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sandydgonzalez · 1 month
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I feel like you have loved her so much and with such passion that you will never be able to love me like that, that all the plans we make, all the conversations we have, everything that we accomplish is just a crumb of what you had with her and you will always have her present.
Taunting you, making you feel like I am a diluted version of her, of what you had, tormenting you, making you realize that I will never be her, that new memories will be made but she will always be in the back of your mind and heart.
And I can’t blame you or her because that is what love is about, that is the type of love I am looking for, unforgettable, passionate, something that makes me crave their presence, I wish you could feel that way about me.
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sandydgonzalez · 1 month
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Why do I feel like I am always chasing you?
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sandydgonzalez · 3 months
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The year is about to end, and I am right here, staring to my ceiling, thinking about how much I want to be by your side, I want you to think about me and love you like I do.
Tears are falling down my face because I know my chances are almost nonexistent, because I cannot stop thinking about your beautiful eyes, your lovely freckles and the sound of your voice calling my name, because even if I try to love someone else I know the idea of you will be present on each step.
I crave the stories you tell me, your presence, your perfume, your warmth, I crave you, I can’t get enough, I would give up anything for you to feel the way that I do.
Is it a matter of time and patience? Or is it something I hace to accept?
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sandydgonzalez · 5 months
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I want you to love me, but not the way you loved her, and I want to love you, but not the way she loved you.
I want us to be a team, to love each other through thick and thin, to make you laugh when you are happy and to be your comforting shoulder where you can cry on.
I want to remember everything about you, what you love, what you dislike, your favorite songs, your favorite places, the important dates and what you felt the first time we kissed.
I wish for you to love me back, I wish for us to make it through this, for you to realize that I am here for you, for you to know how much I love you and for you to love me back.
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sandydgonzalez · 5 months
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do you ever hangout with someone for hours and hours and hours, but still miss them the second they leave??? because same
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sandydgonzalez · 6 months
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What would I give to feel your hands on my face, to feel your lips on my forehead, to feel how your arms surround me like a fortress, like you are guarding my heart, my soul, just by putting yout arms around me.
What would I give to know if you feel the same way that I do, to know if you want me to stroke your hair, or to hold your hand to walk you through all your dreams and hopes, to know if throughout your day I ever cross your mind.
Please tell me, tell me if you want me, if it is possible for you to adore me, if I stand a chance of winning your heart, or if by confessing my feelings I will lose you, because you started as a friend, but now I see you in another light and I don’t want to hurt you or hurt me in the process of loving you.
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sandydgonzalez · 7 months
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If you are aware of my love for you I just want to ask you to love me in return
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sandydgonzalez · 9 months
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I feel as a secondary character in my own life, watching everybody fall in love, achieve their dreams, going to adventures, feeling, crying, laughing, swearing, doing everything I feel I am unable to do.
Sometimes I forget about this, when I am sitting on a bench, having a smoke, seeing the light that passes through the trees touching my skin; feeling everything that surrounds me as mine.
And sometimes it feels unbearable, when I am speaking with you, and how you speak about the girl you love, how yo have travelled the world, how you are feeling amazing now, I feel like I am just watching from afar, even when I am centimeters away from you.
I get that feeling as well, when I want to reach out to you, when I want to touch your skin, feel the warm of your skin, that beautiful cinnamon skin with those freckles and those long eyelashes, and when I realize I am a side character to you, I will never be your focus, your love, your one and only, I will simply never mean to you what you mean to me, even when you tell me that you love me and I say it back, I know we don’t mean it the same way.
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sandydgonzalez · 2 years
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Guess at the end I am just as selfish as everybody
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sandydgonzalez · 2 years
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Being in love is gut wrenching, it makes you selfish, makes you wanna have that persons attention, you want them to notice that you are dying to touch them even if it is just a slight and minimum touch of hands, you want them to know how much you adore them and how much you want them to be happy.
And it is beautiful at times, when you get to appreciate the laugh that you’ve cause them, when they look at you directly in the eyes and with a secret language they are telling you something without saying a word and it is specially beautiful when they leve you back because when they don’t all this beautiful emotions just turn into a heavy pile of anger and sadness.
I’ve been in love with somebody that is in love with somebody else and oh how I wish those feelings could be directed towards me, all those kisses, all the laughter, all the secrets that they keep where I am just there, watching them in silence, pretending that I am happy for both of them, because I love them, and there is this feeling of betrayal because both are my friends, both of them know me well and they are in love; and even with all our history and friendship I still wish that I could have met you sooner, in other circumstances where you are willing to love me and where we could all remain friends.
But I have to keep my distance, I have to watch you fall in love over and over again with her, and smile, and laugh and even let you know how happy I am that you are together because I will never let myself hurt you.
So please, don’t take it personal if I try to keep my distance, understand why I take a step back every time you try to touch my arms, be aware that I am dying to give you a kiss and as I cannot do it I will just give you a tight hug and please abstain from doing those things that make me fall harder for you every time we see each other.
S.G.
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sandydgonzalez · 2 years
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I feel like I will never be good enough, or at least not the one that you’d choose as something special.
I will never be the smart and beautiful sister, I will never be the funny cousin, I could never pass as the amazing best friend, no one would ever describe me as the most talented in anything I ever do.
To me is stupid to feel this way, and I am so jealous of the people that are enough, I wish so hard to be like them, I want to be considered, I want to come to their minds when they are describing a kind person, I want to be the one they speak about when someone asks who has been a good friend to them, hell I want someone to think of me greatly but it seem like they all have a plain idea of me.
I want to be more than my fears and my failures, I want to feel happy with who I am and mostly I wish I could stop crying every time something good happens to the ones I love, because at first I feel incredible and so proud of them, but then an overwhelming feeling of sadness and jealousy that I hate takes over me, it starts telling me that I could never be like them, that I could never achieve what they have and that they will never feel as proud of me as I am of them.
And I hate me for doing that, for making it about myself, for thinking about me when I should think about them and how happy I am that they achieved their goal, I feel like a burden.
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sandydgonzalez · 2 years
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Everybody tells you that living is incredible, I used to feel that way, but I cannot longer do that.
There is this feeling when you start growing up, you feel overwhelmed by all the new responsibilities, expectations that come with the start of the adulthood, that transition really really sucks.
When you don’t have any idea of who you are, where you are going or what you want to do with your life, living does not feels incredible, it is like having an incredibly heavy weight on the shoulders, you are always trying something to be happy, something that brings you joy, something that help you figure out what is going on.
But it is hard, and it is even harder when people that you love detract you, they think that you are being annoying, that you just want attention or that you are putting up excuses to be happy, when in real life you don’t know how to do that because you cannot remember how that feels like.
And you are trying, you are trying as hard as you can but it seems to be no end to that feeling, or maybe you are not trying hard enough, but you don’t have the energy to do that.
This is a reminder to myself, you are going to be happy, you are going to get up, don’t give up just yet.
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sandydgonzalez · 2 years
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Posting pics of myself on social media gives me soooo much anxiety but I feel the urge to do it because once I post it I love the attention and the likes and I just feel so fucking idiotic
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sandydgonzalez · 2 years
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There is something about the way I feel your words that make my skin go crazy like million fires growing on each tiny little cell, starting from my neck, going slowly through my arms, reaching over my tummy, and ending on my feet.
Something about you being denied to me, out of reach, not because we do not like each other but because we cannot be together, because we met under strange circumstances, you have a lover and I am a loner myself.
You have your own way to climb up to my ear and tell me the things that I have always wanted to hear, and see me the way I would like to be seen, now the fire is not only in my body but in my mind and in my heart, growing each day more and more.
Because the things that are out of our hands, are the most incredible and the most hurtful, I know that we will never be together, that my lips will never touch yours, that your back will never be under my hands and that our chests will never be so close that we will feel each other’s heartbeat but damn I wish it was possible, and I am thankful, because you made me feel something again, you made me feel those little fires all over again, after a lot of time and a lot of useless lovers, just one word of yours turns me on in seconds.
So I gotta thank you for making me feel something one more time, and helping proof myself that I am able to feel.
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sandydgonzalez · 2 years
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One day I am going to visit New York in christmas
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sandydgonzalez · 3 years
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I feel so freakin’ alone but at the same time I don’t wanna bother anyone with my existance
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sandydgonzalez · 3 years
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Having ur main emotional response be crying is so embarrassing like ill be trying to explain why im mad or ill try having a serious convo abt smthn that upsets me and ill start crying like a baby and i have to like turn around and go “i am not crying 4 pity or to emotionally manipulate u im crying cuz im a little bitch, give me a sec”
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