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mvpmunchkin · 3 months
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imagine if you like bought a house and the realtor that sold you the house came by and did maintenance every couple months and it was a pretty good arrangement until one day they stopped doing maintenance and things started breaking them and you called them up and they were like 'surprise! we've decided what this house is really missing is a pool so we're going to build a whole new house for you that has a pool we are so excited about this pool' and you were like 'is this a deflection from your sexual harassment lawsuit you're involved in' and they were like 'the pool is going to be so cool!' and hung up and you didn't hear from them for years and then they called you up again and were like 'good news! we've built the new house, why don't you move in' and you were like 'oh, the one with the pool?' and they were like 'wellll yeah but we haven't actually installed the pool yet but when we do it's going to totally transform how you live in your house so you can see the value' and you were like 'i don't know i think i'll stay in this one' and they were like 'hmm yeah sorry actually you can't we're blowing the old house up with dynamite' and you were like 'what? why?' and they were like 'so that you're not split between your old house and the new one' and you were like 'um, fine' and you drove over to the new house and there was no pool or space for a pool and the realtor showed up to gave you the keys and you were like 'this house looks identical to the old one, i don't really understand why you did this' and they were like 'aha! you see, the old house had six rooms, this one has five!' and you were like 'that sounds worse, though' and they were like 'no you see with only five rooms it will be much easier to do maintenance on the house' and you were like 'but you haven't done that for months' and they were like 'yeah that was the old house which we've just blown up with explosives this is the new house' and you were like 'so how's that sexual harassment lawsuit going' and they leaped acrobnatically into their car like a trapeze artist and zoomed away and you went into the house and saw a coin slot on the bathroom door and called them and you could hear the background noise of a courtroom and they said 'yeah so you have to pay five dollars every time you use the bathroom now, it's our new monetization plan' and you were like 'well this is bullshit i feel like this house is just straight up worse' and they were like 'noo listen the pool is going to be so cool it's going to be so good we promise there'll be a diving board and a tiki bar and those water jets that give young people sexual awakenings' and you were like 'well okay' and they were like 'we've been building this pool for four years trust us it's going to be good' and then you didn't hear from them for a long long time except occasionally when they showed up to do maintenance and if you asked about the pool they just winked meaningfully and asked if you wanted to pay a $15/month fee for a bathroom pass giving you unlimited flushes and toilet paper. and this went on for a year until one day you got a voicemail 'dear resident. we're not going to build the pool lol' and you called them back like 'well what the fuck did you demolish my old house for' and they were like 'we actually gave up on the whole pool like two years ago but we did a whole announcement and it would have felt sooo awkward to walk it back' and you were like 'what the fuck have i been paying five dollars to use the toilet for over these last two years!' and they were like 'listen buddy if you don't like it you can buy the bathroom pass' and then they hung up on you . anyway that's what happened with overwatch 2
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mvpmunchkin · 8 months
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I forged true friendship on the battlefield the other day
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mvpmunchkin · 8 months
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Ramattra and Dva doodle dump
(First comic is based on a joke that Ramattra thought Dva's mech was an omnic and didn't realize a human was inside)
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mvpmunchkin · 8 months
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i’m not really keeping up with owl at all anymore but these news are genuinely making me sad, owl was such a big part of my life for a few years so seeing it now in its potential last year is just. upsetting.
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mvpmunchkin · 11 months
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2019: we're slowing down on Overwatch 1 to bring some awesome PvE content
2020: oops, covid, but all that awesome PvE stuff is internally playable right now!
2021: aaaaany day now, but don't worry, the PvE stuff is great!
2022: we're releasing Overwatch 2 now! the PvE will come later so we can make it awesome :D
2023: PvE has been cancelled
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mvpmunchkin · 1 year
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FINALLY ! SOMEONE WITH GOOD TASTE ! 
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mvpmunchkin · 1 year
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🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥
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mvpmunchkin · 2 years
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hanbin season mvp yes? yes.
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mvpmunchkin · 2 years
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mvpmunchkin · 2 years
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for those of you who dont watch owl its worth mentioning that this week the western teams playing against each other are playing in the same room about 5 feet apart and facing each other so when the camera cuts to the players after maps we can see them interacting and
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mvpmunchkin · 2 years
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mvpmunchkin · 2 years
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this is all that matters actually
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mvpmunchkin · 2 years
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POV you're the vancouver titans trying to get out of spawn
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mvpmunchkin · 2 years
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mvpmunchkin · 2 years
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genji: going on a date? again? the second time this week?
hanzo: (adjusting his tie) yes
genji: im surprised. usually on a friday night you just go out and get shitfaced like you’re living the asian frat boy experience you never could
hanzo:
genji: you’re wearing the prada. you never wear the prada.
hanzo: it’s for a good date
genji: how good can it be? i imagine you can’t afford to set your standards too high, brother
hanzo: (barely resisting the urge to make minced meat out of his brother again) he’s very sweet and smart
genji: is he.
hanzo: (shakily putting pomade in his hair) he’s got like, five phd’s.
genji: sounds like you don’t deserve him.
hanzo: (shaping his beard, barely contained anger) i assure you, i’ve told him that before already. he is quite sweet in that he insists he get to know me before he dismisses me.
genji: he will dismiss you, regardless
hanzo: you have no way of knowing that
genji: tell me who he is, and i’ll find out
hanzo:
genji: who is he?
hanzo: (gay silence)
genji: brother. who is he.
hanzo:
genji: wait. five phd’s?
hanzo:
genji, voice breaking: b-brot- h. hanzo. h. hanzo. who
hanzo: it’s winston
genji:
hanzo: the gorilla.
genji:
hanzo:
genji: w. wear the. wear the watch with the inlaid pearl. h (chokes up) he likes watch (visibly breaking down) he likes that. watches.
hanzo:
hanzo: i know.
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mvpmunchkin · 2 years
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Jecse retired..... Don't talk to me
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mvpmunchkin · 2 years
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