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mattgrowler · 4 months
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i will never understand why more people in their 80s don't commit felonies. you reach that age and surely there's something illegal you always wanted to do but didn't bc Consequences
dammit, GO FORTH GRANNIES!!! rob an armored car! hold up that bank! tunnel your way into fort knox! what are they gonna do, sentence you to 20 years? good fuckin luck with that
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mattgrowler · 4 months
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The bisexual to aroace pipeline is pretty much having the right idea and coming to the wrong conclusion. Yeah buddy you're not straight and you're also not gay. No not like that though, the other way around
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mattgrowler · 4 months
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"smart appliances" fuck u i want them dumb as a brick and incidentally as sturdy and enduring
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mattgrowler · 4 months
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mattgrowler · 7 months
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the lights at costco are bright enough to replace the sun. we no longer need our own sun.
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mattgrowler · 9 months
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Everyone's heights for the hell's belles au! (And a sneak peek for Logan and Patton's character designs ;)) )
The top height is them with their shoes, bottom height is their actual heights. Roman is shorter than Remus and that infuriates him greatly.
@twoalpacas @awitchbravestheverge @goldnskyart @anxious-mess19 @doteddestroyer
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mattgrowler · 10 months
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Now I would appreciate a fic where Anakin Skywalker just kills Palpatine on accident. I was watching revenge of the sith and through the whole sequence of Obi-wan and Anakin saving Palpatine from the ship I was thinking: “Anakin is waving his damn sabre EVERYWHERE it’s a miracle he hasn’t hit something on accident” and then bam: idea.
In Anakin’s defence there’s a LOT going on so like it’s not his FAULT that he wasn’t looking where he was slicing and the next thing he knows Palpatine’s head is no longer on his shoulders but rolling down some flight of stairs and Anakin just sort of,, pees himself a little.
“Oh. Shit.”
A whole mile away Mace Windu is sitting in his quarters and suddenly the migraine in the back of his head disappears and he’s like “whoa.” And then jokingly is like “who had to be sacrificed for that damn ache to finally go away.” Turns out!
Obi-wan, through a holo-call, (with Anakin skywalker furiously sobbing and heaving through snot and coughs in the background): hey so, we should look into getting Skywalker some ADHD medication.
The Jedi council: why? What has happened?
Obi-Wan: just a little loss of focus, it happens to the best of us.
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mattgrowler · 2 years
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mattgrowler · 2 years
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mattgrowler · 2 years
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
There are a lot of things that can make you sweat more: exercise, heat, fever, stress, anxiety, spicy food, pregnancy, and certain health conditions... but body hair doesn't belong on that list!
"You need to shave to prevent sweating" or "If you don't shave, you smell" is simply not true: Sweat is produced by sweat glands. Shaving does not change anything about your sweat glands!
Fresh sweat is actually odorless. It's 99% water. The thing that causes body odor is not the sweat itself. It's the bacteria that feed on it. This is why showering and applying deodorant can prevent body odor even though it doesn't stop you from sweating. (And on a side note: Sweating is a natural, life-saving function! It cools down your body and prevents you from overheating.)
Another thing to think about: If "If you don't shave, you smell" was true, it would be true for people of all genders - and yet there are plenty of cis men who do not shave their own body hair and still say this to women (or people they read as women).
Now you may read all this and think "That's neat but I still feel like I sweat more if I don't shave"." This can very well be true! But the key word ís feel - You don't actually produce more sweat but long hair can trap moisture, so some people can feel more sweaty when they don't shave. And if this feeling is uncomfortable for you, that's absolutely something shaving can help with!
Shaving is a personal decision.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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mattgrowler · 2 years
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mattgrowler · 2 years
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
I've been really into Stray Kids (the band) lately. I am listening to their songs a lot and have watched many of their music videos, performances etc. - so many that my Youtube recommendations are 100% Stray Kids-related now. If you wonder why I am telling you this, it's because I decided to turn this blog into a K-Pop Stan account.
Gender stuff is important but I'm just much more passionate about Lee Felix's deep voice right now and I hope we can embark on this new journey together... and yes, I am obviously kidding about this.
The real reason is that he got me thinking about gender stuff.
More specifically, my Youtube recommendations did. They show me a lot of fan-made videos - and a surprising amount of them center around physical touch. "10 minutes of Stray Kids being cuddlebugs", "7 minutes of Stray Kids kissing each other", things like that.
You may think "Oh, cute" or "Yikes, problematic" right now. When I look into the comments of such videos, the latter one seems to be the reaction of many people - and they have good points. It's easy to forget that band members are actual people who are co-workers in real life and that a high "fan demand" of physical contact between them may put real pressure with real consequences on them. There is also the obvious issue of ignoring cultural differences and pushing American standards on them (regarding how much and which kinds of touch are "normal" etc.).
With all that said: those videos are evidently very popular - and I don't think it's fair to dismiss it as nothing but voyeuristic stalker behavior. Their popularity is a sign that it fulfills some kind of need. Next to the comments calling these videos out, there are also plenty of people talking about how warm and happy and calm these videos make them feel. And honestly, after watching a few myself, I do see the appeal. Watching them be openly affectionate with each other is a feel-good thing - and a big part of that is probably that they are all men.
The cultural differences come in play there. The unspoken rule in my country seems to be that men do not touch each other unless it's in either a violent or an explicitly sexual context. Male friends don't hold hands or kiss or cuddle or play with each other's hair. Platonic touch between men just isn't a thing. And I am not even American - I believe it's even worse over there.
It's easy to shrug your shoulder now and think "Nobody is stopping men but their own homophobia." and yes, there are obviously the Aggressively Heterosexual Dudes™ who would rather die than have their male friend perform CPR on them because that's too gay for them - but it's oversimplifying it to say that this is the only issue. Deeply ingrained cultural structures just aren't that easy to break on an individual level, not even for men who are far from aggressively heterosexual (or far from heterosexual at all), even though society as a whole would benefit from it.
We were made for a gentle touch. That sounds unnecessarily poetic but it's true. It's one of the main ways human beings communicate. Just think about babies. You could provide them with plenty of the most nourishing food and buy them the most expensive stuff - if nobody ever touches them gently, they are not gonna grow up healthy. It may be a myth that everyone needs 8 hugs a day, individual people have individual needs, but touch is a basic human need.
And yet, society tells us to rely on one person alone to fulfill that need: a romantic partner. Being in a relationship is one of the only "acceptable" ways to fulfill it, especially for men. The possibility of a hug leading to sex somehow makes it a masculine thing. According to the unspoken cultural rules, men can even touch each other... as long as they touch to f*ck.
And that brings us back to the duality of those Stray Kids videos: If you watch a video like that and it has no commentary within itself, no fixed message on how you are supposed to interpret it, if it's genuinely just a compilation of men kissing and hugging and holding hands - how do you interpret it? Which cultural rules influence your interpretation? And if people can interpret it in ways that play directly into toxic cultural structures, does that mean these videos are merely an extension of those toxic rules - or could they be a welcome antidote? A safe space for people to experience and explore platonic male intimacy in ways that they may rarely get to in their own country?
Could they be a mixture of both?
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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mattgrowler · 2 years
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
I choose to share some personal info with you on here - and the emphasis is on choose.
I have told you that I am trans and asexual and bi, and it's easy to look at that and say "Oh, yeah, he has to share this with us as proof that he is allowed to run a blog like this" or "Yeah, he is an author, he has to tell us as proof that he is allowed to write lgbt+ characters". I have told you that I am disabled and autistic, and there again it's easy to conclude that I need to tell you to be allowed to write posts about disability or books with disabled characters.
But that conclusion - that people "owe" us their labels - wrongly assumes that it's safe and comfortable for everyone to share such personal info. Only allowing people who have those privileges to run a blog or write a book would drastically reduce the number of blogs and books.
We don't want that. We don't want to force people to come out or share a list of their diagnoses. That's not the world we fight for.
I am in the lucky position that it's fairly safe and comfortable for me to openly share my labels, and so I can make that decision to volunteer that info if I want to. (And it's not an "All or nothing" decision - I want to share details on my gender and sexuality with you but I choose the rather vague umbrella term disabled instead of naming all my diagnoses. I don't feel comfortable doing that, so I choose not to.)
This letter is a gentle reminder: You don't have to make the same choice as me or any other blogger/writer you may look up to. It's your decision how much you want to share - and even on a pretty anonymous site like tumblr, you have a right to privacy, a right not to share stuff you don't want to share.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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mattgrowler · 2 years
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My dear lgbt+ kids, 
How often do you look at your friends and think “You didn’t do one productive thing today. You’re so useless. You don’t deserve any happiness or love because you’re so useless.”? 
I dare say that you never think that at all. You would consider it cruel and untrue. Obviously your friends are worthy and important even on unproductive days! Of course you’re proud of them when they achieve something but if someone asked you to list your favorite qualities in them, you would probably say something like “kindness” or “they’re so funny” or “I just feel so safe and comfortable around them” rather than listing the stuff they put in their CV. 
You probably don’t think about them in terms of “usefulness” at all. The value they add to your life can’t be measured like that. 
So, why would you look at yourself and say “Ugh, you’re useless”? Why do you need to be useful to be allowed to love yourself - when you can so easily love others without even thinking about their usefulness?
Don’t try to measure your value - it can’t be measured. 
With all my love, 
Your Tumblr Dad 
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mattgrowler · 2 years
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Entire clip is context. Sonic Adventures - LEWD warning
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mattgrowler · 2 years
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"boop" with the SAI
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mattgrowler · 2 years
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Stolen Execution gets anger Quick Scope.
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