It's a difficult question to answer since we don't feel like we need anyone to be there for us. We kinda just do our own thing. All you can really do is be a constant in his life and understand that his condition is persistent. He didn't ask to be the way he is, if he is indeed Schizoid. It's simply just a different way of being. Don't treat it like something is wrong with him because we don't feel like anything is wrong with us. Treat him like he is normal. This is the best way to approach a Schizoid. They will come to you if and when they feel they should. He needs his space and privacy. That, above all things, is the most important to us.

Schizoid loved ones?

I don’t have SPD, but there’s a chance a person I care about does. I’ve seen guides on having loved ones with other disorders online, but there doesn’t seem to be much on this one. I would be very grateful if there’s anything y'all could tell me on how I can best be there for someone with SPD and/or anything on being in a relationship with them.

Btw-I know the obvious answer is just to ask him, but he’s struggled to give answers when I’ve asked these questions before, so this is why I’m hoping for some advice from others :/

Thanks in advance.

Found here

Schizoids don't ask to be who they are. They just are. Like sexuality, or the fact one is a man or a woman, or similar to any other disorder of the mind, it is a condition. Simply put, it is a way of being. We shouldn't feel guilty just for being, which is outside our ability to change. Rather, we should be judged on what we can control, that being, the actions we take, which involve and affect those surrounding us.

I think all Schizoids are a bit deviant. I think we crave passion and excitement, which we seem to lack in our lives. I think it just comes with our condition, with the nature of what we are.

Schizoid and sexual deviant

I can’t say that I don’t enjoy the idea of sex but I only enjoy it if they are taboo/extreme fantasies, forbidden things and role-play, otherwise I’m not interest in sex at all. I’m usually emotionally dead so having a romantic relationship is impossible. I enjoy the idea of sex with strangers so I don’t have to get emotionally involved with them. I wish I could enjoy normal sex and have a romantic partner, I’m still young (22) and I don’t want to die alone even though I’m sure no one would want to a date a sexual deviant like me… I’m not sure if I want it either, I just don’t want to die alone.

These books can help.

I don't think we're ever really ready to face things that scare or intimidate us. The best we can do is tackle them headon. Stay strong. You've got this.

After three years of semi isolation, I am finally going back to school this Tuesday. And I don't know if I'm ready.

At the age of 18, I dropped out of college for many reasons, one being that I felt very uncomfortable around other people and the sheer number of fellow students overwhelmed me. It was as if life wanted to show me how broken of a person I am by shoving thousands of normal teens and young adults my way. But anyway. I always wanted to go back to school since I love the structure and the predictability of it, and my first day is two days away. For some reason, it took me an email from one of my professors to remind me that I’m going back to seeing thousands of people on a daily basis, showing off their ability to be normal human beings while I’ll be the awkward alien in the back of the class. Again. Having social anxiety sure won’t make it any easier. I don’t know if I’m ready.

Sorry I wanted to vent a little.

These books can help.

Can Schizoids only love other Schizoids?

I mean it makes sense, right? We lack connection, with ourselves, the world, and the people in it. We see ourselves as someone on the outside, watching life like one would watch a movie: it just plays from one scene to the next and all we can do is merely observe. We cannot participate. We do not have that luxury. So we are left out. People, those who aren't us, don't understand us. And how can they? How can you understand what you've never been or experienced? And how can we love, and I mean TRULY love, these people, form a connection with them, when that obstacle is always there? Are we doomed then? Never to know what love is? Never to be truly happy? Never to attain some semblance of normality out of all the confusion of this world? Perhaps not my fellow Schizoids. I don't think we are a lost cause. We are broken, yes, but we are not beyond repair. We still have humanity. We can still love. And I believe the answer lies in our correspondence with each other. I believe two Schizoids can love each other. To struggle together, just to be normal. To face the world together, which does not understand them and which they feel like they don't belong. An overwhelming world that at times seems dull and colorless, with no meaning or point to it all. To tell the other they aren't monsters, even if they feel empty and disconnected. To say "it's okay to feel like you love nothing and no one, not even me, not even yourself. It's not your fault. You're not an asshole. It's okay. You're just troubled." Yes, I think two Schizoids can do that for each other. After all, who understands us but, well...us?

Perhaps Schizoids can only find meaningful connection with other Schizoids. After all, who else understands us?

Experience with dating / romantic relationships?

Not sure what kind of responses I’ll get but thought I’d try anyway - is it possible for a schizoid to form a meaningful, romantic relationship with someone, knowing full well their traits of detachment, indifference, and lack of desire?

I had a few chances the last couple of weeks to act on possible dating opportunities (through socials and online dating), and I’ve come to the conclusion that I look at members of the opposite sex as indifferently as I do with everyone else. I find one or two interesting things about the other person to initiate conversation and to keep in touch for a few days after, but the interactions get monotonous as I have no desire to deepen the relationship. This is made more awkward as the other person makes repeated attempts to connect, and I can’t reciprocate honestly.

I enjoy my alone time (I’m perfectly fine spending weeknights and weekends completely by myself), but I do find the few social interactions I have to be beneficial as well. Talking to people and sharing things with them helps me remain level-headed and not stuck up in my own head all the time.

Being semi-active socially and finding some benefit from it, I thought I would try dating as well… but the expectations of dating are very different. Just wondering if it’s possible for a schizoid to want to get involved with someone romantically and if so, how does a schizoid sustain that relationship?

These books can help.

Schizoid Personality Disorder Checklist

This is a checklist to help one understand Schizoid Personality Disorder. One may use it to self-diagnose or as a worksheet to present to a doctor or therapist  or other medical professional and better communicate symptoms they are experiencing. All information is taken from the DSM-5.

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty perceiving myself, other people, and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section II Must check FOUR or more of the following:

I don’t enjoy close relationships at all, including being part of a family.

I prefer solitary activities which don’t involve communicating with others.

I have little or no interest in having intimate experiences with another person. (OP’s note: The DSM actually says “sexual” experiences, but I feel this excludes asexual people and attempts to pathologize asexuality, so I change the wording to “intimate” to include closeness in any kind of relationship.)

I don’t enjoy a lot of activities, and it’s difficult for me to be interested in anything.

I have no close friends or confidants other than maybe first-degree relatives.

I am pretty much indifferently to both praise and criticism from others.

I am emotionally cold and incredibly detached.

Section III Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

My symptoms are not better explained by schizophrenia, an episode caused by bipolar disorder, or autism spectrum disorder.

Section IV Common symptoms ad behaviors (not required for diagnosis):

I am not a very expressive person at all.

I am the ultimate introvert, in that I do not like spending time with other people at all most of the time.

I feel I am less sensitive in my five senses as well.

My feelings are not easily hurt.

I have difficulty relating to others and understanding them.

I don’t pick up well on social cues.

I’m never sure how to react in social situations, and I find myself sticking to simple movements (such as smiling and nodding).

I rarely express my feelings to others.

I find social situations incredibly distressing.

I have difficulty expressing anger, even when someone is confronting me directly.

I have difficulty setting goals for myself, and I feel like I drift through life.

I can usually work very diligently on a task if I am left alone to my own devices and do not have to work on a team.

I experience psychotic episodes.

I am often depressed and/or anxious.

I am far more passive than assertive.

__ / 15

If you did not the minimum requirement for diagnosis, other disorders to look into include other disorders on the schizophrenia spectrum, anxiety disorders (especially Social Anxiety Disorder), Autism Spectrum Disorder, and depressive disorders. If you met the criteria for Sections I and III, you may want to look into other personality disorders.

I'm 100% on all of this, other than #7 Maybe we aren't like everyone else, but that doesn't mean we don't have any self-worth. We shouldn't let people manipulate or use us just because we aren't like them. We matter. And we should always fight for a better life, even if we're stuck with this disorder. We shouldn't give up. We're better than that.

10 Advantages of being a Schizoid

“1) Save money. Schizoids can survive with little money because of few needs. Not having a partner means you don’t have to go out to dinner or buy expensive gifts.

2) Enjoy your hobbies when you want. Schizoids usually prefer solitary activities such as reading, writing, drawing, using computers etc. No need to worry about team mates for an activity.

3) Not being in constant need of having people around means less chance of getting lonely.

4) Low risk of sexually transmitted illnesses.

5) Help in the fight against overpopulation.

6) Poor social skills or other annoying/toxic personality traits will not negatively effect others.

7) Low ambition allows us to be useful dupes/stepping stones for people who actually enjoy life and are driven to get ahead.

8) Schizoids often learn on their own, independently.

9) Spends more time indoors, so less chance of sun burn/ skin cancer.

10) Detachment allows the schizoid to distance himself from the people and to have clear mind and heart, free of the prejudice and clichés among which mass society moves.”

You're Not An Asshole

To my fellow schizoids: 1. You're not an asshole. You're just troubled. 2. You're only human. You have your limits and can only do and handle what you can. 3. Stay strong. I support you.

I fit the criteria for SPD. I can relate 100%. I'm not close to anyone, not my friends or my family. No one is special to me. It doesn't mean I don't care about them. That I won't help them when they need it. I just don't feel love or the closeness they seem to have with me. But honestly, I wish I could. I wish I had that ability, but I simply don't. There are days when I don't care about anyone or anything. Not even myself. There are days when I want people to leave me alone and days when I feel lonely and lost, even around people I know. And then, when they do things without me, I feel hurt and left out, even though it's exactly what I wanted. But there are also days where I want to be close to them. To love and be happy. I don't actively seek it, but I do want it. I suppose that's the duality of the Schizoid. Maybe I'm a certain type. I don't know. But I feel you. From one Schizoid to another, I know exactly what you're going through. You're strong. You'll make it.

Can anyone relate?

Hello. I want to share my story and see if any of you ever experienced something like that. First of all I am the typical lonely weird guy (still a teenager (studying at university)). At times I am very depressed and the other time just sad and disconnected. My parents allways tell me I am good at spatial thinking and rational thinking. I think my skills are in programming. My favorite music genre is Techno and Classical music (I hate “radio music”) and I also have a active imagination (usualy I spend ~30% of my day daydreaming). Other then that I guess I am pretty useless. I have very few social skills. Usually I try to avoid situations where I have to talk to new people or share my emotions. I tend to keep the topics shallow by joking arround a lot (and the people like it).

A while back I discovered spd online. I am not diagnosed or anything but I guess I fit the “profile”.

I have three friends who I can be arround and not be stressed out. These are (besides close family members) the people I care about. I do not feel very connected to my family (do not get me wrong my parents are very loving and supportive).

The thing I wanted to talk about is something I have experienced for many years now. I feel like there are two “sides” of me (emotionally). 1. On one hand I am have no connection to my emotions at all. I do not care what people think about me and I am just doing my thing in dimension C-137 until eventually I die (I know I sound like a teenager going trough his emo phase :D). I do not long for human contact (friends to talk to, girlfriend, sex, …). 2. The other “side” of me is the exact opposite. I feel very depressed (thought about suicide). I want a girlfriend and be close to someone.

I think the best example would be the fact that if I get invited by my friends I 95% of the time decline and stay at home. If I do go I usualy hate it and if it is a party I typicly get very drunk to feel more comfortable which leads to memory loss and embarasing stories. If I stay at home I hate myself for not going. The worst part is that if I am not getting invited (because I apparently do not show up anyway) I feel hurt and spend evenings starring at walls (I guess I am still insecure in that regard).

So my question is if any of you feel like that or can relate. Disclaimer: I know that my personality is still developing but I feel this way since I was about 10 years old. Also I want to apologize for possible misspellings and bad sentence structure.

These books can help.

The Schizoid and U

Schizoid Personality Disorder (SPD): 1. Depersonalization: You may have trouble relating to yourself and the people around you. You feel what everyone else does, just not as often. You're detached and distant, and life feels distant, like you're watching things from the sidelines, an observer, rather than a participant. Life lacks flavor, richness, and meaning. Secretly, you may crave intimacy, but likewise, people are confusing and suffocating. Warmth and friendship is therapeutic, but you also need your space. You're a complicated creature. And that's ok. But naturally, questions begin to surface: what's wrong with me? Am I going crazy? Am I a monster? Nah, not even. You've just been through a lot, practically hell and back. You've stuck it out the best you could and you walked away, just not without its scars, scrapes and scratches. But chin up. Your bruises are your badges, your metals, and your emblems. So wear them proud soldier. We salute you! 2. Derealization: Reality may seem a little fuzzy, like a dream of sorts. You lift the curtain time and time again, just to see if things are the way they really are, and not just an illusion. Deep down, you know it's all real, that you're friends and your family are real, that you're real. It just doesn't feel that way sometimes. You may find yourself day dreaming, or falling down the rabbit hole to a wonderland of your own creation. You don't hallucinate: you don't see or hear things that aren't there. Sometimes, Life is just too ugly, but your mind is beautiful and your imagination, rich. But you may disagree. You may think you're losing your mind. You may think you're crazy. And hey, maybe you are. But that's ok. Why? Because I'll let you in on a little secret: all the best people are. We're all mad here! And you'll fit right in. 3. Hypersensitivity: Small things get to you. What may seem like no big deal to anyone else is otherwise a nightmare for you. Maybe you overthink everything. Maybe you shouldn't. But you'll do it anyway. But instead of overthinking anything and everything, maybe you should think over yourself. Your needs. Your desires. Your wishes and dreams. You may feel selfish, being so disconnected from the world and the people in it. But you didn't ask for what you were given. You struggle with it the best you can, day in and day out. You deserve what everyone else does. That's not selfish. And that's not something to overthink. Just let it be. Final Verdict: You're not so bad. Who knows when it all became so damn complicated? But what's done is done. Who we are is who we are. All we can do is be the best we can, to those we love and who love us in turn. It's ok to be Schizoid. It's not easy, but no one said it would be. You're still human. And there is still good inside of you. You aren't crazy. You aren't a monster. And even if you are, even monsters can be good. After all, it isn't who you are that matters, but what you do. Love yourself, because chances are, you're a troubled, but beautiful person. You might struggle to love, to care, or to just be normal. You try so hard. And that's why you deserve so much. Because you have so much to give. You're wonderful. Deal with it.