coffee shop au’s, regency au’s, fine, good, whatever. you know what your fandom really needs? a clue au. lock your six faves in a giant house and hold them to account for their canon crimes.
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King and Queen of the monsters
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Write a piece about a bakery where terrible things constantly happen
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hey not to start talking about twilight before I even get out of bed but
I’m absolutely haunted by the fact that according to the twilight wiki Carlisle was only 23 when he got vampired. that’s nothing. that’s a man only a year older than I am, with 5 fucking teenage children. what the fuck. what the hell. why did smeyer sit down to figure out who should be the wise patriarch of her vampire family and decide on “23 year old dilf”?
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okay but hear me out, demonic possession would be a really good diagnostic tool. Especially for illnesses like fibromyalgia that are hard to test for and have “subjective” symptoms (like, you can’t externally measure pain and fatigue, and someone who’s had it all their life won’t always know it’s not normal.) You just draw a nice pentagon, set up all the protective candles, and summon a demon into the patient’s body and ask them the sacred Questions Three, which are “okay Demon Todd how bad is it in there,” “where are the main places that hurt more than the last thirty humans you possessed” and “got any wisdom to share?” and then you give Todd a beer and politely excise him from this material plane and start drafting your new treatment plan.
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Rome and Germania talking about their kids
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I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.
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I hate it when fantasy writers have no sense of scale and they’ll just casually drop “ten thousand years” like that doesn’t encompass all of recorded human history
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