Today was too much. Therapy was hard. I can't stop crying now.

So I think today I'm going to start fasting. I need to lose weight, because if I lose weight my chest will get smaller. Hopefully it'll help with my dysphoria.

12.20.19

Today wasn't bad but it wasn't good either. I didn't sleep much because I got up at 330a to go to an out of town appointment with friends. I like spending time with them, but I always feel like they would have a better time without me. My anxiety seems to always get the better of me when I have to leave the house. I feel like I'm slowly becoming more goraphobic. I just wanna feel normal.

12.19.19

I have so much good going for me. So much good stuff about to happen. I just can't help feeling like I don't deserve it and that it's all gonna go up in flames. I feel so restless, but also exhausted. I just wanna disappear. I feel so lost. Nothing makes sense.