Tumgik
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
ohh how quickly two 15 dollar purchases turn into 30 dollars worth of purchases
2K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
squeezing my pussy and concentrating all the microplastics in my body to print a perfect tiny figurine of a fruit bat
32K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
168K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
If *I* established a kingdom I would simply put an end to the cycle of the rise and fall of empires by governing wisely and being really good at fending off invasions and proving I earned the Mandate of Heaven and not letting my defining character traits end up being my downfall
8K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
guy who has only ever watched pro wrestling, seeing sex for the first time: getting a lot of "pro wrestling" vibes from this....
12K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
52K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
56K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
When you're unsuccessfully looking for something and start gradually increasing your It Could Be There range. Like yeah sure maybe the rice cooker pot is in the freezer, idk
38K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
is the atla fandom still around because i have more to contribute
15K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
it costs zero dollars to be niceys, and friendly. it costs two dollars fifty sense for a ice pop from the ice cream truck. do you want me to spot you? im happy to because i love ypu
13K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
IMO christians should strike against nsfw art by creating a new genre of art of characters like joining monastic orders and performing christian services. it could be called like, nsfh (not safe for heretics). and the idea would be that you are supposed to look at this art while reflecting on god´s relationship with man. and there could be a website dedicated to this named like rule 77 and whenever there was a character design that seemed kinda christiany in vibe people would be like "damn there´s gonna be a lot of nsfh art of this one". this is the type of stuff id dedicate myself to if i was pope to be quite honest
173 notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
Imagine being famous celebrity Kamilah al Jamil, dying and going to the afterlife, walking into the office of the Architect(s) of your entire afterlife experience, and seeing a framed photo of your long-dead, way less successful sister in said Architect’s office because she and her rando friends reformed the entire afterlife system and are directly responsible for you and everyone else not being tortured by chainsaw bears forever.  How do you even react to that?
61K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
I think so much about the food people ate pre-Columbian exchange. Huge parts of cuisine extremely important on both sides of the pond just didn't exist.
You've probably heard a little about what was brought over from the New World, corn, potatoes, cocoa, cassava, peanuts, chili peppers, avocadoes, cranberries, pumpkins, and the like. Imagine cooking without chili! Without potatoes! Modern Indian cuisine contains enormous amounts of potatoes and we just didn't have those for the vast majority of history. The best of the nightshades all on one contiguous hunk of land. Hell, tomatoes! Almost forgot about those.
But we don't often look at what the Old World had. Wheat! Barley! Rice! A profusion of incredible grains, really, the finest poaceae has to offer. Carrots! Tons of rosaceous plants like apples and cherries and pears and peaches and apricots! Grapes! Soy and Bamboo! Okra and watermelon! All these things were simply never found in the Americas. The grains one is the wildest for me, the variety of grains available across Eurasia and Africa was truly astounding.
You know what binds together the food of all cultures across the world? Onions. Onions are fucking everywhere. There's probably onions growing near you right now. Allium Gang Unite.
68K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
go to google dot com and type in boobs you won't believe what happens
7K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 1 month
Text
Pets love to show up like Hello i am Mystery Wet :)
42K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 2 months
Text
Combine your chinese zodiac and astrology sign to make your true fursona
355K notes · View notes
somespicyshrimp · 2 months
Text
in a hotel room very cautiously removing my clothing slowly and constantly looking around the room shifty and scared as fuck anticipating attacks while a beautiful pair of women sitting side by side on the bed in matching lingerie excitedly but restrained with carefully lowered vioices cheer me on. they say Yes thats it thats how sex works! youre doing it right yeah! youve got it keep going! and im finally down to a sports bra and one tube sock when a car alarm putside startles me and i lunge for the empty handgun on the floor and put it in my mouth while they panic and scramble trying to calm me down petting my hair and cooing gently
22K notes · View notes