silvanoir - Tumblr blog

silvanoir · 2 days

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Y'know... I wonder....

Would myself from a decade ago that wanted to talk to this guy, but not sure if I wanted to get involved in all that (not sure what was going on with him at the time, but seemed to be a lot)

Be impressed that I finally talked to him/befriended him?

Or shake my head disapprovingly at current me at GETTING INVOLVED IN ALL THAT ( now KNOWING what all that IS )

*sigh* Ah well, at the time of me posting this (11-ish on Monday night, April 22 2024) he will be coming over tomorrow after work to help me finish wedding/mulching the garden in my front yard and I will continue to try to keep him from self-destructing!

#personal #work friend

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silvanoir · 2 days

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silvanoir · 2 days

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The Situation

Off to MRI #2 in a few minutes, this time on my neck. I hope they find the source of the pain in my head/body, because its been getting worse.

Also, the other "SITUATION" has gotten worse (I said I'd post about it when it resolved, it hasn't resolved, but it's getting to a breaking point. literally)

I've told you before that Work Friend is in a really rotten living setup. but after getting sober (mismanaging things when he was drinking, plus a bad case of multiple someones using his cards putting him in debt) all he can really afford is this horrible dark basement apartment.... no not even that, it's a lumpy couch with a tiny kitchen and a bathroom where the hot water doesn't really work most of the time. And so, so many spiders.

And the landlady from hell. A pill addict that screams and stomps around and occasionally bursts in and takes or breaks his stuff. Including HIS medications (I bought him a little safe to keep them in). In February she was particularly high and drunk and stomped down and screamed at him, tried to break his keyboards (he used to play bass in metal and punk bands but he's trying to get away from that because that scene has alcohol ... he can't play in bars and dark clubs anymore... ) and he was practicing his music with headphone so he didn't bother anyone (and of that he was teaching himself oldies and church music). Not good enough! She also took a bottle of gingerale, poured it all over his bible and other stuff and ridiculed him for being sober now.

That tipped him right into being suicidal. It was bad. I (and his therapist) helped get him through it but it was BAD.

He also named me his official new sponsor (aka the person he talks to to make sure he STAYS sober) because the one he had wasn't working out.... he didn't ask me if I was ok with this, but I wasn't going to refuse either. It seems like I might be one of the few people on the planet who actually cares about his wellbeing.

It's all backwards! He's trying to be good now and those around him are treating him like a criminal or something! When they are the crazy/violent/drunk/high ones!

He already has PTSD because of multiple awful things that happened to him in his past (can't type up any of that) and anxiety, how can he heal in an environment like that? The reason why his drinking got so bad, bad enough it nearly killed him a few years ago, was the stress of everything.

He came to work today with a bloody nose because the landlady's daughter clocked him with his phone (the phone I gave him after his flip phone died... the phone he has now was one of my dads old phones that we call the brick phone because it is a 4g pay-as-you-go cellphone that is the size shape and weight of a small brick.... but its an old style that still has buttons, which he likes).

I knew! I knew things would go from emotionally abusive to physically abusive! Breaking his things to breaking him! (Landlady's husband has also broken most of his tools... makes it hard for him to do his side-gig as a handyman).

I tried to warn him but he said it wasn't bad as all that when I did.... well it's as bad as all that. Of course, he's strong and over 6 ft tall and could easily pulverize them both, but he's a middle-aged man and they are women and an old man and if the cops show up he's the one who'll be hauled off to jail.

Me and other coworkers are trying to figure out a way to get him out of there. It's tough because he lives week-to-week and has ruined credit.... where else is he going to rent....

if i didn't have my elderly dad with me I'd give him my guestroom.

#personal #work friend

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silvanoir · 4 days

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#about me #no sense of direction #swearing

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silvanoir · 5 days

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Romantasy is one of my favorite genres.... the main character (usually female, just like in the comic strip and how I prefer my book heroes) will fall in love but saving the kingdom/land/whatever is FIRST!

Dystopiano music is rad too.... not solely piano, more rock I think ,but I have a whole collection of end-of-the-world songs by various artists

My latest @guardian books cartoon.

#music #books

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silvanoir · 6 days

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3-way-tie between Kenya, I Am Le Tired, and Peanut Butter Jelly for me. Charrrrrlie second.

#internets #the 2000s

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silvanoir · 7 days

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#starfire #art by other people #hmm i kinda wanna mod a doll to look like this hairstyle and all

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silvanoir · 9 days

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online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

#internets #friendship

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silvanoir · 12 days

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When water is labelled Vegan is what always gets me.... I would hope my plain or fruit-flavored water contains no meat!

obviously im of the belief that labelling food abd the ingredients it contains as clearly as possible is really good practice, and i highly approve of it

but the specific sense of comedy thats invoked in you when you look at a dish that is almost entirely a certain ingredient and theres a little sign next to it that reads “THIS ITEM CONTAINS [INGREDIENT]” is something that cannot be ignored

#food #silly

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silvanoir · 13 days

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