I need help..but I’m too afraid to ask for it

I’m in pain and I don’t want to be. I’m trapped and if I leave something bad will happen. I want it all to be over so I can never worry again but that action will hurt too many. I just want to be happy for once in my pathetic life without feeling like a worthless piece of shit. Sometimes I dream what it would be like to be free but then it goes away when I realize what would happen because of it, I still feel like however that no one takes my pain seriously. I don’t matter to anyone, I am nothing.

I'm tired, so fucking tired. But not the tired that goes away after I sleep, not the kind of tired that ever goes away. I'm the kind of tired that sits in your bones, the kind that makes your feet feel like lead. My fingers want to scratch until they find the tired, they want to break and pull until the tired is gone but it never will be. It will always be there much like a shadow.

I’m distant but it’s not cute or mysterious; I really want to be closer to people but it’s hard

BODY I HATE THIS BODY

I’m actually proud of myself

I hate myself for letting someone have this much power over me. For letting myself fall this hard. Allowing myself to become this broken. It hurts so fucking bad and its my own fault.

Why do I feel so fucking empty all the fucking time?

Why does everyone else seem fine?

-What’s wrong with me?

I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to. Just message me or send in and ask.

The thought that I could’ve been living a happy life right now will forever haunt me. I’ve missed so many chances, there are so many memories I didn’t get to make. I didn’t get to meet so many people, couldn’t attend so many events. I have wasted so many nights overthinking and wasn’t able to fully enjoy the few happy moments I was given. There is so much potential in me I will never get to use, so many paths I’ll never be able to walk. There was a chance of me being happy and it was ripped out of my hands, right in front of my eyes.

I tell myself l'm strong. I don't need to show my painful past, no one needs to know the horror I went through. I grew up too quickly, and no one saw past my surface.

— Daul Kim, Like to Fork Myself

🤷🏼‍♀️

“Burying memories and feelings doesn’t drive them away. Pretending you never cared only plants them somewhere deep in your soul and they’ll grow until you find them ripping through you to gasp for air at 3am. It’ll be an endless cycle of stitching new patches onto yourself to fix the gaping holes until you can’t recognize yourself in the mirror and you see broken pieces of your former self lying on the ground.”

— tara love 

Why can’t I just feel happy? Why can’t I just feel beautiful? Why can’t I just be okay?