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Keith: Can you shut the fuck up already?
Lance: Excuse me?? I wasn't even talking to you!
Keith: *sighs* I pity the person that has to deal with you for the rest of their lives.
8 years later:
Lance: *smiling softly* I do.
Pastor: And do you Keith take Lance as your lawful wedded husband?
Keith: Wait—
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Keith: What are you watching?
Lance: Some Indian soap.
Keith: Those are too dramatic for me.
Several minutes later...
Keith: WHAT THE FUCK? She lost her memory? Why the fuck isn’t the guy doing anything? She’s the one who’s lost, not him! AND HE’S GOING TO MARRY THE WITCH INSTEAD?! WHAT THE FUCK!
Lance: *eating popcorn and watching Keith in amusement.* 
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Keith: *Was saved from drowning and now lying unconscious*
Lance: Keith! Shit, he isn’t breathing! I need help! *looks around*
Keiths: *Wakes up and sits up, dazedly*
Lance, who hasn’t noticed: Shit, I’ll have to give him mouth to mouth!
Keith: *lies back down*
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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Help us by spreading information
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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The team on a mission to save Lance and Shiro who are tied up with bombs attached to them and hung over a tank of acid.
Keith: Don't worry, we'll save you guys!
Hunk: Just hang on!
Lance, blank-faced: Literally what we're doing right now.
Pidge: Stop being a smartass.
Lance, dead inside: Oh no, we're going to die. Again.
Shiro, joining in just as dead inside: Whatever shall we do?
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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You can have Morpheus, I’ll take his sister, Death.
i like men who are hot in a pathetic and goth way.
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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Hunk: But how do we know which one is Keith?
Lance: There's only one way to find out!
Lance: Keith, I say Vol you say Tron! Vol?
Clone Keith: Tron!
*Lance shoots him*
Pidge: Woah, he was right!
Lance: No, he wasn't. Keith tell them what's the right answer.
Keith, looking shocked at the dead clone: 👁️👄👁️
Keith, terrified: Vol... Tron?
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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Lance: We did it, we are a good team.
Keith: *smiles softly*
Lance's heart: Fuck, we can't allow feelings to happen! What are we going to do?
Lance's Brain: There's only one thing we can do.
Lance's Brain: Induce amnesia.
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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Keith when Lance does/say something stupid: I can't believe I'm dating you.
Lance: I can't believe you're dating me either so I guess we're even.
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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Lance: I'm like the cool, ninja sharpshooter.
Keith, who had been silent the entire time.
Keith, who was brooding in the corner with a frown on his face.
Keith, who didn't interact with anyone before Lance opened his big mouth.
Keith, who smiled fondly at Lance and asked in the most fond, love-filled voice like he wasn't angry at the world before: Are you joking?
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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[Lance and Keith after they just had an argument]
Lance: It's not working you know
Keith, taking his shirt off: What's not working?
Lance: I'm still mad at you
Keith: I'm just getting ready for bed *seductively takes of his glove with his teeth*
Lance: OH MY GOD STOP
Keith, smiling: Stop what?
Lance: You do know you're sleeping on the couch tonight right?
Keith, getting closer: Sure. Will you join me?
Lance, blushing: I-
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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I love that we all agree Red loves Keith and Keith totally loves Lance, but what about the Red Lion towards Lance? Like yeah, I totally 100% agree with Red accepting Lance because of Keith but what if...
The red lion waiting patiently for it's perfect Paladin:...
Keith, with total confidence:
Keith, who was probably like, if Lance can do it so can I: Alright, let me in.
Red Lion: Who dares disturb my slumber? Wait, what is that thing?
Keith: It's me, Keeittthh, I'm your- I'm your paladin!
Red Lion: Yuck.
Blue Lion, through mental link: Accept him already!
Red Lion: Bitch, no. This thing looks weird. Why can't I have your paladin?
Green Lion: The fall of the universe will be because of you.
Red Lion: Oh look, the thing just flew out the airlock.
All of the lions: Red!
Red Lion: Ugh, fine. *Saves Keith*
Keith: Good Kitty.
Red Lion: Thin ice, mullet.
Also Red approving of Keith when he catches him checking out Lance: Same, buddy, same. You and I will get along after all.
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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Lance is the the BEST person to be sick around. He will go into “mom” mode and make you the best soup you have ever had. Need fluids? He’s got Gatorade and Powerade on hand. Need something like to eat? He had recipes after recipes. Just need to sleep? He’ll make you comfy af and you’ll wake up to medicine and water by your bed. 
(This may or may not had made Keith cry when Lance took care of him because it reminded him of a parent he never really got and we love healing our inner child)
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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I truly feel like older Keith can't leave his boyfriend alone with his brother anymore.
Shiro has definitely encouraged Lance to pull the ‘I died card’ on Keith.
Keith: Sweetheart, I'm hungry. Are you gonna cook dinner?
Lance: And I died for the universe.
Keith, sighing: Take out it is.
And Shiro would only encourage it because he does it to Curtis too.
Curtis: Takashi, the trash. It's your turn. Don't forget again.
Shiro: Sorry, I can't help forgetting things once in a while, you know being in a clone's body and all.
Curtis: You know, I don't think the black lion would mind holding your soul again as I go looking for another clone's body for you.
Shiro: ...
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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What in the trauma-
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I legit expected a movie in like 20 years... Not when I'm still 5/6 years fresh from wounds still healing...
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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Lance: Babe, can you get me the thyme?
Keith: Sure.
Keith, checks watch: It's 4:00pm.
Lance: ...
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Lance: Can you go to the corner shop and get me eggplants? I just realized I forgot to buy.
Keith: Sure.
Later.
Keith: I bought eggs and plants. Not sure which plants you wanted though...
Lance: Babe--
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Lance: Baby, I need Lettuce.
Lance: ...
Lance: That's cabbage Keith.
Keith: What's the fucking difference?
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Lance and Keith in the supermarket.
Lance: Keith, grab the broccoli.
Lance:...
Lance: Sweetie, that's cauliflower.
Keith: No, they're ghost broccoli.
Lance: I-
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Lance: I'm going to check on the kids, can you put four cups of water to boil?
Keith: Sure.
Lance, comes back from checking on the kids: KEITH, WHY ARE THERE FOURS CUPS ON THE STOVE!?
Keith: YOU SAID TO BOIL FOUR CUPS OF WATER!
Lance: Keith no-
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nothingstraighthere · 2 years
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Keith: No homo.
Lance with an Altean Broadsword:
Keith: One homo.
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