Celebrating small wins of life

Good Boss - Bad Boss

Let me try to put it in this way, why do you think having a good mentor in life plays an important role ?

One may say a good mentor helps an individual grow professionally and personally, a good mentor always has the best interest of the mentee in the mind .... Blah Blah. Although all this may be very much true albeit what really makes a good mentor stand out from a bad one is that a good one makes you realize the value of things which you could’nt realize earlier or might have just overlooked even if noticed . You see , very few are blessed to begin their careers with a good mentor in the form of boss, and even if they do, they realize their value when their bosses change. While it is generally believed that a sizable number are blessed with their version of good boss at some point of time in their lives.

While a mentor can exist in different forms be it a colleague, friend, guardian , parent , teacher etc , your boss particularly plays a pivotal role . After all you’re spending more time of your day with your boss than your family

In above, you see I mentioned ‘their version of good boss...’The term good boss is very relative and can be as gray as it can get. A person who must’ve had miserable time with a terrible boss earlier may find even a normal well behaved boss as an epitome of a good boss. So clearly there is no particular definition of a good and a bad boss. But over years I’ve worked with more than 5 managers to whom I’ve been directly reporting to. And that somehow has helped me to develop a general understanding and draw a sketch on what makes a good boss .

1. A good boss knows your strengths and weakness or at least takes efforts to know them

2. A good boss nurtures and grooms you in a way he/she would conduct the job, essentially aiming to put you in their shoes to get a job done

3. A good boss will resolutely stand behind you

4. Relationship with a good boss can never be just professional and always has a personal touch to it

5. It is rare to find a good boss being belligerent

6. A good boss always tries to keep things amicable between his/her reportees

7. When push comes to shove , a good boss will bear the brunt for team.

8. Remember even a good boss is confined by constraints , at times just let it pass 

9. A good boss will ensure your learning curve remains high, and certainly knows that the spirit to grow needs to be rewarded. As a mentor he/she would encourage innovation and strategic thinking to give a liberty to do the things your way

10. A good boss is not just a mentor, is a leader by choice so empathize

Let me speak to you about 2 bosses in my career, who lie on the two extremities on an scale. Will help you get an idea how I had my share of a good and a bad mentors.

Boss 1: 

Used to hardly get involved in the projects/activities I was involved in. His justification to that was that he believed in the philosophy of giving his reportees their own space to work. You see , how it backfires. When some projects had reached an impasse/blockades , the boss used to take my case because up to this point the project would’ve got out of control. You may wonder , wouldn’t the boss know the status of the projects regularly. Ofcourse he did, as a matter of fact he also didn’t believe in having regular standup or project update calls and rather had requested on regular status updates on mails. You see what it does ?

It creates an imaginary wall between you and your boss which makes reaching to your boss for support very difficult even it meant he was just a call away. His schedules would be jam packed and almost found it impossible to reach out to his team. As a team , we as members of team had no visibility on projects he was working on whatsoever. Getting his time was a luxury, and even in that time we would’ve to pacify his anger because of his habits, he had a peculiar habit of not listening to others and would want to only propagate his own views. This habit of his had backfired him a lot to a point where there were MD level escalations. The language of politeness, empathy , sweetness was completely absent and that made him a horrid boss. Soon one by one team members left, I was first one to leave his team, it came at cost of my bonus but I was ready to let it go for the torture I’d to endure otherwise. One of the Best decisions of my life

Boss 2:

After moving from my previous boss which in this case was Boss 1, I was skeptic on the new would be boss. I knew I was good at my work, I am confident, had already received plenty praises from my colleagues and other team members. So I was certainly not under-confident from my former experience with Boss 1. With my Boss 2 , I’d a real mentorship experience. My Boss 2 was a lady , she was extremely confident about her work and to my personal opinion very knowledgeable , resourceful and was far sighted. But that was she as an individual, one of the first things she did after joining the team was that she scheduled a team meeting to break the ice between team members and between her and the team. She then make sure all the team members are not only clear on their own KPIs and KRAs but are aware of other team members’ as well. That essentially helped the team to understand their team’s responsibilities, a small but very effective exercise I would say. This business unit didn’t had clear roles & responsibilities as there were many grey areas. She made sure she reached out to her bosses to define those grey into black & white. She made sure her expectations from each team member is being discussed with them one on one. During any crises she backed her team like crazy when she knew her team was correct, to a point where she didn’t shy away from having tussle with her super bosses as well. Well one may debate that certainly must be making some senior management folks upset, but if one may try to see it from a leadership point , I would call that boss a level 5 leader. I always used to read textually abould leadership qualities and a level 5 leader, but after working with her I saw it.  Apart from being a great boss , she is definitely a great human being . We would have product releases at month ends and she would sit with us to do sanity tests when we would be shy of testers. I consider myself lucky to have had worked under her and given a chance to work again , would take it with a flinch. 

So when you reach to a point where you have reportees under you , try to pick the best slices from each of the good bosses you came across in life and try to curate your own template . Its certainly not going to be easy, and being a boss itself requires you to allocate a bandwidth of its own . Not going to be easy as its a part of experiential learning but surely we all will get there.

Life Update:

Got married. Moved to suburbs. Trying to be a good Husband (which btw exists only on paper :-P ) . Learning abc’s of married life daily. Grown Professionally. Moved to a Product role. Technology developments in the financial domain still amuses me so have also become an active crypto investor. Trying to keep up the pace of 1 book/month of reading. 1 Trip/month is still a thing of ours. 2/3 meets/month with Friends. The measure of happiness has certainly changed as time has passed. More focus on healthy lifestyle is actually a things in our house. Yoga and meditation is a daily practice now . Looking forward to more experiences in life.

© 2022 pranavthepp

Well ticking off my checklist

Poles Apart

It is not quite often that we come across people who are so alike yet poles apart. Initial impressions made me wonder, can two people be so alike ? It was too good to be true situation. With a skeptic eye I decided to just know more about it.

Meet Mili , the super woman. I came across Mili in the most traditional way possible, via matrimony. Yes these things still very much exist. Never knew I'd be seeing myself on any of those ever. Because lets face it , the way society perceives it is rather different, only the ones who couldn't find love in their life end up there. So Mili was just another profile my mum happen to come across . I never entertained anyone approaching from matrimony much simply for the fact that I was looking out for love in a true sense . And to my shallow view, by definition I believed one cannot find love through arranged way.

Phase-1

After much of insistence from Mum , I decided to talk to her for formality just to put her in reject list later. "Hi...." she said, that hi went for half hour, hyperbole not literally. Now let me tell you, never in my life I've come across person who likes to talk so much because I don't talk much. And to my surprise, after hearing her I found listening to her oddly satisfying. Not that she had lot of interesting things to talk about but the way she talked about them. She spoke things with so much exuberance that it carried a kind of beautiful innocence and honesty with it. Let me tell you , I am not much of a talker but this woman made me captive to her aura and made me bell the cat. There was something about her that I found very attractive .

For the first time in many years I felt different. Chats converted to calls . And calls stretched to hours . We talked on any random topic for hours, it was like meeting a long lost friend every time . I thought it was about time and this would stop with time or once we start meeting. We were to meet in March but then Corona happened and whole country went into shutdown, I had to cancel my flights (She stays in Jaipur) and the long wait was flushed.

Retrospectively , best thing ever happened . Because this was the time we started to connect on a more deeper level. Surprisingly, calls were increasing and so were the hours , incessantly. Initially I was ignoring this thinking that this is the most common phase of any relationship , and the need to talk just reduces with time . But the case here was very different, Mili has so many faucets to her that every time I talk to her I learn something new. She is a very fascinating human being . I may come across as a mad scientist, but I have never come across any human being in my life who has so many different dimensions . By now I had learned all her buas' name, her first dog Audi and his notorious stories, her nemesis, the fact that she prefers lip balm over lipstick, she hates to talk about politics and much to her reluctance she couldn't begin her day without talking to me.

But let me tell you , those things were still like scratching the surface. When I say deeper level I meant exploring her characteristics . Mili has this amazing ability to tell stories effortlessly. Her ability to keep my attention is amusing  to even me. At times she has to ask whether I am listening to her or not thinking I am bored. Quite a skill I must say , apt for a creative job if she ever wants to pursue one. Hey , it doesn't stop there. She has an innate nature to not keep things cliff hanging, often when we have disagreements and fight at times , she has to resolve it on the day itself and start the next day fresh.The quality I am most attracted to , may be because I belong to same school of thought. As they say , true testament of any relationship is seen during crises . It was 5 months so far and I had become talkative by now , I knew I am a bad singer ( She purposely likes to make me sing because she is blessed with a good voice) , I am too bad at remembering lyrics, and women go frenzy over chocolates and gifts, and foremost I'd become an addict.

Phase-2

6 months in to this and by now we had become very familiar to each other's breaths, pauses and full stops . It was just about time that we'd to meet because the wait was killing us and corona was no far to be gone. We decided to meet midway which would be equi distant for both. A resort in outskirts of Indore was decided , but now we were accompanied by Parents. Never met this girl before , hardly did video calls yet parents were accompanying us. Strategically speaking, it was a very risky call but something within us felt right. Because strategy doesn't apply in the businesses of hearts. The day we met was one of the best day of my life not for the fact that there was any excitement or so to meet, but for the fact that I felt as comfortable around her as I did while talking on phone.

It has been a month now since we're engaged. There have been some amazing moments and then not so amazing moments . Mili still doesn't stop to amaze me. Still I try to sing in my amazing voice upon her insistence , and have started to even like it because it makes her happy. Phone calls still last long, phone buzzes with Good morning and Good night texts. Now I have 2 mummys and papas and also a new brother . Excitement to hear her voice has just increased. Mili has also now developed a knack to learn , she surprisingly likes to talk about politics, so much so that she even has opinions to give. She has become very kind and patient to listen to my talks about work. And with great humility I must say that I've learned Mili is far mature than me. A gem who you wouldn't want to lose.

It didn't really cross my thought until I proof read this piece that this comes across as written by someone who is Love. Totally. Past few months have really taught me lot of things about things, about people, about myself and about love .I believe till love and respect remains as a foundation of any relationship, things can always be build and rebuild around it . So doesn't matter how much poles apart you are , when people commit to the idea of commitment, it nurtures the best of the relationship.

© 2020 pranavthepp

When I felt truely liberated.

Bundle of excuses

We all are the same only if we talk about it.

When two minds talk , hearts ache.

The late 20s

While scouring through the crowd , more often than not you can identify the people in their late 20s. The apathy on their faces says it all.

Our life is a journey, and is defined by milestone events which shapes our character through this journey. We have categorized these events in a form of age group. Babies, Toddlers, kids, Teens ,Tweens etc. Lest we talk about adulthood considering we have bundled entire adulthood into one. But in hindsight, people still don’t talk about it knowing how much relevance it holds. Right from the moment we reach adulthood (18yrs), things start to rile up.

So let me be try to put my platter in front. You know how you feel when you enter college life, right? This is it, I finally made it to my final years of education. Least we know , education and learning has to stay forever. But only because we’ve been through a lot of pressure of board exams followed by entrance tests, in that moment we forgo our reality. And from there on wards begins your journey for late 20s.

If you end up doing Engineering , then it is Gospel’s truth that you come out as a different person altogether .The life after graduation for an individual is pretty bad in India unless you’re pass out from IITs/NITs, you’re being paid peanuts. Ofcourse it has to do with the Indian society’s obsession with engineering and medial which has resulted in such a huge gap in demand and supply but also mainly because the quality of students and education equally has dropped in Engineering colleges. Non-updated curriculum, Vintage tech , bad facilities for students are just few other reasons to name. Being a victim of the same system , I am not too proud about it. To what I’ve been told it is far worse for a commerce pass out, either they end up doing CA/CS , some banking entrance or UPSC . And this is what creates what we may call as ‘early career crises’ for an young individual in India.

The ROI ( Return on Investment) factor is almost negative. Even if I were to take a mean salary of an individual with Engiineering Degree , it takes atleast 7-10 yrs to start getting returns.Meaning he/she spends 7-10yrs just paying off debt. Hence many people go for post graduation to get niche.

Post Graduation again takes 2-3 yrs by means when you’re done with your PG , you’re already touching upon late 20s phase. Now that you begin with your new innings you realize that you’ve already lost your precious 20s. Your Grad peers are already by now 4-5 yrs more work experienced than you. And perhaps the only leverage you have over them is your post grad degree. Some of them might have already been married or far worse might have kids. Which then compels you to reflect on your life decisions and makes you wonder whether you are moving slow. On top of that Indian Parents on being what they’re will keep subtly asking you about your future plans or in some cases directly about your marriage plans because they too have friends whose children might be one of those who are already married or about to get. Your work environment keeps changing and with that the people around it.You’re constantly bench marking yourself against your friends by either stalking them on linkedin or other social networking websites. Now the zeal to move ahead does not come from ambition to move ahead but fear of not moving ahead with the speed you should or worse fear of slowing down.

People who are young are also broke , burned out since they’re too worked up. Have to compromise on lifestyle even after attaining niche. Now that you’re young and broke, marriage goes out of the picture. Even if one decides to get married the lifestyle is not as what one would expect otherwise. Family planning gets postponed and the ripple continues . And all this is not by choice but by circumstances. And so on the whole vicious cycle continues.

By mentioning above things , I am not trying to pull a Rabbit from hat. This is, if not all but most individuals’ story who are in their late 20s. And if not worse it is as much pressure as it was during our entrance exams. Because now, apart from sustaining above pressure you’ve to also plan your career along with your finances for the future. I am not saying this all is unheard of, all I am saying is we need to set a precedence by talking about these things and addressing it as late 20s crises . To be honest I don’t even know should we even call upon it as crises , given that these are stories of late 20s of every generation . But fundamental part of this discussion is acknowledging that these pain areas exists and discussing about it shouldn’t be frowned. Moreover as I see it, with each generation late 20s is just becoming worse and if we don’t discuss this openly then God help those who are in the extremities of this phase.

A wonderful excerpt from ‘Not quite adults’ sums up this beautifully.

‘Both the demand for more education and the stutter steps that so many young people take while getting that education--and not, as some have claimed, the cost of living or even the burden of debt on young people--delay each milestone along the path to becoming an "adult." With so much hanging on this first step of education, and so many young people struggling to take it, the other milestones in adulthood are quickly delayed. This gulf is also the source of critical early missteps that will have repercussions for the rest of life’

© 2019 pranavthepp

I am often baffled by the thought how much limited resources govern the modern world.

And we need to acknowledge this with greatest possible humility.

All that it takes is just one song to bring back all the memories.

We all go through our emotional highs and lows , it is only those who don’t let these get into their heads , thrive. I have always been one of those and I hope I continue to do so. Because I effin love that part of me when it comes into play.

The most common phrase as it goes " Grass is always greener on the other side".

Slowly but steadily..

Why Finland has the best education system in the world. An excellent template on what the role of school should ideally be.

Lets talk geo politics