silence-disambiguation
Silence (Disambiguation)
I guess I make these now?Don’t expect regular posts. I’m still here, just not inspired.
23 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
anapaulamedok
Ana Paula
happiness-isforthe-taking
Untitled
jaybay236
Jaybay236
onmywaytohogwartsrn
Until The Very End
weathernation
WeatherNation
Text
i made a little quiz. it has gentle wisdom to take with you. whatever i can give you is yours. love u. take the wisdom & run.
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying
2M notes
·
View notes
Text
Small town names in Newfoundland:
Dildo (I wish I was joking)
Small town names on the east coast:
Worchesshire
Little Meadow Vole Flower Acre
Manchester
Penscoblotten
Another Manchester
Rumbleydover
Watersberrygettyville
A third, more powerful Manchester
Small town names in the southwest/pacific:
Goldentooth
Bunt
Dead Horse Pitts
Cavity
Bourbon
Nombre de pueblo normal en español
Devil’s Anus
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.
not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.
you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.
but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.
you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.
but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you "that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.
you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.
you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?
you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.
you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!
you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
And what of it
i would. maybe like to be held. squished a bit. i'd make a great stress toy
28K notes
·
View notes
Text
i had a dream last night that i had been born the right way,
that i had no trouble listening and made friends easily and
straightened my hair and dated only ben from highschool
until i got married to him. that our ring was gold
even though silver is my color and i don't support diamonds
i had a dream that i hadn't ever been ugly or weird, that
we'd had enough money to actually afford the clothes
everyone was wearing and in eighth grade i actually
twisted my ankle in ugg boots. that all my memories
were now diagonally drawn across the river
i should have been raised from -
we walked down boston in the chill and i kept talking about how
lucky i was to have a wonderful husband and how my father's love
poured over our relationship in evergreen gin - i swear sometimes
i think he prefers ben - and all the girls that bullied me were now
my beautiful friends with husbands and lives of their own,
spun out in gold and rhinestones
i had a dream that i hadn't been made wrong, that god had
treated me gently, that the hole that opened in me hadn't
seeped into everything, staining all of my fingers in chaos and
lightning. i had a dream i didn't know secrets about sharp things
or how deep the hole goes or how hard someone can hit
rock bottom, the snap of the bone.
i had a dream i kept twisting the ring and turning to
my oldest friend, who was frowning. barely looking at me.
i had a dream i got straight a's and went to a different college
but it meant we lost touch after it. she wasn't the same here - strange, unloving, chilly. something is wrong, i kept saying.
we were just out for boba tea. my hair was long and pretty and
i'd never dyed it enough to turn it frizzy. something is wrong and i think it's with me.
in this world, i still went to church. in this world, i had never been
abandoned. in this world, i had never disappointed my parents. in this world, neither she nor i ever kissed girls and meant it. she hadn't met her wife. in this world, nothing ever needed fixing. i didn't ruin things
compulsively.
is it worth it? she said, watching me. is it worth it,
everything that's missing?
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Saw a picture of an anime girl with a huge burger. Nature is healing.
Since this account is pretty new and I’m not following many people or tags, tumblr doesn’t seem to know what to show in my “for you” tab. It gets pretty weird.
At first I was blocking a bunch of Christian bloggers (why are they here of all websites??) just so their weird posts would stop appearing.
More recently I’ve been blocking what appears to be… British royal family fan blogs??? That just post pictures of members of the royal family??? I struggle to believe these accounts are run by real human beings.
Just now I got hit out of nowhere with some truly vile TERF bullshit. Why. What did I click on to deserve this.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Blocked the blogs AND the tags, so hopefully THAT’S over. I think I need a snack now.
Since this account is pretty new and I’m not following many people or tags, tumblr doesn’t seem to know what to show in my “for you” tab. It gets pretty weird.
At first I was blocking a bunch of Christian bloggers (why are they here of all websites??) just so their weird posts would stop appearing.
More recently I’ve been blocking what appears to be… British royal family fan blogs??? That just post pictures of members of the royal family??? I struggle to believe these accounts are run by real human beings.
Just now I got hit out of nowhere with some truly vile TERF bullshit. Why. What did I click on to deserve this.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
…fucking thinspo???
Since this account is pretty new and I’m not following many people or tags, tumblr doesn’t seem to know what to show in my “for you” tab. It gets pretty weird.
At first I was blocking a bunch of Christian bloggers (why are they here of all websites??) just so their weird posts would stop appearing.
More recently I’ve been blocking what appears to be… British royal family fan blogs??? That just post pictures of members of the royal family??? I struggle to believe these accounts are run by real human beings.
Just now I got hit out of nowhere with some truly vile TERF bullshit. Why. What did I click on to deserve this.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I kept getting a bunch of posts from some conspiracy guy who seems absolutely convinced that Justin Trudeau is a communist. Also claims that masks don’t prevent Covid from spreading. Didn’t keep scrolling to find out what other nonsense they believe.
Since this account is pretty new and I’m not following many people or tags, tumblr doesn’t seem to know what to show in my “for you” tab. It gets pretty weird.
At first I was blocking a bunch of Christian bloggers (why are they here of all websites??) just so their weird posts would stop appearing.
More recently I’ve been blocking what appears to be… British royal family fan blogs??? That just post pictures of members of the royal family??? I struggle to believe these accounts are run by real human beings.
Just now I got hit out of nowhere with some truly vile TERF bullshit. Why. What did I click on to deserve this.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Maybe I should make something about bees
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
And there was just, so much of it, totally uninterrupted. The other weird things, it’s be at most 2 or 3 weird posts in a row. That was like. Fuck. Probably something more like 10.
Since this account is pretty new and I’m not following many people or tags, tumblr doesn’t seem to know what to show in my “for you” tab. It gets pretty weird.
At first I was blocking a bunch of Christian bloggers (why are they here of all websites??) just so their weird posts would stop appearing.
More recently I’ve been blocking what appears to be… British royal family fan blogs??? That just post pictures of members of the royal family??? I struggle to believe these accounts are run by real human beings.
Just now I got hit out of nowhere with some truly vile TERF bullshit. Why. What did I click on to deserve this.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Since this account is pretty new and I’m not following many people or tags, tumblr doesn’t seem to know what to show in my “for you” tab. It gets pretty weird.
At first I was blocking a bunch of Christian bloggers (why are they here of all websites??) just so their weird posts would stop appearing.
More recently I’ve been blocking what appears to be… British royal family fan blogs??? That just post pictures of members of the royal family??? I struggle to believe these accounts are run by real human beings.
Just now I got hit out of nowhere with some truly vile TERF bullshit. Why. What did I click on to deserve this.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
My favourite response to my poem is from the person (who tumblr won’t allow me to tag) describing how due to a bad connection, only the second image was loading, and they were “forced to participate in the most ironic way”
They were not only right when they said that that was a poem in and of itself, I would say that it was the same poem I wrote in a different form. It’s even more ironic than they realize because the page they read didn’t have either of the “dead air” screenshots.
The person who could only see 1 of the 7 pages ended up understanding it at least as well, and probably better, than those who were able to read the whole thing.
0 notes
Text
Hnk. It’s been ten days since I posted that, I’d nearly forgotten I’d tagged headspace-hotel in it. Was surprised to see it on my dash.
1 note
·
View note