smallvoicebigthoughts
Small voice, big thoughts.
Short girl, small town, stupid ideas
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I hate that our bodies when faced with less than a full nights rest will manifest 800 flu symptoms to make us go back to bed
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ideologically i disagree with outside cats but i cannot deny the allure of being able to just meet a little guy anytime anywhere
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Well, this is awkward.
I should be revising for my Psychology AS exam right now. But, once again, I got the better of me.
Anyway…
So I started this blog about this time last year, when I was just finishing my GCSE’s, and I knew what I wanted to do, just not how to go about it. So instead, I’ve turned it into a new… “project”, if you will.
I have started this again, for a place to share my experiences with things like mental illness, a place to give advice and to just share some feelings. Like a big, juicy, gossip-filled sleepover. (Also, notice, my writing hasn’t improved since last year. Neither have my people skills.) But that is what I want to achieve here.
I’ve made a page kind of stating my hopes for this blog here if y’all could check that out that would be cool I guess. I haven’t done much with this, and hopefully soon there will be a lot more meat on this blog’s bones. There will be links to helpful sites and emergency numbers for anyone that needs it.
I’m still in the implementing stage of this little project, and who knows where it’ll go. Hopefully somewhere good. Somewhere I can be proud of.
If you actually read this then thank you. I hope these little chats continue (aw, aren’t we cute?)
*insert some journey and rollercoaster metaphor that will make you like me*
Stay strong guys. See you soon.
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All credit goes to the masterpost…posters. Because they’re great people.
Cheer up and Relax
Sad?
Ugh, Feelings
Calming Noises
Feeling Okay?
Websites for when you want to…
Cute games
Coping Skills and Distractions
A happy things Masterpost
Feeling stressed, sweetie?
Fun Stuff
Hobbies Masterpost
somethingpointy’s Masterpost of Bullshit Time Wasting!!
For when boredom Strikes
Good psychological games masterpost
Learn To Code
Mental Illness
Anxiety Masterpost
Bipolar Disorder Masterpost
Depression Masterpost
Eating Disorder Masterpost
Mental Health Help Masterpost
Panic and Anxiety Information Masterpost
Recovery Resources
Self Harm
Momma’s Alternatives to Self Harm
Ultimate Self-Injury Recovery Masterpost
Coping with thoughts of self harm Masterpost
Films
The Big LGBTQA* Film Masterpost
Studio Ghibli Films Masterpost
Disney Films Masterpost
Animated Movie Masterpost
What do you mean I’m not 10 anymore?
General Self Help
Abercrombier’s 2014 Self Help Masterpost
Help Corgi’s Self Help Masterpost
Helpful Links
Everything
One Big Masterpost
Everything Masterpost
Nicoisbroken’s Master list
Literally Rad’s Resource Masterpost
In Case Of Emergency
Suicide Hotlines
Tumblr’s Counseling and Prevention Resources
Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts
Others
If you’re considering sending anon hate
How to Become an Adult
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In case any of you are feeling not too good...
Here’s a chewy cookie recipe
Here’s a nice fudge recipe
A site full of cuteness!
Who doesn’t like a nice cup of hot chocolate?
1000 awesome things!
Humans aren’t always bad
The world isn’t always bad
Some calm music
Puns
This is a really pretty picture of the sky
Cute puppy buddies
Thoughts room
Dawn room
90 second relaxation
Get disgruntled
Balloon music
Have you ever heard of Christian the lion?
:)
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In case anyone is having a bad night:
Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe I’ve found
Here are some fun sites
Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics
Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli
Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies
*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*
You’ll be okay, friend <3
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fun fact
My mental disorder isn’t my fault. I can’t control it. Stop acting like I can make it stop just because it inconveniences you.
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UK
Depression and Suicide
Rethink Mental Illness: 0300 5000 927 (Mon-Fri, 10am-2pm)
Website: www.rethink.org
Depression Alliance
www.depressionalliance.org
CALM
Website: www.thecalmzone.net
Bipolar UK
Website: www.bipolaruk.org.uk
Samaritans: 08457 90 90 90 (24-hour helpline)
Website: www.samaritans.org.uk
Sane: 0845 767 8000 (daily, 6pm-11pm)
SANE email: [email protected]
Website: www.sane.org.uk
Mind: Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm)
Website: www.mind.org.uk
The Mental Health Foundation
Website: www.mentalhealth.org.uk
YoungMinds: Parents’ helpline 0808 802 5544 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-4pm)
Website: www.youngminds.org.uk
PAPYRUS: 0800 068 4141 (Mon-Fri,10am-5pm & 7pm-10pm. Weekends 2pm-5pm)
Website: www.papyrus-uk.org
Abuse (child, sexual, domestic violence)
NSPCC: 0800 1111 for Childline for children (24-hour helpline)
0808 800 5000 for adults concerned about a child (24-hour helpline)
Website: www.nspcc.org.uk
Refuge: 0808 2000 247 (24-hour helpline)
Website: www.refuge.org.uk
Addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling)
Alcoholics Anonymous: 0845 769 7555 (24-hour helpline)
Website: www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk
Narcotics Anonymous: 0300 999 1212 (daily until midnight)
Website: www.ukna.org
Gamblers Anonymous
Website: www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk
Alzheimer’s
Alzheimer’s Society: 0300 222 1122 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm. Weekends, 10am-4pm)
Website: www.alzheimers.org.uk
Bereavement
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0844 477 9400 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)
Website: www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
Crime victims
Rape Crisis: 0808 802 9999 (daily, 12pm-2.30pm, 7pm-9.30pm)
Website: www.rapecrisis.org.uk
Victim Support: 0845 30 30 900 (Mon-Fri, 9am-8pm. Weekends, 9am-7pm)
Website: www.victimsupport.org
Eating disorders
Beat: 0845 634 1414 (Mon-Thurs, 1.30pm-4.30pm)
Website: www.b-eat.co.uk
Learning disabilities
Mencap: 0808 808 1111 (for information on their services)
Website: www.mencap.org.uk
Obsessions
OCD Action: 0845 390 6232 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-5pm)
Website: www.ocdaction.org.uk
OCD UK: 0845 120 3778 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)
Website: www.ocduk.org
Panic and anxiety
No Panic: 0844 967 4848 (daily, 10am-10pm)
Website: www.nopanic.org.uk
Parenting
Family Lives: 0808 800 2222 (daily, 7am-midnight)
Website: www.familylives.org.uk
Phobias
Anxiety UK: 08444 775 774 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-5.30pm)
Website: www.anxietyuk.org.uk
Relationships
Relate: 0300 100 1234 (for information on their services)
Website: www.relate.org.uk
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Australia
Child Abuse
Child Protection Helpline: 132 111
(TTY 1800 212 936)
to report child abuse and neglect 24 hrs
Domestic Violence Line: 1800 656 463
(TTY 1800 671 442)
24 hours
General support & counselling
Mission Australia Helpline: 1300 886 999
CatholicCare Relationship Counselling: 02 9283 4899
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Relationships Australia: 02 9418 8800 or 1300 364 277
Salvo Care Line: 02 9331 6000
Salvo Crisis Line: 02 9331 2000
suicide prevention 24 hour
adult survivors of child sexual abuse
Sexual abuse is a terrible crime that affects people for a long time. You may have been abused many years ago, but could still be suffering the consequences. Find out how to get help and seek justice.
parenting
Childcare Access Hotline:1800 670 305
NSW Family Services: 02 9692 9999
a peak body that represents over 250 family services in NSW. They will help you find a service in your local area.
Karitane: 02 9794 1852 or 1800 677 96
24 hour parenting information and counselling
Parent Line NSW: 1300 1300 52
Toll free, 24 hour telephone information, counselling and referral service for all NSW parents of children aged 0 – 18 years. Operates 7 days (including public holidays).
Tresillian: 02 9787 0855 or 1800 637 357
24 hour information and counselling for parents or carers of children under five years
domestic violence
Domestic Violence Line: 1800 656 463
(TTY 1800 671 442)
24 hours
Domestic Violence Advocacy Service 02 8745 6900
Rape Crisis Centre: 1800 424 017
24 hours
Women's and Girls' Emergency Centre: 02 9360 5388
Victim’s Services: 1800 633 063
Another Closet - services and Information on violence in gay and lesbian relationships
disaster support
Disaster Welfare Services: 1800 018 444
health/ emergencies
In an emergency or life-threatening situation, call 000 immediately
Children’s Hospital Randwick: 02 9382 1111
Children’s Hospital Westmead: 02 9845 0000
Kidsafe: 02 9845 0890
Poisons Information: 13 11 26
young people
CREATE Foundation: 02 9267 0977 or 1800 655 105 for young people in care
Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800
Legal Aid Helpline: 1800 101 810
for under 18s, 9am to midnight weekdays, 24 hours weekends
20/10 Association: 02 8585 6300
or 1800 652 010
gay and lesbian youth services, 24 hours
Youth Lifeline: 131 114
drugs and alcohol
Alcoholics Anonymous: 02 9799 1199
Family Drug Support: 02 9818 6166 or 1300 368 186
Narcotics Anonymous: 02 9212 3444
homelessness
Aboriginal Homeless People: 02 9799 8446
Homeless Persons Information Service: 02 9265 9081
adoptions
Anglicare: 02 9890 6855
Community Services Adoption and Permanent Care Services: 02 9716 3000
Barnardos Australia Adoptions: 02 9281 5510
CatholicCare Adoption Services: 02 8709 9333
International Social Services: 02 9267 0300
Link Up Family Services (NSW): 02 9837 2200
for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people
Origins Inc: 02 8786 1035
for birth mothers
Parrramatta Holyroyd Adoption Self Help Group: 02 9636 8437
NSW Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages: 1300 655 236
Post Adoption Resource Centre: 02 9365 3444
Salvation Army Post Adoption Service: 02 9211 0277
See support organisations for intercountry adoptions.
foster care - after care
After Care Helpline: 02 9890 3899 or 1800 656 884
Anglicare: 02 9890 6800
Barnardos Australia: 02 9281 7933
Burnside Aftercare Services: 02 9768 6888
Care Leavers of Australia Network (CLAN): 02 9724 1826
support group for people over 25 who were in orphanages, children’s homes or foster care
CatholicCare: 02 8709 9333
Family Tracing Service: 02 9211 0277
(Salvation Army)
Familink International Social Services Australia (ISS): 02 9517 4770
family tracing, reunion support services, including mediation
Link Up Family Services (NSW): 02 9837 2200
or 1800 624 332
for Aboriginal adults who were separated from their families as children through wardship, adoption, fostering or institutional care, as well as Aboriginal families who were separated from their children
Post Adoption Resource Centre (PARC): 02 9365 3444
Wesley Dalmar Child and Family Care – Aftercare Services: 02 9804 7255
financial support
Centrelink - Family and parenting payments: 13 61 50
Child Support Agency Australia: 131 272
help for separated parents over financial support of their children
CreditLine: 1800 808 488
financial advice and referral, 9.30am-4.30pm Mon-Fri
Multilingual information: 13 12 02
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USA
General Crisis Support by Text:
Crisis Text Line Text SUPPORT to 741-741 (24/7)
Specific issues:
Depression & Suicide
The Trevor Project Call 866-488-7386 (24/7) Live Chat with the Trevor Project (Fridays 4:00 PM to 5:00 PM EST)
Dating Abuse & Domestic Violence
loveisrespect Call 1-866-331-9474 (24/7)
Chat Online with loveisrespect (7 days/week, 5:00 PM to 3:00 AM EST) or text loveis to 22522
National Domestic Violence Hotline Call 1-800-799-7233 (24/7) Email the National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7)
RAINN: Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network Call 1-800-656-4673 (24/7) Live Chat with RAINN (24/7)
Child Abuse
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline Call 1-800-422-4453 (24/7)
National Safe Place Text SAFE and your current location to the number 69866 (24/7)
Runaways, Homeless, and At-Risk Youth
National Runaway Safeline Call 1-800-786-2929 (24/7) Live Chat 7 days/week, 4:30 to 11:30 PM CST
Home Free Family reunification program provides free bus tickets to eligible runaway and homeless youth.
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Photo
All credit goes to the masterpost…posters. Because they’re great people.
Cheer up and Relax
Sad?
Ugh, Feelings
Calming Noises
Feeling Okay?
Websites for when you want to…
Cute games
Coping Skills and Distractions
A happy things Masterpost
Feeling stressed, sweetie?
Fun Stuff
Hobbies Masterpost
somethingpointy’s Masterpost of Bullshit Time Wasting!!
For when boredom Strikes
Good psychological games masterpost
Learn To Code
Mental Illness
Anxiety Masterpost
Bipolar Disorder Masterpost
Depression Masterpost
Eating Disorder Masterpost
Mental Health Help Masterpost
Panic and Anxiety Information Masterpost
Recovery Resources
Self Harm
Momma’s Alternatives to Self Harm
Ultimate Self-Injury Recovery Masterpost
Coping with thoughts of self harm Masterpost
Films
The Big LGBTQA* Film Masterpost
Studio Ghibli Films Masterpost
Disney Films Masterpost
Animated Movie Masterpost
What do you mean I’m not 10 anymore?
General Self Help
Abercrombier’s 2014 Self Help Masterpost
Help Corgi’s Self Help Masterpost
Helpful Links
Everything
One Big Masterpost
Everything Masterpost
Nicoisbroken’s Master list
Literally Rad’s Resource Masterpost
In Case Of Emergency
Suicide Hotlines
Tumblr’s Counseling and Prevention Resources
Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts
Others
If you’re considering sending anon hate
How to Become an Adult
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Well, this is awkward.
I should be revising for my Psychology AS exam right now. But, once again, I got the better of me.
Anyway...
So I started this blog about this time last year, when I was just finishing my GCSE’s, and I knew what I wanted to do, just not how to go about it. So instead, I’ve turned it into a new... “project”, if you will.
I have started this again, for a place to share my experiences with things like mental illness, a place to give advice and to just share some feelings. Like a big, juicy, gossip-filled sleepover. (Also, notice, my writing hasn’t improved since last year. Neither have my people skills.) But that is what I want to achieve here.
I’ve made a page kind of stating my hopes for this blog here if y’all could check that out that would be cool I guess. I haven’t done much with this, and hopefully soon there will be a lot more meat on this blog’s bones. There will be links to helpful sites and emergency numbers for anyone that needs it.
I’m still in the implementing stage of this little project, and who knows where it’ll go. Hopefully somewhere good. Somewhere I can be proud of.
If you actually read this then thank you. I hope these little chats continue (aw, aren’t we cute?)
*insert some journey and rollercoaster metaphor that will make you like me*
Stay strong guys. See you soon.
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I recently started a new journal!
The first notebook in the pictures was started in August 2012 and was finished July 2014. That journal was the place where I would go if I was down or needed to vent, or anything like that. For most of 2013 I wasn't happy, and was in need of a place to go that helped, and as much as my friends helped, that journal was my safe haven.
So finishing it was a strange experience, because it was almost like those last two years of high school, where all the bad stuff happened, were over. I could move on.
So I did.
On the 2nd of July 2014, the second (red) notebook was written in for the first time. And it felt good. Really good. I started fresh, and let's hope the duration of this one goes more happily than the last!
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Which Way is 'Write'?
Writing is a strange thing for me.
It probably is to everyone, we just tend not to think about it until the luxury of it has disappeared.
Since I was really young I would come up with stories in my head of characters and tales and ways I could weave myself into the stories, but I never thought about trying to document them until I began to get into reading.
I was literate from a relatively young age. My mother's strong point has always been English and grammar so, as she was my primary caregiver, I ultimately acquired a strength in this area. (I fear that if my dad had been the one to look after me I'd have developed an affinity for maths and calculations. What a horrifying thought.) and I did not struggle at all in school at basic literacy skills.
So when I really got into reading, it was like I'd found a way to document these stories I'd always thought about. The stories I read were so clever, and so vivid that I could see them moving and changing and developing in my own brain. It was a breakthrough. So I wanted to do the same.
I really remember actually getting into writing maybe three to four years ago. I'd joined an online writing website where people shared their own original stories, and by reading the works of others, I wanted to follow their lead.
It felt like every single second was spent thinking about the stories I'd imagined. If something happened to me, it happened to them too, and I used these to develop them in my mind as people. They became real people, and I felt their pain as clearly as I felt my own.
And then I discovered Tumblr, and fanatic domains such as the Sherlockians and the Phandom. With this came the discovery of fanfiction. I'd known what it was before, but it wasn't really the same. I started using these characters and internet celebrities as props to carry out my own ideas. It wasn't even that I enjoyed the idea of creating a relationship between the two people, it was that I could use them to carry out the story ideas I'd always had. They were mere disposable characters, just names I used as a platform for my ideas.
And because of this, people read them! I got notes and likes, and messages of people telling me they loved what I'd written, and to keep doing it. And it was the best feeling, getting credit and praise for something I really loved is a feeling that can't be beaten.
And then, as mentioned before, I did hit a "dry spell" recently that lasted far too long. I became lazy, and unmotivated, and lost interest in what I'd so loved. I hated it. It wasn't who I wanted to be.
But hopefully now, this is starting to change.
That's what I'm wishing for, anyway.
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III'vvee Had the Time of My-
It just sort of just "hit me" as I usually put it, that I have approximately eight days left of my formal Secondary Education.
All I can say is... What?
I've been completing my final exams for a couple of weeks now, and have four left which are next week. (In England in Year 11 we do GCSEs which is the General Certificate of Secondary Education and are the first qualifications you can achieve. I've been working towards these for two years.) And this is somewhat astounding to me.
The fact that not even a month ago I was fantasizing about how it would feel on the last day of my exams and how relieved and happy I would be. And not less than a year ago it felt like these final days would never come.
And now I don't know if I want them to.
I mean, don't get me wrong I'm happy to be done with certain subjects (Science and History can kiss my ass right about now) and it's going to be a relief to not have to cram and revise anymore, and just be able to wait and see what fate brings on results day. But... at the same time, I've been dreading this since the beginning.
I've been dreading leaving.
And I know I don't have to leave my school (most high schools have 'sixth forms' which is the added two years above where you can study to get more qualifications called A Levels). But it's not about the leaving where I've been for the past four years, and nor is it fully about the people I'm leaving behind. It's about leaving behind the things that have made me who I am.
That sounds so pretentious and stupid and I'm so young and all the adults I know would be rolling their eyes so far up they'd reach Antarctica right now, but it's true.
The past four years with the people I love most in the world have more made me than the rest of the years in my life put together, especially these last two. Because I've come so far. Really.
So... this is kind of terrifying for me. I have eight days. Eight days? All of my high school life has amounted to these final days and I have to squeeze in as much memory-making and laughs as I can because when I tell people about my time as a teenager, I want to be able to tell them I liked high school. I want to be able to say I had a great time with my friends and I want to remember being happy in our last days as a unit.
I'll try my ever-living hardest to stay in touch with my friends, and I know that it's a bloody hard thing to do, and that it most of the time doesn't work, but I also believe that if I honestly want it to, it can.
I would not be who I am today (Hell, I might not even be here today) if it weren't for those people. And I'm not afraid of losing touch, because I'm going to try.
I think I'm just afraid of them leaving me behind.
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