show, don't tell:
anticipation
- bouncing legs
- darting eyes
- breathing deeply
- useless / mindless tasks
- eyes on the clock
- checking and re-checking
frustration
- grumbling
- heavy footsteps
- hot flush
- narrowed eyes
- pointing fingers
- pacing / stomping
sadness
- eyes filling up with tears
- blinking quickly
- hiccuped breaths
- face turned away
- red / burning cheeks
- short sentences with gulps
happiness
- smiling / cheeks hurting
- animated
- chest hurts from laughing
- rapid movements
- eye contact
- quick speaking
boredom
- complaining
- sighing
- grumbling
- pacing
- leg bouncing
- picking at nails
fear
- quick heartbeat
- shaking / clammy hands
- pinching self
- tuck away
- closing eyes
- clenched hands
disappointment
- no eye contact
- hard swallow
- clenched hands
- tears, occasionally
- mhm-hmm
tiredness
- spacing out
- eyes closing
- nodding head absently
- long sighs
- no eye contact
- grim smile
confidence
- prolonged eye contact
- appreciates instead of apologizing
- active listening
- shoulders back
- micro reactions
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JAMIE AND CLAIRE FRASER
OUTLANDER | 6x04 “Hour of the Wolf”
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One of the best tips for writing descriptions of pain is actually a snippet I remember from a story where a character is given a host of colored pencils and asked to draw an egg.
The character says that there’s no white pencil. But you don’t need a white pencil to draw a white egg. We already know the egg is white. What we need to draw is the luminance of the yellow lamp and the reflection of the blue cloth and the shadows and the shading.
We know a broken bone hurts. We know a knife wound hurts. We know grief hurts. Show us what else it does.
You don’t need to describe the character in pain. You need to describe how the pain affects the character - how they’re unable to move, how they’re sweating, how they’re cold, how their muscles ache and their fingers tremble and their eyes prickle.
Draw around the egg. Write around the pain. And we will all be able to see the finished product.
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I don’t belong here,” I said softly…But we are here, all of us. And we’re here because I loved you, more than the life that was mine.
~ A Breath Of Snow And Ashes, Diana Gabaldon
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Staged pics and insignificant ppl could never take away that he loves her and only her. The man literally dedicates almost everything he does(whiskey, book, tartan, MIK, etc)with her in the forefront of his mind.
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