DEAN: He never hit me, except for the time Sam ran away. He was always here when we needed him. He was a deadbeat. I know him better than anyone. He is as unknowable as God. He was a hero. He was an obsessed bastard. He showed me things no other sixteen year old had seen. He didn't really need me. He couldn't live without me. He turned me into a weapon. He raised me right. He put too much on my shoulders. He made me a mother. I always took his side to keep the peace. He was a master. He left me to die. He died for me. He left a hole in me. He exploited me sexually. He saved me from sexual predators. I always got the extra cookie. He kicked me out when I pissed him off. Rapist fathers remind me of him. Absent fathers remind me of him. Demanding and overbearing fathers remind me of him. Loving fathers remind me of him. I gave him everything I had. I am scared of turning into him. He brainwashed me. I loved him with everything I had. I dream about him all the time. He is my heart鈥檚 desire.
Cain by Jos茅 Saramago//@iscariotes //Spn 2x22 All Hell Breaks Loose:Part Two//Cain by Jos茅 Saramago//Spn 4x16//The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller//After Abel, Dante 脡mile//Spn 6x10 Caged Heat//The Orphan and It's Relations by Elizabeth Robinson
thinking about dean and john having a wedding ceremony in an abandoned little white church where they say some short vows swap rings with each other and then get back on the road with little fanfare