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offalgore Β· 7 months
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Glad to be back where I belong, down here with the sinners and the rain that smells like sulpher, and my apple tree with 87 different apple varieties grafted onto it!
Your side, hm? I suppose I could pop by, at your convenience. The hotel is experiencing a lull currently, so I've got free time!
βŒ– @offalgore (x) Doesn't THAT sound like an ADVENTURE! Glad to hear you're in ONE PIECE! Would've hated for that CORN MINOTAUR to have gotten you!
βŒ– HAHA! Like those little circular vacuum cleaners that roam around like DOGS? TRAGIC! Rest in PIECES to your phone! HAHAHA! Anyway! You should come over to MY SIDE sometimes!
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offalgore Β· 7 months
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βŒ– HELLO, SWEETHEART! Still lost in the corn maze? 🌽 πŸ€”
@radioconstructed
I escaped, eventually, but on completely the wrong side you see! Wound up in some silly fantasy land for a few weeks! I got told to find some silver slippers to get home, and we both know silver isn't my color in the slightest! And that's IGNORING that my shoe size runs a bit small these days!
Eventually some snake in a ridiculous blimp got me home, and what do you know, I dropped my phone somewhere along the journey and didn't bother to get a new one for the longest time. I was so attached my old one, I had to grieve. I imagine people must have the same reaction when their little pet vacuums die!
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offalgore Β· 1 year
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🌽 THIS USER IS LOST IN THE CORN MAZE.
πŸ›ŽοΈ WHERE'S THE EXIT?!
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offalgore Β· 1 year
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Offal - Nurse - - Corn Maze
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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πŸ›ŽοΈ Sure! Why not, I've always liked finger sandwiches!
πŸ“» OH! I LOVE this game.
πŸ“» LOSER eats his HAND! Cards TOO if ya NASTY! HAHAHA!
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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πŸ›ŽοΈ Cheers! I pulled a deck of cards out of an eggboi, I'll deal you in. We're playing... go fish.
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πŸ“» HOWDY, BUCKO, FRIEND OF MINE! Allow me to JOIN YA!
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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πŸ›ŽοΈ Frequency Devil pornography is acceptable, as long as I can critique their outfits on a scale of 1-10! If your costume is quality enough to amuse me, I can forgive your nonsensical gyrations! If they can keep their wigs on for the whole show, bonus points!
πŸ›ŽοΈ I don't watch pornography, so I'll leave the selection on offer up to you, as the expert in this field!
πŸ“»WONDERFUL! I will make the arrangements NECESSARY!
πŸ“» NOW THEN, FREQUENCY DEVIL PORNOGRAPHY, YAY OR NAY? I HAVE to ask because APPARENTLY some of the STATION are put OFF by pornographic depICTIONS of them!!!
πŸ“» I'm not, I think it's HILARIOUS! TRUE PASSION for the ARTS!!! If ya can't dress up as the RADIO DEMON and pull your MEAT OUT in front of a CAMERA without FEAR that he'll come AFTER YA, then ARE YA REALLY livin your AFTERLIFE to the FULLEST? HA!
πŸ“» I have LOADS (SNORT) of OTHER fun pornographic films that we MAY PARTAKE IN, FRIEND! You just LET! ME! KNOW!
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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πŸ›ŽοΈ Oh? Oh! Yes!
πŸ›ŽοΈ Apologies my fine fellow, I'd quite forgotten about your partner in life and crime! Sounds like a plan to me, whatever time works best for you then, I have no plans today!
πŸ“» DON'T WORRY MY FRIEND, where there's a will, there's an ENGINEER! HAHAHA
πŸ“» Whatever we're LACKIN, Engi'll be PACKIN!
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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πŸ›ŽοΈ You weren't kidding, @sackreligion! That's crowded!
πŸ›ŽοΈ I'd be happy to keep you company though, I don't have any cooking supplies in my house right now.
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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πŸ›ŽοΈ I hate weeding! It's the worst part of gardening, an absolutely miserable experience!
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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How would you feel if I came into your garden and started weeding?
πŸ›ŽοΈ HANG ON! I have something for this!
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πŸ›ŽοΈ I think I did that right!
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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πŸ›ŽοΈ I for one resent this accusation!
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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πŸ›ŽοΈ I've been feeding Pentious' cat while he's indisposed, and it's largely been uneventful! I show up, I feed her, I leave!
πŸ›ŽοΈ But today for some reason, I opened the fridge and she dove in like a cat on a mission! Obviously I dragged her out, and what does she have in her jaws?
πŸ›ŽοΈ A whole head of cabbage.
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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πŸ›ŽοΈ You KNOW, since I'm in an Overlord's airship and all, I got to thinking! A lot of Overlords these days seem all hat and no cattle, too busy trying to act intimidating to actually back it up!
πŸ›ŽοΈ I think it's because they keep usurping each other too quickly to set down roots and really come into themselves, and I'll make my case to the audience of this cat and anyone tuned in.
πŸ›ŽοΈ Back when I fell, there was a proper hierarchy! Experienced Overlords that knew how to network and negotiate as much as fight back! I don't remember it well (or, at all, really) mind you, but from what I hear it was quite the spectacle!
πŸ›ŽοΈ But now? All chaos, dearie! Any schmuck with good enough aim could pop your head and claim to own your turf, and the inept muscle you'd hastily hired on couldn't or wouldn't do a thing about it! It's all surface level with nothing behind it! Overlord today, nobody tomorrow!
πŸ›ŽοΈ Personally? I think that's just swell. Except when it means the local corner store gets flattened every month and I have to hoof it another six or ten blocks to stock up, or raid the hotel for my dinner!
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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πŸ›ŽοΈ I didn't wake up today expecting to get radioed in as backup in the middle of a brawl, nor did I expect to have to feed a man's cat while he was busy helping clean up half a block's worth of rubble, but here we are!
πŸ›ŽοΈ I'm laying on the floor of Pentious' airship, watching a cat eat food that looks nicer than what I put in my mouth some days!
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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@radioconstructed
#βŒ– Oh! Look at you! Aren't you a darling!#βŒ– The long hair is nice on you!
πŸ›ŽοΈ Why, thank you! The paintbrush really pulled me together, I doubt I look half as nice in person.
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offalgore Β· 2 years
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βŒ– PRIDE MONTH SPECIAL: DEBATING DIALECTICAL MATERIALISM WITH MY HIMBO HOUSEPLANT (NOT CLICKBAIT!!)
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