i haven't been on this thing in two years, but just wanted to say i have a bachelor in physics now. and adhd it turns out. i'm still chronically ill. life is great. also thank you to tumblr for exposing me to what bad discourse looks like and letting me build up an immune system against radical ideas since i first was on here at like eleven years old (mentioning it since i just went to an event with a panel discussing trans rights, luckily along with other queer people).

I keep accidentally finding cool teapots

18apr2021

Well I’m going to need new markers for my whiteboard

Thursday evening fit.

I can’t decide whether I should study or sunbathe 🌞

What I really lack is to be clear in my mind what I am to do...the thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live and die.

- Søren Kierkegaard, Journals 1836

bye imma move into a hut and become a forest witch 🧙‍♀️

photos under my "dream home" board in pinterest.

The Real Life Kusakabe House From Studio Ghibli’s My Neighbour Totoro

A full-scale replica of Satsuki and Mei’s house from My Neighbor Totoro was created for the World’s Fair held near Nagoya, in Aichi Commemorative Park, Japan. Hayao Miyazaki’s son Goro designed and oversaw the house’s construction. Tickets for guided tours are available. 

Sunday study session with my bestie 💕

Returned to my dorm yesterday. I just couldn’t concentrate on my paper with my family and friends around. Hopefully I’ll finish it until the deadline.

21.07.20 // long time no see, friends. It’s hard to run a studyblr when I’m not studying - not doing much at all really. My mental and physical health hasn’t been doing to great but I’m working on it and trying to get ready for uni come October. Last year of uni! Gosh, how scary eek. Right now I’ve been working on actually writing again, which is a bit of a shock to my system. I love it though

Also!! Redecorated my desk space and organised my book shelves. Very happy with it 📚

— and at once, i knew i was not magnificent

celebrations are in order! 100+ of you now follow me ! i will officially be tracking the hashtag #merciful study ! I'm so glad to have so many of you along with me on my study journey !

but why is it that when people talk about internalized misogyny it’s always girls who hate on girls who are super feminine and never girls who mock other girls for not wearing makeup or having visible body hair? i dont think girls who think they’re not like most girls are the #1 enforcers of patriarchy

june 18, 2021

stydying for my last exam, electromagnetism and optics! i’m so excited for next semester honestly, my courses are quantum mechanics, further mechanics, fourier analysis and my astro-subject stars and planets. i think i’m more excited about next semester than summer break, but i’ll probably start looking into quantum over the summer

Rules of Nature #3

i’ve been happy for a couple days in a row, like mainly happy, that quiet kind that is loving the people around me and starting to have peace of mind about both where i am at and the future. learning my friend to play the piano with a glass of red wine besides me, spending two hours fixing a sewing machine for another. eating homemade bread with red currant jelly deciding to go to my first party with new people since covid hit, the bittersweet feeling of friends graduating and moving away before we got enough time together. students outside the window dragging a sofa in the least efficient way, but making bad decisions as a team. two friends in one week admitting they have reached out to therapists and me being able to reinforce the good choice and ease their worries, even though i hated therapy intensely (from the right kind of pain that says it’s working, that is). knowing the city won’t fall apart into ruins if i decide to leave for vacation. my little brother turning eighteen soon enough that my family holds no power over me. the new fancy medication running through my body holding my over-active immune system at bay, reminding me to keep in mind that every part of me likes to do a thorough job even if it hurts me. realizing i built up enough support that the break-up with the sweetest guy didn’t send me into a spiral, even if it was the right choice. realizing i can do nothing but love the people around me even after my mom come too close to dying. rethinking why i study physics and realizing i love it as much as i did in high school when i was going through an even tougher time. and that i’ve learned a lot in two years of uni.

connecting with a new therapist, such that if things ever get worse i won’t have to wait for months again, just make a phone call. and it not feeling like a defeat, because it shouldn’t be.