. This doesn't mean I don't experience it anymore. It just doesn't occur as much as it used to.

Before I finish, I would like to end this by being straightforward and say that you should probably stop following and liking content that triggers you to feel sad and angry. Specifically content that affirms pessimistic views about the world if you really wanted to feel better. It might feel rewarding or comforting to know that some quotes are relatable. But by doing so, you also confirm your negative views which then reinforce the negative emotions that you feel. Which only affirms your negative views, and then it becomes a cycle of constant reinforcement of the negative.

This is a sign to take charge of your happiness, the significance of this post depends on how much social media is a part of your life.

Be motivated to take action by positive reasons instead of being driven by fear trying to avoid a negative possibility.

“you do not need to explain your decisions to anybody if you don’t feel comfortable doing so”

— Unknown

“Sometimes it’s better not to look back.”

— Ransom Riggs

“Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting. It means you choose happiness over hurt.”

— powerofspeech

“No matter what happens, no matter how far you seem to be away from where you want to be, never stop believing that you will somehow make it. Have an unrelenting belief that things will work out, that the long road has a purpose, that the things that you desire may not happen today, but they will happen. Continue to persist and persevere.”

— Brad Gast

“Worrying won’t stop bad things from happening. It only stops you from enjoying the good.”

— Unknown