It’s kind of sad growing up and watching all your childhood friends go through a secret amount of suffering. You see it in the way their hands shake, the way they stutter, the way their eyes dart around the room, the way they mention something terrible casually... I grew up with these people and always viewed them as better, stronger versions of me, but really, we’re all just people trying to make it through. I wish I could reach out to and cradle them, tell them that I’m sorry, tell them that I remember when we were children-- innocent, loud, and unashamed. I’ll value you just as much today as I valued you then. Nothing has changed.

I hate this idea that mentally ill folk are creative geniuses; that we’re deep because we’ve been hurt/are hurting; that we must bring something to the table other than our illness, visible or not. Is it not enough to just live and be living, however I am and will be? My poetry will not be good just because I am ill; if it is good, it is good for many different reasons before it is good because I am ill. 

A Silly Way to Make Your Day Better (when everything sucks)

Dance!! Dance in your room! Dance in your pajamas! Dance, even when you don’t feel that great about yourself. Turn on the music you liked when you were 13 and jam out. Rock your head back and forth, sing as loud as you can, spin in circles... whatever! Just get your body moving and jiggle.

It’s okay to hate something once you’ve started it. Trying it and knowing you don’t like it is NOT failure; it’s growth.

Learn to be familiar with your body, especially as it changes throughout the years. Run your fingers between your toes, feel those bumps on your ears, trace the scars and pores and spots all over you... and, while you don’t have to love every single part of you, it is nice to know you and to accept you. 

Daily Reminder that you actually DON’T have to be good at the thing you’re trying, even if you’ve been doing it your whole life!!! It’s okay to completely fuck up that cake, or play the wrong notes on the piano, or miss the goal. It’s fucking fine. Have fun. Relax. This life is just a moment, so why should you take it all so seriously?

Selfcarexpress

I love them so much. 

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) | MJ & Peter Parker

How To: Sticking to a Routine AND/or Schedule

If you can, write things down but write it down somewhere you’ll actually check and see!!! It can be anything-- a journal, a sticky note you past to your laptop, a whiteboard on your fridge, etc. I use a google sheet I made and some homemade printables I paste around my home. If you like note-taking, the application Notion can be helpful as well. But it can really be anything! I know writing shit stuff down can be hard, so the more *seen* your note is, the easier it’ll be to remember. 

Prepare for your activity the night before. If you want to start making yourself breakfast in the morning, you’ll be much more inclined to do so (or it’ll just be easier to do it) if you got out all your pots, pans, and put together the ingredients in easy to reach areas the night before. 

Don’t schedule a lot of things; don’t set yourself up for failure. Routines are meant to be learned behavior, so when you’re trying to cram everything you ever wanted to do all at once, you’ll probably fail... and then you’ll be bummed with yourself... and then it’ll be harder to do the Things... etc. Try to fit 1-3 things in your day max, and keep adding to it as the week/months go on. Pace yourself! 

Similar to #3, give yourself time in between your activities. If you’re making yourself morning breakfast, wanting to hang out with friends, have work, and want to go for a run, you’ll need at least an hour (or more-- I personally need like an hour and a half) in between each activity. 

Figure out why you need a schedule or routine. Is this to help you with school? work? mental health? Purpose is so important; it’ll keep you motivated to persevere, even when you don’t want to. 

I feel like a lot of people, especially those neurodivergent, are always trying to find the perfect moment to do the Thing. While this is nice to think about, life is probably not going to work out that way. Sometimes (usually!!) it’s better to just do the Thing to the best of your abilities in the environment and situation you’re in rather than wait for that hypothetical (and imaginary) perfect moment.

For your mental health

  1. Always have something to drink, including water! This will keep you energized and aid in focus

  2. Don’t forget to take breaks. Our brains can only work for so long before getting burnt out. Taking a break, even for 5min, will help prevent severe burn-out. If you can, try to take your break outside. Fresh air feeds the soul.

  3. Ask for help or advice! Talk about what you’re learning with others! This will give you a good social break and also re-introduce ideas as well as remind you about your topic.

  4. Like having something to drink, have something to eat! Food is fuel. Snacks that have carbs/sugar will help feed your brain, aiding in study.

  5. Be kind to yourself. It’s hard enough to study and work. Even if you think you aren’t (though you probably are), tell yourself you’re doing a great job. Take deep breathes. It’ll all be okay, and everything will work out. You are capable and valid.

I read this poem the other day about letting go of grief, that one day, in a random burst of unknown, you will finally put it to sleep. It was a lovely poem, but it is wholely wrong in sentiment. Not everyone will just suddenly let go of their grief. Some grief, shame, and guilt will be buried with us even when we die. It is not a beautiful, random, lonely moment. That promise of letting grief go will not be fulfilled for all of us, nor should it be strived for. I think that is an unhealthy, false hope. We cannot just set down our pain like it is the forgotten luke-warm coffee from earlier in the day. Sometimes we must carry that coffee around still, take sips from it occasionally, and realize that we’ll never finish it no matter how many sips we take. Learning to carry that coffee while moving about our day is the only thing we should strive to achieve now, I think. Even when it spills, even when people tease us for the stains, even when bosses and teachers yell at us for bringing it into the classroom or office, we must carry it. We’ll meet other people who also have luke-warm coffees they must carry, or people that knew somebody else with a luke-warm coffee, and we’ll be met with a kindness that stays with us just as the coffee does. But we’ll not just be able to set our grief down someday and never pick it back up again. 

ColorMeHappii

Daily Reminder that you don’t always need to fix somebody else’s problems- listening is more than enough sometimes ( but that isn’t your job either btw ).

ig: womanon

"defend your thesis" why are you attacking my thesis