I feel so stupid because I always give him another chance and then I end up getting hurt even more. I destroy myself every day with the hope that one day I will hear a "I love you".

Today my psychologist asked me what I think my father should do to try to fix things between the two of us. A cold realization hit me that I don't want him to do anything, I don't think he should do anything because I wouldn't be able to forgive him no matter what, it hurts me to know that everything is lost. Whatever he does, he cannot restore the light in that little girl's eyes, hope and joy. He betrayed that little girl who at that time considered him more than her father, for her he was her hero.

I was never the first option, I was the only option

I am always the first option only until someone else appears in their life. And I don't blame them, no, I blame myself because I'm never good enough.

reblog this if your page is a safe place for people in the LGBTQIA+ community. if u dont reblog this, respectfully leave my page immediately. the amount of times ive got called slurs because of my sexuality is ridiculous because we shouldn’t have to live in a world where we are judged because of who we decided to be.

thx.

Am I the only one who wants to ask for help but the only way I know how to do this is to shout? And then people think you're angry with them and they get mad at you, but you actually showed them the only gram of vulnerability you had.

Comparing someone to his abuser also makes you an abuser.

I feel that whatever I try will not do me any justice for how much I have suffered.

Man, I don't want to die. But I don't know what else I can do to stop hating myself so much.

I look back and realize how much I miss laughing and smiling. At that time I would never have imagined that at 16 I would hope to close my eyes and never wake up again.

I would like to love and not hurt the people who care about me but I don't know how. I don't know how love feels and I would have done anything to make it different, but when I look in the mirror I see a reflection of the people who made me be like that.

The most painful moment is when you look back and remember the joy and light in your eyes that you lost because of adults who didn't deserve you.

It's crazy how we live in a world where it's a privilege to have a mentally stable family.

Even after so many years with so many tears of pain because of you, the thing that hurts me the most is the fact that all I still want is to be your little girl, to kiss me on the forehead and tell me that you love me

I look at every man on the street and think about what life would have been like if he were my father, not you, the man who hated me as much as I loved him.

No, I don't hate him, I hate myself because I feel like I've never been good enough, I hate myself because I feel like I've deserved every drop of abuse I've been through.

It's amazing how people think you're always upset because you're fussy and ignorant when in fact you're so devastated and terrified of people and the pain they can give you that you don't know how to react otherwise.