runoverbythecarsandcalories
TW: Bulimia
He/him | Minor | SW: 210lbs | HW: 227lbs | CW: 141lbs | GW: 110lbs | UGW: 70lbs | Height: 5'4
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Ow, I exist
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more palaye spam (everyone this time) because im sad and lonely /hj
#palaye royale#remington leith#emerson barrett#sebastian danzig#vent post#random shit#idk what to tag this
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TW: S*lf-h*rm mention
Okay so like, I did something to my back two days ago, and it's freaking me the fuck out. I can't really do that much, and I can't sit up without it hurting. I'm also trying to hide it from my parents, because if they find out, they're gonna find out about how much I work out, and see the scars from a really recent relapse. I'm trying to work around it so that I don't have to do anything, but I'm not sure it's gonna work.
Sorry about all that, it's literally just a frustrated rant-
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Daily Review: 05/08/2021
I don't even really know... today was dissociative chaos. Cried the second my friend went offline, felt like banging my head into the wall 'til I passed out in class, but I bought gum and monster for the first time, so that's good? I was barely hungry today even though I only ate at dinner, which I also restricted... today wasn't a purging day, which was nice.
Calories eaten: 317
Calories burned: 556.5
Steps: 11612
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Anti-binging techniques I use
Read a book
Play piano or bass
Exercise - don't overdo it! Start slow, don't hurt yourself
Write a poem, a story, a journal entry, infodump on a piece of paper, anything
Listen to music, and focus on it instead of listening in the background!
If craving, let yourself have a little, to make it go away, but make sure it's in moderation!
Sleep/take a nap
Google random shit about a topic you're interested in (for me, music and bands I like, psychology, ancient religion, literature, geography, history, etc...)
Do some homework - don't stress yourself out, or urges might come back/get stronger, which defeats the purpose
Text/call/talk to friends
Avoid extreme food triggers, especially high calorie foods - these are triggering for anyone, especially during urges!
Pet and snuggle with my cat
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Sebastian Danzig spam
He's relatable and my comfort celebrity who isn't (that) problematic, I get to spam random shit about him /lh
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I’m not one for classical sounds, but the whole of ‘Volume One’ by Alister fucking hits different man idk-
Edit: Find the album I’m talking about here.
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Daily Review: 08/04/2021
Today was all-round alright, could’ve done better. Reached 8,560 steps, and burned 452.5 cals (planning to work out tonight too). Controllably ate around 300 cals, binged on about 500, which I couldn’t purge. Hoping it’ll just boost my currently quite fucked up metabolism, I’m gonna go as hard, fast and long as I can (that’s not sexual, you weirdos).
Feeling honestly quite s//c/d/l (not going into detail about that, obviously), but managing-ish. Journaled, wrote some music, did some homework... the usual. Gonna work harder tomorrow!
#mental health problems#eating disorder things#ed mention#pro just for myself#trigger warning#depressing shit#over exercising
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Forgot my watch that has step counters and calorie tracking today, I nearly cried; I had an older step counter (couldn’t get a picture before it died, but it recorded somewhere near 8,400) on today, but it kept falling off and dying-
In other news, I managed a 21-hour fast, and did a lot of exercise today to make up for uncounted steps, so feeling pretty proud overall!
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PLEASE READ!
I do not condone eating disorders, disordered eating behaviors, over-exercise, mental illness/mental health problems or any of the like. Anything tagged as proana is pro ONLY FOR MYSELF, and this will be specified in every post with said tag.
While I am DEFINITELY against forcing/encouraging an ED on someone, I am also against forced recovery. I believe recovery should be whenever the person is ready, however if physical medical attention is required, that that is seen to first. I do not believe forcing recovery of any condition, or involuntary stays, are beneficial or useful.
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