newheartoldsoul
this is my heart
my longings unfiltered
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after all this time
“fuck i’m so in love with you you can’t even imagine”
— (hatin)
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Block them. If you’ve been wanting to block them because being reminded of them is painful, but you don’t want to be ‘rude’? Guess what? I give you full permission. Prioritizing your health is in no way rude.
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randomly thinking about my future wife and smiling
I wonder when I'll meet her
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“you are not a bad person for having to make a change in the people you are surrounded by in order to grow into the kind, loving person you are destined to be”
— Unknown
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Actually, watching folks continue to insist that any queer relationship that isn’t explicitly and overtly romantic or sexual in media is “cowardly” is not only exhausting, but genuinely fucking infuriating.
First, queer coding is not the same as queerbaiting, and queer coding absolutely had and still has its place in all types of art, second, it’s restricting to the types of characters and stories that queer artists can create, especially queer creators who are not out, professionally or at all, and third, your conceptualization of what is queer enough is exclusionary. End of story.
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one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have.
no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation.
no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying.
no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.
no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.
a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age.
Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse.
I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships.
The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery.
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holding hands, moaning into their mouth when you come, hits different
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“All they ever write about is first love. A love that’s so spectacular and all-consuming, it stops time. A love that’s new and is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. It’s all red roses and fireworks and not being able to fall asleep at night because your heart won’t stop racing, because your mind won’t stop coming up with a new perfectly made-up scenario every other minute. It’s bright eyes and wide smiles and nervous laughter. It’s first times and excitement and feeling out of breath all the time. But isn’t it the second love we should pay more attention to, at least as much as we focus on our first, if not even more? Or to the third, or the fourth? Isn’t it the getting back up that really matters, after we lost faith in ourselves and in other people, after we thought we’d never fall in love again, never let anyone else get as close? Think about the ones who nurse their wounds on the inside, allowing them to scar over the years and emerge with new skin grown over their cuts. Think about those who hide away their softness, turn stories into secrets, those who are afraid of letting anyone see them for who they really are until they meet someone and slowly decide to throw caution to the wind. Isn’t it amazing that these people find the courage to put themselves out there again even though they’ve been torn down time and again? That they choose to tear down the walls they spent years building? This one goes out to all of you. This is for the ones who still try despite the pain, the disappointments and the bad memories they carry in their hearts.”
— second and third and fourth / n.j.
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overthinking and making scenarios in ur head and then upsetting urself 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
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it’s so attractive when someone pays attention to the little details of you
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wouldn’t it be nice to feel like
idk...
I actually matter?
because right now
I don't
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Don’t be afraid to be “too much.” Call me 5 times a day because you wanna hear my voice or something came up and you wanna tell me immediately. Text me 12 times in a row when I don’t answer fast enough. Leave me cute texts when you can’t sleep. Hold my hand. Everywhere. Sit really close to me on the couch. Keep your hand on my thigh. Always have a part of you touching a part of me. Tell me you love me every hour I don’t care I want to be smothered in love holy fuck life is too short to hold back.
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January Prompts 🎉
Word prompts to use for doodling or writing
Happy New Year
new beginnings
resolutions
cold
snow storm
midnight
hangover
celebration
hiking
paper planes
drinks
bath bomb
motivation
healthy
snow angel
goals
icicles
train ride
habits
warm soup
declutter
snow globe
priorities
ice skating
games
fresh
movie night
progress
confetti
dreams
journaling
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Things you don’t need to feel guilty about: eating, how you look, standing up for yourself, relaxing, sleeping in, taking a mental health day, saying “no.”
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You've healed too much to let a toxic person make you feel guilty for your healthy boundaries.
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my favourite quote ever
“A year from now you will wish you had started today.”
— Karen Lamb
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