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sourstilinski · 2 years

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Are You With Me? (Draco x y/n) Chapter 11

Summary: Y/N is a Slytherin muggle born. She's used to her house ostracizing her due to her blood status and her friendship with the Golden Trio, especially Draco Malfoy. But during their fifth year, they discover they might need each other more than they think

Read Previous Chapters HERE

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You're down by the Black Lake, walking hand in hand with Draco. The sun is shining, the grass is greener than ever, it's quite literally a perfect day.

You're rambling on about something you read in your History of Magic textbook when Draco pulls you forward, spinning you around to his chest to face him.

"You're such a nerd." He chuckles, pecking you on the lips.

You roll your eyes playfully. "You love it."

"Yes I do." He grins. "And I love you."

Before you can respond, the sky darkens suddenly. Thunder sounds as thick and heavy black clouds roll into the once clear sky.

Draco stiffens. "I have to go." He starts walking away from you, towards the forest.

"Draco, wait!" You start to follow him.

He stops, looking up at the sky. You follow his gaze and are horrified by what you see. The sinister Dark Mark swirls high above our heads. Lightning crackles, illuminating the mark.

Draco turns back to you. "I have to go. He's calling me." He starts walking away again but you take off after him. Just as you're about to catch up to him, he disappears. He just vanishes into thin air.

"Draco! Draco!" You keep walking, yelling his name.

"Y/n."

You freeze, turning around. There's no one there.

"Y/n."

It's not Draco's voice.

"Y/n!"

You jolt up, breathing heavily. Harry's beside you, leaned over your bed. You look around frantically. You're not in the forest. You're in a bed, in a tent. You look across the tent to see Ron and Hermione sleeping peacefully on two other beds.

"Y/n, are you alright? You were having a nightmare." Harry's eyes rake over you, concerned.

You push the blankets off of you. "I'm fine. I just need some air." You grab a sweatshirt and pull your shoes on before heading outside into the cold night air.

You walk a little bit away from a tent, taking deep breaths. It's pitch black out here but you know your breath is coming out in little white puffs. You lean against a tree and let out a huge sigh.

So much has happened over the past several months. After your relationship with Draco ended, you were a wreck. You couldn't understand why he wouldn't let you help him, let you be there for him. He didn't want that life, you knew that. So why did he choose it over you?

You were distraught when he left with the Death Eaters after Snape killed Dumbledore. You have worried about his safety ever since. You didn't even know if he was alive. All you could do was hope.

Once you were in on the plan to search for Horcruxes, you and Hermione hatched up your plan and decided it would be best to obliviate both of your families' memories. It would be easier, considering they were muggles and not involved with the coming war. If anything happened to you, you wouldn't want your parents to know. They didn't deserve to live the rest of their lives, grieving you.

After the deed had been done, you said goodbye to your childhood home and never looked back. Before, you had thought the greatest pain you would ever feel was when Draco broke up with you. Now, you know better. Because pointing your wands at the back of your parents and sister's head was almost too much to bear.

You and the trio have been on the run for quite some time now, trying to destroy the remaining Horcruxes. You've done some of the most insane things, things you would have never done in normal circumstances. But you really just wanted all of this to be over. You grieved for your old life, a life you would never see again.

The trio is the light of your dark life. No matter what has happened, they have always been there and you will always be grateful for that. Even though this definitely isn't the ideal situation, these last several months have made the four of you closer than ever. Harry, in particular, has been your best friend throughout this time. As if on cue, he appears behind you.

"Hey, you doing okay?"

You nod. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream."

"It was about him again, wasn't it?"

You swallow the lump in your throat. "Yeah."

It's silent for a few moments before you speak again.

"Back at school, you knew that Draco and I were seeing each other. But you never said anything to anyone. Why?"

He shrugs. "It wasn't my secret to tell y/n. I knew you would eventually tell us. I'll admit, I was upset in the beginning. But I saw how you two were, even though you tried to hide it. You guys were in love."

"Yeah," you say wistfully. "We were." You pause, trying not to let your heart ache too much at the thought what used to be. "But it's over now. And I have to accept that."

"What are you guys doing out here?"

You turn around to see Ron and Hermione approaching, the tips of their wands lit.

"I woke up and didn't see the two of you," Hermione says, relieved. "I thought something might've happened."

"Yeah and she dragged me out of bed to search for you two," Ron quips. He was never one who liked to be woken up from his sleep.

You quickly apologize. "Sorry, I just had a nightmare."

Ron looks at you knowingly before scoffing. "Come on, y/n. You can't seriously still be hung up on Malfoy."

"Let's not do this now," Hermione starts.

Ron ignores her. "He's part of the reason we're stuck in this mess y/n. He's a bloody Death Eater and you're heartbroken over him? It's been months since he left. Months since we've left! And the worst part is, you were still willing to be with him after you found out! Like you were okay with it!"

"I was never okay with it! I was trying to help him!" You protest.

"He made his decision, there was no helping him."

You swallow hard. "He didn't have a choice."

Ron's eyes find yours in the darkness. "There's always a choice y/n."

"Ron, let's go back to sleep, alright? This isn't the time for this. You're not feeling like yourself." Harry's eyes flick to the locket around Ron's neck.

Ron ignores Harry as well. "And what were you going to do if he accepted your help? What was your plan then?"

"I-I don't know," you stammer. The truth was you didn't know. You just wanted him to stay so desperately, you probably would've done everything in your power to try and fix his situation. "I would've figured something out."

"It's not like you have any real experience with dangerous plans and situations," He continues. "What could you have done?"

"I don't know Ron!" You interrupt, almost full-on yelling now. "But I would've tried anything and everything because I cared about him!" Tears prick the corners of your eyes. "And maybe I would have some real experience if I wasn't constantly being left out by the 'Golden Trio.' You guys have never trusted me with your secret plans. You barely trust me at all!"

Hermione tries to calm you down. "Y/n, you know that's not true. You've been so incredibly helpful with the Horcruxes. It was always just hard at school, with us being in different houses, you know."

And that was true. At least partly. You weren't able to see them as often as they were able to see each other because you were in a different house. But it wasn't just that. No matter how much they valued your friendship, they always treated you a bit differently. You knew they cared about you. But you also knew if it really came down to it, they would sacrifice you to save each other.

You think back to Ron's words at the Sorting Ceremony in first year. "There isn't a witch or wizard who went bad that wasn't in Slytherin." Minutes later, the Sorting Hat called Slytherin upon your head. You watched the three sets of eyes of your new friends, Gryffindor hats sat atop their heads, as they watched you take a seat at the Slytherin table. You didn't know it back then, but the look in their eyes was the same. Apprehension.

Even if it was subconsciously, they always held the fact that you were in Slytherin over your head. It gave them a reason not to include you, not to totally let you in. It gave them an out. They were nervous that you were going to turn on them. As you look at their faces now, in the dim glow of light from your wand tips, you realize that they still feel that way.

"No, it was always just hard for the three of you to be friends with a Slytherin." Your voice is calm but steely. "Because Slytherins are all bad right? Especially ones who fall in love with Draco Malfoy."

You push off the tree you were leaning on and head back towards the tent. "I'm going to sleep."

Super short chapter, I know! I just really wanted to post something since being on my hiatus. I am slowly starting to write again so I am not abandoning this story so don't worry. Expect updates to be slower than they have been in the past. Thanks for reading!

#harry potter imagine #draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x slytherin!reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco x reader #harry potter #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #draco malfoy x you #hermione granger #ron weasley #hogwarts #hogwarts houses #golden trio

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sourstilinski · 2 years

Text

Draco Malfoy x Slytherin Reader

Tumblr Fanfic Recommendations

Disclaimers!

None of the stories linked below are mine.

Some contain mature content.

Image not mine.

Female readers.

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Summary: Pansy is jealous of reader and her relationship with Draco. So Pansy tries to imitate reader.

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Summary: Draco has a teasing relationship with the reader--they playfully argue and go back and forth but never acknowledge the fact that there may be something more. Draco notices her pulling back and becoming more reserved. He follows her out of the dining hall one day to find her having a breakdown over a dark secret.

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sourstilinski · 2 years

Text

Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff Reader Part 2

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Disclaimers!

None of the stories linked below are mine.

Readers are female.

Image is not mine.

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sourstilinski · 2 years

Text

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Tumblr Fanfic Recommendations

Disclaimers!

None of the stories linked below are mine.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Because of You

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Summary: When news of the relationship between (y/n) (l/n) and Draco Malfoy came out, it shocked the entire school. Staff and Students were equally surprised that the Slytherin Prince was in love with the kindest girl in the school.

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Draco x female!Reader

Summary: Draco knew there was something wrong when (Y/N) started fawning over a Weasley. Why the hell did she decide to like a Weasley when he was just about to ask her out?

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sourstilinski · 2 years

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Hey everyone,

I know you’re all wondering where chapter 11 of my draco fic Are You With Me is.

It’s coming I promise but I’ve just been taking a bit of a break. I’m currently going through my first heartbreak and it has been ROUGH. So I’ve been finding it especially hard to write about y/n’s heartache with draco

But it will be coming soon! I just need to throw myself into writing and finish it. The only bright side is that I’ll be able to relate to what I’m writing about a whole lot more!

Thank you for being so patient with me, I love you guys 🤍🤍

#draco lucius malfoy #draco malfoy #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x slytherin!reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco x reader #harry potter #harry potter imagine

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sourstilinski · 2 years

Note

Hi 👋 hope you’re doing well!

Just wanted to ask when you’re posting the chapter 11 ?

Im so excited 😆

You’re so sweet! Chapter 11 should be up by the end of next week (hopefully) I’m planning to start drafting it this weekend. Thank you so much for reading!

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sourstilinski · 2 years

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Are You With Me? (Draco x y/n) Chapter 10

Read Previous Chapters HERE

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"No, Harry. There's no way."

"Y/n, please. We could all be in danger." Harry's eyes bore into yours, pleading.

"I'm not going to get information out of Draco for you. I'm not spying on my boyfriend to see if he's a Death Eater," you hiss.

The two of you are seated in the library. It's raining outside, the harsh pitter patter of rain pounding the stain glass windows. Christmas break is approaching in the coming weeks, meaning exams are also on the way. Every Hogwarts student has already started the long journey of studying. Hermione started two weeks ago.

"I know it's not what you want to hear but I know he is. I just need to know what he's up to. He keeps disappearing on the map."

Your eyes widen. "You're spying on him?"

"We don't have a choice y/n. He's up to something, I know it."

You sigh. "Listen, Harry...I know you don't like him-"

"This isn't about liking him! This is about him working for Voldemort."

The desperation is crystal clear in Harry's voice and face. But you can't do what he's asking of you.

"I'm sorry, but you're on your own."

Harry's face falls but he understands. No matter how much he doesn't like it, you care about the blonde headed Slytherin. You can't betray your boyfriend like that. Besides, he's not a Death Eater. He would never do that, especially not to you. He loves you. He's just under a lot of stress right now with his family. He might be a little depressed, but there's no way he's joined Him. Draco wouldn't do that. He's not a Death Eater.

Right?

After finally getting some studying done, you make the journey down to the Slytherin common room. You haven't seen Draco all day so you walk past your own bedroom door and stop outside of his at the end of the hall. You knock three times and immediately hear rustling from inside. The door opens halfway and there he is.

For the first time, you see how tired and drained he looks. There's dark circles below his eyes which are rimmed red, as if he'd been crying. He perks up slightly when he sees you though, opening the door wider for you to come in.

"Is everything okay?" You step across the threshold as he closes the door behind you. You take a seat on the bed and he sits down beside you.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I've just been studying, I'm a little tired." Even his voice sounds exhausted.

"I haven't seen you all day," you say. "I feel like I saw more of you when we were seeing each other in secret." You laugh sadly.

He shrugs. "I've just been busy."

You sigh. He's closing off to you. He's been doing this more and more frequently. Every day, it's like the old Draco you knew was slipping away. You're worried that it's only a matter of time before he's gone for good.

"What did you do today?" He changes the subject. He always does this. The stubbornness in you wants to push him to tell you something, anything. But the kind and understanding part of you wins over. Like it does every time.

"I just came back from studying with Harry."

"Along with Granger and Weasel-bee?"

"No, just me and Harry."

His body stiffens. He stands abruptly, and walks over to his desk. He sits down, his back facing you as he flips through an open textbook.

"Draco? Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine," he says over his shoulder. "I just figured that you might rather study with Potter. I mean, it's not like you haven't seen me all day."

You scoff. "You're the one that's been avoiding me since we came back to school. And when we finally are together, you don't exactly seem thrilled to see me."

"Then go spend time with Potter then. No one's stopping you."

"Why are you so jealous of Harry?" You blurt out.

He lets out a loud laugh, a mocking one. He turns his chair to face you. "Ha! You think I'm jealous of that loser Potter? He should be jealous of me!"

"And it kills you that he isn't, doesn't it? It kills you that he doesn't give a shit about you or your money, or your popularity, or your blood status. Because he should be jealous of you, right? Everyone wants to be you because everyone is beneath you. Because you're a Malfoy, right?"

His jaw clenches. You know your words are harsh but you couldn't stop them from coming out. You also knew it was wrong to bring up arguments from the past but you were too upset to care. You're tired of the way he's acting. You're sick of being his girlfriend only when it's convenient for him.

"I don't think that," he says through gritted teeth. "Not anymore."

"And you continue to push me away, someone who actually cares about you," you say.

After a minute of agonizing silence, he finally speaks up.

"Potter shouldn't be jealous of me," he says softly. "If he was jealous of me, he'd be an even bigger idiot than I thought he was."

His face is sad, his voice somber. He's not even looking at you but instead looking past you. His eyes are glazed over, like he's reliving bad memories.

His eyes finally meet yours again. "I'm sorry I've been pushing you away. I'm just worried about my family. I know it's not an excuse for the way I've been towards you."

You shake your head hopelessly. "I'm just trying to be there for you. Please let me."

You rise from the bed, crossing the room towards him. You snake your hand into his, lacing your fingers together. He brings your joined hands up to his face, pressing a feather light kiss to the back of your hand. He nods, his lips brushing your fingers.

"Are you sure there's nothing else bothering you?" You're not trying to be pushy and annoying, you just care and want him to know he can tell you anything.

"Yes I'm sure. Promise."

You believed him. Maybe you shouldn't have.

***

Ever since the night of Slughorn's party, you had been seeing less and less of Draco. He claims he was gate-crashing but he had never shown any interest in the party when you brought it up. Harry had taken you as his plus-one.

You wrote to Draco over the Christmas break and surprisingly, he responded. They were short and vague but at least you weren't being ignored this time. However, you didn't feel any better about your relationship upon your return to Hogwarts either. He was disappearing again and a couple times, you swore you saw him walking the halls with these two girls you've never seen before. Was he cheating on you? Had he lost interest?

Though you didn't want to admit it, your brain often started to drift off to Harry's theory of Draco being a Death Eater. But you always pushed those thoughts away. You couldn't feed into Harry's conspiracies. Still you doubted.

Now you're seated currently in the Great Hall for lunch. Your eyes trained on the door, searching for your boyfriend. He hadn't shown up to breakfast but you figured he would have to eat eventually. You see Harry, Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor table. Usually, you would give up by now and just go sit with them but not today. You were getting more anxious about Draco's absences by the day. This time, it was going to be different. You were going to confront him about it once and for all.

A couple more students filter into the hall. Your head perks up at one but it's not the blonde you're expecting. Katie Bell. Others start noticing her, some whispering amongst themselves and others welcoming her back. Claps and cheers can be heard from the Gryffindor table.

Harry approaches her and you tense. Of course he's going to ask her who cursed her. You don't think you'll be able to stomach it if she tells him it was Draco. You watch, trying to gauge any reaction from either of their faces. Both of their gazes turn towards the large double doors. You follow their eyes. Your blood turns cold.

Draco sees Harry. Then he sees Katie. Without even a glance towards the Slytherin table, he's turning back towards the hallway. You watch in horror as Harry chases after him. You jump up from your seat to follow.

You push past clusters of students, trying to catch up but you lose them in the sea of moving staircases. You take off in the direction you saw them go but the corridor is empty. You pace back and forth, your thoughts running wild.

Draco left as soon as he saw Harry and Katie together. But why would he run? He doesn't even know Katie and he hates Harry. Why would he care about them talking? The only reason he would run is if he got caught doing something. Or if he felt scared. Or guilty. What is he guilty of concerning Harry and Katie? Draco knows who cursed Katie. Draco cursed Katie. Why would Draco curse Katie? Because he's a Death Eater. Draco is a Death Eater, he has to be.

The doors to the sixth floor bathroom burst open. You jump as Moaning Myrtle flies by you.

"MURDER!" She wails hysterically, not even noticing you there. "THERE'S BEEN A MURDER! HARRY POTTER MURDERED DRACO MALFOY!"

***

The next moments were a blur. You remember feeling like all of the air had been sucked out of your lungs. You remember Snape come running, telling you to stay outside. You remember Ron and Hermione appearing behind you, Harry exiting the bathroom looking horrified. You remember crying, screaming at Harry, pleading that Draco wasn't dead.

You don't remember how you got to where you are now: pacing the corridor outside of Snape's office. Ron and Hermione are seated on the floor. Harry has been inside Snape's office for nearly thirty minutes. Thank merlin Draco was still alive, but he was badly injured. Madam Pomfrey refused to let you see him, much to your frustration.

Finally, the door opens and out walks Harry. You make a beeline for him, fresh tears ready to fall.

"What happened?" You cry. "What did you do to him?"

"It was an accident. I didn't know what the spell would do, I swear!"

"You used a spell that you didn't know the result of?! Are you insane?" You want to punch him, but you know it's just the anger talking.

"He tried to Crucio me, I wasn't thinking. It was stupid, I feel awful." Harry pleads with you with his eyes. He looks terrified. You know that he didn't mean to hurt Draco like that. No matter how much he hates him, Harry wouldn't try to kill him ever.

"I told you about that half-blood Prince's book Harry," Hermione quips. She places a hand on your shoulder, consolingly. "You need to get rid of it. Now."

You wipe the tears from your eyes as you get ready to ask the hard question. You stare into Harry's eyes. "He's one of them, isn't he?"

Ron and Hermione both look between you and Harry, waiting for a response.

"He wouldn't try the Cruciatus curse if he didn't think he could do it," you continue, sadness laced through your voice. "He's been practicing."

It was true. Draco would never try to perform a spell, especially in front of Harry, if he didn't think he could do it perfectly. He had to have spent last summer practicing spells like that. That's why he couldn't write you. Everything was starting to fall into place but it only made you feel worse.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," Harry apologizes, miserably. Of course he wanted to be right about Draco, but not at the expense of his friend.

***

It's been a week now since the incident. Draco's still in the hospital wing but you haven't seen him. It's not like you haven't tried. The day after the accident, you went to see him only to be turned away from Madam Pomfrey.

"He's asked to not have visitors," she had said.

"But I'm his girlfriend," you had pleaded.

You convinced her to go back and tell him you were there. You fought back the urge to cry when she came back and told you he didn't want to see you. Maybe he was angry with you. For what, you didn't know.

You had gone back everyday since, sometimes multiple times a day. But each time, she turned you away. It was hard not to feel discouraged but you just had to wait until he was released.

Today was your lucky day though. You see the all too familiar head of platinum hair enter the Great Hall. His head is down, he's not looking for you. Your heart sinks at the thought of him not caring about you. You watch as he sits at the end of the Slytherin table by himself. He doesn't look bothered that you're not there. He doesn't even glance towards the Gryffindor table to check on you. It's like it's a year ago and you don't exist in each other's lives anymore.

He continues to avoid you the rest of the day. All day long, you see a flash of blonde hair and green robes but then he's instantly gone. He hasn't once tried to approach you. You're not the only one noticing it too. Other students keep looking at you curiously, knowing the Slytherin duo is missing its male counterpart.

Later that evening, you decide to search for Draco. You haven't spoken for a week, he was seriously injured at the hands of one of your best friends. Above all that, he's still your boyfriend (you hope) and you care about him.

He's not in the common room or his dorm or by the lake. You wander the halls for him, spending hours searching every corner of the castle for him. Finally, you remember a last resort. The Astronomy tower.

You quickly climb the stairs to the airy balcony. Sure enough, there he is. His back is to you, his arms leaning on the railing. He hears your footsteps, whirling around, wand pointed at you. You freeze, hands up in surrender.

He relaxes, only slightly, once he realizes it's you. He tucks his wand away. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone."

His voice doesn't sound like his. It sounds...devoid of all feeling and emotion. He's staring at you blankly, as if you're bothering him.

"You've been avoiding me," you respond, taking slow steps towards him.

He shrugs. "I've been avoiding everyone."

"I came to see you at the hospital wing."

"I know. You came everyday." The way he says it so nonchalantly catches you off guard. Like he doesn't care.

"I'm really sorry about what happened. I'm happy you're okay." He only nods in response.

"Why didn't you want to see me?" You don't care how pathetic you sound. You just want some kind of reassurance that he still cares.

"I didn't want to see anyone." His voice still sounds so distant and off. His face still holding that blank expression.

"I thought I wasn't just anyone."

"You're not." He gives you a minuscule smile, taking a tiny step towards you.

"But we shouldn't be together anymore."

The words drive a knife right through your heart. The worst part is he doesn't even seem upset about it. He's saying these words to you as calmly as he might answer a question in class.

You finally find your voice to muster up words. "What? Wh-Why?"

He shakes his head sadly. "It was never going to work out for us, y/n. We come from two different worlds, you know that. You're not fit for my lifestyle."

You can't believe what you're hearing. These are not Draco's words.

"I thought you didn't care about any of that." You blink back the tears as quickly as possible.

"We were just kidding ourselves."

He still has yet to show any emotion and you can't help but feel this ball of anger form within you. Why is he doing this? This is so unlike him and so sudden. What happened over this last week?

"You're lying to me," you respond. "It's because you're working for Him. You've joined them." Your eyes fall to his covered left arm. "Roll up your sleeve."

He shrinks back, a flash of hurt dances across his eyes before quickly disappearing. You narrow your eyes at him. His blank stare is back. He's occluding.

"Roll up your sleeve," you repeat with gritted teeth.

"Y/n, you don't-"

"Stop occluding and roll up your sleeve Draco! Now!" You snap and he instantly silences.

Slowly, he reaches down and rolls up his sleeve to reveal what he's been hiding from you all this time. You softly gasp at the sight. The dark ink swirling atop his perfect alabaster skin. Tentatively, you step towards him. When he doesn't move away, you slowly reach for his arm. Surprisingly, he lets you take his arm as you lightly trace on the mark on his forearm.

When you look back up at him, his occlusion is gone. His piercing eyes hold a mixture of shock and despair. His mouth is moving but no words are coming out. He looks utterly exhausted and terrified. You can't imagine what he's gone through, what Voldemort is putting him through.

Without thinking, you hug him so tightly. He hesitates for a couple seconds before hesitantly wrapping his arms around you. After what feels like forever, he finally pulls away. His sad eyes gaze over you.

"Draco, we can figure something out. Together."

You reach forward to take his hand. As soon as your skin touches his, it's like a switch turns on. He rips his hand from your grasp. His eyes hold no emotion again. Your heart drops to the floor yet again.

"No," he snaps, taking a step back from you. "There is no 'we' y/n. We can't be together."

"You don't actually believe that. Just stop occluding, we can figure it out." You shake your head adamantly.

"It's over y/n. Please just stay away from me. You're going to walk down those stairs and we're going to go back to the way things were. Before any of this ever happened." His voice is hard, his face stoic. You don't even recognize this boy before you.

Your voice is hoarse as it trembles. "That's not what you want, Draco. I know you."

"No, you don't. You don't know what I've done, the things I'm capable of."

"Draco, please." Your eyes are boring into his, searching for any kind of emotion. Any kind of recognition. "I love you."

His jaw clenches and unclenches. Tiny beads of sweat trail his hairline. He gulps hard. "I don't love you."

You feel as if your heart has just been torn out of your chest. You're struggling for air but you can't breathe. You want to leave but you can't. It's as if your shoes have been nailed to the floor. You can't do anything but just continue to stare into his dead eyes. The eyes that don't love you anymore.

He breaks the stare, clearing his throat. "You should go."

The dismissal has you immediately turning on your heel and heading down the stairs. As if you're a puppet and he's the puppeteer, not able to make a move unless he deems it so. You feel as if you've been a puppet this whole time.

A dark feeling of misery engulfs you as you descend the stairs. You can't tell if you're walking fast or slow, you're not even sure what direction you're heading in. You almost don't notice Harry until he skids to a stop in front of you.

He's out of breath, like he was running here. His hands grip the marauder's map tightly, his wand out.

"Y/n! I saw you and Draco on the map in the astronomy tower. I thought maybe he was hurting you. Are you okay?" His words come out in a tumble and you barely comprehend them.

The only thing you can do is sob into his chest.

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sourstilinski · 2 years

Text

“The Pull.” DM

PT.2 of THE PUSH

“Just what he needed”.

thankfully, blaise had the courtesy to leave the encounter, which must’ve felt awkward to him but even more so for the couple involved.

draco slowly rose from his seat, hardly daring to breath in such a suffocatingly tense atmosphere. Y/N held her gaze, unbelieving of what she’d heard, wishing her ears had deceived her.

no, she thought, draco doesn’t get to look so nervous. he brought this onto himself.

“i’d just come to bring you some soup i made. homemade.” without taking her eyes off of him, she reached into her bag and pulled the flask out. she placed it onto the table firmly, the bang against the glass ebbing away a little of the anger in satisfaction.

“when you said you were ‘unwinding’, i assumed that meant you wouldn’t want any company.”

draco glanced at the flask, then took a step towards her.

“don’t.”

“Y/N…it’s not what you think.”

she laughed. really, really laughed. the sound was sarcastic and shrill, and in such a way that might torment draco in shame for the next few months to come. “so what is it then, draco?”

he frantically tried to claw his way out of the hole, instantly replying with a mess of an explanation, “you don’t understand - it’s not like that anymore. i…i thought it was, but it’s something more - you’re something more.”

“you’re making absolutely no sense right now.” her arms crossed and her legs started itching to walk away. she mentally counted down, giving him his last chance to save himself in whatever words he could string together. a chance that she hoped he’d grasp, because she wanted him to be right. she wanted to have misheard.

it hurt to much to be true.

he sighed and rubbed his forehead harshly, scrubbing down his face with a hand and somehow looking even more stressed afterwards. then, some sort of realisation came about him. draco’s voice was quiet as he whispered, almost to only himself, “it’s taken me so long to realise.”

her patience was wearing thin, and she wanted to get out of there, away from the property entirely, before the anger spiralled away and the pain took its place.

draco’s head snapped up and he looked to his girlfriend. “i’m stupid. so fucking stupid.” his hands clenched at his side, then unfurled like he was trying to suppress his self directed anger. “you’re not a rebound, i - ”

Y/N’s hands twitched into motion, and her hands portrayed quotation marks as she reiterated his previous words, “‘yeah, she’s the perfect replacement, i’m telling you.’ now, tell me if i’m wrong, draco, but that sounds a little misleading now that i’ve heard you say it yourself.”

“you’re not listening to me! i was wrong, i hadn’t even known it myself - ”

“you keep saying that! what didn’t you know, draco? that you’re an idiot? that i’m more than an object just to be replaced for this ‘astoria’ girl?”

“ - that i love you!”

the air stilled, and the very fabric of the universe shushed to listen. Y/N reeled herself back in, standing up straight and trying to comprehend what draco was saying with barely furrowed brows. draco himself seemed surprised, like saying the words aloud had just taken him away from dream and grounded him in reality.

Y/N didn’t have many thoughts in that moment, and if she tried to recount this in the future she could probably do so in a matter of seconds, but her lips felt slow and her words felt heavy, tasted bitter on her tongue as she said quieter than before, “i’m glad you love me.”

draco’s eyes expressed the clearest emotion of worry and confusion, so she did him the honour of elaborating, “that means the rebound worked out for you.”

she turned, and draco screamed in his mind to try and stop her. the exclamations travelled from his thoughts, to his vocal chords and throat and floated onto his tongue, but all that drifted out was a strangled, silent sound only he could hear. or, maybe she had heard it too, and for a split second it seemed the sun had shone down in a mix of blessings as Y/N smiled and spoke again.

and then it dimmed, and the world turned dark, hazy, irrelevant, as she said, “i loved you too.”

this time was different, because it wasn’t a job opportunity that pushed her through the doors and away from him. it wasn’t the chance to move elsewhere. there wasn’t the luxury of being able to hate her, because she’d been nothing but faithful in her entire few (all too short) months with him. this was draco’s doing, courtesy of his own stupid, foolish, misguided beliefs.

just like that, quicker than anything he could grasp and try to save from slipping through his fingertips, she left.

draco had been wrong all along. to end like that, was much worse than ending on good terms.

two weeks. two. weeks.

that was fourteen days that draco hadn’t heard from Y/N, and it was taking a toll on him.

in astoria’s case, he drowned out the loneliness with things - hobbies, other stuff that felt meaningless now - but everything he picked up, everywhere he went, draco found that it reminded him of her.

the library in his manor had been explored countless times by Y/N. every couch had been a place that she’d once sat, every window one that she’d once looked out of.

what was the difference? astoria had done these things and more, had spent longer with him than Y/N ever had chance to, so why?

astoria had been alike to draco in so many ways, and maybe that’s why he’d liked her so much initially. her relevance was to his former self, a connection to immature draco that he couldn’t see himself letting go in his try of redemption. Y/N, on the other hand, was on an entirely different level. to compare them wouldn’t have made sense, and yet draco did so anyway.

she was a breath of fresh air. nothing like he used to be, and maybe that was good for him. how could he have ever thought she’d be a rebound for astoria, a replacement, if they were completely different?

then, draco did something stupid.

august 3rd, last year: ‘a date, a recap, a fantasy.’

her hand in his, his heart content. the shopping centre was always her favourite place to spend her free time in, and the way she saw it - if she had the money, why not spend it?

draco was just happy to be with her, and so he looked to the left of him and smiled down at her pretty face. he admired the way her eyes searched through the glass, gazing into certain stores.

astoria.

“looking for anything in particular?”

she hummed, peering through a jewellery store then losing interest soon after. “just looking.”

astoria then caught his staring eye and smiled, breathing out a laugh, “what are you looking at me for, draco?”

he grinned and looked down, then casually around to give her the alleviation of his focus. “just looking.”

he could feel the eye roll from her.

she gasped, catching his attention once more. draco looked at her instantly, to see her eyes glued to a door to some shop. he traced where she was looking and found the large oak door, slashed over with a thick piece of tape that read ‘CLOSING DOWN.’

if her hand wasn’t enclosed in draco’s and her other wasn’t holding shopping bags, she would’ve brought it up to her mouth, because draco just knew her mannerisms.

“oh, draco. i can’t believe it’s closing.”

he hummed in agreement. “i used to love this place. actually, it used to be my favourite book store.”

she nodded, “me too!”

present day: ‘replacement.’

draco stopped his memory there.

astoria loved shopping, it was true. she had, many times, invited him to come with her on her little expeditions through designer stores, never once spending his money despite how much he insisted it, but only to have him nearby.

draco also knew all of her mannerisms like the back of his hand, that was also true. he could predict her movements before she’d even thought to do them, and he could usually mimic what she’d say before her tongue had even formed the words.

but…astoria didn’t read like he did.

she never visited book stores, or spent her shopping sprees buying books, or even ever took note of the cosy shop that happened to be draco’s favourite.

draco thought back to that day. the dates didn’t match.

august the third; he remembered the day specifically because an important document had been released to him that night, with the date stamped in bold at the top. astoria had left him many months prior.

he imagined the hand in his again, the delicate feel of her skin against his. he created the mirage of a girl, and turned his head to create the imagined faux version of her.

her. not astoria.

draco had mixed the memories up, had done it again. but it hadn’t been Y/N that he’d dealt as the replacement, it’d been astoria.

he’d imagined Y/N in astoria’s place.

february 29th: ‘one more time.’

the stupid thing draco had done was happening today.

as he teleported through floo powder, he thought about asking someone to take his quill away, if only to stop him writing letters ever again.

draco had written to astoria, and asked to meet.

her reply had sounded almost reluctant, but he claimed it was for ‘closure’. even if that weren’t true, he wouldn’t have minded seeing her again. maybe this was what they needed to get the relationship going again, or what draco needed to let himself let her go.

the station smelt incredibly familiar, like rushing people and departing trains, alongside the aromas of food prepared nearby. it sounded like deja vu, like warm steam evaporating in the air and the vibrating voices all blurred together amongst the brick.

in between the footsteps and whistles and thick smog of steam, he saw her.

astoria appeared with a small carrier case in her hand, enough to keep herself comfortable for the one night she’d be staying here before she returned to her house - her new home, away from him.

there wasn’t a slow motion reel like in the films. there wasn’t classical music in the background as an orchestra of violins served the introduction for the insignificant other. there were no doves, no sparks, no realisation that yes, she was all he’d ever needed.

instead, people continued to shuffle in between him and the image of her, unbeknownst to the relation between the two people across the station from each other. the sounds continued, the smells came stronger than ever, the world continued to go on.

astoria walked closer, and once she finally reached him she could only smile and breath out two words, gasped out in a string of an exhale. “hello, draco.”

he tightened his lips in a smile and nodded, “astoria.”

a few months ago, draco would’ve hated the way they had spoken like strangers. the same draco would’ve sighed with relief and sunken into her arms once she then abruptly pulled him closer and connected her hands tightly behind his neck.

he froze at first, automatically thinking of Y/N. then he remembered what had happened, and forced the feeling of unfaithfulness to dull. still, he felt as though she was watching from mere steps away, and pulled away further than old draco would’ve done.

her touch had changed. it dawned on him after they somehow got to a little cafe nearby, ordered some drink that he forgot about afterwards, and started some conversation that turned into a haze. the entire moment melted into a muted buzz while draco looked at astoria through a different pair of eyes.

she didn’t make him want to stay by her side for a lifetime anymore, in the sense of just being in her arms once made him so content.

his eyes searched her face - really searched it, trying to find that inch of magic he’d once sworn could never dim, hadn’t even considered the idea of it. she’d lost that godlike beauty that draco had glorified in his memory, and in her place he found a sight that terrified him.

Y/N smiled back at him.

draco shook his head and scrunched his eyes shut, then opened them to see a real, confused astoria with her lips halted in whatever she was saying. “you okay?”

he nodded slowly, “yeah. sorry, carry on.”

draco could blame so many things. distance had done this. it’d driven a wedge between him and astoria, someone he almost loved, and all he could see was a girl he’d meant to substitute her with. or, Y/N herself was the cause. from the very first day, she’d captivated draco with her voice, her eyes, her way of being.

with one last look at astoria, he thought to himself about how he really felt. she flourished a hand and, with a moment of actual attention, draco realised that she was talking about her job, and how it was entirely the right decision to make. the wall he’d subconsciously constructed to keep his feelings for astoria intact crumbled away - he let it turn to dust, until the barrier was simply spread amongst the grounds - and let himself consider reality for a moment.

with astoria, it was like he knew he could’ve loved her. but he couldn’t find where the love lay, where it spawned from and where it swelled. his heart? his very soul? perhaps…after all this time, it’d merely been in his head.

stories that had once felt like fairytales now felt like recapping simple memories from another life, another person ago.

with that lingering thought, he tried one last thing. he watched her take a sip of her sweet latte. she’s about to suck her teeth at the sweet taste, then purse her lips and smile.

his eyes followed every movement, and any onlooker would’ve noticed the worried, expectant look that sketched all over his features.

astoria put the cut down, lightly scrunched her face up and brushed back her hair. “it’s hot.”

and just like that, draco abruptly stood up and felt the chair vibrate a good distance away, heard the scraping of it against the floor. her eyes snapped up to him, and he only offered one farewell before he bolted to the floo port in the train station, “i’ve got to go fix something. i wish you well, astoria, i really do.”

if he ever looked back (which, given the girl that refused to leave his thoughts in the current moment, was impossible) he would’ve seen his ex girlfriend standing up and watching him run off, then the distant smile that stretched across her pink lips. she wished him luck, because whatever he was chasing after must’ve been worth it.

Y/N heard a banging against her door, and opened it to see a panting draco.

draco saw the door open, and felt his entire world come together into the seemingly small person before him. everything made sense, and somehow nothing had ever made felt logical before this.

Y/N had few seconds to furrow her brows and accusingly ask, “draco, did you run he - ” before draco’s hand grabbed the back of her head in a swift, gentle motion and pulled her onto him.

his fingers entangled into her hair, and felt the kiss start to flow into motion as Y/N un-stiffened and melted into it.

there would be time for explanations later, chances for reassurance after, but everything was right in that moment.

a rebound - she never was one. even from the first encounter. whether draco had convinced himself that Y/N was merely a replacement just to keep himself faithful to a woman who no longer belonged to him, or to protect himself from someone who he could love harder and heavier than any other woman before, he didn’t know.

but he did know that being this close to Y/N felt amazing, felt natural, and nothing in the world could ever go wrong if she only kept kissing him like that.

it was no longer astoria and draco.

it was her, and her’s.

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sourstilinski · 2 years

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Your characterization and writing style is really nice! I love it a lot! I love some hurt/comfort sooo is it possible to do both 🤍🖤 with a happy ending? Your blog is so lovely 😍 I'll continue to support your writing 🥰

“The Push.” (DM)

+ PT.2 “THE PULL.”

Draco had her, but it wasn’t to last. So then you came along - and it was just what he needed.

If you followed me before my ‘comeback’ (LOL) you’ll know this is a repost…oops

it’d ended on good terms, but maybe that was the worst part about it.

‘astoria and draco’ might’ve started with their parents introducing one another as the ideal couple and forcing them into a relationship, but it had turned genuine down the line. draco had come to really like astoria, and few times he’d admitted to himself that perhaps he could even love her. a few more months would’ve done it.

and then they broke up.

astoria hadn’t found someone else, nor had she decided that she didn’t love him anymore. it also definitely wasn’t draco’s idea, so why had it happened? why has they finished?

he’ll never forget the way her eyes had glistened in tears but she still smiled at him nonetheless while holding his hands. he could sense the goodbye underlying in her explanation, could taste the farewell on his tongue.

it had happened because astoria had told him she loved him, but an opportunity had come up. it was one for her career, one that required her to move across the country for a couple of years.

his first instinct was to pull away, and he saw the expectancy of this movement flash across her face. she didn’t look hurt, more disappointed that she’d been right. draco wanted to scream, break something, tell her how selfish she was, how he’d give her thrice the money this job could offer if only she’d just stay, but…then draco looked at her.

his time with her had flown past his eyes in a mirage of memories, and he couldn’t bring himself to raise his voice. he wouldn’t let himself be selfish, because astoria didn’t deserve that.

draco had sighed, and told her he’d support her no matter what. that she should go.

then, astoria had started crying. it stung in draco’s chest that, because she’d expected such a horrible reaction, him being supportive had brought such a storm of tears.

a few weeks later, and she was ready to leave. at the train station, it wasn’t a long send-off at all. the leave was only temporary, and she wasn’t supposed to stay there for longer than five years maximum - but somehow it had felt like a permanent goodbye.

he’d simply told her three words before she’d kissed his cheek and boarded the train. “i’ll miss you.”

draco would be lying if he said he was okay after her leaving. he felt lonely, but he wasn’t foolish enough to go drown himself in substances, or waste away doing nothing. he filled his time with hobbies he used to love - ones he’d dropped, for some reason - and kept his days obsessively full. he worked harder than ever at his job, and welcomed the paperwork into the late hours of night instead of dreading them and seeing them as things that took away what time he could’ve been spending with astoria.

however, he also had the issue of pride in the way, and so he never told his friends how he felt. the lonely hole was never quite filled with the countless books he read, or the various complex potions he made, or even the trips far away to wherever he felt like travelling to.

and then, he met you.

Keep reading

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sourstilinski · 2 years

Text

Are You With Me? (Draco Malfoy x y/n) Chapter 9

Read Previous Chapters HERE

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"Draco," you scold playfully. Your boyfriend is currently peppering kisses on your face as you try to pull away. The two of you are hiding out in an empty classroom, soaking in your last few moments together before you have to leave.

"We're going to miss the train," you remind him, slightly pushing him in the chest.

He smirks at you in response. "I don't care." He dips his head back down to kiss you on the lips.

"You will care if the train leaves without us."

He doesn't respond, he simply kisses your cheek.

"Draco," you giggle, pushing him in the chest once more.

"Okay okay, I'll stop." He finally surrenders, backing off of you. He takes your hands in his, softly tracing circles with his thumbs. He's not looking at you anymore, instead choosing to focus his gaze on your hands.

You know him well enough to know that he has something on his mind. You heard what happened to his father at the Ministry, how You-Know-Who was back. Draco didn't let on about a lot of things but you knew it made him nervous.

"What's going on?" You ask softly.

He looks back up at you, his frown dropping. "Nothing. It's just going to be a long summer." He presses his forehead to yours. "I'm going to miss you."

You smile sadly at him. "I'm going to miss you too." You squeeze his hands, trying to lighten the mood. "But it's just for a couple months. Will you write me?"

He hesitates for a second before nodding in agreement. "Yes I'll write to you. I promise."

***

He never wrote to you.

You waited two weeks after you arrived home but no letter came. You figured that he was just upset and dealing with a lot at home. His father was sentenced to time in Azkaban. No matter how much Draco disliked him at times, that was still his father.

When you heard the news, you decided to write to him first. You didn't want to wait around any longer. You told him how sorry you were about his situation and how you just wanted to make sure he was alright. He never responded.

Meanwhile, word of You-Know-Who sightings kept sweeping the wizarding world, causing people to panic. You wrote Draco a few more times, asking if he was safe from Voldemort. You weren't ignorant to his family's history. His father was a known Death Eater after all. Still, a response never came.

You were heartbroken but tried not to let it bother you. He was going through a lot, maybe he wasn't able to write. Maybe his parents found out about the two of you and forbid him to contact you. There had to be a reasonable explanation to this.

But the irrational part of you, the insecure part, kept telling you that he lost interest in you. That you had been nothing but a play thing for him after all. An outlet for his teenage rebellion. You weren't exciting enough, or pretty enough, or pureblood enough for the Slytherin Prince.

Now here you were, standing on Platform 9 3/4. The usual hustle and bustle of the new school year was all around you. However, the energy is certainly not as cheery as it usually is. It's obvious everyone is still very on edge about Voldemort.

You don't see Draco on the platform or even later on the train. After searching for what felt like hours, you finally give up, joining the trio in their compartment. You exchange small talk about your summer until Hermione brings up Draco.

"Um, I don't know. We haven't spoken," you mutter.

Harry's head snaps towards you. "You two haven't written all summer?"

You shake your head. "He was supposed to write to me but he never did. I thought he was just upset because of everything that happened with his father. I wrote to him too but he didn't respond. But now I'm starting to think what if he doesn't like me anymore?"

"I'd say you dodged a bullet there y/n," Ron pipes up, grinning. Hermione kicks him in the shin, hard. He yelps before looking at you sheepishly. "Sorry."

Hermione turns back to you. "I'm sure he still likes you y/n. How can you even say that? I mean what's not to like?"

You appreciate your her kind words but it doesn't shake the fear you have. "Why else wouldn't he contact me?"

"Maybe he couldn't," Harry says. There's a look in his eyes that you can't quite place. Like he's deep in thought about something but also trying to figure something else out. Something confusing.

"What do you mean?" You ask him. If he knows anything that would explain Draco's sudden disappearance, then you want to know.

"I don't know," he shrugs. The look in his eyes is gone now. He smiles at you. "I'm sure everything's fine y/n. Hermione's right. What's not to like about you?"

***

You sit near the edge of the Slytherin table, anxious. The Sorting Ceremony has already begun and your boyfriend still hasn't entered the Great Hall. Did he even come back to Hogwarts this year? As your mind fills with the thought of you never seeing him again, a platinum blonde head walks through the huge double doors.

He looks different, older. More mature, almost as if he has gained more life experience in just two months time. His hair is shorter, swept off to the side. He's not wearing his Slytherin robes, instead he's clad in a black suit. His face is stoic, almost hard. You watch his eyes scan the faces of the sea of green and silver. As soon as his eyes land on you, his face softens immediately. He beams at you which you return warily.

He cuts across the room towards you, sliding into the empty spot beside you.

"Y/n, I've missed you." He pulls you into a hug and you immediately melt into his arms. You almost want to cry at the sight of him, you were so worried that he wanted nothing to do with you.

But you're stubborn and you don't want to let him get away that easy. You pull away from the hug.

"I wrote to you, you know. I never heard from you, I thought something happened to you or maybe that was your way of breaking up with me."

His eyes fill with sadness. "I know and I'm so sorry. This summer has been..a lot and I've just been dealing with a lot. But believe me, I'm not breaking up with you."

You sigh in relief. Your fears are gone now. "I wrote to you after what happened with your father. I'm so sorry Draco." You place your hand over his.

"It's okay, love. My mother is taking really hard though. I was just trying to be there for her these past couple months. I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't want to be together anymore."

"I understand. I know it must've been really hard for you. I can't imagine what you've been going through."

He smiles sadly, and you swear you see tears prick the corners of his eyes. "Yeah well that doesn't matter right now. I'm here with you now and I've been waiting for this moment all summer." He leans down, pressing his lips to yours softly.

You're about to say something when you see Harry slip into the Great Hall. His face is covered in blood, his nose slightly cracked.

"Oh my god, what happened to Harry?" You question out loud to no one in particular. You're about to stand up to go to him when Draco mutters something under his breath.

"What did you say?"

He sighs, knowing you won't let it go. "I said he's a nosy prick who got what he deserved."

Realization dawns on you. Draco was late getting off the train, he was late to the Sorting Ceremony. "Did you do that to him?"

He doesn't answer and you know what that means.

"I can't believe you. I thought you were going to leave him alone."

"He was eavesdropping on my conversation on the train. He can never mind his own business, you know that."

"So that gives you the right to break his nose?!"

He doesn't respond, he's just staring at you. His eyes are sad but his face is hard.

"Whatever." You stand up, clanging your fork on your plate. "I'm out of here."

You get up from the table, leaving Draco by himself.

***

Later that night, a knock sounds at your door. You don't have to open it to know it's Draco. He would be the only Slytherin coming to your door.

"Come in," you call. You've been busying yourself with organizing all of your school supplies for tomorrow, trying to distract yourself from the drama that is your boyfriend.

He opens the door slowly, poking his head in. When he sees that you don't have your wand pointed at him, he steps all the way in.

"Y/n. Please can we talk?"

"I'm listening."

He takes a moment and you know he's trying to figure out the right words to say. "I've been an arse, I know that. I should've written you this summer, maybe if I did I would've felt better. Maybe it would've helped me get through this summer, helped me be there for my mother, I don't know. It was a mistake and I'm so sorry. And I know I shouldn't have attacked Potter, he just infuriates me. I know he's your friend but it's the truth. And he was sticking his nose where it didn't belong, as usual, and I wasn't going to let him get away with it this time."

He pauses to gauge your reaction before continuing. You're just looking at him, arms cross over your chest.

"But I'm sorry," he continues. "I'll try to be better. I know I hurt your feelings about this summer and about Potter and I feel truly awful and hope you can forgive me. I don't want to lose you y/n. You're the best thing in my life. I love you y/n."

You feel like your insides are going to implode. You have so many emotions going through you. Shock, that he actually expressed his feelings in a decent way. Guilt, that he thought you would leave him just like that. Love, that he seems to love you this much and that you're the best thing in his life?

Any sort of animosity you felt towards him was gone. You instantly soften at his openness. You walk towards him, pulling him into a hug. He stalls for a second, like he can't believe you're actually hugging him right now, before wrapping his arms tightly around you.

"I love you too," you say. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, so much," he whispers into your hair.

All of your fears from earlier were gone. Draco loves you and you love him and all is right with the world.

***

Unfortunately, this "honeymoon phase" didn't seem to last very long. Draco was suddenly disappearing at all times of the day and night. He claims he has a lot of studying and homework to do but you're starting to wonder how truthful he's being.

Even when he's with you, it's like he's not there. His mind always seems to be somewhere else. Whenever you ask him about it, he just brushes you off, tells you that he's fine. You don't want to push but you're almost sure there's something else happening.

When he quit quidditch, you knew there was something wrong. He loves quidditch. More than that, he loves being the center of attention. He would kill for another shot to beat Harry in a match. When you asked him about it, he just told you he was tired of the game. He said it didn't make him happy anymore. It didn't really seem like anything made him happy anymore.

The first Hogsmeade trip of the year was approaching quickly. Snow was already falling, everyone was excited. You had asked Draco to go with you but he insisted he had a lot of homework to do. You weren't really surprised but you're disappointed, nonetheless. You ended up going with the trio instead. This was how you ended up in Mcgonagall's office explaining to her and Snape about what you saw when Katie Bell was cursed.

You stand there with the trio, shivering and traumatized by what you just witnessed. The way her body levitated, when she dropped back down to the snow. You can't stop replaying it over in your head.

"Who could've done something like this?" Mcgonagall paces back and forth as Snape examines the necklace with his wand.

"Professor," Harry spoke up. Hermione and Ron's eyes both widen at their friend. "It was Draco Malfoy. He's joined the Death Eaters."

Your heart stops. You can't breathe. What did he just say? Sure Draco's been a little strange lately but you still want to give him the benefit of the doubt. And just because he's been missing lately doesn't mean he's suddenly working for Voldemort. How could Harry say such a thing? And how could he not tell you about this sooner?

Mcgonagall has the same look of incredulous shock you are sure is on your face as well. "Mr. Potter, this is a very serious accusation."

"I know." Harry nods, jaw set tight. "But I know it's him."

You can't stand here and listen to Harry, who's supposed to be your friend, accuse your boyfriend of these awful things. There's no way Draco's a Death Eater. Just because his father was? No way.

Without a word, you turn abruptly for the door. You need to get out of here. As soon as you're out, you hear footsteps behind you. Hermione and Ron are right on your tail as Harry is trailing behind.

"Y/n!" Hermione calls after you.

You whirl around, focused on Harry. "How could you say that?"

"Because it's the truth y/n," Harry responds. "You need to know the truth, they need to know the truth."

"We don't know if it's true though mate," Ron says.

"Exactly, we don't have any proof," Hermione adds.

"It is true. We all saw the same thing over the summer," Harry argues.

"Wait," you interrupt. "Over the summer, what did you see?"

"He was in Borgin and Bourkes. Other Death Eaters were there, it looked like some kind of initiation ceremony," Harry explains. "He seemed pretty interested in this cabinet that was there."

"Yes, but we didn't actually see anything," Hermione says, shooting a pointed look at Harry. "And there's no proof that he hexed Katie Bell."

"He wasn't even in Hogsmeade," you argue. "He told me he had too much homework when I asked him to come."

Harry shakes his head. "I saw him. At the Three Broomsticks. He looked like he was trying to avoid being seen."

"Maybe it was someone else," you say.

"Y/n, I know it was him."

"But you don't know for sure. He wouldn't lie to me."

"Y/n, I'm positive it was him. I'm telling you he's one of them. He's been acting weird since school started. Even you have to agree with me on that," Harry says.

"Yes he's been acting weird but that doesn't mean he's a bloody Death Eater Harry. There's no way. He wouldn't do that to me."

Hermione's face softens. She knows how you feel, being a muggle-born. She knows how much it would hurt to know your boyfriend joined a group that believes you shouldn't exist.

"For your sake y/n, I hope I'm wrong," Harry says. "I really do. But I'm not so sure I am."

You shake your head. "No. You're wrong. You have to be." Your hands are visibly shaking, tears are threatening to spill over. "I have to go."

You take off down the corridor. You can't look at them anymore. You finally make it back to the Slytherin dorms. You get to Draco's room and to your surprise, he's actually there. He's laying across his bed, a book in hand.

He perks up when he see you. "Hey darling." His brows furrow when he sees how upset you look. "Hey, what's wrong?"

You stop your pacing, turning to face him. You wring your hands together nervously. Your mind is still racing from everything you just heard.

"It's Katie Bell," you finally say. His face is stoic, emotionless. His eyes hold no thoughts either. "She was cursed. We saw her...when it happened. It was horrible, she's going to be in recovery for months."

"Yeah, I heard. That's terrible. Hopefully she'll recover fairly quickly."

You search his face for any kind of guilt or remorse or tell-tale sign he knew more than he was letting on but you didn't see anything.

"Yeah," you continue. "I'm just a little shaken up I guess."

He opens his arms, motioning for you to come over. You sink down next to him as he wraps his arms around you.

"It's okay y/n. You're safe now, nothing's going to happen to you," he says soothingly.

"Did you go to Hogsmeade today?" You blurt out.

He bristles. "No, I told you I was doing homework all day today remember?"

You pull out of his hug, facing him. "Yeah I know. It's just that Harry thought he saw you at the Three Broomsticks. I thought maybe you decided to come after all. Must've been somebody else though."

His eyes cloud over for a fleeting moment. Again, it's a look you can't quite place but you're not so sure you like the looks of it either.

He finally breaks out into a small smile. "Yeah, must've been. No wonder Potter needs glasses."

He chuckles and you laugh along with him. But you can't help the uneasy feeling that settles in your stomach. The feeling that's telling you that Draco has secrets, more than what he's letting on.

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sourstilinski · 2 years

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Are You With Me? (Draco x y/n) Chapter 8

Read Previous Chapters HERE

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Your head raises at the sounds of footsteps approaching you. The study room is filled with students but you're sitting alone as usual. OWLS are just three weeks away and every fifth year is feeling the stress. Your friends still haven't been speaking to you so the shock on your face is evident when you see who's at your table. Harry and Hermione stand in front of you awkwardly, Hermione a couple steps ahead of him.

"Hi," you whisper nervously, half-expecting to be chewed out and have everyone find out about your relationship with Draco.

"Can we talk?" She also looks nervous. At least she doesn't look angry.

You nod. "Of course."

Her and Harry slide into the seats across from you, earning some looks from other students. It's not like they haven't noticed that the honorary Slytherin has been missing from the golden trio recently.

"I'm not angry with you," she starts, glancing over at Harry. "Neither of us are."

Harry nods in agreement, sending you a small smile. So he never told them he knew already? Well, maybe he didn't want them to think he was keeping secrets too. Especially this.

"I'm sorry I haven't been speaking to you. I was upset at first," Hermione continues. "But what's important here is that we're friends. I know I must've made you feel bad and I'm sorry for that."

"You don't have to apologize," you jump in. "I kept it from you guys and I shouldn't have."

"But I understand why you did," she says. "He hasn't always been the...friendliest, towards us. But I know you. You wouldn't be with someone if you didn't see something good in him."

"Now what that is, is still unclear to us," Harry chuckles, earning a small laugh from both you and Hermione. "But it shouldn't matter. We're friends, y/n. We'll support you no matter what."

"But if he hurts you, I will punch that little cockroach again," Hermione threatens, half-joking.

The three of you laugh together and a feeling of belonging fills you. It's like nothing has changed between you and your friends again. But as your laughter dies down, your mind can't help to wander to your missing red-headed friend.

"Is Ron okay?" You ask.

A part of you is dreading the answer. He must still be really mad at you, he didn't come with Harry and Hermione. The two of them exchange an uneasy look, confirming your worst suspicions.

"Uh, Ron's still...a bit upset." Harry struggles to find the words as your heart sinks. When he notices the heartbroken look on your face, he quickly responds. "I'm sure he'll come around though. It might just take him a little more time."

"Has he said anything about me?" You can't help but ask.

Harry and Hermione exchange another uneasy glance. Your mind races with all of the horrible things he could possibly say about your relationship with Draco. Probably that you were a traitor and that he never wanted to talk to you again.

"Tell me," you insist. "Please."

"He said that maybe the Sorting Hat was right about you all along," Hermione mumbles, avoiding your eyes. "And that you and Draco deserve each other because you both only think about yourselves."

You bite your lip, blinking away the few tears threatening to spill. They notice your state and immediately reach for you, assuring you that they don't believe that and how Ron will eventually come around.

***

You aren't so sure about that the next morning though. You're seated back at the Gryffindor table with Harry, Hermione and Ron. The only problem is that Ron refuses to interact with you and acts as if you aren't there. When you said good morning, he didn't even look up at you. Not trying to get too discouraged, you try again.

"So, uh, Ron," you start hesitantly. He doesn't turn to you but you push on. "Are you ready for the quidditch match this weekend? You guys will do great."

He keeps shoveling eggs into his mouth, eyes never leaving his plate. An uncomfortable silence hangs over the four of you as Harry and Hermione exchange nervous glances with you.

"Y/n and I are going to make posters for you Ron," Hermione says, trying to sound excited. "Y/n wants to support you."

She gives you a reassuring smile which you return. Until Ron speaks again.

"I think y/n would rather support her boyfriend," he scoffs. "Wait, no she can't because he doesn't even want to tell anyone she's his girlfriend."

"Ronald!" Hermione scolds him.

"I've already apologized Ron," you speak up. "I don't know what else you want from me. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you."

Ron looks like he's about to say something back but stops short. His gaze is now fixed on something behind you. He looks shocked at first but then rolls his eyes, going back to his plate

"This is just bloody brilliant," he grumbles, stabbing at his eggs.

Hermione and Harry's gaze also locked on something behind you. But they aren't the only ones. Looking across the table, it seems like almost everyone in the Great Hall is focused on the same thing that seems to be behind your back.

You finally turn around to see your boyfriend just steps away from you. He abruptly stops right in front of you, his gaze never leaving your face.

"Y/n." His cheeks are slightly pink. You think he might be feeling a bit of embarrassment due to all these eyes on him. He's never shied away from attention before but this is different. "Can I walk you to class?"

If everyone wasn't looking before, they sure are now. You freeze. What is he doing? No one besides the trio knows that the two of you are together. You search his eyes for some kind of explanation but he's just smiling at you, his eyes showing nothing but the way he looks at you in private.

"Um, sure." You nod and gather your things.

"I'll see you guys later?" You ask your friends hesitantly. Harry and Hermione both agree with "of course" while Ron says nothing.

When you start walking with Draco, he slips his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers. You try to avoid the shocked and somewhat disgusted looks from the rest of the school. Their minds are probably racing. You sneak a glance over at Draco but he's acting like nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

"Draco," you whisper. "What are you doing?"

He leads you out of the Great Hall and into the corridors before answering. "What, I can't walk my girlfriend to class?" He smirks at you as he helps you up onto the moving staircase.

Your cheeks heat up. It's still so new, hearing him refer to you as his girlfriend. "That's not what I meant."

He shrugs. "You were right. I'm tired of hiding." He kisses your cheek and you're almost positive the group of third year Hufflepuff girls shrieked in surprise.

"Besides," he continues. "I want all of those Gryffindor boys to know you're taken."

"And how are your friends going to take it?" You ask apprehensively. You know this is a big step for him to take and the last thing you want is for him to regret being with you.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see." He grins wickedly at you. "But at least I'll get Pansy off my back finally."

You laugh. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. That girl is in love with you."

"Well, that's too bad for her because I'm in love with another girl. And she's a much better catch than Parkinson." He leans down to kiss you just as McGonagall appears at the top of the stairs.

She stops abruptly, gasping. You and Draco immediately pull apart, facing your professor.

"Mr. Malfoy, Miss y/l/n. Please keep the snogging in the corridors to a minimum. We have children present."

You and Draco nod quickly as she sweeps past you. Draco pulls you down the hall, kissing you once again as soon as her back is turned.

***

To say things at school have changed for you is an understatement. Ever since Draco publicly walked you to class, he's been with you every second he was able to. He walked you to every class, studied with you and even ate some meals with you, just the two of you at the end of the Slytherin table.

You had never been completely invisible around school. It's really hard to go unnoticed around here when you're friends with Harry Potter and also the only muggle-born Slytherin in existence. But now, people look at you as if you're a zoo animal. The school's been buzzing about Draco and you for two weeks now. Even Ron had eventually come around. It was a week after you and Draco had gone public with your relationship. You were down by the lake reading when he approached you.

"Can we talk?" He asked, feet shuffling in the grass.

You scoot over, making room for him to sit. "Of course."

"I've been a real git and I'm sorry. I really miss you and I just want to be friends again."

A small part of you wanted to stay angry. He had ignored you for weeks and did nothing but say awful things about your relationship. But you also really missed your friend. You've been waiting for him to come back for weeks and you just really wanted things to be good again.

"Oh Ron, of course we're still friends again. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"No, I understand why you didn't. I acted like a bloody idiot that day, of course you didn't want to tell me. I just was in shock, I guess. Out of everyone I could've imagined you with, it was certainly never Malfoy."

You chuckle. "Yeah, me neither."

"You're like my sister y/n. I just was worried about you getting hurt. Part of the reason why I kept shutting you out was because I figured he was just going to break your heart and you'd be back anyway. But I hate to admit, you two seem...really happy together." He turns his head towards you, a half-smile on his face.

You were overjoyed that Ron was back in your life and things could sort of return back to normal. Besides the fact you have a new boyfriend.

And Draco is a really good boyfriend. He spends as much time as he can with you and he's even stopped going after the trio. He just ignores them now but that's better than him insulting them. He even tries to bring you around his friends but it usually never goes over really well.

The first time he had called you over to hang out with his friends, you had been crossing the common room to retreat to your dorm. You had just finished doing homework with Hermione and were ready to go to bed. Draco and his friends were occupying the couch and armchairs in the corner, laughing and talking.

As soon as he saw you, he called your name, rushing over to you. You had smiled politely but were stilling inching towards the door to the dorms. You didn't wish to intrude on him and his friends.

"Come," he said, grabbing your hand. "Hang out. I've barely seen you all day."

Your eyes flick over to the group of rich purebloods. Their conversation had ceased and now their eyes were trained on you. Most filled with disgust, especially Pansy. Others just blank stares. Pansy leaned over and whispered something to Theodore Nott who smirked in response, stifling a laugh.

You bit your lap, turning back to Draco. "I don't know, I'm really tired. I don't want to intrude..."

"Nonsense, you're not intruding." Draco cut you off and dragged you over to his friends, pulling you to sit next to him.

You endured over an hour of awkward looks and minimal conversation that included you. The only person who seemed interested in you was Blaise so that was a bit of relief. Still, you had avoided hanging out with Draco's friends since.

Draco has since sensed your discomfort around his friends and tries not to force you to come along anymore when you don't want to. Even though you don't really wish to spend your time with the spoiled purebloods he surrounds himself with, you are grateful he wanted to at least try to bring you around his friends. Now it's your turn.

***

"y/n, I don't think I can do this."

You and Draco are standing at the edge of the courtyard during a free period. It's a beautiful day outside and the students are taking advantage of the nice weather.

"Yes you can. And they're my best friends so you have to," you reply, pushing him in the back slightly. "Now go."

You continue to push him towards the middle of the courtyard, right to the table where the golden trio is seated. His steps slow as at the two of you grow nearer to the table but you continue to push him until he's right at the head of the table. You stand beside him, elbowing him in the side to say something.

He clears his throat. "Hey."

Your friends heads snap up. Harry looks between a mix of shock and amusement, Hermione looks apprehensive and Ron just looks confused. They look a bit calmer seeing that he's accompanied by you.

"Malfoy?" Ron asks, tilting his head.

"Mmhmm, yeah," Draco mumbles.

You pull out your wand, pressing it into his side. "Be nice," you threaten. The trio stifle their giggles.

Draco sighs and reaches into his robe pocket, pulling out a folded up piece of parchment. He quickly opens it before clearing his throat again. "Right, so Granger-"

"Her name is Hermione," you interject, glaring at him.

"Sorry. Hermione," Draco says slowly, almost begrudgingly. His attention goes back to the paper. "I wanted to apologize for making fun of your blood status and calling you that bad name."

He turns his attention to Harry. "Potter-"

"Harry," you correct him.

Draco glares at you in annoyance. "Harry," he manages to get out. It sounds like it pains him and you want to laugh at how dramatic he is. You glance over at the trio and they're also fighting back shocked smiles.

Draco continues. "I wanted to apologize for insulting you for four years and for always pointing out the fact that you don't have parents."

"Oh my god," you sigh. This man is so embarrassing. Harry has to place his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing.

Finally he turns to Ron. "And Weaselbee-."

You dig your wand further into his side, making him yelp.

"Sorry, Ron! I meant Ron." He sighs. "I'm sorry for always pointing out that your family is very...poor...and...redheaded," he mumbles out the rest.

"Seriously?" You roll your eyes at the blond next to you. You asked him to write serious apologies and this is what he came up with?

Draco ignores you, sliding the paper back into this pocket. He finally looks up at your friends, who are still fighting back laughs.

"I'm sorry, okay?" His eyes run over all of their faces, looking at them expectantly.

"Thanks Malfoy," Ron laughs. "That was the highlight of my day."

"Yeah, thanks Malfoy," Harry chuckles, shaking his head.

"Thank you, really." Hermione's voice is genuine but she can't help the giggles from coming through.

Draco shrugs, appearing to seem unbothered. "Yeah, whatever." He turns back to you. "Can we go now?"

You roll your eyes before nodding. You mouth "I'm sorry" to your friends behind your boyfriend's back to which they just smile and wave in response.

"What the hell just happened?" Ron asks once you and Draco are walking away. His laughs have fully come out along with Harry's and Hermione's.

"No idea, but he must really love her to come and publicly apologize to us. Even if what he said wasn't really the best," Hermione laughs.

As soon as you pull Draco back to the corridor, you stop in front of him, arms crossed.

"I'm going to kill you."

He puts his hands up in surrender. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

Kind of a filler chapter, tried to incorporate some lightheartedness before everything comes crashing down. Starting the next chapter is when things really start happening. Thanks for reading!

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sourstilinski · 2 years

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How can I be added onto the tag list?

Just message me privately so I can see your username and you’ll be added for the next chapter! Thanks so much for reading!!

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sourstilinski · 2 years

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when is chapter 8 comingggg

Within the next week! I’ve just been so busy but it’s coming! Thank you so much for reading!!

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sourstilinski · 2 years

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Are You With Me? (Draco Malfoy x y/n) Chapter 7

READ PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE

To your surprise, things have been really good with Draco the past few weeks. He's been nothing but sweet and gentle with you. His friends have also seemed to be less interested in harassing you, you're not quite sure how he accomplished that. You thought it better not to ask. Draco himself has also been less of a bully throughout the school. You overhead him tell Crabbe that he had "better things to do than harass some eleven year olds" but you knew the real reason.

Unbeknownst to you, Draco was falling deeper in love with you everyday. It was freeing, to be able to feel this way for someone. He's sure he's never felt like this before and he's also sure he won't be able to feel this way for anyone else. You did something to him that he couldn't explain, made him feel things inside.

He thought about you constantly. Every moment he wasn't with you, he was looking forward to the next time he got to see you. Even if he didn't interact with you. He'd watch you at every meal, sometimes you're at the Slytherin table near the end. But most of the time you're with the Gryffindors. His heart aches every time he sees you over there. He gazes at you in class or in the courtyard and even watches you walk the halls with the trio. It still baffles him why you're such good friends with them and it still annoys him immensely that you're so fond of Potter.

Draco would never admit it but he was jealous of Potter. He was the school hero, the chosen one, the quidditch star. Every thing that little scar-head touched turned to gold. It infuriated Draco. He wouldn't let Potter take you away from him too.

It's a gorgeous sunny afternoon when you meet Draco down by the lake. You got his owl after lunch asking you to meet him down there for a study date. You're excited to spend some much needed time with your boyfriend. Studying for OWLS was taking up all of your time. Exams were fast approaching in only a month and you needed to pass with flying colors if you wanted to be considered for any of your top career choices.

The impending exams also meant that the school year was rapidly approaching the close, meaning you wouldn't be able to see Draco for three months. You tried not to let it bother you but you couldn't help it. You were going to miss him terribly.

All worries of the future drift away when you see that blonde head you love so much sitting criss-crossed in the grass. His back is to you, his books and parchment sprawled in front him as he leans his elbows on his knees. A brown bag filled with candy from Honeydukes laid open next to him, it's become a tradition of yours.

"I'm surprised you're actually sitting in the grass," you tease, plopping down across from him. "You're such a diva about your clothes."

He rolls his eyes playfully. "Anything for you."

"So, why'd you ask me to meet you out here?"

Draco wasn't much for the outdoors. He hated Herbology and was afraid of bugs. You'd also heard about the time he was terrified during his trip to the Dark Forest during attention first year.

"You mentioned how your dad used to take you to the lake near your house and how it used to help you think," Draco says. "I thought we could use the help to study for exams."

You smile broadly at your thoughtful boyfriend. You had told him about the trips to the lake with your dad months ago, before you were dating. You're shocked and touched he remembered.

"That's really sweet Draco. This was really thoughtful of you to remember."

"Of course, darling." He leans in, placing his hand on the side of your face. His lips ghost over yours before he gently presses them against your own. You lean into his touch, wanting to savor every moment you have with your boyfriend over the last month of classes.

He deepens the kiss, making you stumble back, causing him to chuckle. You giggle and push him off of you.

"Well, this is just brilliant."

You and Draco jump up at the sound of the snarky tone. You know that voice well, Ron. Both pairs of eyes widen when you see the golden trio standing in front of you. Ron is fuming, fists balled as Hermione and Harry stand a couple steps behind him, flanking his sides.

"I can't believe you," Ron continues, face turning redder by the second. "Not only have you been running off with him, you've been lying to our faces about it too!"

"Ron..." Harry's tone is gentle but warning, pleading him not to continue. He places a hand on his friend's shoulder which Ron immediately shrugs off.

He takes another step towards you. "So have you just forgotten about everything he's done to us over the years? How he's tortured us on a regular basis? How he's called you and Hermione that AWFUL word repeatedly?!"

"Ron," Harry says again, more forcefully this time. "Let's not do this here." Ron ignores him again.

"I'm sorry," you stutter out, your eyes filling with tears. The last thing you wanted was for them find out this way.

"Why him? Why him of all people?" Ron shakes his head at you repeatedly. "Are you mental? Have you no brains?"

"Hey," barks Draco, stepping forward towards the redhead. "No need to speak to her like that."

"No one's talking to you Malfoy," Ron snaps, his laser gaze now focused on the blonde at your side. "This doesn't concern you."

"When you're disrespecting my girlfriend, it does concern me." Draco's jaw clenches as he stares down your friend.

Ron scoffs. "Tell that to your stupid friends who insult her, won't you?" Ron stares at you, eyes searching yours for some kind of explanation. "I can't believe you would do this y/n."

He stalks away, back towards the castle. Tears start streaming down your face as you look at Hermione. She hasn't said a word the whole time but when she finally meets your eyes, her expression makes your stomach drop to the floor. She looks utterly devastated and betrayed. She quickly avoids your gaze and abruptly turns around, following Ron.

You feel like a traitor. You and Hermione had bonded over the fact that you were muggle-borns from the beginning. For the two of you, it was something to be proud of. You had cried together many nights after being called "mudblood" by the Slytherins, most of the time being Draco. Of course her best friend dating her tormentor was a slap in the face to Hermione. You have never felt guiltier.

You finally look at Harry, completely heartbroken. His expression is filled with sympathy and pity, he feels sorry for you. But something in his face tells you he knew this would happen, he just didn't know when.

"I'm sorry," he says, and he really sounds like he means it. You don't say anything as he proceeds back up the path towards the castle.

You can't move, you can't think. You've just lost your three best friends. You want to speak but your throat feels like sand. You feel Draco slip his hand into yours.

"Love, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" His voice sounds echoey in your ears, like he's far away.

You finally regain the ability to speak. "I have to go." You rip your hand out of his grasp and start walking back towards the castle, not once looking back at Draco.

***

It's been a week since you've spoken to your friends. They avoid you like the plague in class and during free periods. Hermione and Ron won't even look at you, but Harry will throw you sympathetic glances. Every once in a while you and Harry will engage in short conversation in between classes but nothing more. You can't sit with them at the Gryffindor table so you either sit alone at the Slytherin table or don't go down for meals at all. Draco's starting to be concerned for your well-being. You stay in your room all day and only leave when necessary for class. Draco will sneak you into his room at night but that's really the only time you spend together. Despite your friends knowing, you still haven't gone public with your relationship. You don't believe Draco is ready to tell his friends.

You're laying across his bed on your stomach, textbooks open. You've been reading the same sentence over and over again for about five minutes now. No matter what you do, you just can't seem to focus. You're going to fail all of your exams. You wish Hermione was here.

"Y/n, I'm worried about you." Draco looks over at you from where he's seated at his desk. "You can't stay locked in the dungeons forever. I want to help you feel better."

"What's the point? My friends hate me," you mutter miserably.

"Stop that, they don't hate you. They'll come around, I'm sure of it."

"And what if they don't?"

"Then they weren't really your friends anyways." He turns around in his chair to face you. "As long as we have each other, who cares what anyone else thinks?"

You sit up on his bed, pushing your textbook aside. "Then why haven't you told your friends about us yet?"

His soft expression falls as his face grows stoic. "Can we not talk about this again? I told you, I'm waiting for the right time."

"Are you embarrassed of me?"

He looks like you've just slapped him. "What? No-"

"That's why you don't want to tell anyone about us," you interrupt.

"That's not true," he protests, shaking his head vigorously.

"Then what's the reason?" Your voice is raised now as you sit up on his bed. "I know what your friends are like, Draco, I've lived among them for five years. You can't tell me I'm wrong. Not to mention your parents, you can't deny that they would hate me."

"Maybe I don't want to face the world yet, okay?!" It's like the dams burst inside Draco for the first time. He looked...hurt and scared. "For the first time in my life, I have something good. Something to look forward to, something-no. Someone who makes me very happy. And maybe I'm not ready to share you with the world and have you poisoned by my friends and family!"

He's breathing heavy, nervous sweat trailing along his hairline. He looks like he's been holding this is inside for a while. You don't respond. You just look at him, trying to understand this boy before you.

"You don't understand because your relationship with your friends and family isn't based on status. Your friends and family support you in whatever you do. I've never had that." His head hangs sadly as he avoids your eyes. "Which is why I know your friends will actually come around."

"Draco." You stand and walk over to him. You take his hands in yours, rubbing your thumbs over his fingers. You want to try to give him reassurance but you know what you might be facing. "They're your friends, they'll understand."

"No, you don't understand," he snaps.

"Then help me to understand," you plead. "I'm trying here."

"You will never understand what it's like!" He hisses, snatching his hands out of yours. "You don't have parents who'll disown you the moment you don't do exactly as they say! You don't have friends who don't care about you other than the fact that you're rich and popular!"

For once, you're truly speechless. He's right, you don't know what that's like. Your parents love you, no matter if you're a wizard or a muggle. Sure, they don't really understand you, but they try. Granted, you and your friends aren't speaking right now but you know they care about you. Everything they've ever done for you proves they care for you.

You've never seen Draco like this. Sure, you've gotten into your fair share of arguments, even before you were dating. But he's never opened up to you before like this. He always suppresses his true feelings during arguments.He usually looks like he wants to say something but then never does. His jaw is always set tight as he sits in silence, you doing the same. Eventually one of you will break and apologize first.

Now he's sitting on his bed, facing away from you. You take a seat next to him cautiously, not wanting to upset him anymore. He's never opened up to you about his feelings towards his friends and family and you don't want him to shut down now.

"You're right."

He shifts slightly. He doesn't speak or move anymore. You take this as you sign to continue.

"I don't know what that's like. But I'm sure your parents and your friends care about you more than you think. Some people just have difficulty showing their emotions." You slide your hand through his, resting them on your knee. "Including you."

He scoffs slightly, you ignore it.

"I think," you continue. "sometimes you don't tell me how you really feel about things. I think you bottle a lot of things inside of you. And I think some of it just came out tonight." You chuckle slightly, trying to lighten the mood. When he chimes in, you smile. "I want you to be able to be honest with me. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me."

"I don't want you to think I'm weak," he mutters. "Or a coward."

"I don't think you're those things." You lean your head on his shoulder. "I think you're brilliant and ambitious and confident. You could be a bit nicer but we're going to work on that."

The two of you chuckle and you finally feel like this invisible wall that's been built between you two is starting to fall. He's starting to trust you with things he hasn't shared with others and you feel like maybe there's hope for the two of you after all. Maybe this isn't a doomed relationship between the pureblooded heir and the muggle-born after all.

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sourstilinski · 2 years

Text

Are You With Me? (Draco Malfoy x y/n) Chapter 6

READ PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE

The morning after your kiss with Draco, you were unsure what to think. Everything that he confessed to you, did he mean it? Maybe he was just caught up in the moment when he kissed you. Before this year, your entire relationship with him had consisted of him making fun of you and ignoring you. Why now?

You slowly went down to the Great Hall for breakfast, trying not to look for Draco but also unable to help yourself. When your eyes land on the blond, he's sitting at his usual spot. Blaise and Pansy flank his sides as they talk excitedly to each other. Pansy is leaning ever so slightly on Draco. You watch as he smiles at her while they talk.

You feel a slight drop in your stomach. What if that kiss last night meant nothing to him? What if you were a joke or a dare? They were probably laughing about you right now. But to your surprise, his head turns towards you as if he could feel your stare. When his eyes meet yours, it's not the usual scowl or blank stare. His eyes light up slightly, a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. As soon as it's there, it's gone again. He turns his focus back to his friends. Still, you can't help but feel little flutters in your stomach.

The rest of the day you worried about seeing him in the library. What would the dynamic be when the two of you were alone again? Would he want to talk about it? Would he want to move on like it never happened? You could barely pay attention to classes or conversations with the trio all day. All you could think about was how the closer it got to nightfall, the more nervous you were to go to the library.

When you arrived at your usual secluded spot that night, he was already there. However, instead of sitting in his usual seat with his back towards where you're standing, he's seated across the table next to the chair you usually occupy.

His head snaps up at the sound of your footsteps, a small smile spreading across his face. "Hey you."

"Hi." You're slightly breathless by this new greeting and the fact that he wants to sit next to you. You slowly slide into the seat next to him, pulling your books out of your bag.

The whole vibe of this study session was brand new territory. He’s sitting awfully close to you, his hand grabbing yours under the table. When he kissed you at the end of the night, you knew the deal had been sealed. Your relationship had drastically changed. That was two months ago now and surprisingly, things were very good.

Your nightly study sessions turned more into make out sessions. However, they were now not only confined to the late evenings. Every spare moment the two of you had was spent in empty classrooms, abandoned corridors or even storage closets. Unfortunately though, your friends have started to notice your frequent disappearances within recent weeks.

It’s a beautiful spring day on the Hogwarts grounds. You’re seated at a table in the courtyard with the trio and Ginny. The courtyard was awfully crowded today, most of the students taking advantage of the nice weather.

“Surprised you’ve been out here so long,” Ron jokingly says to you. “Lately, we’ve barely seen you for longer than five minutes.”

You chuckle sheepishly, trying to stop the blush from creeping upon your cheeks. “I’ve just been stressed about OWLS, that’s all.”

You try to avert your eyes but Harry catches your gaze. His face is blank but you can see it in his eyes. The look of recognition. You’ve wondered on more than one occasion whether or not he’s caught on to the fact that your relationship with Draco is now no longer platonic. He never lets on if he knows.

“Ron’s right, you have been disappearing,” Hermione chimes in. “But for good reason if you’re studying. That’s what I’ve been trying to explain to these two.” Her eyes narrow at Ron and Harry across the table.

Just as they’re about to say something in surrender, shouts and laughter come from the other side of the courtyard. You all look towards where the sound is coming from. Draco stands with his crowd of Slytherins, two Hufflepuff second years standing in front of them, shaking. Goyle says something insulting towards the two younger students. You can’t hear what it was but the students around look on and laugh, a bigger crowd forms around them. The worst part is Draco appears to be the ringleader, egging his stupid friends on.

You avert your eyes. You hate when he acts like this. The two of you agreed that you would keep your relationship a secret. You really didn’t want to have to deal with telling your friends about him. You knew they would hate it, they might even exile you. A part of you also knew that Draco didn’t want people to know he was dating you, at least not yet.

Throughout your two months together, you had told him before you hate when he picks on other kids. It was the same response every time. “I’m sorry but you know I have to or else people will start asking questions.” It drove you crazy. But you really liked him and surprisingly, he was very sweet and thoughtful towards you. You were pretty sure you were the only one who saw that side of him.

“Why doesn’t he pick on someone his own size?” Ginny sneers, glaring at your boyfriend.

“Because he’s a no good git,” Ron quips. “Do you expect anything less?”

You swallow hard. You hate feeling like you have to defend him, but you can’t defend him. Not when he acts like this. Goyle’s voice rings out across the courtyard.

“You don’t belong here mudblood.”

Most of the students around go silent. The Slytherins laugh, Draco included. Your stomach drops, you feel sick.

“They’re such animals,” Hermione snaps. “And to think, he’s a prefect.”

You lower your gaze back to your textbook. You can’t stand to see the look on Harry’s face anymore. The look of betrayal.

***

You avoid Draco the rest of the day, which really isn’t that difficult, considering you can’t meet in public. You have plans to meet in the library later that night but instead of going, you end up walking the corridors, You’re angry with him. How can he be so sweet and gentle with you and then do that to other kids? How does he not feel guilty? You think of the looks of disgust on your friends faces earlier today. They hate Draco with every fiber of their beings and honestly, rightfully so. They would hate you too if they found out. If your parents knew you were seeing someone like this, they would certainly tell you that you’re wasting your time.

You don’t know how long you’ve been roaming the corridors. But you figure it must have been a very long time when you come face to face with a very worried Draco. His look of concern quickly turns into frustration.

“Where have you been? When you didn’t show, I thought something happened to you!” His tone and expression emit concern but you can see his eyes darting around to make sure no one can see or hear you two. For some reason, that makes you feel ill.

“I just went for a walk. I’m too tired to study, I’m going to bed.” You attempt to walk past him but he immediately knows something is wrong.

He grabs your hands, pulling you towards him, His eyes search yours, his filled with concern. “What’s wrong? Has something happened? Did I do something?”

“Why do you have to be the school bully?”

His eyes widen as he pulls back from you. “If you’re talking about what happened today, that was nothing.”

“That was nothing? You and your friends harassing twelve year olds is not nothing,” You scoff. “And calling him that awful word!”

“I didn’t say it!” The blonde shakes his head fervently, his face growing red.

“But you stood there while someone else did.” You cross your arms over your chest.

“What do you expect me to do? You know who I am!”

“Do I? Because when you’re with me, you’re one way. And when you’re with everyone else, you’re a completely different person.”

He opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by the last people you want to see.

“Malfoy?” Goyle’s gruff voice echos against the stone walls. Blaise Zabini stands next to him. At least he isn’t glaring at you like the other Slytherins do.

“What are you guys doing here?” Draco asks, looking past you to address his friends.

“Just roaming, got bored in the common room,” Blaise drawls. “What are you doing?” His eyes go back and forth from Draco to you, a small smile just barely tugging at his lips.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed, mudblood?” Goyle jokes darkly.

You gulp hard, watching the color leave Draco’s face. Neither of you says anything for at least a minute. Your heart sinks. You always knew he would probably never defend you in front of his friends but this just proves it.

“Um, yeah, I was just telling her to get back to the dungeons,” Draco stammers. Your heart drops all the way to the floor.

“Yeah so I’ll be going now.” You quickly turn on your heel and flee the corridor as fast as possible. You blink back tears, you don’t want anyone to have the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

Draco wants to reach out for you. His heart broke at the look on your face when Goyle called you that word. His heart broke even more when you realized that he wasn’t going to defend you. Draco had never felt worse. He really liked you, but he was too much of a coward to show it. He still valued other people’s opinions of him more than his own happiness.

Blaise watched the silent interaction between you and Draco. He had known the Malfoy heir for a long time and he wasn’t clueless like Crabbe or Goyle. He could tell when his friend was hiding something. He didn’t miss the little glances between you and Draco. Could it be that the pureblood prince had found love with the muggleborn?

You go back to the dungeons and retreat to your dorm. Careful not to wake your roommates up, you laid in your bed and sobbed. You feel so pathetic. How can you let him have this effect on you?

A part of you knows that he has to act like he used to in front of his friends. The two of you agreed to keep this a secret, he was only just playing his part, you knew that. But then why weren’t you being awful to him? Well, you had never really been awful to him before. Every time he was near, you had simply ignored him to the best of your abilities.

You hated feeling like this. You shouldn’t feel like this, he still likes you. He just has to do this for the sake of your relationship. You keep repeating that over in your mind, trying to will yourself to believe it. You want to, you almost do. But a small part of your brain keeps replaying the same question over and over: If he really liked you, why wouldn’t he defend you?

***

The next morning, Draco keeps trying to catch your gaze during breakfast but you refuse to look over there. You know it might be wrong to be this upset but you can’t help it. He’s managed to hurt your feelings yet again. You distract yourself by joining in the quidditch conversation with Harry and Ron while Hermione reads the the Daily Prophet, her head shaking at you in amusement occasionally.

“I swear y/n,” she’d say. “I don’t know how you can keep up with their ‘sports talk.’”

“Some girls appreciate the true art of quidditch,” Ron smirks at the brunette girl beside him to which she just rolls her eyes.

But this morning, her curly head wasn’t buried in the paper. Instead, she was gazing at you with concerned eyes.

“Y/n, are you alright? You seem a bit..off?” Her brown eyes searched yours.

“Oh, I’m fine. Just tired, I didn’t sleep much last night.” It wasn’t a lie.

Fortunately, you were saved by any further interrogation by the bell, signaling classes were to start soon. You quickly stand to leave, eager to bolt before Draco tries to catch you in the hall.

A hand grabs your arm. “Hey y/n.” You let out a breath of relief. It’s Harry.

“Can I walk with you to Ancient Runes? There’s something I want to ask you.”

A little caught off guard, you nod but quickly smile at him. “Of course, is something wrong?”

He returns your smile. “Of course not, just a homework question.” The smile doesn’t meet his eyes.

The two of you part with Hermione and Ron and head up the stairs towards your class. You partake in small talk until you round a corner towards an empty hallway. As soon as you're alone, you take the opportunity to ask him.

"Harry, what's going on?"

He stops walking, almost making you stumble.

His voice gets low. "I saw you on the map last night with Malfoy, Goyle and Zabini. Did they hurt you?"

Your cheeks go red, shaking your head. "No, it's nothing."

He sighs. "Y/n, if he's hurt you I'll hex him into next week. I'll-"

"No," you interrupt him. "We just got in a fight and Goyle and Zabini walked in. Obviously, we weren't going to finish our conversation so I went back to my dorm."

Harry doesn't say anything for a moment. "Do you love him?"

Your eyes grow wide. "What are you talking-"

"Come on, y/n." He raises a brow at you. "I might wear glasses but I'm not blind."

You start to laugh and so does he. It's a relief, knowing he's not angry with you.

You shrug. "I don't know, maybe."

He nods, lowering his eyes to the floor. "It's not my decision but I think you're making a mistake. You're my friend and I don't want to see you get hurt."

You bite your lip, of course he would say something like this. A part of you feared that he was right. You had already been hurt by Draco many times before. Was it worth it to open your heart to him?

"Harry, I-"

"Don't you think if he actually cared about you he wouldn't hide you?"

Ouch, that one hurt. But it was your decision too, you reminded yourself. You still weren't ready to face the wrath from Ron and Hermione.

You were about to answer when you saw Harry's gaze lock on something behind you. You turn to see Draco standing at the end of the corridor. His saddened face turns to annoyance when he sees you with Harry.

"I should be going. You guys need to talk," Harry mutters, starting to walk away.

"Wait," you start.

He turns back to look at you and he gives you a look of somewhat reassurance. "I'll see you at lunch." He gives you a pressed lip smile and walks down the hall. Draco shoots him daggers as he passes, which Harry returns.

As soon as Harry is out of sight, Draco begins walking towards you briskly.

"I'm sorry." His gray eyes are filled with regret. "I'm so so sorry about what happened last night."

"It's okay." You shrug. "I didn't expect you to defend me, I know we're keeping us a secret. But it still hurt."

He takes your hands in his, caressing your palms. "Please believe me when I tell you I never want to hurt you. I love you."

You freeze, your breath stopping in your throat. Did he just say what you think he said? He loves you? Do you love him? A few minutes ago with Harry, you hadn't been sure. A few minutes ago, you weren't even sure if Draco still wanted to be with you.

Draco eventually realizes what he said. His eyes grow huge as he pulls his hands out of yours. "Um, I-I didn't mean it like that."

Your stomach plummets with worry. He didn't mean it?!

"You didn't mean it?" Your voice comes out way quieter and more pathetic sounding than you would have liked.

You didn't think it was possible, but his eyes get even bigger. "No! I mean yes! I mean, I think I do. These past few months of my life have been the best and it's all because of you." He averts his eyes from yours. "But if you don't feel the same, let's just forget this entire conversation happened."

Your heart melts as you watch the most notorious boy at school stumble over his words in front of you. Yeah, you definitely loved him. And not in the way you love Harry and Ron, they're practically your brothers. This love for Draco was so much more. It was the feeling like you can't breathe when he's looking at you or that you can't go a minute without thinking about him. You knew you were only sixteen but as far as you were concerned, this was real.

You grab his hands back in yours. "I love you too."

His eyes lock on yours. "You do? I don't want you taking pity on me."

You roll your eyes at his prideful nature. "No one's taking pity on you, Malfoy." You smirk up at him as you step closer.

He smirks down at you, eyes sparkling. "Going back to Malfoy again, I see?"

"It's what you like to be called by your friends," you retort playfully.

"Yeah but we're not friends." He pulls you in for a quick kiss, you can feel his smirk on your lips as he pulls away. "Besides, I like it when you call me by my first name."

You smile up at him, your hands around his shoulders, his on your waist. "I love you Draco."

His eyes light up with adoration as he smiles at you, a slight pink tinges his cheeks. "I love you too y/n."

You start to pull away from him. "I'm going to be late."

He holds you against him. "Nope, you're not going." He takes your hand and starts pulling you down the hall.

"What? Draco, I have to go to class!" You protest, trying to dig your heels into the floor but with no avail.

"Not today. We're skipping this period," he says matter-of-factly as he continues to pull you away. "I'm going to spend this class time doing much more important things, like spending time with the person I love."

You couldn't argue with that.

TAGLIST:

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