Closer (2004)

“Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.”

I’m going to be honest with you. I adore this film, but I despise two and a half of the four main characters (allow me to explain). Directed by Mike Nichols in 2004, Closer is a movie depicting the lives of two men and two women living in England, all of whom integrate themselves into each other’s world, even if reluctantly. Natalie Portman is the only redeeming character in this entire movie, in my opinion. That is not to say I think I am perfect and therefore exempt from the same kind of judgment that is placed on the three other characters for their almost uncontrollable and unhindered need to cheat on their partners (Jude Law, Clive Owen, and Julia Roberts). However, as a biased viewer, I’m going to allow myself to do the judging.

After stumbling upon Portman’s character in a cross-walk incident, Law’s character, Dan, very quickly falls for her and her verging on manic pixie dream girl persona. I mean, I wound’t go as far to say that Portman embodies this trope. But she is quite mysterious and open and I can understand how her intriguing aura would lure anyone in. She is so sincere, so real and tangible and soft, that I think her character was created this way on purpose. Her genuine and vulnerable portrayal of a young woman heartbroken yet steadfast in her own self-love completely separates her from the other characters in this movie, all of whom lead with their libido rather than their hearts. She is shameless in the way she talks about herself and her past, admitting she was a stripper back in the states and challenging anyone who might shame her for this.

After dating Portman’s character for some time, Dan meets Robert’s character, Anna, and for whatever reason, cannot stand to be away from her from that moment on, completely minimizing his current girlfriend to a girl he no longer wants, but doesn’t want anyone else to get their hands on. Clive Owen is then brought into the picture in a very comical way. You’ll have to watch in order to see how he is shamelessly lured into the already entangled mess of emotions and infidelity. Owen’s character is the one that makes me say I despise two and a half of the characters. He’s just as unfaithful to his wife, just as vile, but he is so very open and honest about it, shameless in who he is as a primal, sex-hungry man, that you’re a little less inclined to hate him. He and Portman’s character eventually cross paths as well, and the circle is complete. However, at this point, the fun (or complete downfall of humanity) has begun. 

Opening and closing the film with Damien Rice’s “The Blower’s Daughter”, I felt so much (there are even a few very subtle plot twists that will, in fact, twist your heart up in metaphorical pain and give you a nice lump in your throat…or maybe that was just me). This song starts off the whole ordeal, and then totally reels it back in for the closing scene. I think the fact that it is used as the beginning and opening song is what brought about so many emotions for me, allowing me to reevaluate everything that occurred from the very start (it’s also just a beautiful song). I am not usually one for romances, but the breaking apart, and putting back together, and breaking apart (and so on) of love, infatuation, sex, and lies is so fragile, you’re very forcibly reminded of how imperfect things can be. And in many ways, the way this movie ends might make you feel a little less alone and a little more like you have control over your own emotional and romantic fate. If anything, you’ll be delighted by the beauty of these four actors, so there’s really nothing to lose.

(Mike Nichols, Columbia Pictures, 2004)

Parasite (2019)

“Not, ‘Rich, but still nice.’ She’s nice because she’s rich! Hell, if I had all this money, I’d be nice, too!”

It’s finally time, you guys. I told you I was going to do it, and I’ve delivered. Bong Joon-ho’s 2019 OSCAR WINNING film Parasite was the gateway movie for me into South Korean cinema. It completely opened up my world to new viewing possibilities. It was just a regular fall day when I decided to start this movie, only really caring because I knew it had won the Oscar for Best Picture and from what I’d seen from clips and bits, it looked pretty wicked. I was NOT wrong. I know that there are a lot of people who were upset with this win, seeing as it is a foreign film, but that really pisses me off that the country of origin is what is stopping so many people from fully enjoying this masterpiece. But I digress.

I think my mouth was hanging open the whole time, completely in awe of the dark humor lurking throughout this strange and witty thriller, and the brilliance of the clever plot. Beforehand, I’d had the impression that this was purely a horror/thriller. I mean, it’s called Parasite and the trailer does little to bring any sort of levity into play. However, I found so much of it humorous. The way in which the Kim family manipulate their way into the Park’s home, manually carving out places for themselves by overthrowing previous employees, like the driver, the nanny, and even the tutor for the younger son! The use of deception and the way in which the Kim’s contrive their place in the Park’s home makes you question your own cleverness. The dialogue that highlights the very obvious class differences and the privileges that the Park family are not even aware of possessing is such a stark contrast. There is a lot to analyze and discuss here, but this is simply a four paragraph post, and my attention span is at about a three right now. 

Song Kang-ho makes a reappearance as the patriarch of the Kim family, having previously starred in two of Bong Joon-ho’s other films (Memories of Murder, The Host). It’s quite clear from the way in which the characters in this much poorer South Korean family interact. There is a desperation in their attempts to integrate themselves into the richer Park family, an obvious understanding of their situation and a lot of heartbreaking moments that occur when they lose their house to a massive flood and encounter instances where they are reminded very harshly of their circumstances. However, this family brings a sort of levity and comedic disposition to the film. There is a warmth to their interactions that the Park family lacks, a very clear line that is drawn for them that prevents any sort of issue to be swept out from under the rug. It’s really hard to describe, so you should go see if yourself if you haven’t already. 

There’s a lot going on in this movie. You’ve got the brilliant older sister whose clearly unimpressed attitude and sharp mind allow the family to make their first break into this new and aspiring life they hope for. You’ve got a lot of banter, a lot of incredible and peculiar scenes, slow motion shots of hot sauce packets replicating blood, peach fuzz flying in the air, “ghostly apparitions”, delicious South Korean cuisine, and a whole lot of fuckery. It’s all very surreal at times. Underneath the surface, however, lies a darkness that reels you in. Several scenes made me so uneasy, I was sure I’d have some strange, unnerving nightmares about them. Ultimately, however, the way this film wraps up gave me such satisfaction, I wasn’t expecting it. And it’s not in the way you’d assume. Go watch this right now and open up your eyes to the genius of Bong Joon-ho (if you don’t go watch his other stuff, it sounds like a personal problem to me…). 

(Bong Joon-ho, Barunson E&A, 2019)

Boyhood (2014)

“It’s like we’re being chemically rewarded for allowing ourselves to be brainwashed. How evil is that? We’re fucked.”

Not only is this film jam-packed with some killer throwback songs (including Coldplay’s “Yellow”, The Black Key’s “She’s Long Gone”, and The Flaming Lips’ “Do You Realize??), but it will also make you feel nostalgic and very (very) aware of how quickly time passes. At one moment, you’re young and running around your yard without a care in the world, and the next, you’re off to college, moving on to things much grander than the patch of grass in your front lawn you once called home. Richard Linklater’s 2014 film Boyhood covers the life of Mason, a young boy living with his single mother and older sister. Having been filmed over the course of twelve years, viewers genuinely get to watch Mason grow up and take on different stages of it life. It’s a beautiful movie and made me feel inexplicably homesick and also happily nostalgic at the same time.

What strikes me about this film is the differences between each stage of Mason’s life. While each year’s issues become less and less trivial and much more real for Mason, his understanding of his mother’s stress and his father’s carelessness gradually take on more prevalence as Mason ages. We see his sister and parents grow as well, each of them coming into their own themselves and going through their respective life obstacles. I also think it’s quite interesting that Linklater’s daughter actually plays Mason’s sister! I’m not sure how excited she was to stick to such a long conquest of a film under her dad’s direction. But it makes for some quality trivia!

There’s this one song that really stuck with me from this film; Hero by Family of the Year plays through my head every time I think of it. It fills me with warmth and fond memories as I retrace my own steps and evaluate my life in comparison to Mason’s stepping stones into young adulthood. This could possibly be because I watched this movie with some of my closest friends, something I would recommend doing in order to really bring all the feels into play. I usually try to bring some humor into these posts, but it’s hard to do that with this work of art. There’s nothing inherently devastating about this film. If anything, it is so wonderfully simple, while also being extremely effective in drawing out some emotions that you may not have accessed in quite a while.

As a viewer, you get to see the world through Mason’s eyes. As an average kid growing up in an average (if not slightly dysfunctional) American family, Mason goes through the typical phases you’d expect. He balances friendships, losing some and gaining much stronger ones, he fights with his sister and bonds with her about the absence of their father in their earlier years. He witnesses the falling apart and coming together of his mother, who puts every bit of strength she has into supporting her children, even as she commits herself to unsustainable and abusive relationships. All in all, so much is packed in here. This shouldn’t be surprising, seeing as it’s literally a twelve year film. I’d equate this movie to pulling out your old photo albums and slowly seeing yourself grow into a person. It’s an honest and genuine portrait of growth, family, and the way in which the reality of life edges it’s way into everyone’s world, even the youngest of us. 

(Richard Linklaters, IFC Productions, 2014)

Lion (2016)

“I had another family. A mother. A brother. I can still see their faces.”

I can’t lie to you. This film made me cry so hard the first time I saw it that I’m actually tearing up just now even thinking about it. And I mean this in the best way! Like, I know you probably assume from my previous posts that I am a sucker for heartbreak and sadness in film (I am not, it just so happens to be a theme in a lot of my favorites, thank you very much). But this is not the case. Lion, directed by Garth Davis in 2016, is one of the most beautiful, emotionally overpowering movies I have ever seen, and it’s a true story. I would suggest looking into the actual true story AFTER watching the movie. You don’t want any spoilers now, do ya?

The film begins with Saroo, a very young boy living in India with his mother and brother. Not only is he the most precious child you have ever seen, but his spirit is even more wonderful. On a train platform late at night, Saroo is accidentally separated from his brother, and so begins the very long journey for Saroo. 

Let me just tell you, this movie needs a trigger warning simply for the gut-wrenching turmoil you will go through watching little Saroo struggle along the streets of India, weaving in and out of different cities by himself and trying to stay alive. He encounters so many harmful situations along the way, it makes you want to reach into the screen and take him away from all the bad people in this world. However, Saroo is eventually taken in by some very helpful people who instigate Saroo’s adoption into a very wealthy and loving Australian family (enter the lovely Nicole Kidman…her motherly love with make you cry).

From this point on, I don’t want to go into too much detail. Saroo grows a lot throughout his childhood and young adulthood, obtaining a new adoptive brother in the mix who happens to be another boy from India. Their relationship is hindered by his brothers emotional issues, which is another small plot line that will make you ache for all of the children who struggle like this. However, Saroo does well for himself, and eventually begins to delve into his curiosity for where he is from, having forgotten the name of where he used to live when he was just a little boy so long ago.

I remember ugly-crying while watching this. Dev Patel gives such a vulnerable and moving performance as Saroo as a young man. I promise you, you will not come away empty and ruined from this movie watching experience. Your heart will be filled with so much, it just might overflow. The kind of emotion I experienced goes like this: my face scrunched up uncontrollably as I sobbed my eyes out, my heart ached, and I was simultaneously emotionally wrecked and completely satisfied. When I showed my mom, she genuinely had the exact same reaction. This is the perfect movie for any time you may need to cry and can’t seem to activate those tears, OR if you just want to really feel something you might not have felt in a long, long time. This film is devastating and heartwarming at the same time, and trust me, it’s the good kind of hurt. 

(Garth Davis, The Weinstein Company, 2016)

Stand By Me (1986)

“I just wish that I could go someplace where nobody knows me.”

That’s right, guys. It’s another River Phoenix power hour! After having re-watched My Own Private Idaho in the wake of starting up this blog, I realized I had to go down the River Phoenix Rabbit Hole and load up a few more of his stellar movies. That is not to say the other characters in this film don’t shine and demonstrate a youthful take on their 1950s personas! Rob Reiner created such a classic with his directorial style, execution of dialogue, and an ability to show viewers what real, hometown friendship looks like. Here’s a little fun fact: the town Castle Rock where the boys live actually inspired Rob Reiner to create a film production company by the same name. Way to go, Stephen King!

I think I’ve seen this movie enough times I could create a story board of every scene in correct order. It is such a nostalgic film (I mean, I was born ten years after this movie was created, but you catch my drift). It reminds me of the so-called good ole days where you and your friends had all the time in the world to get up to trouble. That being said, I never went on a journey to go find a dead body in the woods, let alone sit around a fire smoking cigarettes with my fellow twelve-year olds while discussing whether or not Goofy is a dog. 

The soundtrack is also excellent, making it feel even more like you’ve been taken back to a time where a group of young boys could completely ditch their lives to travel miles away and not be tracked down through their phones by their parents. Fun stuff! I feel like the best part of this movie is the dialogue. The way in which these boys talk to each other has such a range. One second, the boys will be having a trivial (yet aggressive) argument about which superhero would win in a fight or listening to Gordie tell one of his infamous fictional stories, and the next second, Chris is having a heart to heart with his best friend about how he wishes he could go someplace where nobody knows him. Touching stuff, right? The vulnerability and support shown between Gordie and Chris, illuminating a friendship that goes beyond surface level and delves deep into each boys’ individual fears and insecurities, is enough to get you a little emotional. 

I think what’s notable about this film is the way in which it illuminates the fact that young people have feelings, too. Yes, they’re silly and loud and dramatic at times, but there’s depth to so much of what they experience; Teddy, with his mentally ill and erratic father, Chris with his abusive and neglectful family, Gordie with the loss of his brother and the way his parents ignore him, and Vern, the clueless token chubby kid. Watching them interact and bicker with one another, poking fun at each other like it’s their job, is the greatest thing to witness. SO wholesome, even when Teddy is making your mom jokes. There’s so much packed into this movie, and for whatever reason, it makes me feel so cozy inside. There’s humor, great music, heart-to-hearts, and an excessive use of profanity, which is so much better when it comes from kids.

If you’re wanting a cozy night in where you can laugh, maybe tear up a bit, and feel insanely nostalgic and in need of a much simpler time, go pop this movie in (or, I guess, go find where it streams?). It will definitely be worth it. I imagine many people have already seen this eighties classic, but if not, stop what you’re  doing this very second and go watch. Do it for River! 

(Rob Reiner, Columbia Pictures, 1986)

Y Tu Mamá También (2001)

“She wondered how long she would continue to live in the memories of others.”

This movie was not what I expected it to be (although I had anticipated seeing lots of sexy dancing, road tripping, and nakedness, which was very evident in the trailer - I’m definitely not complaining). Besties Julio and Tenoch embark on an adventure to a far off beach after meeting the spontaneous and mysterious Luisa, a woman the boys are so immediately enamored with they lose all sense of rationality and take off without a trace. Throughout the movie, an all-knowing voice-over accompanies each scene, giving a more personal look into each of the character’s personal characteristics that they may not reveal outwardly. Lord knows there is a LOT the boys don’t reveal to each other. Once the journey begins as the two boys and Luisa pile into an old blue car that’s not entirely equipped to handle such a trip, many aspects of the boys’ friendship dynamic are brought into question. 

I don’t know how else to describe this movie other than very real. Each scene feels so authentic in the way the characters laugh, joke, and interact, almost as if they’re not being cued by some director (although Alfonso Cuarón would probably encourage this relaxed, natural environment) and their banter and comfort level is completely intrinsic. The cinematography highlights so much natural light casting over beaches and rocks and gravel, while also highlighting the fluorescent overhead lights that extinguish the random hole-in-the-wall motels and diners they stumble upon.

Luisa’s character, although a major conflict in the boys’ friendship, is a necessary component to Tenoch and Julio evaluating who they are to each other, how they respect and value each other, and whether or not their mutual infatuation with Luisa is a projection of something else entirely. As brash as the movie content is, with the excessive nudity and the nonchalance of sex scenes that start happening before you have time to blink, the overwhelming emotions of anger, bitterness, confusion, and betrayal play an even larger role in this movie. Everything in this movie is silly and lighthearted, until it’s not.

I will say that although I really do love this movie, it might leave you feeling a little blue. Nothing about this film spares any reprieve from the reality of the collapse and analysis of friendship, the mundanity that accompanies life at times once you grow older, and the value of feeling what you are feeling rather than shoving it down so far you end up exploding at your best friend in the middle of a shabby motel pool completely covered by fallen, aesthetic red and yellow leaves. There’s something really special about this movie that I can’t put my finger on. It makes you think about that one friend who, at some point in time, might have been your Julio or Tenoch. The big question here is who, or what, was your Luisa? 

(Alfonso Cuarón, Producciones Anhelo, 2001)

Coherence (2013)

“This whole night we've been worrying... there's some dark version of us out there somewhere. What if we're the dark version?”

Do y’all want to lose your minds? I thought so. This 2013 sci-fi directed by James Ward Byrkit is absolute chaos. Like, it most definitely gave me a headache. Would I watch it again? Maybe not. Do I wish I could wipe my memory just so I could watch it for the first time once more? Absolutely. This film was definitely low-budget, and I don’t mean that in any negative way. Taking place within one house the entire movie with no real special effects and a ton of improvisation, this movie left me mentally exhausted and one hundred percent satisfied.

When a group of friends (and ex-friends) gather together for dinner on a night where an infamous comet is to cross over Earth and cause a myriad of spooky, unknown circumstances according to the media, shit really does hit the fan very quickly. While attempting to split up and contact their neighbors to see what is causing the strange occurrences, things start to get confusing very quickly. You genuinely can’t trust anyone the entire time. Who is out to get someone else? Who is using this situation to their advantage? Who wants to do the right thing and who is an absolute jackass? You’ll soon find out. 

Like many of my posts, I can’t begin to even describe the plot. What I found most interesting about this movie is the fact that much of the dialogue was improvised. The director would give a number of cast members, sometimes only one, a cue for the direction he wanted the film to go in, and the actors surrounding that person in the scene would play off of this direction and demonstrate real-time reactions. I think improvisation should occur a lot more in movies in order to illicit genuine reactions and feelings. I feel like you can tell a lot more when an actor is actually shocked, surprised, or amused. 

For a while, I felt like this would be one of those movies where you left it utterly confused and unsatisfied. That is absolutely not the case with this wicked sci-fi. I’m not one to binge this type of movie genre, only occasionally dabbling here and there, but this one is by far one of the best. It’s not as popular as it should be! It incorporates the true human experience of action and reaction instead of just focusing on the scientific chaos at hand. Humanity is a huge theme and you incessantly question your own judgments about who you trust and who you would metaphorically side with if you happened to be in this situation. The ending will leave you slightly shocked and very excited to share. At least that was the case for me, and I am so very easily amused. But I promise, if you stick with it, you’ll be very happy that you did. 

(James Ward Byrkit, Bellanova Films, 2013)

Midsommar (2019)

“Aren’t you disturbed by what we saw?”

I told myself I wouldn’t do this film, because it is so very popular and everyone already knows about it, but you know I had to. Ari Aster’s 2019 horror film Midsommar is by far one of the eeriest and most subtly nauseating horror movies I’ve ever seen, and this is coming from someone who loves horror. For one, this movie is so beautifully aesthetic and ethereal. The bright colors contrasting with the stark white of the cult clothing is deceiving enough. This is about ritual sacrifice, murder, and most likely a white supremacist cult settled in the countryside of Sweden, so why am I so wonderfully mesmerized by the scenery and cinematography? It’s almost like the director wanted to emphasize how the cult members made it their first priority to bring about a false sense of serenity and calm to the travelers visiting their village. 

Aster does an insane job with his directing abilities. The camera work and the shots are almost dream-like, creating this atmosphere that makes you feel like you’re floating in a cloud. Or at least a cloud surrounded by a bunch of Swedish people who may or may not be making their decisions about who of the travelers is the most fitting for their upcoming ceremony. The travel-goers, all friends of a resident village member who had been studying abroad, arrive with little to no understanding of what sort of commune this is. Beginning their stay by partaking in a little shrooms adventure, the guests, unbeknownst to them, enter their worst nightmare.

Now, okay, this movie will definitely make you feel sick. Some moments are so shocking (mostly because there are no jump scares, just simple and anticlimactic moments of grotesque and violent action and dialogue), you almost want to look away. Almost. Florence Pugh, an absolute queen of an actress, performs beautifully, stunning us with that signature exaggerated puppy-dog frown and the most honest and raw display of pain and grief. Having just lost her sister and parents in a horrifying incident (yes, the beginning is the worst part in my opinion), Pugh’s character joins this journey with already too many painful emotions filling her up. Will this impact her experience at all? I wonder…

I think this is an important movie to watch for any horror-movie fanatic like me. It’s beautiful, picturesque, and absolutely horrifying. The eerie nature of this and the very vivid images of fucked up scenarios make you feel every level of anxious you can think of, and it’s AWESOME. I’m probably not selling you on this one, seeing as all I have done so far is talk about how horrifying and nasty a lot of this film is. However, if you’re in the mood for a terrifying girl-boss-ish style of movie, featuring may poles, ancient cult scripture, murder, skin masks, and a wonderful color scheme, this is the movie for you. 

(Ari Aster, A24, 2019)

Memories of Murder (2003)

(Trigger warning: mentions of rape)

“Once this dries, the stain will form the shape of the murderer’s face.”

If you’ve seen Parasite, which I will most definitely cover at some point, then you know director Bong Joon-ho (who also writes his own scripts most of the time) is a freaking genius. Memories of Murder stars Song Kang-ho, an incredibly expressive and talented actor who stars in several of Bong Joon-ho’s other directorial films. The uneasy atmosphere throughout the entire movie almost made me sick to my stomach, but in a cool way, I promise. A local police detective is summoned to work on a case involving the rape and murder of two women in the surrounding area. What is most peculiar about this case, however, is the fact that both women were wearing red, and the MO (modus operandi, or method of operation for those of you not unhealthily immersed in the true crime community) is very strange and obscure. 

So much is packed into this movie. While tracking down the killer, the detectives turn to somewhat unethical tactics, like torture and super intense interviewing. What I found most compelling about this movie is the multiple incidences of clues that the unknown murderer leaves for the detectives, even if it’s unknowingly. Is there a specific song that plays on the radio the nights where the suspect sets out for the hunt? Does the weather have something to do with it? Is there some sort of psychological reason the killer targets women wearing red? So many questions, so little time.

Now, this movie is not for the weak-stomached or the faint of heart. Much like many of the Korean movies I’ve seen over the past couple of years, this one does not hold back on the gore and the mentions and displays of bodily fluids. It’s graphic and raw and explores the depths of psychological psychopathy, assault and death, and the investigatory skills necessary for a case like this. Song Kang-ho is so expressive in his initial nonchalance over the case and into his growing compassion for finding and convicting the killer. His anger and frustration is so evident, you almost feel sorry for the guy. Some scenes leave you heartbroken, others invite you to do some piecing together yourself. Maybe I am just way too into crime related dramas, especially those made in Korea (because they clearly know what they’re doing over there when it comes to directing). 

What I think is really worth noting about Memories of Murder, besides the killer (no pun intended) scenery and natural dialogue, is the uneasiness and fearfulness you may experience while watching it. This is definitely another one that stuck with me for a while, making it all too easy to sleep with that bedside lamp on. That is not to say you shouldn’t watch it, unless you’re not good at stomaching this level of criminality and brutality. I think it’s such a profound movie, especially for one that’s centrally focused on the rise of a unknown serial killer. You’ll definitely jump a few times, maybe throw up a little here and there, possibly find yourself mourning and thinking way too hard about what could possibly be going on. Now that I’ve given you an ample amount of reason to watch it, go do that. Maybe watch with a friend, though. Might be for the best. 

(Bong Joon-ho, CJ Entertainment, 2003)

Creep/Creep II (2014/2017)

“I love wolves, because they love deeply, but they don’t know how to express it, and they’re often very violence and, quite frankly, murder things that they love, and inside of the wolf is this beautiful heart.”

Give the horror-comedy genre a chance here and go watch these two movies directed by Patrick Brice and starring the fantastic Mark Duplass. Filmed in documentary-style, Creep and Creep II follow the life of Duplass’ character who, in both films, requests a videographer to document his life for various (creepy as fuck) reasons. Much to the confusion of both videographers In their respective appearances in Creep and Creep II, Duplass’ character “Josef” attempts to demonstrate the ins and outs of his current lifestyle, happily introducing them to his alter-ego/wolf persona Peach Fuzz, taking them on adventures through the woods his cabin resides in, and showering them in what is clearly mock-sincerity in order to reel them in. However, the true horror resides in the trust these videographers seem to have in Josef as he makes them feel heard and trusted themselves. THAT is the true terrifying component of this series: what is most scary is not any monster or ghost, but a person you place your trust in. 

Now, I will admit that I did sleep with the light on after watching these two movies. They’re unnerving and eerie, almost invasive in the way that Josef intervenes into the lives of the respective videographers and makes them feel as if they have no choice but to let him into their worlds. Of course, Mark Duplass himself is charming and lovely and everything you could want in a friend or companion. That alone makes it a little less horrifying and a little bit more humorous, as many of the scenes are where you’re left thinking, “What on earth is this guy on?”  

Just when you think you know this man’s agenda, it’s totally flipped on it’s head. Due to the filming style, making it seem like you’re the one following around this madman as he delves into his antics, it’s hard to rip your eyes away from the completely ridiculous nature of this horror-comedy. I found myself cringing many times at the absurdity of Duplass’ character, wincing as he spoke melodramatically about the pitfalls of his life and the legacy he hopes to leave behind. On top of the super obvious sociopathy and narcissism is a layer of purity and what appears to be genuine care and kindness, which makes the character all the more deceiving. 

While speaking about his love for Peach Fuzz, his terrifying and totally uncalled for furry alter ego, Josef says, “I love wolves, because they love deeply, but they don’t know how to express it, and they’re often very violence and, quite frankly, murder things that they love, and inside of the wolf is this beautiful heart.” He says this with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning (it gave me chills, and not in the good way). It’s funny how insightful this quote is. Is this how Josef sees himself? Or is this how he wants you to think he sees himself? Is there a heart down in there, misunderstood and left lonely and forgotten, or is he simply a sociopathic creep who coats these unnerving sentences with a profound sense of empathy in order to lure you in? I guess you won’t know until you go watch these movies.

(Patrick Brice, Blumhouse Productions, 2014 & 2017)

What We Do In The Shadows (2014)

“I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool.”

“I think of it like this. If you're going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.”

Considering I love to laugh and pride myself on my sense of humor, I have very few comedies on my top list of movies (there’s about to be a really big “however” here). HOWEVER. Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement’s What We Do In The Shadows is genuinely one of the most brilliant mockumentary style comedies I have ever seen. A friend of mine randomly recommended this one to me a few years ago thinking I would adore it. And boy…was she right.

Set in present day New Zealand, four vampires (all from different countries and centuries) reside together in a massive old house on the outskirts of Wellington. For the purpose of filming, a mock crew has been sent to film the lives of these four vampires to learn about what they do on a daily basis. The film begins with individual interviews with each vampire, all of whom have one opinion or another about the others, followed by a roommate meeting where house chores are discussed. Apparently, dragging leftover human through the house counts as sweeping? We love to see it. 

Later in the evening, the men dress up for a night out where they are hopefully invited into clubs. Of course, there is only one club that is open to the secretive Wellington vampire community, while all of the other clubs and bouncers find it quite strange that the men insist they be invited in. 

There are encounters with what I would call vampire-wannabes begging to be turned, confrontations with the local werewolves (“What are we? Werewolves, not ‘swear’-wolves.”), vampire conversions, bloodlust, and most importantly, friendship. I don’t think I have laughed that hard and felt so enthralled in a comedy like this in a very long time. The way the film is shot as the mock crew films these guys makes you feel almost involved in what is going on. Not to mention the entirely too charming variety of accents, ranging from English, to Russian, to strong New Zealand dialects. 

I genuinely don’t know how to sum up the genius of this movie. Written by, directed by, and starring Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement, you already know this is going to be magnificent. Just imagine the brilliance of these two directors combined with such a dry and witty sense of humor, all condensed into an hour and twenty-six minutes of vampiric magic! Almost too much to think about, I know! There’s one scene where Viago, the more flamboyant of the group, dresses as the notorious vampire hunter Blade unironically for an annual costume party. That alone should be enough to get you to go check this out!

(Taika Waititi & Jemaine Clement, Madman Entertainment, 2014)

Submarine (2010)

“Jordana and I enjoyed an atavistic, glorious fortnight of lovemakin'; humiliatin' teachers and bullies in the week. I have already turned these moments into the Super-8 footage of memory.”

Accompanied by a soundtrack consisting strictly of original Alex Turner songs, Richard Ayoade’s Submarine is what I would accurately consider a quirky film. As Oliver, the teenaged protagonist hell-bent on saving his parents’ marriage and perfecting his first relationship with the strong-willed and deeply unimpressed Jordana Bevans, delves head on into the dramatics, the soft lull of Alex’s voice carries on throughout the movie and makes you feel peacefully and comfortably at home.

Oliver is no ordinary character. He very strongly and confidently believes he is, in fact, the main character of the small little seaside town in Wales he lives in. In fact, young Oliver often fantasizes about how his classmates and parents might react to his death, imagining their regret for not having cherished him enough and longing to see him again. There is aptly a scene where he envisions himself as a savior-like figure descending from above, gracing his fellow high school students with his presence and assuring them he is okay and not to worry.

This movie brings about many questions about morality, mortality, and the chaotic and stoic attempts of a teenaged boy to perfect his new relationship and his parents’ crumbling marriage. He sees the world as a place that needs saving, and his scattered attempts at holding the pieces together make for a somehow very comical storyline. Oliver is, however, most likely pretty depressed considering the way he acts and perceives the world when he’s not occupying himself with his daily tasks and attempts to win Jordana over and monitor the state of his parents’ relationship. Every shot, every subsection of the movie, unsurprisingly named by Oliver himself, consists of so many dark-toned elements and emotions, you feel like you’re actually tagging along with Oliver. The breaking of the fourth wall from time to time adds a sense of familiarity. Maybe that’s why it makes me feel so at ease.

This is genuinely one of my favorite films. It’s gloomy and melodramatic, shot at strange angles with quick camera work that convey Oliver’s frantic movements and obvious anxieties that he takes on daily. The contrasts in his mother and father’s parenting skills adds another layer of humor to the movie and makes it very clear that, although Oliver sees them as two very separate people, he is dead-set on mending what is broken in his eyes. This movie makes me want to move to Wales and live in a little seaside town with wet cobblestone pavement and conjure up my own little quirky love story. 

The best line in the movie, in my opinion, goes like this: “Every night I come to the same place and wait until the sky catches up with my mood.” Oliver is so subtly profound in his dialogue, remaining simultaneously ridiculous and relatable. This quote here has stuck with me for years since I first watched it. Now, go be like Oliver, press play, and wait for your mood to catch up with this movie. Or something like that.

(Richard Ayoade, Warp Films, 2010)

The Handmaiden (2016)

“You can even curse at me or steal things from me. But please don't lie to me. Understand?”

Stop what you’re doing right now and go watch this movie. Directed by Park Chan-wook, The Handmaiden is what I would call a “mind fuck of a movie.” It has by far the best twist-and-turn plot line that had me on the edge of my seat (mattress) from the first minute all the way through the nearly two and a half hours it runs. Prepare for a lot of reading seeing as this film includes only Japanese and Korean dialogue. However, I was so invested in the movie, which I have now watched five times, that I forgot I was using subtitles to understand what was happening. Each of the main characters possess such striking personalities that it’s hard to forget any and everyone who plays a role in the insanity that is this movie. 

Just when you think you know something, it’s completely turned on it’s head. To delve into the plot right now would be absolutely useless. This is one I would tell anyone to go into blind. I’d also like to note that the trailer for it does the perfect job of not revealing anything about what goes on, unlike many trailers that casually and stupidly tell the viewer every major point. The movie is picturesque, set in an isolated Korean mansion surrounded by every beautiful flower and tree you could imagine. The true beauty of this story, however, derives from the complexity of the two main female characters. Their histories are revealed in flashbacks that build upon the already heavy and elaborately constructed lives they live in present-day. 

It’s packed with both compelling and gentle scenes. While you are experiencing the plotting of a ruthless scam one second, you will be softly transported to a delicate bathing scene involving a thimble, a lollipop, and an evident and inexplicable connection between two women the next. Alongside the softness and the hardness, there is a powerfully erotic tone laid heavily upon the foundations of this movie. Sexuality is hugely stitched into the fabric of this film, sometimes eliciting some discomfort. The cinematography fully encompasses the full scale of emotion and elements within every scene throughout The Handmaiden, capturing the beauty of sexuality, as well as the abuse of it. 

In the words of Saturday Night Live’s Stefan, this film has EVERYTHING: independent women, a queer love story, poison, ominous trees, perverted old men, longing gazes, sex, lies, deceit, and much more. There’s not much more I can even say about this movie without revealing anything too soon. All I can truly tell you is that this movie captivated me for the entirety of it’s running time. Just when you think you know something, or someone, your entire perception is shaken and the way you thought you understood something is completely derailed. Going back and watching this for a second, and third, and fourth, and fifth time, brought my attention to even more tiny details that I missed before, all of which add a little something more to the movie.  GO WATCH THIS. You will be utterly satisfied. 

(Park Chan-wook, Moho Film, 2016)

Donnie Darko (2001)

“I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.”

I had to do it. I just had to! Richard Kelly’s Donnie Darko has been at the top of my movie list since I was seventeen. I remember the night I stumbled upon it and pressed play, mainly interested in seeing a young and dark-headed Jake Gyllenhaal (it was a phase). This movie is one of the most bizarre and intricate movies I have ever seen. It’s simple in the way that it provides any viewer with a lot to sit with and untangle. There are so many allegories I couldn’t begin to list them all. Gyllenhaal accurately represents a teenaged boy experiencing bouts of emotional troubles that leave him subdued, ambivalent, and uncomfortable. Enter Gretchen Ross.

This entire movie, ranging from the plethora of Easter eggs scattered throughout and the symbolism overflowing from start to finish, begs the audience to evaluate the deeper meaning and analyze the metaphorical line drawn between fear and love. Donnie juggles his own personal struggles with his newfound relationship with Gretchen, all while the town of Middlesex experiences strange occurrences and Donnie himself routinely engages with his friend Frank, a freakishly tall and soft-spoken bunny rabbit who tells Donnie that the end is near and he is responsible for saving the world.

There is literally no way I could even begin to explain the plot. However, I can say that the sick soundtrack for this film and the fact that Donnie calls Patrick Swayze’s character the antichrist at one point are good enough reasons to watch this movie. HOWEVER. It is deeply important that you do not watch the director’s cut. Although it contains a myriad of extra scenes that give the audience much more information about what is actually going on, the shortened version is what brings about so many important questions and sees the movie as a flowing piece, rather than being scattered with bits of information about the plot that makes it difficult to fall into the pace of the film. 

With a strong cult-following and a spectacular cast, this movie will absolutely blow your mind. Or…you may be like some of my friends who watched it once, did not understand it, and labeled it a confusing and unnecessary piece of work. I advise you to be like me, watch it once, and then run to the inter-webs to find an explanation for the ins and outs of this movie. Trust me, reading about whatever the hell this movie is really about is much more enticing and exciting than watching the director’s cut, where the music is changed, the scenes are unnecessarily excessive, and the trippy flow is completely halted. Research, or simply sitting with the uncertainty of the film, is much more fun. This was my very favorite movie for a long, long time. I’d still rank it #2 right after My Own Private Idaho, which says a LOT. So go grab some pizza, turn off the lights, get cozy, and get ready to feel completely out of the loop for nearly two hours. It’s worth it.

(Richard Kelly, Flower Films, 2001) 

My Own Private Idaho (1991)

“I mean, for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it... I love you, and... you don't pay me.”

Seeing as this is the film that inspired the name of this blog, I felt it would be necessary to begin my writing by discussing Gus Van Sant’s 1991 movie My Own Private Idaho. This film captivated me the moment I witnessed the opening scene where River Phoenix himself (rest in peace, king) stumbles along a vacant road in the Middle of Nowhere, Idaho. Mike Waters (Phoenix) makes his first appearance as a narcoleptic sex worker, drifting through life aimlessly and occasionally missing out on the goings on around him as he collapses in fits of cataplectic narcolepsy. The first lines of the film are spoken by Phoenix who, with nostalgic fascination, describes the road and tumbleweeds ahead as resembling a “fucked up face.” Based on Phoenix’s body language and facial expressions, you’d think he was evaluating an intricate and abstract work of art. Funnily enough, that’s exactly what this film is.

I’ve never encountered a movie that made me feel so heavy and introspective. There’s nothing fancy about the way Mike and his best friend and unrequited love Scott (Keanu Reeves) navigate the complexities of their lives as sex workers along the west coast. The real-life sex worker that Mike’s character is based on is actually featured in the movie as one of Mike and Scott’s fellow hustlers, along with a few other actual sex workers that Phoenix befriended in order to fully understand their lives. The Shakespearean styled dialogue that comes and goes throughout the movie creates a whimsical atmosphere that delicately coats the heavier themes within the film. As Mike and Scott begin their journey in the hopes of finding Mike’s long-lost mother, whom he envisions in his bouts of narcolepsy-induced sleep, it becomes much more clear that what Mike wants most is to find safety and love within someone else, something he has not experienced since his very dysfunctional and traumatizing childhood. And who he wants love from the most is Scott. 

One of the most intimate and delicate scenes in the film occurs one night when Mike and Scott sit by a fire they’ve made on the side of the road as they prepare to sleep before continuing their travels the next morning. Mike, clearly shy but with an impressive amount of conviction, explains to Scott that, although both of them have sex with men for money without it meaning anything, Mike loves Scott without needing to be paid. As Mike softly and quietly confesses his love to Scott, there is a warmth that sets over the scene and you can’t help but feel heartbroken in the most bittersweet way. Although the sentiments aren’t necessarily shared, Scott holds Mike close through the night, comforting him and providing the type of safety Mike has lacked for so long. River Phoenix wrote this scene himself and insisted the director put it into the movie, improvising most of the lines. SO BRILLIANT.

Without revealing too much of the plot, much of which involves some heavier themes and triggering topics, I can say with certainty that this is one of the most beautiful and poetic films I have ever seen. Although it left me feeling heavy and wrought with sadness, I’ve never felt so immersed in Mike’s story and the emotions he carried so eloquently, something not surprising coming from Phoenix. His performance is so touching and vulnerable, an incredible performance by an incredible person. It makes me fall apart every time. I may have to say that this is his best performance out of his short-lived yet impactful acting career. There’s something inherently different about this movie compared to his other films, something extra that is brought to the table. Go find a streaming service that provides you with the blessing that this movie is and prepare to cry during and after. I will say that I’ve heard this is kind of a love it or hate it movie, so I won’t judge you too hard if you despise it. It’s just my personal favorite, so I won’t be discussing with any haters.

Also, if you ever go down a River Phoenix Rabbit Hole like I do occasionally, you should check out James Franco’s My Own Private River where he compiled a mix of deleted scenes from the original movie and made it into a full feature film. I recently discovered it’s Franco’s favorite movie, and the version he pieced together incorporates so many special moments that highlight Phoenix’s natural acting talents, a deeper look into sweet friendship moments between Scott and Mike, and outtakes that add a certain beauty to the over all work. 

(Gus Van Sant, New Line Cinema, 1991)