society if i rewatched riverdale but i think i need to find another person to get to watch riverdale.. ive gotten 3 people to watch it i need more

remember when cheryls lesbian witch lizzie bordon coded ancestor who was burnt at the stake stole her body and nobody even noticed cuz all that was different was she said things like perchance a bit more and called a few more people witch burning hussies who dressed like harlots but tbh that could just be regular cheryl so nobody wanted to start shit over that

whys jason older than cheryl if hes her twin i dont get what you dont understand he was born but she wasnt ready yet since she wasnt done eating their triplet in the womb so she stuck around for another two years many people do this

all the photos of cole sprouse filming lisa frankenstein looks like hes the depressed lead of a high school production of sweeney todd not having fun at the cast party

truly poetic cinema archie andrews came out of the metaphorical closet as the culmination of a decades long psychic battle of wills between one man and one company that he gained creative control over and then constructed an elaborate television show meditating on the nature of gay cinema and filled to the brim with references and intertextual engagement with the many places and faces of the decades of the glaad awards and finally in their final season when there were no more secret adopted third cousins from an obscure single publication archie comic that only existed in bob montanas basement to turn gay they rested upon their laurels and the glaad awards came to them and said thank you for your incalculable impact on the gay media landscape your name is now etched in our hallowed halls riverdale proud glaad award loser..

wow riverdale got a glaad award nom for outstanding dramatic series this year and i didnt see a peep about it her contributions to gay television history are being written in stone acknowledged by the vile gatekeepers who would spit in her face truly how the world turns... dawsons creek and glee won so riverdale season 7 could lose but they did say her name just this once so whos really laughing

rereading my old riverdale posts damn i was kind of funny unappreciated in my time but also damn riverdale was a fun era maybe i should rewatch gargoyle king are you out there i miss you

saw someone try to insult a tv show by calling it gay riverdale kill yourself riverdale is gay riverdale this is what happens when we neglect the sacred texts we leave them rotting in the obscure basements of our mind knowledge lost over time or perhaps knowledge that they refused to write down in fear of its power... one day who will be the one left laughing when the vital throngs stand outside rundown local movie palaces waiting for the midnight riverdale screenings jugehad beanies in hand then you will all know what we have been trying to tell you

riverdale if jughead was gay

jughead: anyways as the great poet martin scorcese once said

cheryl: get a life celluloid closet case

riverdale northwest passage.. archie dying a drawn out homoerotic ice based death telling his beloved buddy reggie he can eat him when he dies jughead who raved about the expedition being doomed and telling everyone to stop eating the canned food that its giving them lead poisoning but nobody believed him and left him to die because they found him annoying veronica is raising money for her save the franklin expedition charity believing her father nefariously sabotaged the boats to kill her beloved fiancee archie and to keep the ships from finding the northwest passage and ruining his plans for a massive ice breaking ray that would make boats irrelevant but also blow up london

archie dying of frostbite in the frozen north: tell my girlfriend i love her

jughead who didnt want to be on this expedition but came anyways to be a supportive friend but complained the whole time: woah man not cool is what we had nothing i told you not to eat the canned food lead poisoning is real

glee and teen wolf came home from the hospital with their beautiful bouncing baby riverdale but due to an unfortunate accident at the showtunes factory teen wolf had to raise that baby as a single parent until they found new love.. faking it the hateful step parent who did not step up sent poor little riverdale packing for homoerotic boarding school

like sometimes all a girl needs to get thru a shift is to wonder if archies gonna get crucified again in the latest episode or if they will reveal bettys serial killer genes came from her direct descent from countess elizabeth bathory causing a conflict when cheryls been lying about her elizabeth bathory familial connection and trying to start a bath bomb business with veronica on instagram posting photos of her in a blood red bathtub tagged #BATHory to try and raise money for veronicas legal defense for killing her father will jughead die of the plague etc

god i miss riverdale insane coming home from work and needing to blast my brain to smithereens and i dont even have a new episode of riverdale to watch does the cw not think of the working woman and her need for riverdale episodes to get thru the week?

god i miss riverdale insane coming home from work and needing to blast my brain to smithereens and i dont even have a new episode of riverdale to watch does the cw not think of the working woman and her need for riverdale episodes to get thru the week?

i keep my black hairdye next to my archie comics as a tribute to cole sprouse

riverdale star trek.. cheryl living on an evil robot planet surrounded by thousands of jason androids but they are all incomplete so she must kidnap archie to try and upload the real jason from her ancient computer into his mind and finally get the perfect jason copy for her evil machinations and ethical dilemmas her plan is thwarted when jughead realizes his pal archie would never turn down replicator milkshakes or beat him at chess betty keeps waking up with blood on her hands and no idea how it got there and crew members are dropping like flies they eventually realize shes been possessed by an ancient serial killer energy spirit tormenting her unconscious and is found not guilty after they give her a fear vaccine and shes unable to experience fear for three days thus starving the energy spirit out freeing her from its clutches veronica must suffer an awkward encounter with her devious ambassador father as he tries to manipulate the planetary proceedings in favor of his tainted grain infected with so horny you kill yourself virus and veronica must expose his plot to the entire council while not letting it interfere with her seeing a galaxy wide tour of hamlet the musical archie is haunted by ptsd after he commits the unforgivable faux pas of trying to share the magic of american football with a planet where sports are a crime so he is sentenced to 100 years of mind prison (with gay prison fights) and finds it difficult to become used to life on a ship once again jughead writes really long and unbearable logs gets stuck on a planet where they all worship annoying writers and finds it so unbearable he has to tell the evil computer warping the planets population to its will and making everyone talk about cardassian ulysseys to kill itself (it works)

puritan riverdale abstinence blossom accuses fear-god cooper of leading everyone towards ruin and temptation of the devil with her sinful dancing to distract from her own dabbling in witchcraft pious sin-not andrews contemplates leaving the community and becoming a quaker because he loves having friends divine-judges-head jones known as judgedhead wants to run away to boston with him the community is turned upside down when riches lodge arrives in town straight from england awaiting her preacher father accused of conspiracy against the crown