ladyxobrien‌:

There’s a simplicity and comfort to certain routines. Normally, anything too predictable bores Marra; she needs new and exciting more often than most to keep her restless mind busy. But Thursday morning coffee is the exception; it’s something she rarely wavers on. Maybe it’s the promise of her favorite fresh coffee or the simple interactions with the baristas that work in her hometown café. But if Marra is being honest with herself, she knows a certain red-head that, like herself, seems to make it a habit of visiting often, definitely has something to do with it.

The realization isn’t immediate. It starts as superficial. After all, anyone with eyes can see how gorgeous the woman is. But somewhere throughout the weeks, among the stolen glances and passing smiles, Marra feels something different, something more than just a funny interest in a stranger. She finds her invading her thoughts, sneaking into her mind from time to time. And as if one of those scenes is coming to life before her, Marra watches with bated breath as a delicate hand swoops in to pay for her order.

Meek is not a word that could ever be used to describe Marra O’Brien. In a rare moment of uncertainty though, Marra recedes briefly, blue eyes wide as the red-head engages with her for the first time. The compliment settles pleasantly in her chest, making her lungs swell as she inhales deeply, a coy smile touching her lips, though it’s purely in an effort to stifle a much larger, goofier grin.

“Such chivalry,” Marra almost sings as she briefly dips her head downwards, pale cheeks now tinged pink with a blush. “I can tell you’re not from this cow town then.” A gentle laugh escapes Marra as she takes her coffee in hand, allowing the stranger to treat her. Taking a sip, she watches with intent admiration as the other woman pays. “I’d offer the same but, uh –” Marra nods over to the table where she had come from, newspaper and coffee cup sitting unattended. “– looks like you beat me to the punch.”

Riley wasn’t ever really — charming. She didn’t think so, really. But there’s a confidence that penetrates her gaze at the lack of a complete rejection. As much as she wasn’t completely insecure, as far as she was concerned, the girl in front of her was kind of akin to an angel, at least in looks. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t interested in seeing how much that bled into her personality.  Her smile quirks, head tossing slightly as her expression is filled with faux thinking. “Well, you could get my next round. But that’d mean you’d have to wait till I finished. And this is just my really ‘round ‘bout way of asking if you’d want to sit with me for a bit.”  It’d not entirely missed that the girl knew where she sat. And yeah, maybe that’s just because she’d seen her coming. But Riley can dream that maybe the few times she’d caught her eye had made a semblance of the impact the blonde had made on her. 

two ghosts

Riley felt drained. Was that the right word? Could that really explain her exhaustion? The last few months had just felt, wrong. She had friends in LA, she did. But there was no one who really knew her. Knew her dark parts, and she found herself buzzing with an energy that felt a lot like wanting to break out. All anyone ever saw was her sunshine, and as much as she wanted to do that for the world — she felt like she was a farce. Because she remembered the times that she’d been simply.. Riley. Years ago. There was no careful plan, or forcing herself to be happy. Whenever she dated now, she just found herself putting up a front, and just, letting things fizzle out. She didn’t want it to, but as she got older she found herself less and less able to commit to something. She loved, love. But she also held a torch in her chest, that she’d never been able to get over. She’d never had a rebound, a distraction. She really just, didn’t want one. Like she was punishing herself for ever thinking she could ever keep something so good. If she had found someone earlier, it might’ve been different. She may’ve been able to stop thinking about those eyes, in favor of something new. But it had been too long, she guessed. So she found herself just, sailing. Focusing on her work, like she used to. Burying herself in it. 

That’s where she was now, staying late to cover someone’s shift. She liked car accidents — not the actual sight or act, but the paperwork was usually pretty simple. There was a clear line of where it began, and where it ended. Witnesses tied up easily. Most of the time, no one was horribly hurt, and when they were, it was a clean case that meant people who were guilty, went right where they were supposed to, whether it was jail or on some sort of record. 

So she’s not expecting anything world shaking, especially as she walks out to get the last witness. 

But of course, the universe has a way of shaking her no matter what. And she honest to god stumbles when she sees the shine of blonde hair. “Marra?” Her words sound a little far away, and she can’t help but furrow her eyebrows together. She was totally just, losing it, right?

sweet c r e a t u r e 001

Golden hair, and blue eyes. Yeah, that seemed like it fit. Seemed exactly the type that would drive Riley utterly up a wall. Every Thursday, like clockwork, when she’d have her weekly moment of quiet, with coffee, and a newspaper — she saw her. At first, it was just a wavering glance. An appreciation. Riley never leered, but — she was kind of flaming gay? And this girl? Well, she was more than just a spark.  And it just kept happening. So much so, that on this particular Thursday Riley couldn’t help the way her eyes fell on the door. It wasn’t obsessive, but it wasn’t exactly chill. 

The door chimes, almost to interrupt her self chiding thoughts, and she’s met with that same sight, and this time? Well, she just can’t look away. 

Riley wasn’t the time to put herself out there. She was quiet, and demure. She liked her calmness, her quiet life. But there was something about those blue eyes that just begged the question of what if? And that what if seemed to be following her around like a puppy dog.  So she makes the decision, quickly, and stupidly. This wasn’t a big town, it was small, and quaint. One wrong move, especially for her? Well it could spell a little disaster. It wasn’t as backwards as most towns could be, but there was always a little danger in anything, especially approaching women.  But hey, she’d gotten out of a few things with her puppy dog eyes. Might as well make them useful. 

She’s up from her seat with a grace she didn’t know she possessed, and her fingers are digging into her back pocket as she approaches the register. Just in time, almost like fate, her card makes contact with the barista’s just before the blonde’s can. And yeah, there’s anxiety, as she turns to make actual contact with those blue eyes she’d only seen from afar, with one or two times she could’ve sworn they saw her staring. But there’s also a curiosity she just can’t make quit. 

Maybe her words are a little breathless, but they’re not shaking, and her smile is soft on her lips. “Where I come from, beautiful girls shouldn’t ever have to pay for their coffee.”

You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first — bullshit. I have never loved myself. But you — Oh god, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.

My thoughts before I go to sleep. (via forsakenvows)