solobreakfast
have a seat, we're having breakfast
All thoughts a sleep-deprived mind can cook up before the sun rises, my darling.
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Helpful hint:
Telling them "I'd be grateful for one less thing on my plate" can be more effective than making up an excuse. Plus, it's a nicer way of saying "I dont want to" + "I need to respect my time for self care".
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Me: damn, look at this tan!
Me after taking sunglasses off: oh
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Got a job as a barista. First thing my dad said when I told him was "What's a barista? Sounds fake."
🙄😂
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The bad news is, there is no good news.
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Them: Hi, how you are?
Me: do you want an honest answer or an answer that doesnt require you to ask a follow-up question?
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Ladies!! Who👏 cares 👏 if 👏 your 👏 arms 👏 have 👏 bat 👏 wings 👏 fly 👏 away 👏 from 👏 your 👏 problems!
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I want to meet a person whose entire being feels like a Studio Ghibli movie
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Ya know what screw this, when I have my own kitchen I'm not using the top shelves cuz I cant reach em!
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Any good anime recommendations on Crunchyroll or Netflix, my good bagels???
#anime#to anyone#pls let me know i need binge#culture vulture#friends#crunchyroll#netflix#hot guy animes included if you want
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The real reason Kakashi kept his mask on was bc without it, they wouldve called him "hot hatake" instead of "Kakashi the copy ninja".
#naruto#kakashi hakate#senpai#ninja#funny#facts#that one filler that wasnt filler bc every fan needed to see THE FACE
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Him: you're a player
Me: hon, if I was a player, I would've won.
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Friend [insulting me]: hoe
Me: it's pronounced asshole
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Unbirtstone Chart
Things that aren’t rocks for months you weren’t born in!
January: Magnesium Chloride
February: Glass
April: Concrete
May: Graphite
June: Petrified Wood
July: Meth
August: Charcoal Briquettes
September: Uranium
October: Teeth
November: Lithops
December: Fruitcake
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Babysitting my 10 year old cousin and he asks what a milf is. Didn't have the heart to tell him, so I lied and said it was a type of mushroom.
And that's how I got a call from my aunt asking why her son wanted milfs for dinner.
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