mavbear
mavbear
| poetry, rants and i like to talk about my crushes a lot |
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new problem: i like a guy that has a gf but i don’t want to like him cause he has a gf
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the joy felt when realizing my dad got me sweet tea unprompted.
only to realized after the ice melted and the drink got warm.
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the 4th
i hate being the youngest.
the oldest is away in her apartment doing who knows what. the other is at her own house with her boyfriend, soon to be husband. and they’re both about 10 years older than me and we don’t talk too much.
my brothers, 18, only 2 yrs older than me. however, tonight he’s in another state with people i’ve meet only a few times. in less than a few months, he’ll still be in another state but for college.
my mom and dad are arguing. so only one of them go to see fireworks with me.
and as i sit, curled up in the front seat, i want to cry. i don’t want to continue spending the holidays like this. i don’t want them to feel so lonely and unreal. i want this to be a family thing. they all had those experiences of being together and yea i might have been there too but i was too young to remember. too young to bask in the feeling.
it’s only going to continue, christmas will become quiet, easter will be quick n over, and the 4th will just be another day off.
i want to sit on top of our car with both my sisters and my brother on our old blankets, shoe untied. i want mom and dad to be there n in charge of the music. i want to feel a little too warm while swatting away bugs but still laughing with everyone. i want to watch the fireworks.
i wish they didn’t leave me so behind.
#mavbear rants#poetry#my poems#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#original poem#mini poem#poemsbyme#???? idk#poem#4th of july#the 4th#youngest#youngest in family#family poem#im alone
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i just realized i haven’t thought of ending myself recently. i’m not healthy but i am healing.
#mavbear rants#my poems#original poem#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#mini poem#poemsbyme#???? idk
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my worst nightmare to date.
i loved the sims 3, especially in 5th grade. i would play every night the second i finished my work. the couch was my home. and my mom would sit in the room with me and watch tv. around 5 she’d start to make dinner.
i was still playing.
she’d ask what i want, mostly salads at the time. with dinner soon ready i’d still be playing, not wanting to move. my siblings would give me shit for this. i deserved some of it. but i’d tell my mom that i don’t care.
my builds weren’t great, they were too big with not enough in them. lacking character and rather boxy.
And that’s where it happened. i was trapped in a giant house with all my family members either ignoring me or condemning me. i felt like i was burning, that the room was burning, i watched as my own mother walked away. i felt tears run down my face. panicking.
i woke up panicked, tears already down my cheeks. i had cried in my sleep. looking back this might have been my first attack.
i still play the sims but now the homes are small with more walls to divide up the space.
#poetry#mavbear rants#my poems#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#???? idk#sims#poetic prose#prose poem
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may: be realistic. being delusional(and living life) gets you everywhere.
i know my friend needs to hear this…
#mavbear rants#poetry#my poems#original poem#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#mini poem#poemsbyme#poem#???? idk
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guys like skinny girls until they breathe in too deep and every rib is visible with a perfect outline made of stretched skin.
they don’t want to see that your heart is protected, that there is something physically preventing them from hurting you.
#mavbear rants#poetry#my poems#original poem#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#mini poem#poemsbyme#poem#???? idk
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to think that the gods actual envy us.
any moment everything can be taken away.
what was once beautiful will die.
they who brought you joy leave forever.
the feeling of happiness no longer feeling the same.
why would the gods envy us?
we’re doomed
#mavbear rants#poetry#my poems#original poem#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#mini poem#poemsbyme#poem#???? idk#poets corner#poets#my poem
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Stories are told by the scratches and pictures that adorn her skin. The headphones atop the case stay silent and asleep. She changes clothes with every vinyl that is played. Their sleeves reflected modern and retro trends as if it were a teen girl wanting to find herself.
However, they sit without playing, collecting dust like you would pennys. Just like the player itself, who would want to befriend such measly things?
The record player pouts as if she is in protest of not being used.
But what are you to do? She simply doesn't fit in with the rest of you. Just leave her to watch as you play a song off your speaker. And there’s no need to tell her about it cause she already knows. Your love for the record player will soon die since three makes a crowd.
#mavbear rants#poetry#my poems#original poem#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#mini poem#poemsbyme#poem#???? idk#poets corner#poets#mini ramble#rambles#idk lol#my poem#small rant#mini rant#idk man
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A room filled to the brim with knick knacks that outshine the player. The needle crunches its words and hisses through the silence. A tune like a stuttering child. How could anyone even glance at such a measly, overpriced sight?
No one pays $24.99 for a ten year old vinyl that sounds as if its a kindergartner playing on a cat piano.
#poetry#mavbear rants#my poems#original poem#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#mini poem#poemsbyme#poem#poets corner#???? idk#poets#idk lol#my poem#idk man#rambles#mini ramble
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i share the same judgement as my father
sometimes targeted at the car next to us
or the bad play on tv
but mostly towards my mother
i didn’t want this
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“the plants are already dead”
but don’t they need water
i don’t want them to feel abandoned
#poetry#my poems#original poem#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#mini poem#poemsbyme#poem#???? idk#mavbear rants#poets corner#poets#idk lol#my poem
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i told most of my friends that i like this guy, 3 too many of them gave into the delulu
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i have this little thing where i don’t develop cruches/like on guys anymore but i still think they are really cute, hot even
and my god do i think so many of these guys our cute, the list is fairly long
but because of that i don’t want to talk to people about it and it seems like the only thing i want to talk about
like no, not really, there’s just a lot to say even when just trying to say the bare minimum
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yet again my stomach aches, it’s pulling and stretching as air tries to reach my lungs.
refusing to reach the bottom, the breathes are shallow, similar to the tide.
it’s becoming harder to take in and no longer satisfying.
even after an enduring run
just one breathe, please, just please meet my lungs and fill them completely.
fill them entirely like the love one hopes to receive
#mavbear rants#poetry#my poems#original poem#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#mini poem#poemsbyme#poem#???? idk#poets corner#poets#mini ramble#rambles#idk lol#my poem
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i like guys attention
it makes me want to take care of myself
#mavbear rants#poetry#my poems#original poem#poems on tumblr#dead poets society#mini poem#poemsbyme#poem#???? idk#poets corner#poets#mini ramble#rambles#small rant#idk lol#love poem#mini rant#my poem#idk man
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