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mushkanjogani · 5 years

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//Disposal//

I was writing some notes with a pen. Suddenly it stopped working, owing to its level of ink. As a reflex, I put it’s cap on and aimed for the dustbin. Without even bothering to cover the mere distance of 5 steps, I threw it right from where I was sitting. Well, I aimed so bad, it fell just beside the dustbin.

That’s when I realized that when the pen worked just fine, I kept it carefully in my pouch- safe and clean. I wouldn’t hesitate to ask for its return whenever I lent it to someone. But now, without even thinking for a split second, I threw it away with such disrespect when it stopped working; when it was no longer of use to me. I lacked the decency to dispose it with respect regardless of how it had served me when it was working, when it was ‘alive’.

Isn’t that what we do with fellow human beings as well?

I am quite sure each of us have a few people or at least that one person in our lives whom we contact, well, for that matter treat real nice when we need them while ignoring them on a daily basis. We expect them to be always there for us even though we might not do the same for them. Ever. Don’t we just take them for granted and ‘dispose’ them when the job is done?

Isn’t that more than being selfish?

Immoral seems to be a meager term, don’t you think?

What should we call it then? Inhumane?

Remind yourself this the next time you are about to use that person- The way you are treating this person, someone else is doing the same to you.

I too will try to remind myself that.

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mushkanjogani · 5 years

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//The Last Time//

"Did you cry today?", I asked her.

"Nah! Uff! It's so hot today! Why are the seats so small and congested?", she grumbled while struggling to open her blazer and the window pane.

"Even now it doesn't feels like this is it, right? I mean, this is our last bus ride but it hasn't sunk in yet."

"Yeah!", she said in affirmation. "Same road, same old buildings and houses, everything's the same. Doesn't feels like the last time, at all. Years later when I'll be riding a bus and feel sleepy and realize that there's no one on whose shoulder I can sleep on, I'll remember you then.", she added and laughed.

"Yeah! Yeah! I wonder if you'll miss me or only my shoulder and tiffin."

"Oh yes! Definitely your tiffin as well.", and proceeded to take a bite from the paratha I had brought.

We talked for a while, laughed at some funny incidents and realized how humans have a tendency to laugh at those same old jokes and references. Every. Single. Day. We made some future reunion plans as well and finally decided to sleep for the "last time".

It's a well-known fact that no one can EVER get enough sleep or naps but I got to tell you, that was the shortest and one of the best 40 minutes nap I have ever had. Seemed as if we had just closed our eyes and the next moment we know, Bam! My stop's here. As though the driver, in a bid to take his revenge on us for annoying him all these years had flown us or used Doraemon's Any-where door to get rid of us. Once and for all.

As the bus approached my house I woke up slowly and quietly trying not to wake her up but my efforts went in vain. The person who sleeps like a baby and wouldn't even wake up when one of the tires of the bus burst with a loud noise, now woke up due to a sudden and slight movement of her pillow (read: my shoulder.). I got up, slung my bag over my shoulders and turned towards my nap partner. I held her hand and smiled. We could barely open our eyes and yet in that state of utter drowsiness, the realization of that being "it" struck us like a lightning bolt. The air around us felt cold and bitter. Neither of us said a word, rather all we could do was gaze at each other. I turned to leave but at that very moment she took her arms out. We hugged for the last time; wearing that uniform, in that same old school bus.

Somehow we managed to say, "Bye."

As I went towards the door, (while she resumed to sleep) I saw a teacher sitting at the very first seat. She was my Chemistry teacher, having taught me in my junior years. I bid farewell to her and as I got down she asked me,

"Did you cry today?"

In a complete state of absentmindedness and utter drowsiness I reply by saying,

"No! I didn't. I was sleeping.", assuming that she asked so owing to my red eyes.

In an instant, realizing that her question ended with the word "today" I turn back to answer correctly, but it was too late.

Because the bus was long gone.

And that's when it finally sunk in:

School's over. Forever.

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mushkanjogani · 5 years

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//FRIENDSHIP//

I have seen friendships break and I have seen broken friendships being fixed. I have seen pairs and groups of best friends, existing since nursery; the same folks, the same jokes but a different set of memories being made everyday. I have seen friendships, blossoming in a very short span of time, and the roots stronger than those who have been friends for nearly a decade now. I have seen people call each other best friend but cannot seem to stop talking ill about them behind their backs. I have seen Ego come between years of friendship, and how this evil creates a void which never reduces however much you fill it, rather widens until the two are miles apart and the only route back is to jump in it. And we all know no one has the courage to do so. Atleast, I haven't seen it. Yet.

And this girl, like any other human being, has experienced different kinds of friendship. From getting back that childhood best friend to the best friend of years turn into a stranger, she realised what this term actually means.

From having her very own "gang" to the group being deformed by distance and time; from rumours being made regarding renewing old friendships to the jealousy of and the back biting by the close ones; she learnt what friendship stands for.

From the ignorance of those claiming to be her well wishers, those hollow promises and the false assurance of their presence to the unexpected ones being actually there for her, she realized that actions speak louder than words. She realized that not quantity but the quality of time spent is what friendship is all about; that it's okay to feel more attached to someone new than that old friend who never really made her feel so comfortable or special or worthy of their efforts like this new found human did.

When she stopped putting efforts, she realized her value in the life of that person who called her "the most important person" in their life; who claimed themselves to be her "best friend" but never really proved it when the time came.

She realized that the ones who back her up, who take her stand amongst people "discussing" about her in her absence, who genuinely get worried and angry when they come to know about her misdeeds, who scold her for what she did, who motivate her and make her believe that "She Can", and who do so out of concern and love and so selflessly, are really the ones worthy of being called a friend.

And that's how she realized the real essence of this famous, age old proverb, "A friend in need, is a friend indeed."

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mushkanjogani · 5 years

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//Humanity//

I can never lose faith in Humanity. Even when at days it seems the whole world is conspiring against me, the next day reminds me that there's still some good left in this world.

The first time I traveled alone in a train, mom accompanied me to the railway station and did not leave until the train resumed its journey. You know, Mothers!🍀

My fellow passengers included a Bengali Family in the adjacent seat, a lady probably in her 50's sitting in front of me, few other families and some men, one of whom continuously kept staring at me, even when I looked at him straight in the eye. (Geez! It's annoying. Am I a statue or a peice of public attraction?)

When asked about their destination, none were going where I was. Passengers who sat near me were going to places which came before my destination. Mom adviced me to stay busy with myself and to keep talking with someone or the other through phone.

"Bye! Happy Journey!", and the journey began.

For the first half hour I kept using the phone, scrolling down the Instagram feed, trying to avoid the continous glare of the annoyingly creepy ass sitting some two seats away but unfortunately facing me. Headache made me keep my phone away in my pocket. I kept looking out of the window, trying to look past the darkness and engulfed in my own thoughts, when I was interrupted by an Uncle. He was the man of the Bengali Family.

"You are going to Tinsukia, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

"Come with me. There's a family who is going to Tinsukia. You will be left alone in this compartment after we are gone."

"Where are they?"

"In the adjacent compartment. Come, I'll take you. Here, let me take your luggage."

"Thank you, uncle."

How could I then, possibly believe that only evil prevails in this world?

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mushkanjogani · 5 years

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//GOD//

"GOD". A very profound yet debatable term.

I don't believe in the varied religious meaning of this term. Neither do I believe that it has a form or is perceptible, let alone has a gender. Hence I refer GOD as 'it'.

Mind you, I do believe in GOD. The difference being I have my own perception and understanding of this ambiguous 3 letter word.

For me IT is a feeling.

A feeling that motivates you to do good, which pulls you up and guides you towards the right path when you are feeling low or lost. When you think there's no one beside you IT provides you with warmth and makes you feel at home. IT consoles you, caresses you and gives you the strength to fight and survive, yet another day.

I call this feeling 'HOPE'.

The fuel of success and life itself.

IT helps me to move forward, to move on from trivial things. IT makes me desire for a better tomorrow, inspires me to become a better person, upon whom people might look up to. IT boosts me to cross every obstacle and survive, yet another day.

There's more to this term than you and I thought.

IT also consists of yet another feeling called 'LOVE'. The feeling which seems to rule all living beings, especially the mankind. IT dictates the decisions taken and the paths chosen by men. Driven by this feeling many wars have been fought yet many wars have been avoided. IT often plays with Life and Death. Many lives have been saved yet many deaths have been caused due to Love. For some IT is the purpose of their life, for some it is the End. Nonetheless, it helps to survive, yet another day.

Hence, I believe God is the feeling that keeps you going and helps you survive,

Yet another day.

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