ripthesmileoffyrface · 21 days ago
letter to my eleven year old self.
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ripthesmileoffyrface · a year ago
‘Mum, Look At Me!’
sometimes i think you’ll only care
if you find me half dead on the bathroom floor again
although, i’ve been half dead for years
and you never say a word until the ribs start to show through.
so maybe don’t bother again. i know how busy you are.
i’ve been big and small but you’ll never play dress up with me again.
it’s been a long time since i could walk comfortably 
in pink plastic princess shoes,
but i’ll try now if it means you’ll look at me.
oh God why won’t you look at me? 
you don’t even have to save me just watch me as i fall.
accept me as i fail.
this house is so full of anger and so empty of anything kind and nurturing
and in eighteen years i have found more comfort in strangers beds
and more acceptance in nameless nurses than you.
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ripthesmileoffyrface · 2 years ago
fuck you. if you ever touch me again I will reach down your throat and pull out the same barely beating heart that you stole from me. june 24th 2018. I was 15, I hadn’t stopped growing and I still had a curfew. there will be no remorse as the maggots eat away at your corpse. I will dance on your grave as you rot like me and for once you will be the one to hear that you “asked for it.”
you pushed me out of my body. I fought tooth and nail to get back in but nothing was the same. this body is not mine, it is merely evidence of what you did to me. my body rots amongst the trees where you cut me down. he got inside and he doesn’t want to leave. june 24th 2018. I was strong but I was a child. I played dead but I didn’t come back.
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ripthesmileoffyrface · 2 years ago
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ripthesmileoffyrface · 2 years ago
i am only useful when being used
all my life i have only been a tool for people to fix themselves and basically nothing else.
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