Not me just casually scrolling through my ex bf reposts on tiktok (we split up years ago and stayed friends is I don’t know it was complicated we sent nudes and shit years after we split ect so yeah it’s complicated asf) but he stopped speaking to me and seemed to have blocked me around the same time that this tiktok was originally posted and fuck it kills me so bad because I feel like I wasted 6 years loving someone who doesn’t feel the same back if he can just leave like he did even knowing my past and shit like I knew his past and I promised him I’d always be there and now what I’m all alone and have no way to contact him to ask what I did so wrong to make him leave like this.

Took my dog to the vets today because he’s been coughing the past few days and shat out a stick or bark of some sort yesterday so yeah. He gets scared of the vets even though nothing bad has happened to him other than his balls being taken and bless his heart he turned into a bit of a scooby doo and jumped up on my lap while crying but fuck me 30kg scrabbling around on my lap scratching my thighs up trying to put his arms around my neck to cuddle but instead smacked my head against the wall multiple times before I had to stand up😂😭he’s got some meds now to see if it helps if not then they’ll put him out to look down his throat so hopefully the meds work🥺

Video check from while i was on holiday it was so bright out also my dad was sitting on the grass so I was trying to make it look like I wasn’t filming myself lol (this was in my drafts and fuckk I wish I didn’t let myself go😭😭)

Yeah ik I gained wayyyy tooo much from my lw(114lbs) okay but imma get back there. First pic is from the 10th of March, the screenshot is my weigh in from today and god is it a relief to get back out of the 190s. Also the goal is what I hope to be when it comes to going on holiday in September

I made an account on this steps app so if anyone wants to add me please feel free to 💞

Please add me to your Social Steps https://socialstepsapp.com/add?code=4x1ItCHIBUcwOJMoC2R16xTfbVh1

OMG right I’m stoned and a little drunk and it’s cold asf outside when i was in the bar my parents have in the garden and girl things nips get hard and it hurts so much so I thought I wish there was some sort of warming bra and now it’s a whole thought I legit wanna try to make it 😭😂

My mum just casually in conversation earlier on said to me that when I was around 8st I ‘looked like a bag of bones’ and that ‘we was all starting to get really worried’ which ik it sounds horrible but it only motivates me to push harder to get back to my lw bec since getting to my hw again I don’t let anyone touch me and I always wear my hoodies which are fairly oversized so It’s kinda like my own personal game to see how far I can go without anyone noticing

I’m currently starting the purple skinny diet and am on day one which has been a success but the day isn’t finished yet so I’m just going to have a few drinks to chill for the evening (I don’t count alcohol cals) and get my steps in

I’m stuck around the same few bloody pounds and it’s really starting to stress me out now bec holiday in 5 months and like I loose a few pounds bec eating 1200 at max and burning a good 300-400 most days and yet the scale just isn’t budging -.-

One of my recent art pieces as idk what to say rn bec I be a fat bitch even though I’m doing low cal and working out it’s stressing me out as I’m going away in 5 months and I don’t wanna feel like a whale in a bikini 🙃

My Fitbit band broke before I went to bed last night so I had to walk around all day with clingfilm and tape holding it in place until a new one from Amazon arrived lol. So thankful for same day delivery 🙏🏻🤙🏻

Ik I haven’t posted on here in forever but I just don’t really know what to say. I hit my hw again which makes me wanna die. The boy I’ve loved and invested my entire life into since I was 17 (I’m now 23) had left without telling me why or anything and just I don’t know how to socialise I don’t trust anyone anymore and feel like it’s not okay to socialise and shit.

Ik I haven’t been on here in foreverr.. but currently in Ibiza and have been hitting San Antonio up for the bars/clubs which has been pretty fun :)

Fml the boy I still have feelings for has messaged me but I’m so over him and his crap like he clearly don’t actually care about me anymore and just as I’m like forgetting him yet a-bloody-gain he just pops up out of nowhere like go away please I’m trying to not think about you and my feelings of you:)

The sunrise from the other morning😍

Fuck man I didn’t even realise how long it been since I been on here… Anxiety has just been terrible lately also I think I might be in an episode of some sort dunno if it’s eupd related or autism related but eh it sucks and I’ve been pretty busy at the same time too plus I’ve gained and now weigh 9st 5 from this morning. It did go up to 9st 8 tho :/ I really genuinely am so so sorry for being awol and not being online- I’ll try to get round to replying to some dms soon don’t take it personally that I’ve not been talking tho legit have only texted 2 people the whole time I not been active which is my sister and my support worker(she’s also my friend now too) 💞

Prepare for some spam posting to be coming up as I got quite a lot of pictures and stories of stuff I’ve been up to like going to a concert and pop up event and also went away on holiday for a week plus it was my birthday on the 18th June and had family come over ect 👍🏻

Realised not been online for a couple days, not feeling very well plus there’s too many notifications from here so gotta sort that out as I can’t actually see when people message bec of it so my b Imma rest for the evening as feel sick after eating but I’ll start sorting it out later tonight 🖤💜