Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go,

Samwell Tarly

You’ll think of me every time you go to bed. Then you’ll get hard and you’ll have no one to help you and you’ll never be able to sleep unless you”— she grinned that wicked grin Tyrion liked so well—“ is that why they call it the Tower of the Hand, m’lord?

Shae

The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.

George R.R. Martin

This would make a wonderful interrogation chamber. Tight quarters. No air, bad lighting, random electric shocks. It’s perfect.

Ramsay Bolton, A Dance with Dragons (via incorrectgotquotes)

He had a penchant for loudly announcing the obvious.

George R. R. Martin

Where it promptly shat

Samwell Tarley

Inside the room, a man and a woman were wrestling

Bran Stark

The eunuch turned his back on the steeltipped rain, lowered his trousers , squatted, and shat in the direction of the city.

Daenerys Targaryen

He sucks harder than mine.

Samwell Tarley

Lord Tywin Lannister did not, in the end, shit gold.

Tyrion Lannister