So it’s not keeping you up at night then?

I don’t even know why you’re saying it is the problem. Just go out and be doing things that make you happy.

I don’t think you are understanding what I’m saying at all… But okay.

Chris didn’t want to argue with her. It was their thing, argue and then fall into bed. This wasn’t going to remedy any of the problems that seemed to begin boil over. “I just want you to be happy, Sophia. That’s all I want from all of this.” Chris smiled softly, wiping away one of the few tears that streaked down her cheek. “Now smile, please.”

She nodded, understanding that. Sophie looked into his eyes, just staring at them for a few moments, trying not to let her brain realize that this was truly the end because she didn’t want to completely lose it in front of him. “I can’t and it wouldn’t be real if I did.” She shrugged, this wasn’t a happy moment for her and she wouldn’t apologize for feeling the depth of this loss as pain.

His thumb passed over her cheek, a soothing motion to placate her unrest. his heart ached from the crackling sorrow embedded in every word. “Oh, Sophia…I wish that I could have been better for you. You deserve all those things and more. You always deserves better than me and I hope that you get to love and be loved as wildly as one could possibly be.” Chris sighed in contempt, “I promise that I’ll consider my options but you gotta promise me one thing..” he started with a pregnant pause. “That no matter what happens from here on out, we’re still friends. Or something like that because just because we aren’t together doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life.”

She shook her head, biting her lip as the first tears fell, now unable to hold them off. “It’s not about being better or me deserving better than you. You were and are everything I needed. You just don’t feel the same way about me. I get that life and love don’t always work out that way. But I can’t let you believe you weren’t good enough for me because that’s not the truth.” She knew that he was going to get annoyed with her for arguing the topic. But they weren’t together anymore and she needed him to understand that. “Yeah. Okay. Good, I’d like that.”

“Anything,” he muttered knowing how hard this was. Nothing felt worse than the end. It was the last page of a chapter he’d held to for so damn long. Chris stepped closer, his hand pressed to her cheek.

Sophie couldn’t go there yet, she had to remain strong for at least a few more minutes because there were things she needed him to know, “Two things actually,” Her face leaned into his hand gently, “Next time you tell someone you love them, mean it. You are an amazing man and any girl would be lucky to have you. I know that you don’t think that. But it’s the truth and no one else should lose you like this. I’m willing to take the fall but you have to learn from it and know your worth.” Sophie released a shaky breathe, feeling the tears closing in on her eyelids. “The second is that I know you still have a chance in not going to the army. Until your name is on that list it isn’t official. So promise me that you’re doing this for you above all else. I understand that Ollie and Mina are a part of it, but you can’t put the burden of this on their shoulders. It isn’t fair to them. I think you’d be amazing in the army, and even if it was far from your dream. I think that you have the makings of a man who’d strive in that line of work. But if it’s something you feel you’d wind up regretting even the tiniest bit, then at the very least explore other options. Okay?” She finished with a deep breathe, letting her eyes closed, glad that she’d finally been able to get that off her chest.

Chris wanted to cradled her face and comfort her but he was hesitant. He didn’t feel the shift at first but it had started to grow deeper each passing day. Did he loved Sophia? Yes. Was in love with her? He didn’t know. His head said one thing but his heart screamed something else. “I don’t know what’s going on with me but I”m sorry. I don’t think I can love you the way you need me to love you. Don’t take this as me never loving you because I do but I don’t know if it’s in the way you love me.” He hated himself for this. He always would.

And there it was. He was finally admitting the truth to himself. Even though she already knew it her heart, it didn’t make the words hurt any less when they fell from his mouth. She nodded pursing her lips as she shut her eyes with a sigh for a moment. When she opened them, she looked into his eyes, trying her best to keep her composure. “Promise me something?”

Sophie noticed a person golfing in the middle of the park which she found to be an odd sort of sight. As she ran closer she noticed the person was in fact Alec Kingsley. The girl ran towards her new friend with a smile only to have him hand her the golf club in a rush. “Wait what?”

Alec quickly made a face once hearing the glass break as the ball had now smashed through the window.“–Oops.” Looking around, he spotted the person walking past him a small grin quickly appearing over his features as he handed them the golf club. “Hey you here have this, Happy birthday or whatever.” With that, he tried to walk away. 

“You might love it, but don’t get addicted cause that’ll be on me. Then i’ll have to rehab you back to sanity myself. Alright, it’s pretty easy, I usually go for the roll and smoke just cause it’s less messy”

“Don’t worry I won’t. Dance is far to important to allow that to happen. I just want to try it. What’s the roll and smoke?”

text: all contacts

Ava: I love that show so much.

Ava: Exactly. He's a hot Austrailian dude and I'm not letting that go. Holy shit, babe! Congrats!!

Sophie: It's amazing. Feel free to gush about it to me anytime.

Sophie: Oh I know who he is. I'm your maid of honor for the wedding remember? Thank you!!

Text: Hennessey

Hennessey: Thanks, Soph. Bring that face back into my life soon.

Sophie: I'm free this weekend anytime babe. Just let me know.

Okay Davis, suit yourself. I don’t know what to tell you if you won’t believe me.

Don’t be silly Davis you’re a stable in this town. Everyone knows the Baker twins. All you have to do is be your charming self and people will welcome you with open arms. Don’t hide yourself from everyone! That’s no fair!

Chris felt the edging feeling that loomed over him the past couple of weeks. His eyes fell over hers for a moment, looking back down at his feet. “I don’t know anymore, Soph. I mean–as bad as I want this to work we just–we’re in different places now. Things are different. Do I make you happy? The happiest you can be? If not, then it’s not working.”

Ever since Mina had come back into his life, Christopher had started calling her Soph. She’d noticed it immediately though hadn’t thought too much of it until it became a pattern. She knew then though, and she knew now. “It’s not that. At least it’s not that for me. I don’t care where we are in life or where we’re going. I love you and my love for you is enough for me.” She paused with a sigh, knowing it wasn’t enough for him, for them. “I’m not happy, only because I don’t think you love me Chris. Or at least you don’t love me in the way I need to be loved. You don’t want to spend your free time with me, you know? That matters.”

“It was…clarifying.” Chris smiled pushing his gym back higher on his shoulder. “What’s going on?”

“I’m glad.” Sophie shut the front door behind her, moving closer to him. “Um,” Sophie had no idea where to start, reaching out for his hand she smiled at the touch. “I don’t know. I’m just--do you think this is working? Do I make you happy?” She finally got out, managing to meet his eyes in the end.

“Hey, how was the run?” She looked him up and down. Good lord why did he have to be so goddamn beautiful, she thought.

“I have arrived.”

@sophiaevansoth

Text: Chris

Chris: Sure. I can stop by after my run.

Sophie: Perfect.

Text: Chris

Chris: I do happen to have time today, yeah.

Sophie: Awesome. Can you stop by my house whenever that is?

Text: Chris

Sophie: Do you have any free time today?