Backup person

Have you ever felt like the backup girl/boy? Have you been one and not have known? What does the backup person mean? There are so many question that could be asked about being the backup person. Here is my take on it. The backup person isn't someone you love. You really can't love that person. I'm not saying you can't. More like how can you admit to love someone when in your head and heart you know that you ran to this person for a backup. Someone once told me they had backups for all their relationships. What kind of person does that? From my experience, only those that only care bout themselves have backups to protect themselves. I feel like the backup person. A boy I really care about and like is with someone else. That boy was with me, but left me for the other girl. We were never in a relationship, but we spent a months and days together. Right now it seems as though I'm a backup girl for him. He leans on me, confines in me and so on as though I'm with him. Realizing you are one is the worst feeling in the world. You feel used and something that someone can return to if they need you. In my situation, what makes everything worst is the fact that I'm the backup and so is he in his relationship. How I feel is important, but the thought of who is the backup for him is for her overpower how I feel about myself. Now what I need to think about is how do I stop being the backup and begin to put myself first. To those who feel like the backup. Start thinking of yourself. Don't be someone that is walked on. To those who have backups. You have no conscience, think bout the person you are using. How would you feel if you were being used?

Hello...

I'm starting this blog to kind of vent my problems and at the same time get some advice from all you other bloggers. I'm staying anoymous, so I don't get people coming at me in my life. Everything I write will be true with some things held back so no one can figure out who I really am. I'm gonna be writing hopefully once a week. Wish me luck and share your thoughts with me =]

I'll tell you a little about me. I'm girl that really isn't sure where she fits in life or how to deal with life. This past year I went through a lot. Lost lots of friends, forgot who I am, fell in love and got my heart broken. In life I don't want be the rich or famous, I want to be happy and loved. This might sound stupid, but if I could have those two things I know that I can fight through everything.

Whoever is reading this...I want you to know that I'm opening my  heart up. Something I'm extremely scared to do now.