Life has been very hard the past few weeks. Not feeling really like myself, not knowing what’s next. All the questions and unresolved feelings. I want to just live, not have to constantly worry about work, and money, and paying my bills. Trying to claw your way out of poverty, when you’ve been taught both but to be poor. Having no support, no family, no one to rely on but myself. Sometimes it’s nice to just sit by myself and enjoy the solitude, but lately the silence has been so loud and I can’t stand to be by myself. I just wish life was more consistent and the universe didn’t take joy in fucking with humans.

Today was hard.

As I sit here fighting with someone, I can’t help but think why. I just wish that people didn’t get so overly emotional over nothing. It irritates me to my core, to think that you can say one thing meaning it a certain way and no matter how many different ways you try and explain it they act like you just did something terrible. Sometimes I feel like I’m sitting here stuck and I’ll never move out of this space that I’m in. This headspace is chaotic, jumbled, it feels like tv static’s in my brain. I just wish that everything was easy and people we not constantly overly controlled by their emotions. As I get older I feel like my care or give a fuck for the world is dying I just want to exist and be left alone. I want to be happy. I want to be happy. It’s easier said then done I guess.

Today I found a 6 leaf clover. And from everything I’ve read I now have bad luck. Well yeah me

Today is a stressful day for me. Fireworks give me panic attacks and a really bad migraine. I tried to go out but my social anxiety kicked in and had to go home. Uggg will it ever get any better? 😫

On this day I sat at home at 26 dressed in an owl onesie because I have no friends. Happy 4th everyone.

So here I sit pissed off like always. Why don’t people in other country’s understand that the USA has very strict leagal ages for things like sex. If I get told by one more person that they’re legal in their country, I’m going to scream. Us in the United States can get in trouble for even talking sexually with a minor in or out of our country. And I’m not about to go to jail so some fuck can have a little fun. Rant over

Laying here thinking about life. Wondering where I’m going and what’s next? Huh maybe porn lol probably not though.

Fuck what’s up

Internet trouble.

Well this is my first real post. I really need somewhere to vent to, so I think this will work. So trying to find anything that sparks interest is one of the hardest things I live through. I wish I was as happy and out going as some of my friends and relatives, but sadly I’m not. Well resently I have been going on a weight loss journey and am feeling really happy with myself. I live in the middle of no where so going out and trying g to find new friends or people that are more alike to me. Which given how I look is not an easy feet. So here I sit turning to the internet, I don’t know for what validation or something maybe, but I just feels like I’m still stuck alone and friendless. The worst part is that people on the internet act like they’re your friend and then boom dick pictures. It’s like you started talking to me like 4 minutes ago,why on earth would I just be dying to see your dick in that amount of time . Because trust me I don’t. I know this is all over the place and it probably reads like I’m dumb or something l, but that’s just how my brain thinks can’t keep anything straight. Anyways peace out till the next time.

staywarm:

The Velvet Underground - Pale Blue Eyes

davelotito:

Marlboro Greens.. i need a pack.