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ratherbefangirling · 1 month

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Mi casa (3)

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Pairing: ot7 x reader

Genre: omegaverse, Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Summary: Revelations are made. Maybe every dark cloud does have a silver lining.

Warnings ⚠️: Reader is mentally unwell.(past abuse) Suicide ideation. Dark thoughts. Discretion advised.

You sat on the counter, your legs dangling. The sun was setting. The house was unusually quiet, it was just you and Jin.

Your alpha.

Being around Namjoon was one of the best feelings he was your soulmate, your other half, your omega.

But being babied by your alpha? It made your heart melt.🥰🥰🥰

You loved being the little alpha. It meant you could both boss around the omegas and hobi (even though you were aware it was just them spoiling you) which you only did when you felt too lazy or too bored and have the alpha's praise you when you decided to be helpful.

It was a sweet deal.

Jin was busy cooking your favourite stew.He stood by the pot using a ladle to taste test, he added salt and some other Spices and gave it a little stir.

He had learnt the exact recipe your mom made. Him and Yoongi had searched and compiled the list of food you ate. They had even gone as far as to ask your family friends and made a recipe book and cooked up a feast for your birthday.

You had sobbed and hugged them. Never did you think anyone would care for you so. It had been lovely you had essentially wrapped around Yoongi and held Jin very close so they were both stuck to you, refusing to separate from them the whole night. Thus Jimin had resorted to carefully spoon-feeding you dinner.

That had been the first time you had fallen asleep in the living room without weighted blankets or complete silence. Under the smell of the feast was a scent of sweet chocolate.

You hug Jin from behind as he stirs the pot.

"Hey little bird." He greets you.

"Alpha." You reply not feeling very vocal.

"Can you chop up salad for me?" He asks softly.

You nod and go to the fridge to get the ingredients. You wash them and start chopping with the chopping machine Hobi had bought (for Namjoon so he didn't hurt himself whenever he decides to enter the kitchen and help). It felt like playing almost. The thump as you put your weight on.

"Good girl." Alpha complements you when he comes to check your progress. "Do you want to snack on the baby carrots?"

You nod as you transfer the salad into the salad bowl and wash the contraption. Jin grabs the baby carrots and hummus dip.

He puts on your favourite cartoon on TV as you both sit on the couch. You nuzzle into him as he feeds you and himself. It's cozy.

Taehyung is the first to return home. He spots the two of you noting the snacks and a cartoon he greets the two of you and hops into the shower, changing into his pyjamas he lies down on Jins lap. You take over the role of feeding him.

Namjoon is the next to return along with Jungkook who he had picked up. Seeing Jungkook, Taehyung decides its time to finish the video game challenge they were both doing.

Namjoon crouches infront of you.

"Hello baby." He greets you

"Hello joonie." You greet him from Jins side. "Welcome home."

He smiles at you.

"I'll take a shower and be right back. " He informs.

You hear Namjoon's singing. You remember the first time you'd heard Namjoon sing in the shower you'd thought the dvd player was malfunctioning until you'd turn it off and still heard the noise. It had dawned on you that the voice you'd been hearing had been Namjoon's all along.

You giggled.

"What are you thinking of princess?" Jin asks.

You tell him. He laughs loud too.

All is well.

(Before)

When Namjoon arrived from camping the house is quiet. It's early morning. As much as Namjoon enjoys meeting up with his friends and camping. The pack is his home. He tries to be careful not to make much noise. He goes to take a shower. Comes out to make himself a bowl of cereal and milk for breakfast.

I wonder what y/n likes to eat.

The thought naturally comes to him and he finds himself smiling as he spots his reflection in the window.

"Having a good morning?"

Namjoon turns to find Jin. He nods in return.

"How was Jackson?" Jin asks as he starts making breakfast.

"Good. It was nice to meet him. Its been a while. He was complaining as usual that I totally don't make time to meet him. But it's just busy. Life that is."

"It is.." Jin has questions on the tip of his toungue but he is not ready to break the peace of this moment. Not yet.

They are both quite for a while. The only sound coming from the clanking of utensils. Till the omelette is ready and plated. Jin takes out some rice and miso soup then takes a seat beside Namjoon who has already taken a bite of the rolled egg omelette.

"I think I want to ask Y/n to join the pack." Namjoon says so softly that Jin would have missed it if they weren't sitting next to each other.

Jin nods.

And they both finish breakfast.

Jungkook doesn't like the the troubled expression all his hyungs are wearing. He wants to beg Namjoon to stop to not go to not leave them. He can't imagine a day without Namjoon. He wants to ask his hyung. What's hurting you so much that you're ready to leave and the words tremble at the precipice of his lips.

When Jin had called the pack meeting his blood had gone cold. It was lucky that Taehyung was the one driving them back from the staycation. Jungkook would have crashed them. When he had looked at Jimin from the rear view mirror Jimin had tried to smile reassuring but he could tell it was a weak attempt. Taehyung had quietened. Gone inside detached himself. The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

"There's something you should all know. Please listen carefully. Namjoon has something to tell you."

Before Namjoon could say anything a sob sounded.

"I'm sorry hyung." Jungkook apologised trying to wipe his tears.

"What's wrong Jungkookie?" Namjoon asked hugging his fellow omega and trying to comfort him.

Jin too was concerned. Hobi brought tissues and Jimin began to wipe Jungkooks tears. Meanwhile Taehyung had successfully trapped Yoongi in a hug. Yoongi didn't have the heart to tell Taehyung to move. Taehyung had seemed to be feeling down earlier.

"Please don't go. Please don't leave us 😭"

"I'm not going anywhere what made you think so"

"I heard" sniffles "You talking to J-jackson hyung" lip wobbling" you said you'd leave the pack" Jungkook says and proceeds to blow his nose.

"You said what?!" Anger is evident in Jin's voice.

"Calm down, hyung " Hobi says rubbing the back of Jin's neck soothingly.

"I have no plans of leaving the pack."Namjoon sighs. "Its just. I have a mate. I found my mate. "

"A mate? Who when where?" Jimin asks.

"She's the alpha at Yoongi's workplace."

"How do you know she's your mate and not scamming you?"

"Jimin." Namjoon almost growls in warning.

"Jimin don't." Hoseok stops.

"No hyung. What if she's scamming him. He's ready to leave the pack for a person he barely knows."

"Do you think I'm that dense that I won't know my own mate?'

"I'm just saying it could be a scam. You're a catch. Some people are real pieces of work. They are greedy and ready to do anything.. mates are not all that great. You can live without them if you don't bond with them. You can't be too sure. She could try to mooch off of you."

"That's enough Jimin." Jin warns. Jimin huffs but quietens.

"Let me make one thing very clear. I will not tolerate any disrespect against my mate. From anyone." Namjoon's voice is cold.

"Is it y/n?" Jungkook asks.

Namjoon softens and nods.

Jimin feels a little guilty about accusing you. He's done it before. Maybe he needs to reflect on himself. It's just he knows how painful mates can be his bestfriend in highschool was abused by her own mate. While it was pretty rare it wasn't unheard of. He'd have ended up hating Alpha's if it weren't for Taehyung. Warm hearted and soft Taehyung and Jin hyung. Kind caring nurturing. Not the textbook definition of alpha but alpha's all the same. He himself didn't see himself as much of an alpha but he tried his best to be a good one.

"So it's decided we'll welcome one more person into our family." Jin exclaims trying to be a bit more positive.

"We'll need a bigger house hyung." Taehyung points out.

"Yes. Yes we will. Its about time everyone get their own room."

"I'll talk to realtors." Yoongi says.

"It's settled then." Jin says happy the conversation is over with minimal damage.

It was a peaceful evening. You had been feeling better. You knew your time was almost up. You had been informed the shelter only had resources to help out for 3 months. Two of which you'd already spent in silence other than occasional prodding. You had a week or so left. You were told though you'd found your soulmate. He already belonged to a pack. You'd understood the subtext. You were truly abandoned. Now that you were better you had the chance to look at your file. You read how everything was classified so simply. Ptsd, generalised anxiety severe depression. You'd been given a referral document by the shelter psychiatrist. Who informed you you could come for checkups till you found a new doctor.

"Miss Y/n, the warden is asking for you." One of the workers informed you. You nod.

You go to the office knocking.

"Come on in Y/n. Have a seat."

You take a seat.

"How are you doing these days?" Kang Inha the warden asks.

"I'm better." You answer.

"That's good. As you know we have to limit stays for three months. And I hate to break it to you that I'll have to ask you to leave by the weekend but I'm glad you're doing better."

"I know." You reply your voice is hoarse and weak pathetic to even your own ears.

"That being said it's not why I called you. I have something important to inform you."

You look up at him. It couldn't get worse could it?

"Your uncle has died."

You laugh. You don't know why you laugh. You try to stop but your whole life feels like a joke.

I wish he rots in hell.

You think to yourself. The fury that was buried resurfaces but it has no place any longer.

Inha looks a little disturbed but doesn't say anything till you stop.

"His lawyer called. He'll come to meet you tomorrow. I dont know the details but you're most likely the sole inheritor from what I understand."

You nod.

"Is that all?" You ask

"Yes."

You leave you wonder what will happen to the inheritance if you died. Maybe you could put your soulmate into the will. Maybe they would agree to spend a day with you in return. Its fine if its pity even. Just a day you can pretend you too are alive. It would be nice.

Author's Note: I have no clue how shelters work I'm so sorry if I did anything wrong .

And yeah it's pretty dark. I'm sorry if it was off putting.

Permanent taglist : @exfolitae ; @cryingpages ; @outrobtsnd

Taglist : @kaceypdf ; @ghostlyworld ; @thelilbutifulthings ; @hijabae2019

#icymi <3

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ratherbefangirling · 1 month

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Mi casa (3)

Previous | Next

Pairing: ot7 x reader

Genre: omegaverse, Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Summary: Revelations are made. Maybe every dark cloud does have a silver lining.

Warnings ⚠️: Reader is mentally unwell.(past abuse) Suicide ideation. Dark thoughts. Discretion advised.

You sat on the counter, your legs dangling. The sun was setting. The house was unusually quiet, it was just you and Jin.

Your alpha.

Being around Namjoon was one of the best feelings he was your soulmate, your other half, your omega.

But being babied by your alpha? It made your heart melt.🥰🥰🥰

It was a sweet deal.

Jin was busy cooking your favourite stew.He stood by the pot using a ladle to taste test, he added salt and some other Spices and gave it a little stir.

That had been the first time you had fallen asleep in the living room without weighted blankets or complete silence. Under the smell of the feast was a scent of sweet chocolate.

You hug Jin from behind as he stirs the pot.

"Hey little bird." He greets you.

"Alpha." You reply not feeling very vocal.

"Can you chop up salad for me?" He asks softly.

"Good girl." Alpha complements you when he comes to check your progress. "Do you want to snack on the baby carrots?"

You nod as you transfer the salad into the salad bowl and wash the contraption. Jin grabs the baby carrots and hummus dip.

He puts on your favourite cartoon on TV as you both sit on the couch. You nuzzle into him as he feeds you and himself. It's cozy.

Namjoon is the next to return along with Jungkook who he had picked up. Seeing Jungkook, Taehyung decides its time to finish the video game challenge they were both doing.

Namjoon crouches infront of you.

"Hello baby." He greets you

"Hello joonie." You greet him from Jins side. "Welcome home."

He smiles at you.

"I'll take a shower and be right back. " He informs.

You giggled.

"What are you thinking of princess?" Jin asks.

You tell him. He laughs loud too.

All is well.

(Before)

I wonder what y/n likes to eat.

The thought naturally comes to him and he finds himself smiling as he spots his reflection in the window.

"Having a good morning?"

Namjoon turns to find Jin. He nods in return.

"How was Jackson?" Jin asks as he starts making breakfast.

"Good. It was nice to meet him. Its been a while. He was complaining as usual that I totally don't make time to meet him. But it's just busy. Life that is."

"It is.." Jin has questions on the tip of his toungue but he is not ready to break the peace of this moment. Not yet.

"I think I want to ask Y/n to join the pack." Namjoon says so softly that Jin would have missed it if they weren't sitting next to each other.

Jin nods.

And they both finish breakfast.

"There's something you should all know. Please listen carefully. Namjoon has something to tell you."

Before Namjoon could say anything a sob sounded.

"I'm sorry hyung." Jungkook apologised trying to wipe his tears.

"What's wrong Jungkookie?" Namjoon asked hugging his fellow omega and trying to comfort him.

"Please don't go. Please don't leave us 😭"

"I'm not going anywhere what made you think so"

"I heard" sniffles "You talking to J-jackson hyung" lip wobbling" you said you'd leave the pack" Jungkook says and proceeds to blow his nose.

"You said what?!" Anger is evident in Jin's voice.

"Calm down, hyung " Hobi says rubbing the back of Jin's neck soothingly.

"I have no plans of leaving the pack."Namjoon sighs. "Its just. I have a mate. I found my mate. "

"A mate? Who when where?" Jimin asks.

"She's the alpha at Yoongi's workplace."

"How do you know she's your mate and not scamming you?"

"Jimin." Namjoon almost growls in warning.

"Jimin don't." Hoseok stops.

"No hyung. What if she's scamming him. He's ready to leave the pack for a person he barely knows."

"Do you think I'm that dense that I won't know my own mate?'

"That's enough Jimin." Jin warns. Jimin huffs but quietens.

"Let me make one thing very clear. I will not tolerate any disrespect against my mate. From anyone." Namjoon's voice is cold.

"Is it y/n?" Jungkook asks.

Namjoon softens and nods.

"So it's decided we'll welcome one more person into our family." Jin exclaims trying to be a bit more positive.

"We'll need a bigger house hyung." Taehyung points out.

"Yes. Yes we will. Its about time everyone get their own room."

"I'll talk to realtors." Yoongi says.

"It's settled then." Jin says happy the conversation is over with minimal damage.

"Miss Y/n, the warden is asking for you." One of the workers informed you. You nod.

You go to the office knocking.

"Come on in Y/n. Have a seat."

You take a seat.

"How are you doing these days?" Kang Inha the warden asks.

"I'm better." You answer.

"That's good. As you know we have to limit stays for three months. And I hate to break it to you that I'll have to ask you to leave by the weekend but I'm glad you're doing better."

"I know." You reply your voice is hoarse and weak pathetic to even your own ears.

"That being said it's not why I called you. I have something important to inform you."

You look up at him. It couldn't get worse could it?

"Your uncle has died."

You laugh. You don't know why you laugh. You try to stop but your whole life feels like a joke.

I wish he rots in hell.

You think to yourself. The fury that was buried resurfaces but it has no place any longer.

Inha looks a little disturbed but doesn't say anything till you stop.

"His lawyer called. He'll come to meet you tomorrow. I dont know the details but you're most likely the sole inheritor from what I understand."

You nod.

"Is that all?" You ask

"Yes."

Author's Note: I have no clue how shelters work I'm so sorry if I did anything wrong .

And yeah it's pretty dark. I'm sorry if it was off putting. Please let me know your thoughts. Very much appreciated.

Permanent taglist : @exfolitae ; @cryingpages ; @outrobtsnd

Taglist : @kaceypdf ; @ghostlyworld ; @thelilbutifulthings ; @hijabae2019

#bts x reader #bts ot7 x reader #ot7 x reader #ot7 x you #omegaverse #omegaverse au #namjoon x reader #bts au #bts fluff #jin x reader #jimin x reader #yoongi x reader

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ratherbefangirling · 1 month

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Bts Reaction: Ramadan Edition

BTS and Female Reader are friends.

Muslim Reader. but anyone can read it.

Warning ⚠️: If it makes you uncomfortable don't read it. Cringefest. Gif credit to owners.

Meanings at end.

Kim Namjoon.

Namjoon always makes sure that he doesn't cross your boundaries and is a very respectful person in general and that was one of the reasons why you and him were great friends. You guys talked about various things.

Soon enough you start talking about your religion. Islam. Which is an important aspect in your life. You try your best to satisfy his curiosity but its not enough. You give him some books you had and devours them. As Ramadan approaches. He wishes you Ramadan Mubarak. That's something you're happy about and it would be very nice if it stopped there but now everytime you curse Namjoon gives you a disappointed look.

"Good Muslims are careful of what their toungue utters." He said on an occasion.

"I dont know isn't that dress showing too much skin." He continued saying on another.

"Namjoon it's literally full length."

"Wow sarcasm is haraam." He tells you one fine morning.

"Yes so is murder."

"It's also illegal."

"I know."

Congrats on making your friend a member of Haram* police.

Kim Seokjin

You and Jin had bonded over your love for food. Currently you were explaining to him why you can eat chicken but not his chicken.

"There's a particular way for the meat to be cut so that its halal*"

Then you told him about things which were and weren't allowed.

For Ramadan Jin helps you plan your meals so they are the right amount of healthy and hearty.

He also helps prep your food and brings you meals to add to the iftar*. He is always caring and kind and helps you in anyway he can.

Also finds it funny when he hears the Quran translation of a verse talking about Jinn* and Mankind.

"So you're telling me that you never told me that your holy book keeps mentioning me."

Starts calling you mankind for fun. Changes your contact information too.

Min Yoongi

He had heard you listening to the Quran*. He had grown curious about it. So you'd told him what it was.

Yoongi being the king of trivia had an idea about Muslims but becoming closer to you his curiosity had grown. He is #1 supportive and ready to defend you if needed. You could always talk to him about feeling left out and isolated and viceversa.

He always wanted to be part of a charity event so when you told him about how their was a Ramadan drive to give food and necessities to the less fortunate he was excited to volunteer fir it.

For Ramadan he accompanied you to the organised Iftar and learned more about the importance Islam gave on kindness and community among other things.

Jung Hoseok

Hoseok had come across Abaya* one day. He had been online shopping muslim clothes so that he could gift you something for your birthday.

You told him about how modesty was valued in Islam. That in one lecture you had heard it was said that women were something precious and you keep precious things safely and covered.

So as Ramadan approached and you talked about getting clothes for Eid. Hoseok got heavily involved. Going as far as sending you outfit inspos for Friday prayers, Taraweeh (special Ramadan prayers). And even getting himself an outfit with a prayer cap.

Sometimes you scare him by telling him Jin stories. Poor him gets afraid to do things alone.

Wind blows.

"AHHHH!!!!!!! This house is haunted. I can't do this anymore."

Park Jimin

When Jimin learns about your fasting. He is surprised to know that you can't eat or drink during it.

"Not even water."

"No Jimin, not even water."

"So how long?"

"It's from before sunrises to sunset for a month." You inform.

Jimin takes care not to eat or drink infront of you. Except one day he finds you eating.

"Y/N why are you eating aren't you supposed to be fasting."

"Not today."

"So you can skip fasts."

"Only if you're sick...or on your periods."

"So?"

"PARK JIMIN." You whisper shout.

"I'm sorry. Do you want chocolates."

He might be a little slow at catching up but he's got the spirit.

Kim Taehyung

Your friendship with Taehyung was based on both of you believing in angels.

So when Taehyung heard about you fasting he decided to join you. On your day off you were prepared to have Taehyung accompany you... or so you thought. After Suhoor* which you almost missed because it was way past his bedtime and was before he ever thought about waking up.

In the morning he wakes and starts preparing breakfast midway realising he was fasting. Tweets throughout the day.

Min 5456 without water. I'm thirsty.

Min 6544 without water. I'm sorry for wasting water in the shower.

Sec 7777777 without food. Hangry. ... and board. Bored.

He is also behind you at mid noon about how he was bored luckily you prepared art supplies to make a Ramadan Kareem Banner. Soon after which you started preparing iftar which he thoroughly enjoyed making and later consuming.

Jeon Jungkook

Jungkook dug all Ramadan Memes and enjoys sending them to you. Specially if he can see your reaction.

Jk: do you want to see my date?

Y/n: .....

*sends a picture of date (fruit)*

Also starts saying Bismillah (in the name of god~said before starting a task) , Inshallah (if God wills ) etc.

Also he is somehow always present during both Suhoor and Iftar.

The foods to good to resist. More excited about it than you are.

"It's to give you company Y/n. You can't fast by eating only a packet of Ramen."

But also helps you with odd jobs like cutting fruits for Iftar or frying so that you can pray in peace.

*haram= unlawful.

**halal= lawful/ allowed

***iftar= when the fast is broken

****quran= holy book.

*****Abaya. Its a dress worn by females that covers the whole body and is usually black in color

******Suhoor. Dawn meal before fasting.

*******Jinn : djinn.

Authors Note 📝

Please give feedback

#ramadan reblog #ramadan #bts x reader #ramadan mubarak

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ratherbefangirling · 2 months

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ratherbefangirling · 2 months

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↳ out of context yoongi

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ratherbefangirling · 2 months

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140306 - BTS on Twitter

#yoongi casually sitting on Jins lap #the three lookimg softies #baby line being emo grunge #i dont know how much of what i say is accurate #cause i see word i like word and i use it when i feel it

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ratherbefangirling · 2 months

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You’ve heard of one shots, now get ready for none shots! It’s when you think of an idea for a fic and then don’t write it

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ratherbefangirling · 2 months

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seven ♡

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ratherbefangirling · 2 months

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While I do agree that some people really take it out of context I like the clean image. That's not to say bashing is ok. It never is people who think they're entitled are wrong. But personally I'm tired of seeing glorification of some things. I understand artists wanting freedom in their art. It is important and should be protected and in his example he's absolutely right.

I support it but it's truly a dangerous gamble.

Children consume media and yes there should be better regulations and parents should be better though even as a adult I miss media which is simply 'innocent'(for the lack of better word) something I can watch with my family. But there is such a dearth of celebrities or role models that I don't completely want it gone. The whole idol fan relationship is oftentimes built on very unhealthy grounds. Not all of it but the world keeps becoming terrible so pardon me if I want one semblance of somewhat 'pure'(usee very loosely) things.

Can we talk bout purpose of haegeum a bit more

I struggled so much while I was working on "Haegeum". "Haegeum" can mean an instrument but also freeing what's forbidden (...) The thing about idols… is that we don't have to commit a crime or do something that's controversial for people to blow little things out of proportion and judge us. I could never undrstand the mentality of those people. I mean, I've never caused trouble, but… Like when an idol smokes a cigarete in a music video, thee kind of things… Say I get criticized for these things at the age of 31.(...) I strongly believe it's a social phenomenon that we need to think about. I wanted to unlock what is forbidden to us. And since a world of information is just a click away from us now, even I stopped bringing my imagination and my thoughts into action. So this is my message: "Let's free ourselves from these things". Thanks to all the brilliant technology we have, we can now easily find out what's happening around the world. But I strongly feel that this is the reason why some things in our lives are actually forbidden to us. It's okay to care less about what others think. You should be able to do what you want. (v.cr.: dwellingsouls)

#just some thoughts #for my own reference

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ratherbefangirling · 2 months

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you & I : pt.1 An Old Abandoned House

N E X T

pairing; Unspecified member X Reader { I imagine it being Jungkook}

genre: poem fic, angst, romance, strangers to lovers to strangers again

summary: some love stories seem like dreams but end up as haunting nightmares

Her POV

Slow soft hollow words

Words that you said

I think of them

Instead of listening

To what my friend has to say

She waves her hand

Where were You,

She asks me.

Where was I

I think

I was in a lovers paradise

Until I realized

My lover didn't love me.

I still reminisce

Your warm embrace

I was in my tormentors arms

Until they couldn't hold me

I couldn't take the risk and bear that sweet agony.

Nowhere,

I reply.

I try to concentrate on what she has to say

Who was He,

She asks me finally.

The one who broke your heart,

She clarifies.

Who were you

She asks

I don't know

I never claimed to know you

I was just trying to find out

I knew things about you

And

I tell her.

When I first saw him,

I tell her sipping on my drink delaying it

So she gets bored and leaves the topic

Like I left you.

But it was not because I didn't find you interesting

You were the most intriguing person

I had met

was ever likely to meet.

I met him in a porch of an old abandoned house which I never knew existed until this fateful summer,

I stop

inhaling

When I first saw him he was covered in bellows of smoke,

Escaping from his lips

Each inch of his body was covered with ink,

I tell her attentive face.

Did you talk to him,

She asks.

Not just then,

I admit

I went again hoping to find him

He wasn't there

I started coming everyday cause I liked it there

The lake the trees the chirping birds

Singing and free.

What happened then,

She asks doubting.

He came back the boy I had seen

And when I looked at him

I was awestruck

I had never seen someone like him

He told me it was his place

I was disappointed

I didn't want to leave

Can I stay here

I asked him

He thought for a moment

And what a long moment it was

He looked and his eyes stopped at the sketch

You draw he asked

Yes sometimes

If you show me your drawings I will let you come here

He said.

He smiled at me his crooked smile

And I swear nobody had smiled like that

Never smiled so when they were looking at me.

I wondered what he liked in them,

I tell her.

Wondering what you liked in me.

We met each other everyday And slowly we covered every distance there was to cover

All in a number of days,

I continue.

I tell her that you liked taking pictures

Not telling her you traced each nook and corner of me

I tell her you were very artistic

And that you for some reason liked the smell of my shampoo

I tell her that you dressed in a fashion that only you could pull off

Not that we cared about clothes you and me

I tell her you seemed to smell like sirens do

Not that you tasted like ashes

I tell her your eyes changed

Oscillating between clear skies and stroms

Not that I spent hours gazing at them

I tell her I learned every story of each tattoo on your skin

Not that you got our initials engraved on the skin of your heart

I tell her that you had a sweet soothing voice not the sweet things whispered in my ears

I tell her he didn't love me

Not the fact that you needed me Like lungs needed air

That I needed you

Like the earth needs the sun

We needed each other so much

It broke both us and our hearts

You said you only felt that you breathed because of me

I told you how you gave me direction and added meaning to my days

I tell her that I stopped going back because I couldn't do it anymore

I loved him too much and that wrecked me..

I knew it would destroy us this love and do him no good

He told me he could be strong for me

But I couldn't be the person

Who shattered him

Who snatched away all his hope

And set fire to his dreams

I wouldn't let him ruin himself

For the sake of ever changing feelings

I tell her

Not that what we felt would ever change

I stopped it from increasing but what I had for him was more than enough and yet not enough at all,

I tell her

I remember the day I left you

You begged me to stay

And I swear when I came home

I was only crying more

Only breaking more

You must have thought it was easy

For me to let go

It only proves

How much you didn't know

About me

And it would only destroy us more

So I became

The villain in our love story

And like all evils

I lost

I lost you.

I still don't take your name

I don't tell her

And she doesn't need to know

Whose heart I broke

She doesn't need to know

You were my one chance at love

My only lover

She doesn't need to know

That you were

My only hope

In this bleary dreadful world

Before you became her prince

She doesn't need to know

That if I say so

Even today

You'll come back

To the old abandoned house

To me.

Hope you like it !!

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#this is so Jungkook core

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