soothingsoftness - Tumblr blog

soothingsoftness · 1 year

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(:

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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y'know, one thing i don't see get talked about much in regards to asexuality is how it feels to never be 'sexually motivated' by anything

and not just when it comes to advertisements using 'sexy' models to try and sell you stuff, but like. in general

sex as a favor, sex as a bribe, sex in exchange for whatever

casual sex, 'friends with benefits' situations, even simple flirting

it all looks a whole lot different from the perspective of someone who's immune to manipulation via sex appeal, who has virtually no understanding as to why sex would motivate someone to cheat on their partner, etc. etc.

sex is worthless to me

i mean, it's useful as a story element in fiction, but it genuinely perplexes me that sex is such a driving force behind so many aspects of irl society & of people's individual lives, for better or for worse

and that it's so deeply ingrained into how the average person views the world & various situations, because the average person feels sexual attraction, whereas i do not

i think the barrier between aces & allos is actually even deeper than it seems on the surface at times, because it's more than just the grating expectation that everyone must want to 'settle down' and have kids, it's also the fact that the majority of the world is sort of 'in' on a joke that aces will never truly be a part of

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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babies

#they mean so much to me #sasaki and miyano #sasaki to miyano #miyano yoshikazu #tashiro gonzaburou

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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croissaung

#very emotional #vnc

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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would you trust your pfp to do your hrt

#takt would probably tell me to go fuck myself #but I think I’d trust him #simply because he is also very transgender #and probably also takes hrt

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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I want to say this bc it does not get said enough: most grief you experience in your life will have NOTHING to do with death.

This is not talked about enough and as a result ppl struggle to process grief bc the world is telling them that grief is something else.

Grief is about loss, and IF you’d like to define it as a loss of life it is not restricted to loss of life via death. Even then I’d implore you to not view grief as about death or life but again, just loss.

Grief is also about having a shitty childhood that nothing can fix even if you have healed from it as an adult; your childhood was shitty and there’s nothing retroactively you can do about it. You grieve the loss of thriving your past self was denied.

Grief is about friendships that ended abruptly, confusingly and again, there’s nothing you can do to change that. You just have to sit with it. This is the only way grief can ultimately be processed and all it wants by the way: to be accepted and sat with. That’s it.

Grief is about opportunities that have passed, experiences you can’t have because of the way situations have ended up, and having to accept that while you do have your whole future ahead of you, there were some things you wanted to be a certain way then and they weren’t, aren’t and will never be.

Grief is being estranged from your family and missing family closeness even though you do not want to be closer to your parents, because you’re grieving the fact that there is a healthy part of human life you will not experience through them.

Grief can be the job you lost, the plans that fell through, the events that spiraled out of your control

If grief is strictly about life and death, understand that it includes grieving the life you never had and the death of who you used to be, too.

But moreover, grief is about loss.

—–

If my writing helps you consider > donating here,< as FOSTA/SESTA has taken most of my income and I need support as I finish school so I can establish my work.

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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sometimes i think about those quirks that nobody who knows you online would ever know about you? anyway i'm always whistling. i love to whistle and i whistle all the time

#i tap my finger on objects a lot when I’m bored #usually to some obscure rhythm #helps me focus on smth #I also move my hands a lot when I’m speaking #not in a stim way but more of a gesture thing. like. I am speaking with my hands instead of my voice #esp if it’s something I really like!

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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I MADE BREAD TODAY

#i am very happy

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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update why are there four fucking forms of squakabilly and why can’t I find the yellow and black ones

dunno if anyone’s done this yet but I’m working on a living Pokédex for scarlet and violet because for some reason it’s easier than just leaving my boxes unorganized

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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instead of taking melatonin I deal with insomnia by imagining my silly little characters in their silly little situations as god intended

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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Jesus DIDN'T have a prostate I thought we established that Mary reproduced by cloning herself, like some lizards can, which makes Jesus technically female and therefore trans

sometimes i wonder why i am still on this website

#no no anon has a point #transmasc jesus is something I can get behind

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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Best type of character causes at least 50% of their own problems and then cries about it

#me irl

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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My dad and I once had a disagreement over him using the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I said, "That's just not true. Sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you brittle and injured or traumatized."

He stopped and thought about that for a while. He came back later, and said, "It's like wood glue."

He pointed to my bookshelf, which he helped me salvage a while ago. He said, "Do you remember how I explained that, once we used the wood glue on them, the shelves would actually be stronger than they were before they broke?"

I did.

"But before we used the wood glue, those shelves were broken. They couldn't hold up shit. If you had put books on them, they would have collapsed. And that wood glue had to set awhile. If we put anything on them too early, they would have collapsed just the same as if we'd never fixed them at all. You've got to give these things time to set."

It sounded like a pretty good metaphor to me, but one thing I did pick up on was that whatever broke those shelves, that's not the thing that made them stronger. That just broke them. It was being fixed that made them stronger. It was the glue.

So my dad and I agreed, what doesn't kill you doesn't actually make you stronger, but healing does. And if you feel like healing hasn't made you stronger than you were before, you're probably not done healing. You've got to give these things time to set.

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soothingsoftness · 1 year

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