molly-knew-things
Lucien's Tarot Reading
Pavlov ⋆ She/They ⋆ 23yrs
Your run of the mill Critical Role fan.
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...it just hit me that I've been watching these Nerdy-Ass Voice Actors™️ sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons for over six years.
And what made me realise it, was the realisation that some people don't know that Liam and Sam have wives, and children with those wives, and have been happily married to their respective wives for quite some time.
The parasocial relationships are WILD after more than half a decade.
the cr cast gets SO lost in the sauce of their little inside jokes. they are crabs eight years into the pot of boiling water. so like. it is not AT ALL clear to the uninitiated viewers of that dirty laundry episode that liam and sam are not ACTUALLY married
#cr cast#also that inside joke is SO deeply entrenched in the show#that Sam has incorporated it into numerous ads#it's basically set dressing at this point
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she is Arcanist Allura Vysoren.
for a very long time, she is one of the most powerful people you know. people from all around seek her knowledge - her reputation within the lands of tal'dorei (and beyond) is unparalleled.
you look up her - she is everything you think you are not. you and your friends are a gang of wet-nosed, plucky adventurers somehow chucklefucking your way through saving the world (and willing to die to do so). she is powerful and connected, and she never stutters when speaking to a crowd.
she helps you all, when she can. it almost costs her.
sometimes when she thinks you aren't looking, you see her eyes linger on you all. something in her stare makes you pause.
she looks like she's already staring at your graves.
you are the Voice of the Tempest.
well-connected and powerful, people from all around seek your wisdom. your reputation is unparalleled.
you've already lost so many loved ones. you will lose so many more.
to you, he is no more than a child. he and his friends are a gang of wet-nosed, plucky adventurers somehow chucklefucking their way through saving the world (and willing to die to do so). you know he looks up to you.
you try to help them all, when you can. it almost costs you.
you catch yourself staring at them, when you think they aren't looking. you cannot bear to bury these ones too. not like this.
you understand now.
#critical role#critrole#bell’s hells#bells hells#cr#keyleth#keyleth cr#allura vysoren#vox machina#vm#this is just a little thing that would not leave my mind bc i cannot stop thinking about the cyclic nature of poetic cinema#and how keyleth been placed on the same pedestal as allura was in c1#critical role fanfiction#《hey... hey#puwumats#...i'm gonna beat you up fr no cap#it is TOO early for these feels
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a dimension 20 themed um actually episode where they have all the intrepid heroes on and they have to answer trivia questions about their own campaigns. brennan is trapped in a soundproofed glass box to the side banging on the walls desperately trying to answer questions but is not allowed to participate
#dimension 20#um actually#《 counter offer...#brennan is the one that came up with the questions#do he wins if the comtestants lose#and is told this#and we just hear his maniacal laughter off-screen every now and again#this in turn makes the intrepid heroes MORE determined to win#or more determined to fuck with him#everybody wins!
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And thus it starts.
Day 1: Carnival
A take on his ringmaster outfit with more sheer bodysuit energy.
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CR'S ORIGINAL PETTY BITCH WON!!!
(yes, I've been off tumblr for a minute. Nice to know that the self-sustaining trash tornado is still kicking while every other social media site seems to be further devolving from a dumpster fire to a dumpster bonfire.)
Petty Bitch Bracket
#petty bitch bracket#finals#percy de rolo#percival fredrickstein von musel de rolo iii#critical role#tlovm#the legend of vox machina
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@puwumats
So, like...
If I wasn't already trying to catch up on C3, Aabria would have just single-handedly convinced me to.
Deanna’s love language is acts of service.
No, just watch it.
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I am happy to inform you that in Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, it is in fact CANON that the entire party has a LOW INT stat.
#dungeons and dragons#dnd#dnd honor among thieves#honor among thieves#dnd movie#《 look#unless you're a wizard#INT is a dump stat anyway#*sweats in terrible stat rolls*#insert witty queue tag
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i have seen 3 different takes IN A ROW of xenk from the dnd movie OBVIOUSLY representing:
the DM's friend who wanted to bring his high level character in to play for one session
an NPC the DM realized was OP and couldn't let stay with the party
the one friend in the group whose schedule is never open, so the one time they actually make it they get to do all the coolest bits to make up for that
and none of these are wrong.
#but it's hilarious that everyone has reached different conclusions#while all feeling very assured that theirs is the right answer.#dnd movie#dungeons and dragons#honor among thieves#《 I feel so called out by those first two tags#...i'm of the first opinion#insert witty queue tag
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Bless the Dungeons and Dragons movie for having their male and female leads be best friends with zero romantic interest in each other. They're both attracted to the opposite sex and they're both unattached, and yet they don't have any interest in each other beyond being best friends who are practically siblings that raise a child together. Absolute giga-chad move from the writers.
#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd#dnd movie#《 ok but yes???#more of this please hollywood?#insert witty queue tag
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"And Edgin saw something he'd never seen in the young half-elf's face before. [...] It was as if, when his life was on the line, his back to the wall, Simon finally stopped being afraid." — The Road to Neverwinter
#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dndhat#edgin darvis#simon aumar#chris pine#justice smith#dndhatedit#《 edgin is a bard and an absolute scoundrel#but he's also known simon for years#and is also a loving father#he knows what to say#i truly friggin' LOVE#insert witty queue tag
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Holga + 🥔
#dndhatedit#dndedit#filmedit#fantasyedit#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#holga kilgore#insert witty queue tag
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DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES
Michelle Rodriguez as Holga Kilgore & Chris Pine as Edgin Darvis
#dndhatedit#dndedit#filmedit#fantasyedit#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves#dnd honor among thieves#holga kilgore#edgin darvis#《 ...can you tell that I'm in love with holga?#no?#should I be louder about it?
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DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES
2023, dir. Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Daley
#dnd honor among thieves#xenk yendar#edgin darvis#holga kilgore#《 God I wanna own a copy of this movie#the difference between lvl. 20 and lvl. 5#I don't actually know what level the actors' characters got to in their campaign#but legit
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God... fucking damnit!!! Are you actually kidding me???
People already steal fan works from each other.
People already violate fanfic author's trust by ignoring the boundaries set around their works.
And now you're going to let AI ream us too?
Fuck you.
NO. WE WON'T.
I DO NOT support AI scraping of AO3. Nor should you. Not just to be in solidarity with the WGA strike but because this is an astonishingly TONE DEAF TAKE.
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The Real Heartbreak of Beauregard Lionett
(CW: Mentions of Childhood Abuse & Gaslighting)
So, I think you can tell from the content warning what I'm about today.
I hate talking about the sad shit because the Critter Community is one of the funniest, loveliest communities that I consider myself a part of.
But, I made the mistake of going into the YouTube comments section on a particular compilation of Beau moments. So, I thought I'd scream into a megaphone at my followers and mutuals about how upset I am.
Going under the cut so you're not seeing anything you're not feeling!
Take care of yourselves, Critters, and don't forget to love each other!
youtube
I've seen too many comments in this comment section trying to excuse Thoreau's behaviour. Trying to justify that Beau being "sent" to the Cobalt Soul was the best thing for her.
I just want to make something real clear...
SHE WAS FUCKING KIDNAPPED
AND HER FATHER PAID MONEY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.
This wasn't a child acting out, who was just getting sent to a military school.
Thoreau had Beau's entire childhood to try and be a good father. He had her locked up in that house for god knows how long, he could have fucking tried.
But did he? No. The second he found out his wife was pregnant, he arranged for his young adult daughter - who was hurt and hurting, and making all the wrong decisions because of it - to be fucking abducted.
A man so obsessed with keeping what "belongs to him," ramped up to 100 with the excuse of superstition to back it,
(I know that this was his side of the bargain to the Hag, even thought he didn't know it. I acknowledge that, but that's besides the point.)
that he locked his family away and forced so many unfair expectations and restrictions on his child with none of the love and care that a child needs to thrive because she wasn't the 'young beau' he was expecting from his deal.
And people are in this comment section, in this fucking community, trying to justify his bullshit.
Matthew Mercer, the man that brought this fucker to life, has gone on record to describe his behaviours as toxic and to call him one of the 'grossest' characters he's ever portrayed.
And his lines...
And I've not—I've not been the pinnacle of a father, in the same way that you've not been the pinnacle of a daughter. I accept my responsibilities in the things that I've maybe been a bit harsh on. But look what you've become.
I regret choices I've made, and you don't think I don't hold myself responsible for…? I thought I was doing what was best for you, truly.
Textbook gaslighting.
He deflects.
Taking credit for accomplishments made by his victim.
Empty promises of self-reflection.
I won't be discussing the gaslighting further because I'm hardly an authority, and a cursory google search won't change that. But what from what I've heard of gaslighters, he fits the damn bill.
All this to say, please people, please stop trying to justify a terrible father's harmful actions toward his daughter. Paying to have the Cobalt Soul kidnap her isn't the problem. The problem is that it's just the fucked up cherry on top of an entire childhood of poor treatment.
Pain doesn't make people, it's love that makes people. The pain is inconsequential. It's love that saves them.
~ Caduceus Clay, Dinner with the Devil (2x110) from 3:22:25 through 3:23:11.
Now, go hug a loved one and do something that makes you happy to detox after this long, hard rant of mine.
Have the day you deserve. Don't forget to love each other.
#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr#cr meta#cr spoilers#thoreau lionett#cr beauregard#beauregard lionett#mighty nein#mighty nein spoilers#cr2#campaign 2#tw child abuse#tw gaslighting#gaslighting#child abuse#Youtube
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ACE SWAG BRACKET FINAL ROUND
CADUCEUS CLAY (Critical Role)
Cheerful cowman who brews tea grown from dead bodies and spent an entire bar scene nursing the first alcoholic drink he's ever had in his life. He does not like alcohol." -- anon
Canonically ace AND aro
c!TECHNOBLADE (Dream SMP)
Fervent anarchist who lives out in the wilderness with his best friend and army of pets. Famously a hater of orphans and all kinds of government.
Popularly hc’d as being in a queerplatonic relationship.
[Image ID: an edited Smash versus screen with an asexual flag background that features two characters. On the left is an official art piece of Caduceus Clay, a pink-haired fierbolg in fantastical clothing. On the right is an image of Technoblade’s minecraft skin, which resembles a pig in a crown and royal outfit. End ID.]
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He is also the perfect encapsulation of "do no harm, take no shit"
He does not throw the first punch, but if you step into the Blooming Grove be prepared to make for a lovely afternoon blend, best enjoyed during spring.
Every mother he meets, he is automatically the favourite son. Be it his God or his actual mother.
He dyes his own hair.
He buys things for his children (i.e. adventuring party) as a fun surprise. This can range from simple and sweet to life changing gifts.
His friends found out he was AroAce because he comically missed how hard a woman was flirting with him.
Almost everything this man says is quotable.
His sister made him his armour and instead of replacing it when better options came about, he simply paid the MASSIVE amount of money it takes to enchant something.
He is the dad friend.
He startled his much more heroically inclined sister into falling into a pool but suddenly and very loudly playing a bone flute behind her.
Please vote Caduceus Clay
ACE SWAG BRACKET FINAL ROUND
CADUCEUS CLAY (Critical Role)
Cheerful cowman who brews tea grown from dead bodies and spent an entire bar scene nursing the first alcoholic drink he's ever had in his life. He does not like alcohol." -- anon
Canonically ace AND aro
c!TECHNOBLADE (Dream SMP)
Fervent anarchist who lives out in the wilderness with his best friend and army of pets. Famously a hater of orphans and all kinds of government.
Popularly hc’d as being in a queerplatonic relationship.
[Image ID: an edited Smash versus screen with an asexual flag background that features two characters. On the left is an official art piece of Caduceus Clay, a pink-haired fierbolg in fantastical clothing. On the right is an image of Technoblade’s minecraft skin, which resembles a pig in a crown and royal outfit. End ID.]
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