more adhd things

guys give me your most controversial opinion!!! :D

now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck

Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

this would have got 100k notes as a tumblr post in 2018

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

It has apparently been ten years since the time one of my professors pulled me aside to tell me I had to clean up after making out before going to class because my lipstick was everywhere and I realized "actually my tapdancing group decided we all had to dress like the Joker for our performance" was an infinitely worse explanation so I just said I was sorry

taking a class on sex this semester which has resulted in many fun things like "sex activity" and "sex final" being added to my planner. being very mature and serious about this .

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be a stressed adult male protagonist splashing water on his face in the bathroom

you guys wanna see the most accurate and blasphemous representation of the words ‘catholic shaming’?

nasa: we're going to shoot three rockets directly at the sun during the total eclipse. for study and research purposes.

me: oh cool

nasa: we have named the rockets apep. this stands for atmospheric perturbations [in the] eclipse path.

me: oh cool

nasa: apep is also the ancient egyptian deity of chaos and darkness, who ceaselessly seeks to extinguish the sun. we launch these rockets directly at the sun in the name of apep.

me: oh... cool?

"when they dig up your skelton they'll be able to tell you were born male!!1!" if they dig up my skelton they're gonna be too busy dodging energy blasts & strikes from my bone scimitar

Me: damn this situation I'm in sure isn't ideal, what am I gonna do about this

Suicidal Ideation Man who lives in my brain: perhaps I have a suggestion ☝️����

Why are gangbangs only for sex? Why can't I join in a group assassination if I want to?

humans are a subspecies of elf known for dying really quickly and being stressed the whole time