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I didn’t mean it baby -Steven Grant X Reader

NOTES: SPOILERS MOONKNIGHT EP 5, CHARACTER DEATH.

Y’all. I haven't written ANYTHING since 2019 and this episode brought me back for a singular One-Shot. I really have missed writing for y’all and if this does will I’ll continue for the Summer. This one shot is based off The One’s I Love by Olivia Rodrigo (the bridge specifically) . Anyone else as devastated as I am? Also please use your suspension of disbelief idk how y/n got there, y/n does a lot of things I can’t explain. Also y’all I started a BookTok called Ellie_ExLibris please go follow for Book Content! Also extra brownie points if y'all see the other song references in here. Enjoy!

WORD COUNT: 2355

Fluff, Trauma, Character death and angst, reader uses the pronouns She/Her

PLOT: You have managed to get trapped in the asylum between life and death with Marc and Steven after getting killed by Harrow. After discovering Steven was entirely made up by Marc you have to come to terms with the fact that he isn’t truly real but he is a trauma response. All you want to do is talk with him but how could there be time for that now?

“I’ve never seen the gates to the world above so close” Taweret said in disbelief, looking out on a sea of sand, rolling waves of hot air and the dead. The gate stood tall towering over the ship Steven, Marc and Y/n swayed on.

“How do we open them?” Marc asked

“I’m so sorry, your scales never balanced” Taweret said griefstrikenly as she turned her eyes from the gate, Marc and Steven flashed their eyes to the scale that sat at the center of the deck it’s black marbling and gold beaming as if even in this dark place there had been a spotlight placed on it. “Our journey’s come to an end, I cannot stop the inevitable” said the goddess “I was really rooting for you guys but the unbalanced souls of the Duat must claim yours” she sighed, bracing herself to leave. The scale wavered back and forth and Y/n’s eyes widened in shock. ‘Our Journey’s come to an end?’ she thought. We’ve only just started? The ship creaked and tilted moving faster towards the gate.

“Taweret! Wait!” Y/n called, her eyes searching for the goddess but she had already gone, “Taweret!” she yelled as a hand came over the side of the boat, grasping and climbing and pulling itself on board,

“Marc… Y/n… they don’t look very friendly” Steven said, taking steps backwards toward the head of the ship, his eyes frantic as the dead appeared all around him.

“Hide.” Marc commanded them both, Y/n hesitated turning to glance at him, if she could just get a read on him she may see the outcome of this situation. Marc looked nervous but he was ready for a fight. “Hide!” he repeated looking at her directly in the eyes. Her heart wavered for a moment and his fear struck her deeply, she knew this wasn't going to end well. She drug her eyes straight back to the fraying wooden planks of the locked door and she pulled with all her might.

Y/n pulled on the door they had only come through moments ago but it seemed to have completely locked the trio out. She yanked and yelled in frustration “Steven! Marc, help me!” She had turned to see both men, well, one man, both looking completely terrified as the dead came on board and for a moment Y/n caught his eyes, it was brief but there were plenty of words trapped behind them that would have to wait.

⇻

“I can’t wait to tell my mum about you” he said as the two walked on the cold wet London pavement, coming back from a night out on the West End, eating dinner and watching a show. This was the third of many future dates to come. She had met Steven on the bus after he had accidentally fallen asleep on a particularly aggressive man, she pretended he was her husband that had narcolepsy, and saved him from a potentially very nasty fight.

“Oh really? Your Mum? I’ve never had a boy talk about me to his mum before” She laughed trailing slightly behind him.

“Really? Never?” he said in laughable disbelief

“I can’t tell if you are being sarcastic right now Mr.Grant”

“Oh no, I would never. I’m just shocked, if I were any boy you’ve ever been on a date with I just don’t understand how they couldn't talk about you to everyone they meet for eternity” he laughed sheepishly while twiddling with the bag that carried both of their leftovers. She stood there for a moment just taking in the sight and letting the compliment just seep into her bones. He was there underneath a streetlamp on the glazing street wet with light rain that illuminated his face, the chill in the air making his nose slightly pink. Not even two feet away she stood taking in the look and the feeling that is Steven Grant. He. He who felt inevitable and real.

I didn’t mean it baby, I didn’t think it all through

⇻

“Gabon, New York, Dubai..” Marc said witnessing the lives he took face to face as a mercenary.

“Watch out!” Steven cried. One of the creatures swung a rope around Marcs neck as Steven was becoming cornered

“No!” screeched Y/n as she watched Marc slowly being dragged toward the hull of the ship by his neck, Marc swung his arms beating the man, no, the thing that was coming at him. The man became sand the more Marc hit him, he wasn't truly physical. “Marc!” Y/n yelled as her eyes widened, she frantically started looking for something, anything, to beat these creatures with, “Steven! Do something!” Steven was at the rudder of the ship in pure shock, his eyes darted between Y/n and Marc.

“Taweret!” he shouted to no response, the goddesses ears had fallen deaf. “Hold on Y/n!” he shouted and she braced herself realizing his plan. Steven pulled the rudder with everything he had in him to tilt the ship. Slowly and then all at once the ship jerked and Marc was thrown towards the center, Y/n clung to the railing and as she started to adjust her grip she felt grainy cold hands slip around her waist.

“No!” she croaked as a hand slipped around her neck, everything suddenly moved in slow motion, her chest became tight but not because she didn’t have air, it’s cold dead hands were taking everything warm from her body. She felt her skin raise up and her extremities start to go numb. “Steven-” she choked. Her eyes searched the deck and Marc was trying to catch his balance after almost being thrown overboard and when he stood his jaw was met with the body of a baseball bat. Steven clasped a hand over his mouth, his eyes trained on Marc, meanwhile he hadn’t heard Y/n’s distress calls. Marc was now being dragged to the ledge of the ship once again.

“Marc… you’ve got this.” Steven whispered to himself “But… if I’m you then that means I’ve got this too” he said going for the bat that now lays on the ground. Y/n’s breathing now slowed, her heartbeat seizing to the cold and the soft rock of the boat seemed to be lulling her she was still standing but she could not will herself to move,, she could hear Steven shouting, and through the blurriness of her vision she saw two of the creatures dissipate before Marc.

“Six!” he exclaimed, “I’m coming for you Y/n!” and Steven started swinging and shouting as if it was his first American Little league game. “I’ve always much preferred cricket!” he shouted adrenaline pumping. Y/n suddenly felt sweet relief as if she could breathe again, like the tight hand that had been around her, squeezing her had disappeared. She gasped and fell to her knees coughing and fighting to breathe. When she looked up Steven had fallen down and was now face to face with her.

“Are you alright?” he asked gently cupping her face in his hands, she nodded vigorously.

“I was so cold” she said, a shiver traveling up her spine “Steven I was so cold, it’s like I wasn’t here” she said her voice trembling. Despite her bravery, she had never experienced fear like this, it was true and utter despair.

“It’s okay Love, everythings fine now, yeah? I promise” he said, and just as he finished making promises that will fail he watched as panic spread across her face and she began to yell.

⇻

“You know as a gift shopist, I can’t exactly give you a life of plenty” he said pacing his room. The last few days had been a lot for him, one of Y/n’s friends had gotten engaged and had thrown an extravagant party and Y/n looked like she was on top of the world and a wave of guilt had crashed over him, what if he couldn't provide the life she wants? “I can’t promise an easy road, or safety, I’m sick, I’m weird, I wake up days later and lost” he ranted chewing on his fingers dragging the sand laid around his bed across his floor. “I don't even have a ring for your finger, I don't regularly grocery shop, bloody hell my entire apartment is just garbage collected junk” she watched him intently as he paced his room. She knew about his ‘Illness’ and Marc, Marc had agreed to stay away from her, he promised Steven that he would try to make their relationship relatively normal. She had met Marc, once. Marc had surfaced during Steven and Y/n’s first argument. It was brief and it was just for a second but she knew it was him. He had raised his voice at her which Steven would never do. She had kept asking when she was allowed to meet his mom and when they could have her over and Steven seemed to be becoming more confused and distressed. Marc finally surfaced and yelled “Stop asking him about his mom!” and that was all it took. Y/n never brought up Steven’s mom again.

I didn’t mean it baby, always ruin good things like you

She now watched the gift shopist pace the splintered floor of his bedroom as she sat criss cross applesauce on the end of his bed. She took a breath and leaned forward “Steven, I don’t want you to promise me a fair sky above or a kind road below. I just ask that you walk beside me my love. Anyway the wind blows, just be with me” she said outstretching her hand. If there was anything he could love more about this woman it’s that she wears her heart on her sleeve for all to see. “Steven, I love you. All of you” she said looking deeply into his eyes. He left out a deep sigh and he took her hand, he brought it to his lips and he gently kissed it.

“I love you too. I promise to stay with you. Anyway the wind blows” he said, kneeling at the foot of his bed in front of her.

“Anyway the wind blows” she repeated.

⇻

Another one of the creatures had come up behind Steven and it towered over the two of them but Steven retrieved the bat from where he had set it down and he began to ferociously swing it repeatedly, he didn’t stop even after he was sure it was dead. Y/n was still on her knees with her hand clasped over her mouth in shock as she watched the love of her life go absolutely feral in killing a monster. He took a deep breath and stood back shaking his hand. “Ow” he said and then gave Y/n and Marc a thumbs up. Marc began to laugh and Y/n felt a sigh of relief break through her lungs. Suddenly a horrid screech pierced through the air and a creature grabbed Marc by his neck pulling him down and over the ledge.

“No! No!” Steven screamed as he ran for Marc.

“Steven!” Y/n cried and for a brief moment his gaze met hers, his feet were still moving, his arms were outstretched and his decision had been made and there was nothing she could do to stop it now.

Steven went directly overboard taking the creature with him

“No!” Y/n screamed “Stop the boat!” she yelled to no one.

“Steven!” Marc yelled, he cried Steven’s name over and over his voice straining, Y/n pulling her tired limbs up, still feeling the after effect of whatever that creature did to her, she threw herself against the side of the ship to look over the ledge. There Steven lay coming to his senses only to see a distant ship with his best friend and the woman he loves onboard.

“Wait- Wait!” he cried pulling himself up, his footsteps becoming heavier with every step.

“Stop the ship! He’s coming! Please!” Y/n cried to no one.

“Stop the boat!” Marc said, slamming his fists on the hull to alert anyone that was listening.

“Wait!” Stephen cried, his voice becoming weaker “Wait!” his steps becoming stiffer the more he moved “No!” he sobbed his feet were becoming stone. He was unworthy, he couldn’t pass through the field of reeds. “No no no” he cried. The same coldness, the same nothingness overtook his body while Y/n and Marc watched completely helpless. “Marc!” he yelled, his face becoming stone, his breathing became labored and with one last push he let out a cry “Y/n!” his face suddenly became still.

I watched the light drain out of your eyes and it’s no surprise. It’s no surprise.

“Stop the boat please” Y/n begged, clutching the side of the ship. Taweret suddenly reappeared and she left out a gasp.

“Your scales.. They are balanced” she said in shock.

The ground becomes soft and golden. Y/n and Marc had found themselves in the field of reeds and without their person. Their hope.

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