just two men as god had made them i guess

“A hundred years of the Punic Curse and Rome will be slave to a hairy man, a hairy man that is scant of hair. Every man’s woman and each woman’s man. The steed that he rides shall have toes for hooves. He shall die at the hand of his son, no son, and not on the field of war. The hairy one next to enslave the State shall be son, no son of this hairy last, he shall have hair in a generous mop. He shall give Rome marble in place of clay and fetter her fast with unseen chains, and shall die at the hand of his wife, no wife, to the gain of his son, no son. The hairy third to enslave the State shall be son, no son, of this hairy last. He shall be mud well mixed with blood, a hairy man that is scant of hair. He shall give Rome victories and defeat, and die to the gain of his son, no son - a pillow shall be his sword. The hairy fourth to enslave the state shall be son, no son, of this hairy last. A hairy man that is scant of hair, he shall give Rome poisons and blasphemies and die from a kick of his aged horse that carried him as a child. The hairy fifth to enslave the State, to enslave the State, though against his will, shall be that idiot whom all despised. He shall have hair in a generous mop. He shall give Rome water and winter bread and die at the hand of his wife, no wife, to the gain of his son, no son. The hairy sixth to enslave the State shall be son, no son of this hairy last. He shall give Rome fiddlers and fear and fire. His hand shall be red with a parent’s blood. No hairy seventh to him succeeds and blood shall gush from his tomb.”

— Robert Graves, I Claudius

you cannot advertise to me in a way that matters.

White Feminism

oi don’t kare of monday’s blue,, chewsday’s grey and wensday too,,, thusday oi dawnt care about you it’s friday oiminluv,,

we as a society need to do something about the fact that frozen pizza doesn't taste good

Escalator

General tumblr reminder, since some people don't know: If the person's URL has "deactivated" plus a string of numbers (a date) after it, that means that they manually deleted their own blog. It doesn't mean they were banned. Banned blogs don't have "deactivated" after them and will just be the normal URL you can't click on or interact with. They look very similar and function the same, but they were caused by two very different things.

HELLO whoever at buzzfeed made him read a lesbian-on-gay thirst tweet you are my idol

my pet mold spore

USA network shows from like 2007-11 were so goated because every one was like "the police force of x major American city is wholly incompetent. all their crimes are solved by a weird little guy"

You know what really fucking Annoys Me about internet censorship is stuff like swear words being heavily censored because that's entirely an American cultural hangup being forced on the rest of us. I don't know a single country where swearing is as taboo as it is in America. In fact most languages have swear words that would have the same effect on an American as giving a Victorian chimney sweep a pepsi max cherry.

I wish rainbow trout flew around in the skies so I could release them like doves at my wedding.

this guy's beef got old enough to have geology