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m0uthbr3ather · 1 year
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sick and tired of people assuming that our new lady users are porn bots. maybe they’re too shy to post anything. maybe they just want to promote their job. think about and re-evaluate why you’re so quick to shut down other women
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m0uthbr3ather · 1 year
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I would just like to stay sane until new years day and then I will allow myself the sweet freedom of a downward spiral 
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m0uthbr3ather · 1 year
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rap3 is so weird like someone just committed a crime and inflicted irreparable damage to my mental health and somehow Im the one who’s embarrassed lmao make it make sense
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m0uthbr3ather · 1 year
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when are they going to invent a man that doesnt make me so anxious that I want to peel the skin off my body like a clementine
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m0uthbr3ather · 1 year
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i hope the lady on tiktok who thinks the government/mcdonalds is making the mcribs using human meat listens to Strangers by ethel cain and loses her whole mind 
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m0uthbr3ather · 1 year
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why did i never end up on mst3k tumblr during my youth? because I would’ve wasted years of my life writing absolutely unhinged fanfiction about Mike and Joel doing weird sexual things in various nooks and crannies of the satellite of love
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m0uthbr3ather · 1 year
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I hope you're doing ok
im not sure if i am haha
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m0uthbr3ather · 2 years
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Hey, do you have an onlyfans?
Nah, should I make one
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m0uthbr3ather · 2 years
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When are you making hush puppies again?
Come over and I’ll hush ur puppies
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m0uthbr3ather · 3 years
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m0uthbr3ather · 3 years
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i’m the most provocative and unique bitch in this Aldi ...
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m0uthbr3ather · 3 years
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Gather ‘round kids: I had a coworker mention to me this morning that it’s impossible to get grease stains out of fabric. As a former chemistry minor who worked two years under the table doing housekeeping and who generally tends to be a fucking disaster, I am here to tell everyone that it absolutely is not impossible, in case this is a widespread belief. Here are a few of my favorite cleaning stain removers that I always have at home.
Here are some options:
A Tide™ pen.
I’m a generic kinda lady. I hate promoting brands 99% of the time. BUT if you catch absolutely any kind of stain before it gets ground in, you can get most of it out with one of these babies. I’ve tested it on blood, chocolate, coffee, guacamole, pizza sauce, red wine on, on that one time i accidentally slopped some oil I was supposed to be using on antiques onto a fancy rug (also an antique but not the one I was gunning for). If you’re washing something delicate, pump it onto your finger a couple of times and gently rub it in. I’m not sure what they put in these things but I’m pretty sure it’s an arcane secret.
Dish soap
Granted, this is a little trickier for upholstery/carpet, but it can still be done using a rag, some water, and some patience. But for clothing, just pour some soap on the stain and rub it in under cold running water.
Absolutely any clear alcohol is your new best friend
You know the old “white wine to clean red” trick? Well, this is its updated sister I like to call “you, too, can use coconut rum to get red jello shot out of your nice white dress”. It’s a nice party trick. Straight vodka works even better. For every day situations involving any kind of alcohol-related spills (including markers)–and especially work situations–rubbing alcohol is ideal. To quote another adage, this one from every chemistry teacher you will ever meet, “like dissolves like.”
Hydrogen Peroxide
It can get blood out of absolutely anything, including your mattress. It reacts with the iron in hemoglobin, which breaks down the molecule, causing it to lose its red color. So make sure you’re not using a cast iron skillet to wash your period underwear in.
Vinegar
This will dissolve lime buildup overnight. Fill a bag, tie it around your showerhead, and presto. You can also use it to scrub the area around your sink and to break up any buildup in pipes. (Limeaway™ is for rich people.) 
Baking soda
This is great if you have a pet or child who peed on the carpet. Just cover the area, wait until it dries, and vacuum it up. The longer you leave it, the better it will do at removing the smell. It’s also good removing mild odors from a small space, like a fridge or a laundry hamper. 
Charcoal
This is your heavy duty odor killer. A little goes a long way. In chemistry, activated charcoal is used as a purifier in reactions, and in medicine, it can be used to treat mild poisoning/overdoses. In your car that smells like someone died because you forgot you had potatoes in the trunk for six months? All you need are regular old charcoal briquettes. Stick a couple handfuls in a flat box and the smell will be gone overnight. Guaranteed. For larger areas, just use more charcoal.
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m0uthbr3ather · 3 years
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Me: I’m gonna try to die
Insurance: damn thats crazy too bad we don’t cover any of the treatments to prevent that
Me: so I tried to die and it didnt work
Insurance: ugh well now we gotta fix you AND put u in treatment I guess
Me: Can you cover at least one of those?
Insurance: no♥️
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m0uthbr3ather · 3 years
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making the difficult decision to not love my cats because I can’t afford to own a Clifford sized animal, let alone two. They’ve already gotten so big and we’re only acquaintances
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m0uthbr3ather · 3 years
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m0uthbr3ather · 3 years
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m0uthbr3ather · 3 years
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Your tits look bigger
You know anon, maybe they are, I haven’t checked recently. Hope you and the family are doing alright during these tough times
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