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Old Hollywood Avengers
(because Tony throwing Gatsby-like parties is perfect)
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relenaduo · 3 years
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what a week huh?
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relenaduo · 3 years
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For Want of a Nail[HP Fanfic](Chapter 4)
Chapter 1 can be found here: https://relenaduo.tumblr.com/post/634699555934486528/for-want-of-a-nailhp-fanfic
Chapter 2: https://relenaduo.tumblr.com/post/634700038743965696/for-want-of-a-nailhp-fanficchapter-2
Chapter 3: https://relenaduo.tumblr.com/post/634701009477894144/for-want-of-a-nailhp-fanficchapter-3
Or you can read the whole story at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27504166/chapters/67255927#workskin
CHAPTER 4
Severus Snape usually considered himself a patient man. He had to, in order to suffer through the never-ending stream of dunderheads that passed through his class each year and to be the Head of the most hated House in Hogwarts history. But Harry Potter drove him up the walls on a daily basis and the school year had only started two weeks ago.
Harry, unlike his twin, took far more after their father for Severus’ comfort. It was obvious the boy was under the terrible influence of his father and Severus was only waiting to hear the first reports of bullying to give him detention for the rest of his years at Hogwarts.
How nobody could see through the boy’s obvious cheating Severus could still not figure out. It was very simple, no child could ever be that smart and magically adept at that age, no matter who their twin brother was or who people thought they might become in the future.
Perfect marks in all his classes? Perfecting each spell on the first try? Answering every question perfectly? For Merlin’s sake, the boy was obviously cheating and badly to top it off.
If only Dumbledore could start seeing that and stop sweating bullets literally every time Harry’s perfect record got mentioned.
To correct all these misunderstandings Severus had called the younger Potter twin into his office and was planning to grill him until he cracked under the pressure and admitted to all his cheating.
There came the knocking sound at his door and Severus took one last opportunity to survey the essay he was grading before setting it aside. This task would need his full attention.
“Enter.”
Potter opened the door and grinned at him, insufferably happy like always, “Good afternoon Professor Snape!”
“Sit”, Severus commanded as he pointed at the seat in front of him.
“Sure”, chirped Potter happily and sat down, “What can I help you with, Sir?”
How insufferably helpful.
“You are going to explain to me how you’ve been cheating in all your classes”, Severus sneered. If there was one thing that bothered him most about this whole ordeal it was that no matter how hard he’d tried and how many impossible questions he’d asked Potter, he’d always answered them correctly.
Potter’s left eye twitched.
“I’m not cheating sir”, he said, insufferably calm.
“Don’t lie to me Mr. Potter!”, seethed Severus.
“I’m not-“
“I’ve been following your progress in all your classes, you’ve done perfectly in every single one of them. Too perfectly.”
“It’s not my fault if everything’s so easy”, Potter was finally looking a bit upset by this conversation.
“At yesterday’s class I slipped you a list of questions I normally ask the students in preparation for their NEWTs and you answered them all perfectly”, Severus said in a more calm tone, knowing there was no denying this.
Potter blinked at him a few times. His left eye twitched again.
“Oh. That’s, um, uh”, Potter swallowed, his left eye twitched again, ”Something.”
“Something”, echoed Severus in a deadpan, “Is that what they call cheating nowadays?”
Potter was now staring at Severus in such a way that made him almost feel like he wasn’t looking at him at all. No matter, Severus could outwait any cheating student, no matter how long it would take.
It almost took ten full minutes of Potter simply staring at him, but eventually he sighed and looked down at his lap.
Ah, here it comes. The confession. Severus barely stopped himself from smiling in victory.
“Sir, I’m not a cheater-“, Potter started and Severus could feel his nostrils flaring and was ready to ream Potter a new one when he continued hastily, “-but I can explain what has been happening! Just, please listen to my full story before you decide what to do.”
Severus narrowed his eyes at Potter, pursed his lips and nodded stiffly, “This better be worth it Potter, or you’ll be in a world of trouble, more so than you already are.”
Potter winced slightly, “Okay”, he took a deep breath, “So I don’t know how much of my story you’ve heard? About how I got separated from my parents?”
The sympathy angle? How unoriginal.
“Yes, the Dark Lord attacked your home, you and your brother were separated while your parents were comatose. You went missing a few years later because the Ministry stopped keeping track of you”, said Severus, barely containing his eye roll.
Potter nodded, “Almost, but not quite”, Potter took another deep breath, “I was sent to my mother’s sister when I was a baby-“
TO PETUNIA?! Severus suddenly sat up straighter in his seat. Who in their right mind would do that?
“-and she and her husband really didn’t like anything weird happening in their house. Thing is, they got angry over anything and everything, so I was scared most of the time, which meant that a lot of the time weird stuff happened.”
Merlin, was he saying what Severus thought he was saying? But what did this have to do-?
“And with time it only got worse, you know? I’d completely lose control and then one day I accidentally trashed my cu-um, my bedroom, uh, very badly. My Uncle was so angry he started to scream he never wanted to see me again and get rid of me so my Aunt suggested he take me to some small church in London. So he, uh, did that”, Potter looked at his lap again and fidgeted with his fingers.
Merlin, was all Severus could think at that moment as he looked at the boy with wide eyes.
“B-but that’s not where things ended see, I got taken in by an orphanage where they gave me a new last name cause I didn’t know my real one, so I got registered as Harold Green and that’s how I got lost from the Ministry. Anyways, that’s not my point here, my point is when I was at the orphanage I got to calm down a lot, but I now knew I wasn’t normal see, so I tried to do stuff I knew I was capable of and-“
“So you’re telling me you’ve been doing magic since you were, what? Six? And without a wand? Don’t take me for an idiot Potter”, Severus sneered. He was already evaluating how much of Potter’s story was true and how much the boy had made up when Potter pointed his finger at the stack of essays on Severus’ desk and they suddenly started to float.
“I can do much more than that”, said Potter after Severus had been staring at the floating parchment rolls for more than a minute.
“How are you doing this?”, asked Severus, not taking his eyes of the essays and refusing to admit the implications of what he was seeing.
“Magic Professor”, said Potter as he lowered the stack of essays to be exactly like they were before. And then he turned the essay on the top of the stack into a chinchilla.
“Merlin!”, Severus shouted and stood up so fast from his chair that it fell backwards.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”, Potter quickly reversed the effects and in some distant part of Severus’ brain that wasn’t screaming he had to admit that it was an excellent transfiguration. Many adult wizards would even struggle to keep any fur off the essay upon turning it back.
Severus covered his face in his hands and deep a couple of deep breathes, “Who else knows about this?”, he asked through his fingers.
“Uh, a couple of the kids at the orphanage knew what I can do, but they’d never tell anybody.”
Severus tried not to think about what the Ministry would do with that type of information.
“Please don’t expel me”, said Potter in a soft voice, “This is the most fun I’ve had in ages. I love learning about magic and everything just comes to me so easy that all I have to do sometimes is looks at something and I’ll understand it.”
Taking another deep breath Severus finally lowered his hands. This was worse than what Dumbledore feared. So much worse. Except, well, Potter wasn’t evil. One look at Potter’s bright green eyes was enough to tell Severus that Potter wasn’t about to start the next Wizarding war.
“I’m not going to expel you, foolish child”, muttered Severus as he took out his wand and levitated his chair back into place. Severus sat down heavily on his chair once it was upright again and proceeded to stare at Potter for several long minutes, till the boy started to fidget and look quite nervous.
“Do you have any idea what the Wizarding World would say if they knew what you are capable of?”, he asked finally after collecting his thoughts.
“Um. That its, um, really weird?”
Severus couldn’t stop himself from snorting, “’Weird’ is putting it mildly Mr. Potter, they’d brand you the next Dark Lord. Some have already done so like I imagine you’ve noticed.”
“Yeah”, said Potter, not looking too happy about it, “People are really stupid sometimes.”
Severus hummed, “So I take it you understand that the current state of affairs can’t keep going the way it has up till now.”
Potter sighed, “Is it really necessary? I’m not even doing things wandlessly, I’m doing everything the way the teachers are showing the rest of the students.”
“Yet here we are. How long do you think it would take for the rest of your teachers to become concerned about you? To compare you to the Dark Lord?”, Severus didn’t mention that Dumbledore was already doing so and it wouldn’t be long before the rest of the teachers started to listen to him.
Potter pouted. Here Severus was worrying for his safety and Potter was pouting.
“You will seize this immediately, I am trying to look out for your future. You can show your true talents to close friends and allies and when I mean true talents I am exclusively referring to your talents with a wand. I don’t believe it wise to show any other person your wandless abilities. In fact, this knowledge should stay inside the walls of this office and go no further, not until you are ready to for it”, Severus laid out, if Potter was to ever have even a semblance of a normal life in was imperative this was kept a secret.
Potter blew out a heavy breath, “Fine. I suppose you are right”, the insufferable brat allowed, “Its just going to be really boring in class now.”
“I suggest you get used to it”, said Severus and stood up.
“I-“, he paused for a second, and then decided to plough on, “I thank you for confiding this in me”, he felt it was necessary to say, especially since if he had understood right Potter hadn’t even told his own parents about this.
Potter smiled at him as he got up from his own chair, “I knew I could trust you Sir!”
Severus nodded, not sure how he felt about that, “You are dismissed.”
“Have a nice evening Sir”, Potter chirped and left.
Left wondering why Potter would trust him over his own parents Severus despaired for about an hour where he allowed himself to indulge in his favourite Firewhiskey brand before he went back to grading.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not even a full week later and Severus was once again despairing about Potter and was forced to call him back into his office.
“I won’t ask if you are an idiot since you’ve shown clear evidence of the contrary, but I still have to ask what in Merlin’s name possessed you to do this?!”, Severus raged.
Potter cocked his head to the side, his left eye twitched, “Do what Sir?”
Done with beating around the bush Severus shouted, “Failing all your classes!”, he pointed an accusatory finger at Potter, “You’ve been failing so spectacularly in all of your classes this week that I’ve had basically all your teachers talk to me about it!”
Filius especially was distraught over what had happened with his best student ever.
“But you said I should keep it a secret!”, Potter had the gall to argue with and look upset.
“Not like this you imbecile!”, he shouted and saw Potter’s left eye twitch.
“Then how?!”, Potter shouted, but then immediately reigned in his emotions, it almost gave Severus whiplash.
“I’m sorry Sir, but how did you mean then?”
Severus had to blink at the abrupt mood swing, but quickly focused back on the problem at hand.
“Obviously by acting like your fellow peers to stop standing out among them, not stand out even more than before!”, spat Severus.
Potter’s eyebrows were all drawn up in confusion, “But-I”, he bit his lower lip, “I don’t really get it. I’m sorry.”
Feeling a headache coming on Severus took a deep breath and settled back into his seat, “What do you mean you ‘don’t get it’?”
“The other children. They’re all so-”, Potter winced, “I’m sorry, but they’re so stupid.”
“They’re children”, said Severus, expecting his words to be self-explanatory.
Potter sighed, “I know, I know! But back at the orphanage I always got along with the older kids and I got bumped up two grades at the school and two of the families that adopted me gave me back because they said there was no way I was a real child.”
What.
“What?”, Severus couldn’t help but blurt, “You were adopted? Twice?”, and got returned on both occasions? Severus didn’t even want to think what kind of damage that would do-
“Five times actually. It never stuck. Personally I always preferred the orphanage. Miss Jacobs – our caretaker – was way more understanding of me than any of them ever were.”
Sweet Merlin.
“To be honest, I tried to copy Granger, but even she fails sometimes when casting a spell and I’ll be honest with you, I’ve never failed any spell I’ve tried to do. Ever. It boggles my mind that you even can fail.”
If Severus was to be honest he was still stuck on the fact that Potter was a child with serious underlying social relations issues.
He settled on, “I – see”, after several minutes of trying to process and failing how he was supposed to help this child to learn relate socially to his peer group.
Potter grinned at him, “I knew you’d get it Sir!”, he chirped.
Merlin help him.
“I’ll think on how to help you”, said Severus, massaging his temples, “Come back tomorrow this hour, in the meantime continue as you are doing. Dismissed.”
“See you tomorrow Professor!”, Potter said way too cheerfully as he exited the office.
Once he was sure he was alone Severus allowed his head to thunk against his desk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One full bottle of Firewhiskey and a sleepless night later Severus could finally say he had a semblance of a plan.
“Potter”, he greeted when he opened the door for the boy, allowing him to skip into his office.
“Good afternoon Professor!”, Potter chirped, cheerful as ever.
“Hm”, Severus grunted absentmindedly and took his usual seat, “I’ve thought long and hard about this Potter and I’ve come up with a plan which might help. Mind, it’ll take an almost daily effort from both our parts.”
“Oh?”, Potter cocked his head in curiosity, his left eye twitched.
“I’m going to teach you how to fake being a normal student”, said Severus, crossing his fingers and putting them on the desk in front of him.
Potter pulled a face.
“This is not only essential for your years at Hogwarts, but will teach you valuable lessons that will serve you for the rest of your life”, Severus explained, “I’ll be teavhing you for at least three days each week how to do this. Out cover story will be that I’ve placed you under detention for having caught you cheating. If anybody asked why you were such a prodigy on your first weeks at Hogwarts you will say you were cheating.”
Potter’s left eye twitched, “I-“, he paused and looked away, made a face and then looked back at Severus after a while, “I think its for the best.”
Severus raised an eyebrow. That was not the answer he was expecting, nevertheless, “Good. I’m glad that we can agree on this.”
Potter’s left eye twitched again, yet Severus could hear the sincerity in his next words, “Absolutely Sir.”
For a moment Severus was tempted to try unravel this mystery, but reminded himself that he had bigger fish to fry, “Excellent, we’ll start immediately. Take out your homework and I’ll help you.”
Potter looked confused, “But-“
“Help you make it look normal, Potter.”
“Oh!”, Potter exclaimed, understanding blossoming on his face as he upturned his bag on Severus’ desk without any regard for the contents.
Severus sighed. He had a feeling he’d be doing a lot of that for the foreseeable future, “Let’s start with how to take care properly of one’s school materials.”
“But I’ve been doing this since forever!”
“Don’t your things break?”
“Well, yeah, but I just fix them when nobody’s watching”, Potter shrugged.
He really had his work cut out for him, didn’t he?
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relenaduo · 3 years
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For Want of a Nail[HP Fanfic](Chapter 3)
Chapter 1 can be found here: https://relenaduo.tumblr.com/post/634699555934486528/for-want-of-a-nailhp-fanfic
Chapter 2: https://relenaduo.tumblr.com/post/634700038743965696/for-want-of-a-nailhp-fanficchapter-2
Or you can read the whole story at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27504166/chapters/67255927#workskin
CHAPTER 3
Harry stared at the white washed wall in front of him. He felt numb all over his body and was ignoring all the people rushing about the place. He was at some place called St. Mungo’s, which was the hospital for magical people that Voldemort had told him about a couple of times. Which meant the place was full of magical people.
Voldemort had been in charge of Harry’s education in all things magical since he was four years old which meant he knew his fair share about the magical world, but-. Well. Harry had never exactly been able to believe it.
In all of Harry’s years at the orphanage and the five different families he’d lived with he’d never, not even once, witnessed another magical being. Not even an inkling of one. Harry knew he was magical, of course he did, there was no other explanation as for why he could do what he did. Why Voldemort was in his head or why Spot lived inside him.
‘I still say you make a run for it’, Voldemort insisted.
Harry still had half a mind of listening to him, but after the witch lady had whisked him away from the orphanage she’d brought him to the hospital where he’d met his real parents. They’d both sobbed as they held him for the better part of an hour and told him how he’d come to get separated from them.
‘You don’t have much ground to stand on to tell me what I should do’, said Harry mentally. Harry was a bit pissed at Voldemort, but at the same time he felt like he wasn’t very surprised. Not really.
Voldemort had never made it a secret to Harry of who he was and what he used to do. When Harry had first fully understood him he’d been friends with Voldemort for years already and had lost all sense of fear he might have ever had for the man. Especially after that one time he’d jokingly said he’d tell Spot to attack Voldemort and he’d proceeded to have a mayor freak-out. Harry never understood Voldemort’s fear for Spot, who Harry saw as one of those really big breeds of dogs that simply didn’t know their strength, but were big softies on the inside. Sure he might cause destruction and have a bit of a disturbing lust for bloodshed, but so did Voldemort and Harry could never see him as any sort of harmful person.
‘Look’, Voldemort hesitated, ‘I’ve already told several time who I am, this was never a secret. And look, your parents aren’t even dead! So there, no harm no foul.’
Harry snorted and tried to cover it up with a cough when a nurse looked at him.
‘So what do you say, lets run away quickly before we get trapped in a house of the Light and Dumbledore comes snooping in.’
‘We’re not going anywhere, they said I’ll get to meet my brother once we get home.’
Voldemort groaned and Harry could sense his displeasure.
“My sweet, sweet baby!”, Lily Potter came prancing into the room, she was holding a glass of martini in her hand just like when she’d arrived at the hospital and Harry had to wonder why nobody had tried to take it away from her.
“It’s time for you to come home with us! Come baby”, she took his hand and lead him to the entrance of the hospital where a bunch of camaras flashed and a bunch of people started shouted questions at him. James was there, smiling awkwardly at the reporters and upon seeing his wife he practically ran to her and took Harry’s other free hand.
“Let’s go”, he said happily and Harry was teleported along with them.
“Ugh, I hate teleporting”, complained Harry, very more than a little queasy after doing so for the second time that day.
‘Its called aparating you fool, I haven’t spent the last six years teavhing you for you to dismiss it so easily!’
‘Aparating, whatever’, Harry mumbled unhappily at him.
“It’s called aparating”, James explained and Harry nearly died from repressing an eyeroll.
“Cool”, he said sarcastically.
“When you’re older you’ll be able to do it as well”, enthused Lily.
“Wonderful”, said Harry, hoping they could hear in his tone the sarcasm.
“It is, isn’t it?”, said James happily as he opened the front door of the house.
This time Harry really did roll his eyes.
He was led to the living room to wait while Lily went to fetch Harry’s brother. Harry couldn’t take his eyes off from all the portraits in the house and the expensive furniture.
‘It doesn’t look too bad I guess’, said Voldemort as Harry inspected a flower vase with golden coated flowers drawn on it, ‘I bet that might even be real gold. When nobody’s looking you should steal it.’
“Hi”, a very soft voice said at his side, causing Harry to jump away from the sound.
In front of Harry stood a boy that looked identical to harry in every sense except for coloring. This boy had bright red hair like Lily, blue eyes and a scar that sliced through his face starting on the right side of his forehead and going down in an angle to his left cheek. He also didn’t wear any glasses like Harry.
“Um”, said Harry.
“This is James Potter II, but we call him Jimmy”, James introduced the boy, smiling widely as he held the boy’s shoulders, “Jimmy, this is your brother, Harry.”
“Hey”, said Harry and held out his hand as he smiled.
Jimmy looked firmly at his shoelaces as he slowly raised his hand and briefly shook Harry’s, “Pleasure to meet you”, he whispered so softly that Harry barely heard him.
James dabbed his eyes with a handkerchief, “Isn’t this beautiful honey? Our family is finally whole again!”
“Absolutely honey”, answered Lily as she looked at her martini and took a sip from it.
When Harry looked back to where Jimmy had stood he was surprised to see him gone, but upon some inspection of the room he saw him standing near the corner fidgeting with one of his shirt’s buttons.
‘Um’, Harry thought, unsure on what else he should think.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry had now been living for two weeks at the Potter residence.
So far Harry had spent his time eating as many crumpets as he wanted, watching Lily go through several glasses of martinis throughout the day and watching James trying to introduce Harry to all the wonders of the Wizarding world when he wasn’t at work.
One of the most memorable attempts done by James was when he drafted Jimmy into showing Harry how great Quidditch was in the backyard pitch. Jimmy had barely lasted a few minutes in the air before he fell off his broom. James had tried to laugh all off, but Harry had seen enough of the sport to last him a lifetime. Voldemort had always told him it was a terrible sport, but Harry had never thought it was because it literally put the lives of its participants in danger.
Lily tried to give Harry and Jimmy lessons on Potions and Charms in-between her never-ending nursing of martinis, but Jimmy spent most of the lessons looking straight at his shoe laces and Harry already knew everything she was teaching him.
The only alteration of this order was on the days where Lily dragged Jimmy to the Department of Mysteries, where they examined him weekly to try determining how he killed Voldemort and survived the killing curse.
Harry wasn’t sure how he could tell them that Voldemort had never shot the curse at Jimmy, but at Harry. Assuming the conversation would include him having to explain how Voldemort was somehow trapped in Harry’s head and that they’d been chatting since Harry was four both Harry and Voldemort had come upon the agreement that it was best Harry never mention Voldemort to his parents. Neither was Spot to be mentioned. Harry had gathered enough from Voldemort on how the Wizarding world saw Spot’s species so he wasn’t about to try his luck.
“Hey, we’re back”, greeted Lily cheerfully as she walked into the kitchen, martini in hand and interrupted Harry’s introspective moment over some crumpets.
“Hey, where’s Jimmy?”
“Oh”, Lily looked around in confusion, “I was sure he was just behind me.”
“I’m here”, said a soft voice at Harry’s side, causing him to nearly jump out of his chair.
“Hi Jimmy! You spooked me there for a second, how was the Department of Mysteries today?”
Jimmy answered by keeping his gaze straight at his shoes. His left arm twitched.
‘That boy is so far into his shell that he’s mostly shell by now.’
Harry bit his lower lip, “Hey, wanna go explore? There is whole forest in the backyard that I haven’t seen yet.”
Lily looked ecstatic, “Yes! You’re both dismissed from today’s Potions class. Go enjoy yourself!”
Wasting no time Harry grabbed his brother’s arm and dragged him to the forest where he spend most of the day talking to Jimmy and receiving very little answers.
That night at dinner James was overjoyed at hearing they went exploring, “This is wonderful! Isn’t it wonderful honey?”, he looked at Lily, who was swaying in her seat as she sipped her martini.
“Sure hun”, she slurred.
“But you know what is better than exploring the forest on foot? Exploring the forest on brooms! Exactly!”, James exclaimed happily, “You sure you don’t want your own broom yet Harry?”
“Absolutely not”, said Harry, dead serious.
James chuckled, ”You’re such a riot Harry, but don’t worry, we’ll go to Diagon Alley in a couple days and I’ll take you myself to buy your very first broom!”
“Oh goody”, Harry deadpanned.
James only smiled wider at him.
‘Why did I ever consider these people as worthy enemies?’, moaned Voldemort.
Thankfully when the day came that they had to go to Diagon Alley James was called in to his job at the Ministry of Magic for some reason or other. Harry hadn’t bothered to listen, he’d been too busy celebrating.
Lily was forced to take them instead and as she was heavily hungover she forgot to explain to Harry how the floo worked and instead Jimmy was forced to do it.
“So, um, you take the, um, power”, Jimmy took a handful of the powder to demonstrate, “And then you, um, throw it in the, uh, fire and, er, shout the name, um, of the, um, place you’re, uh, trying, I mean, uh, not trying, oh Merlin, of the place-the place, um, you’re, uh, you’re going, um, uh, to?”
‘What?’
“I got it, don’t worry Jimmy”, Harry smiled and Jimmy instantly relaxed. Harry had been dragging Jimmy all over the place since he’d discovered that Lily didn’t have any objections to them missing all their classes with her. The result was that Jimmy had taken to following Harry around like a lost puppy and would often cling to Harry’s sleeve if they ventured to a place with people, like the nearby Muggle village.
“You, em, you go first, uh, then I’ll go”, Jimmy handed Harry the pot with the floo powder.
‘Just do as I told you to, not-not whatever the hell it is that was.’
‘Be nice’, Harry chastised, threw the powder and stepped in.
“Diagon Alley!”, he shouted and felt himself get whisked away and suddenly get spat out from another fireplace.
“Oh, Harry, is Jimmy still coming?”, asked Lily as she glanced down at Harry, careful not to upturn her glass of martini.
As if to answer her the fireplace spat out Jimmy next.
“Harry!”, Jimmy looked immensely relieved and immediately took to clinging to Harry’s sleeve.
“Excellent. Let’s go.” And off they went.
As far as they walked and in every shop they entered the crowd would all congregate around Jimmy and ask to shake his hand or ask him how he was doing. Harry also got a few people asking how he was doing now that he reunited with his family and how it felt to have The-Boy-Who-Lived as his twin brother.
They’d gotten most of what they needed by the time they entered the pet store, only their books and wands were left over.
“I don’t think you both need an owl. One is more than enough”, mused Lily.
Harry looked around and spotted a tiny ginger kitten sleeping alone in a cage, “Ooh, can I have him? Then Jimmy can get an owl, what do you say Jimmy?”
Jimmy’s shoulder gave a slight twitch that might be interpreted as a shrug.
“Oh! I know just the one!”, said the shop owner and soon was showing Jimmy a snowy white owl.
“He’s gorgeous!”, exclaimed Harry.
“It’s a she, but that’s indeed the truth!”, enthused the shop owner.
Jimmy hesitantly reached out to the cage and with one finger stroked her feathers.
“Soft”, he murmured.
“That’s a yes then”, said Lily and proceeded to buy the owl and kitten and all the related accessories they would need.
“Now, Mommy needs more olives, here’s some Galleons, go buy whatever you still need and come meet me at the Cauldron later”, said Lily and was gone before Harry could even get in another word.
Harry sighed, “Let’s go get the books next. At least she took the stuff we’ve bought so far.”
Jimmy didn’t comment.
After thoroughly enjoying the bookstore and buying as many extra books as their budget allowed Harry dragged Jimmy to the wand shop.
A little more than half an hour later when they exited the shop Harry had to drag his twin into a tiny alcove.
“Look Jimmy, nobody can know about this”, Harry pleaded. Jimmy kept looking at Harry with the same wide eyes he’d had since the moment Harry got his want and Ollivander had told him what made it special.
“But Harry, this could mean-“
“Please Jimmy”, Harry pleaded again, “If they find out about this they’ll do who knows what to me at the Department of Mysteries.”
Jimmy flinched when Harry mentioned that place, confirming some of Harry’s theories of what it was like for Jimmy to go there every week. It also made him feel all the worse for using it to get Jimmy to keep his silence.
“Okay”, Jimmy said softly, looking at his shoes now.
“Thank you Jimmy”, Harry breathed in relief and took a look at how much money they had left, “Hey, wanna go eat some ice cream?”
Jimmy perked up a little at that and Harry swore he was going to do whatever it took him to make Jimmy comfortable around him again.
Fortunately, this turned out to be easy since Jimmy already idolized Harry and still followed him around like a puppy on their little excursions. Voldemort hated these excursions with a passion since he found them boring, but Jimmy adored them, so Harry made sure to take a little walk outside at least twice a week.
On the day before they were supposed to be off to Hogwarts a guy called Remus Lupin came to visit. He tried to make some conversation with Harry before he awkwardly gave up and went to talk with James. Maybe it wasn’t his fault entirely that he couldn’t connect with Harry. Ever since he’d been abandoned at that church Harry’d developed a deep mistrust for all adults in his life. The fact that he’d gone through five adoptive families in six years didn’t help either.
Also, there was the fact that he had Voldemort’s constant commentary to listen to about the rest of the world and Voldemort was one paranoid motherfucker who distrusted everybody.
‘Don’t trust him’, Voldemort had hissed as soon as Remus had stepped into the house. He more or less looked like a hobo so Harry decided that he’d trust his friend’s judgement of character.
That night Remus stayed over and the next morning accompanied them all to the train station.
“For security’s sake”, James had explained and at first Harry had thought he was exaggerating, but then they arrived at Platform 9 ¾ and chaos erupted.
“IT’S THE BOY-WHO-LIVED!”, somebody shouted and in less than a minute they had dozens of people trying to greet Jimmy, who clung to Harry like a lifeline while James and Remus blocked off the majority of the people as they made their way to the train. Lily followed behind, sipping her martini.
Harry – and by extend, Jimmy – jumped quickly on board the train and went on search of an empty compartment.
“Here, let’s put away our luggage”, Harry helped Jimmy heave his trunk into the luggage tray, discreetly using some of his powers to help along.
Jimmy collapsed on the seats and curled up in one of the corners near the window. Harry sighed and put Milly’s wicker basket on the seat besides Jimmy along with Hedwig’s cage. Milly gave a soft meow, probably still traumatized after their ambush from the mob at the platform.
Harry had just sat down when a ginger boy opened the compartment door.
“Um, can I sit here? Its all full”, he said.
“Sure”, Harry smiled.
The boy sighed in relief and plopped down on the seat opposite to Harry and Jimmy, “Its like a madhouse out there, someone say Jimmy Potter and completely lost it.”
“Tell me about it”, snorted Harry, “It was awful wasn’t it Jimmy?”
Jimmy’s shoulder gave a weak twitch as he kept his gaze firm on the window.
The boy gaped, “You’re Jimmy Potter!”, he pointed at Jimmy and then looked at Harry, “So you gotta be Harry Potter!”
“Yup”, said Harry, popping the p.
‘I don’t like him. Kick him out.’
The boy was still gaping.
“You gonna catch flies”, said Harry with a raised eyebrow.
The boy quickly closed his mouth, blushing furiously to the tip of his ears, “Sorry”, he mumbled.
“S’ okay”, said Harry with a shrug, “What’s your name?”
“Ron Weasley”, the boy introduced himself and got something out of his pocket, “And this is my pet Scabbers. He used to be my brother Percy’s, but he got an owl this summer, so now he’s mine.”
“Cool”, said Harry as he gazed at the snoozing rat, “This is Milly”, he presented the equally snoozing kitten, “And that’s Hedwig, she’s Jimmy’s”, Hedwig hooted when she heard her name.
“Cool”, echoed Ron as he extended his arm and gently stroke Hedwig’s feathers.
“You said you have a brother? He already gone to Hogwarts?”
“Yeah, I got several of ‘em. Percy’s a prefect this year. Wouldn’t shut up about it the whole summer-“
Ron continued to rant about his considerable amount of siblings while Harry listened and sometimes offered his input on some topics.
A lady with a trolley full of snacks came by after a few hours and Harry decided to splurge and bought as many of them as he could. Ron was invited to eat along and Harry was able to coax Jimmy into eating a chocolate frog so he called his decision a win.
The ride was almost over when a pale boy with pale hair and pale eyes opened the compartment door without so much as knocking.
‘Holy Merlin’s pants, Lucius cloned himself!’, exclaimed Voldemort.
“Its rude not to knock”, said Harry.
The pale boy ignored him and said, “I heard James Potter the second is on the Express, I’ve searched for him everywhere.”
“Well, there he is”, pointed Harry.
The boy blinked, looked over to where Harry was pointed and only then saw Jimmy, still seated in the corner and doing an excellent impression of being part of the furniture.
“You sure that’s him?”, asked the pale boy.
“Considering he’s my twin brother, yeah, I’m pretty sure.”
The pale boy’s shoulders sagged in obvious disappointment before he squared them again. He cleared his throat and extended his hand towards Jimmy, “My name is Draco Malfoy.”
Jimmy didn’t even twitch, instead looking like he was melting even further into his corner.
‘That is so pathetic.’
“He’s shy”, explained Harry as he mentally swatted at Voldemort for being rude.
The pale boy, Draco, took back his hand and just kept staring at Jimmy, “You sure he’s still alive?”
“Oh, yeah, totally. I saw his foot twitch about two hours ago.”
Draco was now staring at Harry.
Harry extended his hand to Draco, “Hi, I’m Harry, pleasure to meet you.”
“Um”, Draco blinked in confusion and shook Harry’s hand, “Sure. Look, I’m-I’m going back to my compartment.”
“What a git”, said Ron, crouching up his face once the compartment door closed again.
“Yeah, one should always knock”, Harry agreed.
“That’s not-never mind.”
The Express halted about an hour later and all the first years were herded by a giant man to follow him upon exiting the train. He led them to a giant lake and ordered them to all board little boats that would take them to the truly splendorous castle sitting on a hill at the other side of the lake.
Harry, Jimmy, Ron and a boy called Dean all shared a little boat on their trek across the lake.
To ease his travel companions Harry told them, “Chin up boys, if something happens I’ll have you know that I’m an excellent swimmer.”
“Dude”, started Dean, as Harry’s two other companions simply started at Harry, “That does not help at all.”
‘How rude. Kick him off the boat. We’ll say the Giant Squid took him.’
“Don’t worry Dean, even if you’re being rude I’d still save you.”
Dean scooted a bit away from Harry.
Upon arriving at Hogwarts Harry was even more in awe at its brilliance. The witch lady that had whisked Harry away from the orphanage greeted the first years and took them off from the giant man. They were told to wait in a hallway where ghosts scared the rest of the children shitless, but all Harry could think about was how much he could learn from them.
‘Ghost teachers are actually exceptionally bad at their job.’
‘They are? That’s a shame’, thought Harry morosely.
And then they were allowed inside the Great Hall where they stood and waited while the lady witch called their names after a hat sang for them.
“It’s a hat? Fred and George told me I had a wrestle a Troll!”, whispered Ron.
“That would have been fun to watch”, mused Harry.
“That would have been extremely dangerous”, said a girl with bushy brown hair, looking at him with disapproval.
“But still fun”, Harry insisted with a grin.
‘We can’t have the future of the Wizarding World dying off at eleven Harry’, Voldemort sounded tired for some reason.
‘Somebody could step in before they got mauled.’
The girl huffed at Harry and pointedly looked away from him, her arms crossed.
A few minutes later the girl was identified as Hermione Granger when the lady witch called for her. The hat took its time with her, but finally sorted her into Gryffindor.
Ron groaned at this. Harry remembered his long rant about how he was surely getting sorted into Gryffindor like his whole family had been.
“You could always go to some other house”, offered Harry.
“Don’t think its up to me”, grumbled Ron.
“Potter, Harry!”
Harry took a second to realize she was calling for him, still used to actually being Harry Green, but realized just on time before she had to call for him a second time, or worse, assume he wasn’t there.
Harry sat on the stool and as soon as the Hat was placed on Harry’s head it said, “Oh no”, followed by a shouted, “SLYTHERIN!”, before Harry could even ask what it meant by that.
“Okay then, I guess”, said Harry, gave the Hat back to the witch lady and walked to the house table decorated in green and silver where half of the table was gaping at him and the other half was giving a few claps while they also gaped.
“Potter, James!”, called the lady as soon as Harry had taken a seat at the side of a pudgy girl, who was still gaping at him.
James sat under the Hat for almost as long as the Hermione girl, but eventually the Hat shouted, “GRYFFINDOR!”
The table in gold and red applauded madly as Jimmy slowly walked to them.
“What just happened?”, asked one of the older students at the Slytherin table.
“Dude, did we just get the evil twin?”, asked another and this seemed to spark immediate debate and soon all four house tables were gossiping about the evil Potter twin and the good Potter twin.
‘Welp, guess I’m already typecast’, mused Harry to his friend.
‘This is going to complicate things, mark my words’, grumbled Voldemort.
‘Maybe’, Harry thought as he idly munched on a crumpet. Normally he would have stolen a few for later, but lately he’d had so many crumpets that he was no longer seeing the appeal. Hopefully he could find a new fulfilling challenge at Hogwarts.
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relenaduo · 3 years
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For Want of a Nail[HP Fanfic](Chapter 2)
Chapter 1 can be found here: https://relenaduo.tumblr.com/post/634699555934486528/for-want-of-a-nailhp-fanfic
Chapter 3: https://relenaduo.tumblr.com/post/634701009477894144/for-want-of-a-nailhp-fanficchapter-3
Or you can read the whole story at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27504166/chapters/67255927#workskin
CHAPTER 2
Harry was all of four years old and very sad.
This seemed to describe him most of the time nowadays. He’d levitated one of Dudley’s brownies to himself a few weeks ago and Aunt Petunia had screamed when she saw it. Uncle Vernon had soon taken his belt to Harry in order to beat the freakishness out of him. Except it hadn’t helped cause when Harry was locked in his cupboard he’d unlocked himself somehow and gone to the kitchen to get some food. What he hadn’t known was that Uncle Vernon had been at the kitchen at that hour and had exploded in fury when he saw Harry. He’d screamed and beaten Harry black and blue that day, but by the next day Harry had mostly healed.
Things hadn’t gotten better since then. Both Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia screamed at him and beat him daily to ensure they got rid of the freakishness. Harry wished with his whole heart that it worked. It didn’t matter that it had made him feel special at first, now it only made him feel miserable. He really wished he could just be normal.
One day it all changed. Harry was being beaten by Uncle Vernon when his Uncle decided to drag him back to his cupboard but then he suddenly slipped and fell on top of Harry.
For one second Harry felt like he was being suffocated and then the next he was everywhere and he was flying and he was wrecking the kitchen as he distantly heard his relatives screaming.
Hours later Harry wakes up in his cupboard under the stairs sore and hungry. He’s still trying to remember what happened when he hears a voice.
‘Where is this?’, the voice demanded angrily.
“Wh-who are you?”, asked Harry, disoriented and confused, “Where are you sir? I can’t see you.”
‘What is this place? Why can’t I-who are you?’
“I-I-“, Harry licked his parched lips, but it didn’t help much, his mouth was as dry as the desert.
‘Speak up! What is the meaning of this! WHY AM I HERE?!’
The voice sounded angry and Harry was getting more and more anxious, “I don’t understand!”, he wailed, “Where are you?”, he asked as he looked around his dark cupboard.
‘WHAT DO YOU-‘, the voice suddenly halted, ‘What in Merlin’s name is that?!’, the man screamed as Harry felt something within him fight to get out and destroy everything.
“No no no no no”, Harry chanted as he suddenly felt himself being enveloped by something and then rattling around his cupboard wildly until the door gave way. Once outside his cupboard Harry calmed down and slowly opened his eyes and found that he was in the hallway, his ruined cupboard right in front of him.
“What?”, he gasped.
‘Oh no’, the voice said, sounding beyond frightened, ‘Oh no, oh no, oh no. This can’t be right, this wasn’t supposed to happen, this isn’t how it was supposed to go!’
“Sir, are you okay?”, asked Harry tentatively.
‘Nothing is alright!’, the voice shouted and Harry tried to cringe away but found that he couldn’t and he wasn’t able to tell where the voice came from either.
“BOY!”, Harry jumped as he heard his Uncle come thundering down the stairs. Harry backed all the way back to the wall, yet Uncle Vernon never came close to him.
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW WITH YOUR FREAKISHNESS?!?!”, screeched Uncle Vernon, spittle flying everywhere.
‘Who the hell is that?!’, demanded the voice.
“Th-that’s my Uncle sir, maybe you can tell him what happened. I don’t understand”, said Harry, hoping that maybe this stranger could help him.
“WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?!”
‘Shut up you oaf, do you have no idea what this child is?! Do you want to die?!’
“ANSWER ME BOY!”, shouted Uncle Vernon when Harry didn’t answer him.
“Can’t you hear him?”, asked Harry in a small voice.
“HEAR WHO?!”
‘Oh for Merlin’s sake just what I needed!’, the voice fumed.
Uncle Vernon made no sign of hearing him. Harry shrank even further into himself, “The mister, he’s pretty upset, he was shouting earlier, that’s why that happened”, Harry pointed at what used to be his cupboard.
“He’s lost his mind!”, shouted Aunt Petunia, still standing at the top of the staircase.
“A mad freak”, Uncle Vernon spat and looked at the cupboard, “No”, he shook his head, “A mad monster! MONSTER!”, he screeched at Harry.
Harry felt tears fall down his cheeks and swallowed a sob.
‘What a vile creature’, the voice said. Harry didn’t know what those words meant, but he was strangely comforted by them.
“We need to get rid of it Pet”, Uncle Vernon said to Aunt Petunia, “We can’t have it in the same house as Dudley, look at what its capable of!”
Aunt Petunia looked doubtful for a second and then she nodded, “Yes, yes you’re right! Lets drop him off at a church, they’ll know what to do with him.”
‘He doesn’t need a fucking exorcism!’, the voice shouted.
“Yes, yes, one in London, very far from here”, Uncle Vernon nodded and went to grab his keys.
“Out!”, he shouted when he opened the front door and Harry quickly scrambled out, still trembling in fear.
Harry was similarly commanded to get into the backseat of the car and then Uncle Vernon drove off at top speed. A few hours later they were in front of a small rundown church somewhere in London. The voice had been cursing at Vernon the whole way over and Harry had started to think that he might like the voice a little bit. He was already treating Harry better than his relatives ever did.
Uncle Vernon opened the car door for Harry and dragged him to the front of the church, “Now you stay here”, he hissed and walked back to his car. Once inside he rolled down his window and shouted, “BURN IN HELL!”, before he sped off, leaving Harry behind.
Harry sniffled and hugged himself.
‘Ugh, why me’, the voice mumbled, ‘Look’, he began, clearly addressing Harry now, ‘You’re better off without them. They’re trash and I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to be under their care.’
Harry sniffled again and hugged himself tighter, “Thank you mister.”
‘Whatever.’
“Who are you though? And why can’t I see you? And where are you?”
The voice gave a longsuffering sigh.
‘I am Lord Voldemort, the most powerful wizard to ever walk this earth’, he said, ‘You are magic too. I can sense you’ve been trying very, very, very hard to deny this, but you must accept it. The sooner the better.’
Harry blinked, “How do you know this mister?”
Another sigh, ‘Trust me, I can see.’
Harry looked down at his feet. He didn’t have any shoes or socks on and it was freezing outside.
“What if I don’t wanna?”, Harry mumbled, wriggling his toes on the cold concrete.
‘Then we’ll both die, most likely.’
Harry startled, sniffled and started to silently sob.
‘Oh fuck, uh’, the voice cursed, ‘Look, its not like that – fuck – please calm down!’, he pleaded desperately.
“Why?”, Harry sobbed.
‘Because the Obscurus inside you doesn’t like you getting upset!’, hissed the voice.
“What?”, Harry was confused. And cold. Very cold.
‘Shit its growling’, the voice cursed and Harry thought he could hear it too. It sounded almost like an angry dog.
“Sounds like a dog”, he said.
‘Its not a dog, trust me.’
“Sounds like one”, Harry sniffed, “I always wanted a pet, but Aunt Petunia would never let me”, Harry suddenly perked up, “But now I’m not with them anymore so I can have this!”
‘An Obscurus isn’t a freaking pet!’
“An Obus- Osu –Oscu”, Harry bit his lower lip, “Imma name him Spot.”
‘What? No!’
Just that second the church front door opened, revealing an elderly priest who was very shocked to find Harry there.
Harry was quickly bundled up in a blanked while the police arrived and upon their arrival he was interviewed and asked about his relatives that abandoned him. Harry was able to tell them his aunt, uncle and cousin’s names, but not their last names, nor his own last name.
By the time the sun was up Harry was in the office of an orphanage where they were processing him as Harold Green.
“Just for the paperwork hun, as soon as we can figure out what’s up with your folks you’ll get your real surname back”, the lady explained.
“Okay”, Harry murmured as he fiddled with his new shoes.
‘Nothing about this is okay’, groused Voldemort. He’d been giving a steady line of commentary since everything started. Harry greatly appreciated him. He wondered if this was how it felt to have a friend.
“Don’t worry, everything’s gonna be fine”, Harry told him.
“Who are you talking to hun?”, the lady asked.
Harry figured she looked nicer than Uncle Vernon so it was safe to tell her, “To Volleymol, he’s my friend, but nobody can see him cause he’s a wizard.”
The lady smiled brightly at him, “Sure thing hun”, she said and went back to work at her desk.
‘That’s-that’s not why you can’t see me’, said Voldemort, sounding tired. ‘And my name isn’t Volleymol or whatever, I am the Dark Lord Voldemort!’
“Kay”, hummed Harry, “But I’m not good with names, but I’ll get better at yours, cause you’re my first friend.”
‘I am a Dark Lord that will rule over this whole planet!’
“Kay.”
Voldemort gave a groan of impatience, but Harry figured it was okay since he wasn’t lashing out at him like Uncle Vernon normally would.
Time went by. The Dursleys were never found. Harry become officially Harold Green. Voldemort moped and grouched on a daily basis.
Time flew.
One day James and Lily Potter woke up from their coma and discovered one of their sons had been missing for two years with nobody the wiser.
Yet no amount of tears shed and Ministry officials fired brought back their son and so time simply kept flying by.
Harry was ten years and eight months old when he was dropped off at the orphanage after his fifth and latest failed adoption.
‘Well, fuck them’, groused Voldemort, ‘No future Dark Lord should grow up in a house full of filthy Muggles anyway.’
“Not turning into a Dark Lord Vol”, said Harry as he skipped into the orphanage, “Hi Nick”, he greeted one of the older boys that was waiting for him by the door.
‘Not turning into a Dark Lord yet, Harry, yet.’
“Hey Harry, ready to go out with the boys tonight? We found a store that has no camaras”, said Nick as he followed after Harry into the orphanage and to his old room.
“Dunno Nick, Miss Jacobs is gonna try comfort me after this and she knows about what the boys get up to”, Harry tried to dodge going out with Nick and his boys. It had never not spelled trouble whenever they managed to drag Harry along.
‘If you get us caught by the police again-‘
“I’m not gonna get caught by the coppers”, said Harry exasperatedly, “And that was once!”
“Exactly, once”, said Nick, not missing a beat and completely used to Harry talking to Voldemort. This was one of the reasons why Harry loved being at the orphanage.
“Nobody is getting dragged to the slammer”, Nick continued, “Mickey’s got a new knife too, so if anybody’s gonna give us any trouble he’s just gonna wave it a bit around.”
‘How is that going to stop the police from taking you in?!’
“Dunno Nick, you know how Mickey gets when he gets a new shiny”, Harry said uncertainly.
“The store sells homemade crumpets.”
Harry immediately dropped his bag on his bed, “Count me in!”, he said with a wide smiles.
“Brill”, Nick grinned and was off.
‘Your inane obsession with crumpets is going to land you in jail someday’, said Voldemort, sounding rather pissed.
Harry rolled his eyes at his best friend, “Least it’ll be worth it.”
Voldemort didn’t answer him, but Harry knew in his heart that his friend was probably making a disgusted face at him.
“Oh Harry I’m so sorry!”, Miss Jacobs wailed as she stormed into his room and proceeded to try hug the life out of him, “Those awful, awful people will never know what an angel you are!”, she suddenly pushed him away, allowing him to take a gasp of precious air, “You didn’t let your sticky fingers get the better of you, did you?”, she asked harshly.
“No Miss Jacobs! I learned my lesson!”, gasped Harry before he was yanked back into her arms to be smothered.
“Oh I knew you would never, my sweet angel!”, she wailed.
‘If I had a body I’d be throwing up now’, groused Voldemort.
‘Don’t be rude’, Harry reprimanded.
Hours later, when the sun had long gone under and Miss Jacobs had gone to sleep, Harry, Nick and the boys were sneaking out of the orphanage.
Harry was perhaps the best out of all of them as he simply needed to tap into his magic and he would float out of bedroom window and land as softly as a feather would on the ground two stories down.
‘You could at least have taken all my teachings to run away. There are many of my followers that would harbour you until you are old enough to continue where I left.’
“Uh-huh”, said Harry and noiselessly flew over the orphanage fence, “This is much more fun though.”
“Shush Har”, said Sandy as she finished scaling over the fence, “Not all of us have alien blood. We need to be quiet.”
“M’not an alien”, muttered Harry, stuck his hands in his jacket pockets and pouted.
“Sure, sure”, she said, “Yer a wizard”, she made wavey fingers at him.
‘One day-‘
“Shush Vol”, Harry said, already knowing his friend’s opinion on Sandy. Not that Harry really disagreed, mind, but he still thought killing people he didn’t like was overkill.
They met up with Nick a few minutes later and walked another block to meet up with the boys. Mickey already had his knife out and was playing around with it.
‘Oh great, the moron has a new toy.’ Harry couldn’t really disagree.
They arrived at the store about an hour later, Harry tapped the doorknob once and they all piled inside.
“You’re the best Harry!”, sheered Nick as he jumped the counter and started to fiddle with the cash register.
“Yeah yeah”, Harry said absently as he only had eyes for the crumpets inside the glass counter. He tapped the glass once and it disappeared, letting Harry grab the plat full of crumpets. Harry immediately bit into one and made a face. They were dry.
‘You could easily control the world you know. No wizard in history has ever had as much power as you do, yet all you want are some fucking crumpets’, Voldemort complained loudly.
Harry dug a pinky into his ear, “Eh, it makes me happy. What’s it to you?”, he took a turn around the store as it was being ransacked by the others and grabbed a box of apple juice.
‘I’ve taught you-!’
“Yeah, yeah, all you know about magic, yadda, yadda, but its cause you wanna live vicariously through me and I thought we both agreed that ain’t healthy.”
‘I’m the person who taught what vicariously means, you don’t get to use it against me!’
Harry groaned through he mouthful of dry crumpet and made to sit outside the store on the sidewalk, “Not this again! Vol you need to get over it! You’re me best friend and as such I gotta tell you that being evil ain’t the shit my man.”
‘I’m not deigning an answer to that murder of the English grammar’, Voldemort sniffed.
“Whatever”, said Harry, his mouth still full of dry crumpet that went flying everywhere when he spoke.
‘Just drink your juice and for Merlin’s sake stop speaking with your mouth full!’
“Sure mum”, Harry smiled as he punched the straw into his apple juice box.
‘You’re insufferable.’
“Hey Harry, the cash register only had a few quid, mind doing that trick of yours for a bit? Angelo owes Jack the Hack over a hundred”, said Nick as he came out of the store, about ten quid in hand.
Giving the few quid a side-glance Harry bit his lower lip, “He better not give ‘em to Jack like that, they disappear after a few hours.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll tell ‘im”, said Nick as he handed the few quid over.
Harry put the quid on his lap and waved his hand over them in the motion that Voldemort had taught him and soon had a little over a hundred pounds that he gave back to Nick, “He better change them at different places.”
“Brill, thanks Harry, you’re the man”, said Nick happily and soon him and his gang were leaving the store behind. Harry only got up from the sidewalk when he had eaten all the crumpets. He went to stand at the door, blinked at the cash register and made all the money he’d made disappear about an hour ago reappear and closed back the door, making sure to lock it up before he left.
‘You’re such a bleeding heart’, groused Voldemort, sounding thoroughly disgusted.
“Yup”, grinned Harry and started to make his way back to the orphanage in his own leisurely pace.
Next day Angelo was on the newspaper, along with several other boys of Nick, since they tried to spend their magic money at the wrong place. And because Mickey whipped out his knife at the least opportune moment. Again.
“See the type of hooligans that roam the streets nowadays!”, wailed Miss Jacobs as they all ate their breakfast.
“Yeah, um, terrible”, said Nick, looking very intently at his oatmeal.
“Terrifying”, agreed Sandy, mouth full of toast and left hand under the table to hide her bruised knuckles.
‘The hooligans aren’t only on the streets’, commented Voldemort.
“Don’t be mean Vol”, murmured Harry, but only after he swallowed. He didn’t need another lecture.
A couple months later Harry was sitting in his room reading ‘Teaching Your Unruly Dog Tricks’ when he got called by Miss Jacobs to come downstairs.
“If its another couple trying to adopt me I’ll scream”, muttered Harry as he set the book down, “I’m trying to learn here and those people are the worst for Spot.”
Spot, as always when he was talked about, gave a light growl in the back of Harry’s consciousness.
‘For the love of Merlin don’t remind me’, shuddered Voldemort, who would always insist that he was paying all his previous life’s sins by living in close quarters with an Obscurus.
Spot growled a bit louder.
“All your whinen’ is making him upset – Spot, no, down boy, down!”
Spot gave another low growl and settled down.
‘That everybody isn’t already dead in this orphanage is a miracle of itself.’
“What did I say about whinen’?”, groaned Harry as he reached the last of the stairs. Eyeing Miss Jacobs’ door warily Harry took a deep breathe to steady himself and knocked on the door.
“Come in!”, came Miss Jacobs’ overly cheery voice from within.
“Please don’t be another couple looking for children”, Harry whispered and opened the door.
At Miss Jacobs’ desk sat an elderly lady in a very antiquated dress, her hair done up in a tight bun. When she turned around to look at Harry her eyes widened and she gasped.
“Harry Potter?!”
‘Well, at least she doesn’t look like she’s here to adopt you’, mused Voldemort.
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relenaduo · 3 years
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For Want of a Nail[HP Fanfic]
Decided I might as well also post it here. This is my entry for NaNoWriMo. Its supposed to be a humorous take on common and/or popular tropes that often appear in HP fanfication.
You can also read the story here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27504166/chapters/67255927
Its a  story about The-Boy-Who-Lived, his connection to a certain Horcrux, his obscurial, his twin brother and his life in the house of Slytherin.
So y’all gotta know that this isn’t just some shit that’s hanging on, say, some character slipping in a banana peel and causing the whole story to split into AU. Not at all.
CHAPTER 1
On a fateful night of Halloween several silhouettes could be discerned with some difficulty, their dark cloaks camouflaging them as they walked in the shadows of the streets towards Godric’s Hallow. In the lead was none other than He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort or Tom Marvolo Riddle, the last one much to the man’s embarrassment.
Upon arriving at their desired destination Voldemort ordered the Death Eaters to surround the property and enter it from all sides when given the signal. Voldemort went to stand at the front door, quickly fixed his robes to maximize their dramatic billowing when he broke into the house and sent out some sparks from his wand, signalling his men to break into the house.
Glass shattered and wood splintered as all the windows and doors broke inwards, the house instantly swarmed by people in black cloaks. All the ruckus drowned out the terrified screaming of Lily and James Potter, both huddling together and pulling out their wands.
Voldemort marched in, his robes billowing dramatically with each stride he took. He smirked evilly at his future victims, lifted his wand and-
One of his Death Eaters slipped as he stepped out of the kitchen, fell on his ass and fired out a curse that hit James and Lily Potter square on both their chests. The Potters collapsed.
Silence descended on the home.
The Death Eater that had slipped sat trembling on the floor, unable to even move from fright.
Voldemort inhaled, nostrils flaring in a way that marred his handsome face, “I’ll be dealing with you – later”, he hissed and strode up the stairs, where he knew from their informant that the Potter twins slept.
The Death Eater whimpered, even as he still sat on the floor.
Seconds later they heard wood splinter as their Lord broke down yet another door, followed by a scream and then-
BOOM!
The house rocked to its very foundations, the top of the house evidently exploding in a flash of bright green light. The Death Eaters ran. Even the poor one that had fallen down before was out of one of the doors before the whole house started to cave in at parts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alarms had begun to go off the second Voldemort had broken down the front door. The whole of Wizarding Great Britain soon knew that the Potters were under attack and rallied to aid them.
Albus Dumbledore arrived seconds after the Aurors and witnessed them chase after Sirius Black, who in turn was chasing what looked to be Peter Pettigrew, threatening to murder him.
Unfortunately unable to split himself in two Dumbledore raced to the Potter’s house, which was swarming with Aurors digging through what was left of the house. Dumbledore himself joined them and after a few minutes little Jimmy Potter was recovered, screaming his lungs out and with a massive cut that slashed across his little face. Dumbledore took the babe into his arms and felt powerful magic surrounding the child and immediately knew this was the Chosen One.
“We found the other one!”, one of the Aurors shouted a minute later, little Harry Potter in his arms who was also wailing for all that he was worth. Dumbledore looked over and saw that little Harry was fine, mostly dirty with some dust and a tiny cut on his forehead.
“Oh wonderful!”, said Dumbledore, Jimmy would probably have been traumatized later in life if he discovered that he’s lost a twin brother and Dumbledore wasn’t sure how this would affect him as the Chosen One. Better that he never found out.
After about another hour the comatose forms of Lily and James Potter were found underneath the ruins of their house. They had been hit with some unknown spell and suffered extensive injuries so it was unsure if they would ever wake up. All the healers at St. Mungo’s examined each one of the Potters as the Aurors explained the circumstances in which they had been found in and by the end of the night the whole world knew of Jimmy Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, the Vanquisher of Lord Voldemort.
The next morning Minister Millicent Bagnold was at St. Mungos to start to proceedings to admit Jimmy and Harry Potter into the care of Wizard family since Sirius Black was no longer an option.
“They have family”, stressed Dumbledore, insisting upon the twins being delivered to live with the Dursleys, Lily’s last remaining family.
“I’m not leaving the Vanquisher of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to a family of Muggles! No matter how closely they are related! The-Boy-Who-Lived deserves to be with people who will nurture his extraordinary abilities until he is ready to leave for Hogwarts.”
“What Jimmy needs is to live with what little remains of his family!”
“He needs to be nurtured!”
Several days later they both stood at the Ministry of Magic’s Department of Magical law Enforcement, ready to start the trial for who was to obtain custody of the Potter twins.
The overseeing judge was Frederick Weatherhead, a decorated yet ancient wizard.
“Is that Albus Dumbledore?”, asked Frederick to his undersecretary.
“Yes sir, do you know him?”, asked the young man.
“Do I know him”, Frederick chucked darkly, “He used to kick me when we were little. Him and fucking Aberforth would never give up the chance to bully me. ‘Weatherhead, Weatherhead, what’s the weather like today’ they’d say, the bastards.”
“That sounds awful sir, I never knew he was like that when he was a child”, said the young undersecretary.
“Well, young, yeah I suppose. He was like four years old and it was mostly Aberforth, but still, fuck him. What’s he here for anyway?”
The young undersecretary blinked, “Um, he’s here about the custody of the Potter Twins. He wants both to go live with one Petunia Dursley, who is a Muggle. The Minister insists that The-Boy-Who-Lived needs to grow up in a Wizarding home”.
“Hmm”, mused Frederick.
That night Harry Potter was delivered to Petunia Dursley in a basket on her doorstep and Jimmy Potter was handed to Augusta Longbottom in front of a room of Ministry officials, all smiling for the photographs.
Chapter 2: https://relenaduo.tumblr.com/post/634700038743965696/for-want-of-a-nailhp-fanficchapter-2
Chapter 3: https://relenaduo.tumblr.com/post/634701009477894144/for-want-of-a-nailhp-fanficchapter-3
This is still under its working title, any and all suggestions for a new name are welcome
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relenaduo · 3 years
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Resources For Writing Sketchy Topics
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Medicine
A Study In Physical Injury
Comas
Medical Facts And Tips For Your Writing Needs
Broken Bones
Burns
Unconsciousness & Head Trauma
Blood Loss
Stab Wounds
Pain & Shock
All About Mechanical Injuries (Injuries Caused By Violence)
Writing Specific Characters
Portraying a kleptomaniac.
Playing a character with cancer.
How to portray a power driven character.
Playing the manipulative character.
Portraying a character with borderline personality disorder.
Playing a character with Orthorexia Nervosa.
Writing a character who lost someone important.
Playing the bullies.
Portraying the drug dealer.
Playing a rebellious character.
How to portray a sociopath.
How to write characters with PTSD.
Playing characters with memory loss.
Playing a pyromaniac.
How to write a mute character.
How to write a character with an OCD.
How to play a stoner.
Playing a character with an eating disorder.
Portraying a character who is anti-social.
Portraying a character who is depressed.
How to portray someone with dyslexia.
How to portray a character with bipolar disorder.
Portraying a character with severe depression.
How to play a serial killer.
Writing insane characters.
Playing a character under the influence of marijuana.
Tips on writing a drug addict.
How to write a character with HPD.
Writing a character with Nymphomania.
Writing a character with schizophrenia.
Writing a character with Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Writing a character with depression.
Writing a character who suffers from night terrors.
Writing a character with paranoid personality disorder.
How to play a victim of rape.
How to play a mentally ill/insane character.
Writing a character who self-harms.
Writing a character who is high on amphetamines.
How to play the stalker.
How to portray a character high on cocaine.
Playing a character with ADHD.
How to play a sexual assault victim.
Writing a compulsive gambler.
Playing a character who is faking a disorder.
Playing a prisoner.
Portraying an emotionally detached character.
How to play a character with social anxiety.
Portraying a character who is high.
Portraying characters who have secrets.
Portraying a recovering alcoholic.
Portraying a sex addict.
How to play someone creepy.
Portraying sexually/emotionally abused characters.
Playing a character under the influence of drugs.
Playing a character who struggles with Bulimia.
Illegal Activity
Examining Mob Mentality
How Street Gangs Work
Domestic Abuse
Torture
Assault
Murder
Terrorism
Internet Fraud
Cyberwarfare
Computer Viruses
Corporate Crime
Political Corruption
Drug Trafficking
Human Trafficking
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Illegal Immigration
Contemporary Slavery 
Black Market Prices & Profits
AK-47 prices on the black market
Bribes
Computer Hackers and Online Fraud
Contract Killing
Exotic Animals
Fake Diplomas
Fake ID Cards, Passports and Other Identity Documents
Human Smuggling Fees
Human Traffickers Prices
Kidney and Organ Trafficking Prices
Prostitution Prices
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Ecstasy Pills Prices
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Earnings From Illegal Jobs
Countries In Order Of Largest To Smallest Risk
Forensics
arson
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Blood Analysis
Book Review
Cause & Manner of Death
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Cool & Odd-Mostly Odd
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Crime and Science Radio
crime lab
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On This Day
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serial killers
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Time of Death
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relenaduo · 3 years
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“Straight outta Gotham”
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relenaduo · 4 years
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relenaduo · 4 years
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There’s no happy endings. Not here and not now. This tale is all sorrows and woes. You might dream that justice and peace win the day, but that’s not how the story goes - A Series of Unfortunate Events
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relenaduo · 4 years
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Gintama (2003 - 2019) → major groups / organizations
Sorachi Hideaki, thank you for creating a lazy, sugar-loving, nose-picking, loves the weather lady, never pays the rent, freelancing protagonist that protects the ones he loves and saves the world. Thank you for creating a pair of glasses, a hard-core fanboy, the only sane one in the trio and at times can make us very proud. Thank you for creating such a cute heroine, loves eating, and a super strong queen that we all love. Thank you for creating a super big and fluffy cute dog. Thank you for Elizabeth. Thank you for creating a terrorist whose most evil plan (the main one I remember), was to flip the enemy’s toilet paper around. Thank you for making me never look at mayonnaise the same again. Thank you for teaching me about S&M. Thank you for all the no toilet paper and poop jokes, (makes me wonder if Sorachi actually suffers from issues like these). Thank you for creating such an amazing series, filled with strong female characters that can kick anyone’s ass, for all the dicks jokes, for writing arcs that can pull heartstrings, and most importantly, thank you for being the best gorilla sensei. Thank you for 15 years of Gintama.
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relenaduo · 4 years
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Darkness cries too p.s. I have decided to return the blonde Mairon. He looks so more noble))
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relenaduo · 4 years
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I pretend to be complex and clever but in reality, nothing has ever made me laugh harder than those bad Chinese subtitles from the bootleg Lord of the Rings DVDs. Tears streaming down my face, core aching, slowly suffocating because I’m laughing too hard.
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relenaduo · 4 years
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Grandpa Mags checking in on the family
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relenaduo · 5 years
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One of the best movies ever <3
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Pass it on! Cloud Atlas is one of my favourite movies why haven’t I done more for it
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