stilltheonethatcant
StillTheOneThatCant
23, 120lbs, 5'9'', a sad thing
151 posts
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Thought it would be fun to put some caramel sauce in my latte tonight. I was wrong lol.
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My dad is here so there are more pastries in the house, more food in general and I loose my inhibition's. On top of emotional destress from personal issues I think I’m being punished.
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You know when our body subconsciously does things? Like how you always seem to wake up at the same time, even if you try to sleep in? Or how you know when you’re about to catch a fever just by the slight change of how you smell and taste your breakfast that morning?
How about that subtitle shift when you suddenly start wearing more sweaters and loose t-shirts instead of things that normally make you feel cute? When you don’t really think too much about the food you eat but then suddenly you think too much about the food you eat. Or how you dread taking off any articles of clothing like when you need to use the bathroom or change into your pajamas because you notice how slightly tighter your clothes feel than normal...
Its always moments like this that get me. When you’ve gained weight, not enough to be visually noticed in a casual setting or even thought about in every waking moment. But enough that in those moments, you are fully aware of your failures and the disappointment is immeasurable.
#I have to change in the dark now#Or take a deep breath before lifting my shirt over my head#ed#mental health#ana#thin#skinny#dissorder
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I’m a 23 yo who is mad at her mom because confirming when she gets home to have dinner after not eating all day and timing when dinner would be done, she hasn't even left work and wont let you eat until she gets home. Is it stupid to be on the verge of tears for this, or am I just that hungry
#now my ed thoughts are flooding in again and now i dont even know if should eat or starve out of petty anger#ed
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*Me giving in and telling my bf about my destructive habits*
Bf: “Do you still do those things?”
Me: “No” *she lied*
#A moment of weakness#I just dont want people in my life to worry#or drag them into my problems like that
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Sometimes when I’m sad and mourning my life, I like to just step on the scale after a full day of eating just to spice things up a bit.
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Resenting the male gaze but also being obsessed with how you’re perceived by others
Margaret Atwood /// Susan Sontag /// Real Men - Mitski /// Shame is an Ocean I Swim Across - Mary Lambert /// Birds of Prey (2020) /// post by jitterati /// Liquid Smooth - Mitski /// Jennifer’s Body (2009) /// Bravado - Lorde /// Diagnosis - Cynthia Cruz
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Woke up and decided to eat breakfast, 2 slices of toast and a watered down coffee.
My digestive system immediately became super irritated and after a very uncomfortable bathroom trip. I now regret trying to even consider eating... Work is going to be hell today
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when the vampire lady is trying to seduce you but you’re workin through stuff
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the gender envy i feel for teenage boys in 80s movies is insane
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The kids at my work told me that they thought I was a boy when they first met me and I’ve never felt so validated in my life
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They way there are people on my dash getting up on their high horse about people still posting normal content right now....... Mind boggling. We are on tumblr
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have you ever seen a tweet that just knocks you the fuck out
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