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ly-sona · 1 year

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day flower … park jongseong

SYNOPSIS. bent over the sink, coughing up petals and blood, you knew that your worst fears had come true.

PAIRING. jay x fem!reader

GENRE. fluff, angst, lovers2?, established!relationship (?), hanahaki au

WARNINGS. profanity, mentions of food, mentions of blood, quite a lot of kissing, possibly making out (?), one mention of loss of weight, graphic, mcd(?), death(?)

WORD COUNT. 5.3k

NOTE. i just wanted to write something sad and i came up with this,, idk why i chose jay to fit my mental image of this bc its so saddening to even imagine— EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD PLS DO READ😭‼ thoughts on an alternative ending? update:: I MADE ONE: !! ALTERNATE ENDING. !!

Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated!

i. the bud blooms

At the ripe age of 12 you were sent away with your mother after a preceding divorce bought with complexities and the drop of niceties. This, however, was your chance at a fresh start or whatever your mother bullshited about when you knew you'd nonetheless be a burden to her.

Maybe she was prepping you to put up with her never coming home nor checking up on you as time passed. With no real restrictions you spent your time outside after school and by the field of daffodils you found after a hike up the crest of a low hill.

A google search on the then simplistic site displayed that daffodils symbolise new beginnings, quite accurate given your situation. Much hadn't changed now as only the site was cleaned up to look mod and appealing but the information remained.

On the sole field you met a boy. Dark hair brooding his lowered eyes, and he wore nothing but a tiresome look on his face. He stepped forward and scrunched his nose in annoyance at the sight of you, an intruder to his scarce peace. "ugh, whatever, just stay on that side of the field and don't disturb me," With no one to tell you when to not bother someone, you did exactly that, eventually getting him to gleam a boyish smile at you.

Just like the search engine viewing your answer, that boy, jay, seemed to have an answer for almost everything. Smart and logical, would always rationalise with himself and was punctual with his timings at the gripping age of 13. Not once had he been late when you’d inquire to meet him the very next day, finding him at his usual spot, grimacing at the withered flowers. His punctuality and love for flowers (?) scared you, either he was messed up in the head or he'd been expected to act like an adult for the majority of his life, to live up to his parents expectations.

He wandered to these fields for his lonesome mind to sing to some melody of a song you didn't know, caressing the petals of the varied and wilting flowers. You accompanied him with a sketchbook in hand, your hands at work, your ears to his humming and occasional tunes with no comments or interruptions. You had not a thread attached with his absolute, practical life, and that's what he grew to enjoy as he sang you sweet songs and admired the minimalist beauty of flowers for hours together before he vanished back the trail he hiked up.

A decade long later, he stood the same punctual, intellectual, stellar citizen as his facial features matured and took a dark yet captivating bloom while he sobered from a teen to a young adult. Now the heir of his grandfather's company, he revelled in the success of his grandfather's business. To say he grew would be an understatement, rarely ever flashing you that lovable boyish grin, never to sing his silly little tunes in front of you again.

You weren't one to pry, years into your first ever relationship with your first love and beyond afraid to lose your loose yet stitched in place frail, threaded red heart the two of you share. The photobook stared upon you, urging you to reminisce about your uneventful past filled with mostly jay. The current times didn't get any exciting either, you painted and attended exhibitions, the usual smile carried on your peach tinted lips at the guests and those interested in buying your pieces.

Contrary to this, jay barely made it home, cooped up in his office all day everyday, allowing himself to come home merely upon completing his work. You didn't mind really, the two of you went out, spoke to each other often, and were happy. This while around, he had been distant for a week or two, his longest record of shutting you out till date. You figured he was exhausted mentally and gave him the space though you wished to circle in his arms and breath wistfully.

You veered your attention to the pages and stopped on one of jay, sat beneath the tree near your old, broken, rundown house, looking into the farther distance, admiring the view, and so were you at the time, etching each feature of his delicately put together face, ingraining it in your mind, taking out your then new but now ancient camera to capture the spectacle.

You grin at the photo stuck, your orbs drifting to the messy lyrics he'd written in english to match the mood of the moment, this particular one that of your favourite song till date, one that he used to sing you to sleep.

"what are you looking so fondly at," uttered jay whose presence you failed to recognise in the room, his exasperated expression making you almost coo at him. You patted on the bedding beside as he followed, crossing your painting that you'd left to dry for hours ere.

"our photo book," you replied gaily, surprised to see him speaking to you after weeks, instinctively reaching for his cheek and staring into his eyes to find the very night sky in them, to find them gleaming right at you, the type stars would beam before they went out. A mesmerising yet sad beauty.

His gaze flickered from your soulful eyes and he glued his sights to the photo and hummed in agreement, "i guess i've always looked this good," he finished the tire in his vocals evident with a slight snicker. You shifted closer to him on the bedding which you wrinkled in the process, "you always have," you completed, pulling him closer by the hand that cupped his cheek.

You drawled yourself up to his level, running your thumb back and forth on his soft skin while your other hand ran through his soft hair, watching as he watched you with this solemn look you couldn't put a finger on. You smiled wider and hovered your lips over his as you ultimately gave in to his alluring presence and pressed your soft lips to his in a desperate yet sweet manner.

He hummed from bewilderment and slinged an arm around your waist, inching the distance closer than possible, tilting his head further and into you as he danced with your lips. You pulled away and gasped, blinking as bliss hit you, wondering if it could get any better than this? You drew away and slotted your lips on his again, covering his frantic yet slow lips, kissing him passionately, emptying out your heartfelt sentiments in the shared motion.

You climbed off and undid his tie and the first button of his dress shirt and told him to wash up, getting to your feet, fetching him comfortable clothes and a glass of water to drink. He changed into them after washing up and sat back down on the mattress, back pressed to the headboard, the glass coming in contact with his lips that stained yours not long ago.

He glugged the cool water down his throat and set the now empty glass on the bedside table, your hand ruffling his hair as he yearned for your lips to confirm his doubt, tugging down and setting his lips against yours to feel the emotion again as you relaxed into his warm touch after a long day.

He separated the connection as a string of saliva drew apart and suspended, a sigh of what you thought was content from jay as he flopped to the soft matting underneath him. A pit settled in his stomach and he felt guilt. He chose to ignore the feeling and set his eyes to a close.

You joined him, clinging onto him, kicking on the blanket to yourself and snuggling into his shoulder with a grin. Jay forcefully shut his eyes with a wince he hoped you'd miss it and placed his hand on your waist. Jay pretended to sleep as you hiked up on your elbow, leaning to press a peck to his forehead and mutter, "i love you."

Truth be told, jay sighed out of worry than content.

Jan Look back, reminisce the times

ii. blossom

You gotten used to the sight of jays absence when you awoke from your prolonged slumber, even the days you rose as early as 8, he’d be out the door, bidding you goodbye as he tucked in the loop of tie and tighten it around the collar, patting you on the head before bolting out the door and zooming off in his vehicle.

He’s been distant but never avoiding, and that's what you felt like he was doing this time; avoiding. As painful as it was to accept the fact that he had been avoiding you for the past week was hurtful. Yes, he was out and at work, he hadn’t stepped foot in the house since a week, nor would he receive your calls, excusing himself through text messages shorter than 5 words.

Time you made him show up yourself.

You spent almost the entire day prepping your setting, going as far as decorating and cooking something you saw online which ended up pretty decent. Now, all you needed was to lure jay like a wasp to light. You picked up your cell, dialling his number, your throat feeling rather scruffy as you coughed on the ringing line to soothe the uncomfortable sensation.

“did i work too hard for this, i feel my throat closing up,” you mumble, waiting for the line to connect, the mere automated voice blaring through your ear canal causing you to hang up and opt to text him. “come home, its an emergency,”

Not the best, but surely it’d do the trick, and in an hour's time, jay showed up, panting as he bolted the door open, “where's the fire!” he shouted, standing in the common room, across your resting figure on the couch. You yelped and got to your feet, rushing over and placing both hands over your heart, “here.”

His expression morphed from his initial shock to confusion and to anger. He should've seen it coming as it was February the 14th, Valentine's day. Discarding the tie to his fist, he stared you down with menacing eyes, making you gulp down the present discomfort in your throat, your fearful yet expectant orbs gazing into his raged one.

“i’m really trying to control myself,” “good, we haven’t even started,”

With his tongue poking the side of his cheek from annoyance, you led him to the backyard where a table was set from your preparation and he seemed surprised at the notion, and his mouth slitted open as you hauled the piping hot dish towards the meagre wobbling metal table that withheld the dishes well, allowing you to take a seat opposite of jay.

The look in his eyes was penetrating, feeling your throat close in more as you coughed uncontrollably prompting him to hand you a glass of water, glued to his seat as he observed you heave up and down before the hectic coughing subsided and you felt the air reach your nostril and travel without a hitch to your lungs.

“sorry, i, uh, made us dinner,” you conveyed, forcing a wide smile while overlooking your fit of spontaneous fits of coughing, “i can see that,” he responded sternly, beginning to serve the food onto both plates, his eyes not letting up the cold act for a millisecond, like he almost meant it.

You picked at your food, staring at him eat wordlessly, the irritation in your throat causing you to gag and wince every now and then before you mustered to pierce through the tension filled atmosphere, “did i do something wrong?” The resounding clang of the utensil to the plate made you straighten your back, “no, i’m just upset over the fact you had to lie to get me here,” he paused, drifting off into a daze, “i haven’t come home in a while, i know,”

He shifted away from your constraint, locking eyes with his meal and eating the plate clean, “you’ve gotten better at cooking,” he commented, shutting his eyelids and leaning back on the cold metal of the chair, waiting for you finish your respective meal, making you swallow down the larger chunks in haste. You stood to your feet, the ordeal leaving a metallic taste in your mouth. The chair scraped back, you collected the dishes and placed them in the sink, the unsettling pit in your stomach only digging deeper with the irking sensation in the back of your throat growing ratched.

You went to bed with a heavy heart, his back facing yours as he wordlessly drifted to slumber, leaving you to your consuming thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, he really was exhausted. You shouldn't have been so disapproving of him for his mental absence.

Either way, your plan was an absolute failure.

The sun rose inevitably and jay arose to his right, feet planted on the rugged flooring, remaining sat on the bedding, heaving a loud sigh. He peered over his back to sneak a peek at your asleep state. The way your eyes were clamped shut and your brows furrowed with a strong pout spoke enough of your nightmare and jay exhaled into his palms away from you.

He'd hate to break your heart but he'd hate to lead you on even more. He couldn't bring himself to feel the same anymore, his emotionality drained and his sentiments aside, he felt guilt to have wronged you. He felt like a shitty person every morning to face your innocent stature suffocating him in wallow. So, every morning, he left before you awoke to stop the aching in his wilting heart.

The dip in the mattress rises as he does, stepping disheartedly to the bathroom to start his mundane routine. The shower head shoots water as his hair dampens, his sole salty tears mixing with the overhead resource, tears drowning in silence. You stir awake with your throat suffocatingly sore to the point where swallowing water was excruciatingly painful.

The small clock on the bed side table ticked with faint clicks, the hour handle clocked at 7 with the longer needle on 40 as the splinter-like needle spun periodically. You coughed, finding it hard to breathe, the itching sensation increasing as you felt something will up your throat, your hand bracing your mouth in a clasp.

Mustering out the strange discomfort inducing object, you coughed out a petite, white petal, accompanied with a sized spot of blood painting its own canvas— your palm, per se. Observing the viscous liquid the upside length of your hand, you begin to feel nauseous, ripping the blanket off you and grasping your neck from pain.

You separated the petal from the splash or crimson, clutching it in your free hand as jay made his way over to you, draped in a bathrobe, ushering your tained palm inspect. He grimaced at the sight of blood staining your palm, his thumb instinctively finding your cheek rubbing it of what he attempted to seem affectionate.

Tears pricking your orbs, you urged forward and wrapped your arms around him merely to be held away from his hold with a jerk, making you gape clueless. "it'll stain," he reminded, though he'd pushed you for other reasons he couldn't have the guts to come clean too.

Wiping your eyes dry, you stepped away from him and washed away the substance while jay suited up for work. You left the premise and returned to where jay buttoned his shirt hastily. You strode up to him and finally found yourself in his hesitant hold, peering up to him with glossy eyes.

He sighed into your face, his arms tightening around you as you hiked to his eye level in your tiptoes to press a peck to his lips. You approached forward and pecked his lips, to confirm your growing doubt. You readjusted to kiss him, parting your mouth only for him to pull you back once again with another excuse.

"you haven't brushed your teeth yet," he delivered with a soft tone, running his hand down your bed hair. It stung. Not just your throat, your heart, years ago into your relationship you'd made out plenty of times with a nasty breath and none of you seemed to mind. He really was making… excuses.

The flowers, the blood—him avoiding you, your fleeting touch— most importantly, he began to ignore your feelings for him.

Jay was falling out of love with you.

iii. grow thorns

Desperate. That's what you felt coursing through your veins as you curled into a ball on the carpeted floor in the empty residence, jay long gone on a business trip to wherever. Upon your gruesome piecing together, you felt despair and spent most of your time wallowing in streams of tears.

It was March and you laid sick in bed, occasionally leaving to fulfil your regular duties as a human while completely neglecting physical activity and socialising, not like you were good at either but this case was extreme. The same boy you felt deeply connected to, the boy who made you understand what love felt like, the boy who showed you true love—which your parents always failed to accommodate— was also the boy who'd crumble your fragile beating soul to rubble.

Your first petals you coughed were once pea size petals that gradually turned into full fledged, grown petals, heaving up your trachea, branches growing in your lungs making it all the much harder for you to breathe. In arounv a week's time, was your anniversary with jay. It'd be foolish to think he'd just take you back like that after the answer of unrequited love stood from your lungs.

Perhaps if he broke your heart a second time, you would be convinced and mercilessly succumb to the inevitable.

You kept the petals you threw to a side, setting up a fresh canvas and painting a blank later for white onto it. Unsure of what to paint, you stood contemplating what you were even doing in the first place but the thought of gifting it to him seemed motivating and so you began.

Strokes of wet paint slapped onto the once pearly white canvas, skilledly sketching with your brush the outline of your objects, filling in the remnants of white into the backdrop of the portrait. It wasn't over till it was, eventually over. The faint lines of your boyfriend became clear and so had your mind. You knew what your next change of plan would be.

Jay returned around two weeks later and by then your health had declined and the loneliness merely increased. Hesitant to speak to you, you took the hint and mainted your distance as well, only interacting when needed as he used the spare bedroom to rest. Indeed,.t hurt to think that he found it hard to even sleep next to you but you weren't going to take it till he uttered the words himself.

Then came your anniversary. The two of you had been great friends for four years and then dated for four and you'd like to say that you both were still going strong, though your current situation said all but that. You requested jay to help in making dinner for the while none of you spoke a word of the day's occasion.

You were at work chopping the vegetables as jay readied the base, sprinkling some spices and checking the flavouring every now and then all without saying a word to you. Your eyes travelled from the steaming stew to where he placed the spoon between his lips, a furrow creasing on his face, tongue clicking.

"salt," he mumbled, eyes drifting from around where he situated, then shifting to around you. The salt was placed beside the chopping board, and that meant it was across you, an arm's distance. Without much thought, he stepped closer to you and reached for the salt, his arm brushing past your waist, causing him to tense, his orbs darting to yours.

You solemnly watched his eyes grow from hesitate to panic to worry. Worry, however, caught you off guard? His hand remained on the salt bottle, arm still at your waist. "you've gotten thin," he mustered, peering down at you. Your lips parted and cursed yourself for the water gathering in your tear glands.

You shifted to face him and your fists collided with the material of his shirt, clutching it in your grasp while you looked to your feet to collect your thoughts. Jay watched with no thoughts, bewildered at your shaken state. Just in time, your throat began to cave in.

You showed him your back, heaving up and down, the petals trailing up your throat and hitting your palm. You smacked your chest uncomfortably to stop the tractions to not let him suspect anything was out of order.

"you okay?" he queried, feeling the thumps of his feet getting closer to you, panicking as you collected blood and petals into your hand, the fear of him peeking it at your new high. He reached to your position and you scurried off in a haste towards the washroom. Passing by your jar of petals, you dropped them into the pot in a hurry as jay caught up to you.

Drowning the crimson in the sink you ran water on your hands, cutting the water supply and placing your wetted hands on the cold counter, panting. The heavy footsteps echoed and then soon were planted behind you. You gazed at his fallen front in the mirror. Why? Why did he look disheartened? Did he feel something for you after all?

He panned you around, caging you to the marbled counter, sealing in his arms with your chest by his, solely daring to search for any love in his eyes. Yanking the sleeve of your sweatshirt laid a spot of crimson from the viscous liquid. You mentally winced and set your sights away from him.

His finger glided to your chin and brought you towards his front, his palm resting on your cheek, "you're not okay, are you darling," he conveyed as your heart grumbled at the endeared name, a stray tear threatening to stain your cheek. "i've been unwell,"

The silence dawned on the two of you as he buried his hand in your hair, tugging down on it to tilt your head up, and his finger parting your nimble lips, the salty taste lingering in his mouth as he pressed down, and gave you a kiss. Under any circumstance than this, you'd relish the feeling but you felt sick with your throat itching.

Nonetheless, you played into his act of affection, gripping him further as his neck dipped to reach further in your cavern. Taking in what'd be the last time you'd ever meet his lips with such fever you attempted to feel the texture of his moist lips diving in and out. the pop sound loud and clear as you pulled him off of you. He settled his hand by your ear, his thumb giving you a false sense of security as he rested his forehead against yours.

"shall we get married?"

The falter in his facials was apparent and you felt your heart fall to your stomach. "marriage? what are you talking about, we're only 21," he missed, trying to play it cool.

"you know I love you right?" you did love him, you weren't lying but he didn't and you wouldn't let go of him till he said those harsh words himself.

His lack of reply set you off and you changed your blank face to that of despair, " you don't love me?"

"i…"

You shoved him away, crinkling your eyes in downward crescents as tears peaked from your eyes, playing at his heart strings. You felt the similar aggression of anger pile in him as he rushed his breathing, brows furrowing deep and the same mouth you kissed parted to utter icy words..

"do you know how it feels to date the one you've known and cared for since you were child?! not once have I ever hurt you nor done anything to hurt and i never will but I can’t sleep at night looking at your unaware face that i settled to for work. It’d break my heart to break your’s but i can’t let up with this without feeling guilty for leading you on when i cannot bring myself to feel those sentiments of love— i just don’t love you like before! "

Though you knew it was coming, the actuality hurt so much more. The lines of him declining your love for him played repeatedly. Jay left the room and the house, slamming the front door to possibly never return again. You sobbed even harder than before, falling to the floor urging the feeling to succumb to die as you coughed up amounts of blood and petals onto the floor in shambles.

iv. wither

April came as fast as March left with Jay slamming the door, never to return under any circumstance. You strongly believed he began living at his office unless one friend allowed him to stay over for an extended period of time. You, however, hadn't had any luck with getting better, accepting you would die soon.

Mustering any strength you conjured to get out of bed, meeting the carpeted floor where you'd spend hours staring at the ceiling with teary eyes. You were going to go down like this, despite your dreams and aspirations, this was how'd you succumb to death.

The sole motivation to sit by your canvas, that slowly came to picture, was the haunted expression in his front you could imagine ever so vividly. You meagre around the house to get your jar of thrown up petals, stained scarlet, quite a nice piece of decor to the vicinity though it'd be too bad that you'd be gone to not see it as one.

Frailly reaching for one petal, then another, you stuck them in carefully, the internal shaking refusing to seize as your breath turned shallow, leaving you gasping for air, overexerting yourself in finishing the piece.

On the once pearly white canvas sat a portrait of jay through the lens of your antique camera where you stood a trail of your petals and blood mixed onto the canvas, increasing as they led to your situation behind the camera just like your dying self behind the canvas.

Finishing the painting, you felt the hot breath hit your tired out hands and brittle paint dipped fingers— the same fingers Jay would kiss to you sleep, ticking you into bed if you ran a fever— were also the ones that gripped to the head rest, giving to the growing tiredness that overcame you, turning to lie flat on your back.

The keys jingled in the near distance, jay slipping in through the door, watching as nothing had really moved around in the house. He contemplated on notifying you of his abrupt appearance, opting to slowly creep up the stairs. Unknown to you, you had started coughing again, the strength in your arms to cover your mouth non-existent.

Resulting in the blood coating you and the mattress in a painful fit of red as you sobbed heartbroken to yourself wondering where it went wrong, did he require more space, had you been more mindful would he still be at your side.

Jay stilled on hearing your heart wrenching sobs, the previous hesitance gone as he ran up the stairs and to your situation on the bed stained bed. Having forgotten about your coughing fit of blood through the apparent stress from the separation.

His sight fell to the canvas in front of him greeting as you cough seized, your eyelids lugging over your glassed over orbs, jay getting to knees as he saw you covered in blood, his hand finding your paint ridden hand. You gave a weak chuckle, "if we ever meet again, I hope it works out then," you say, the diamonds leaving the comfort of your eyes and onto your crimson imposed self.

Jay heaved from panic, "why didn't you tell me?!" He hurried exclaimed, his hand running down your arm to keep your burning vessel even warmer. Unbeknownst to him he'd been crying and you watched with low eyes close to shutting, your palm lifting up to his tear stricken cheek, "just know," you paused, shutting your eyes completely feeling the life get sucked out of your body.

"i loved you."

alternate ending. (1.6k)

#angst lover finally made a mega angst jay fic and I'm here for it #jay scenarios #jay fanfiction #park jongseong #park jay #enhypen #angst #enhypen angst #jay angst #hanahaki

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ly-sona · 1 year

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FOR THOSE WHO HAVE GUNWOOK AS THEIR ONE PICK! PLEASE DO VOTE STRATEGICALLY!

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ly-sona · 1 year

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pretending idgaf abt gunwook in the top 9 so it happens

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ly-sona · 1 year

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or maybe i should do headcannons

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ly-sona · 1 year

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i miss writing. who should i write for 👀

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ly-sona · 1 year

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for those of you who think it’s a crime that i as a jungwon ult don’t have a jungwon fic on tumblr I HAD ONE I JUST USED IT FOR A CREATIVE WRITING PROJECT 😭

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ly-sona · 1 year

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i feel like i should post something soon :c i’m posting today on wattpad for jungwons birthday but like i’m feeling a tumblr fic too…

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ly-sona · 1 year

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YOURE RIGHT I AM YOUR 04 BESTIE AND IM WHIPPED HFEHXUFBEHDKFJRJFJFIDKFJFR RRKEJDJFJDHDFJIRIWJDR JUNGWONS SODHEHFHEHDHDUJTBDHCUNFHFH

┏♡ℍ𝕖𝕪 𝕊𝕥𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕕, 𝕀 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕦♡┓

♡ Summary: Why can't idols date in peace? Are they not human? :(

♡ Pairing: Jungwon x fem!reader

♡ Genre: angst and fluff

♡ Word count: 2.2K

♡ Warnings: mentions of cursing, cyber-bullying, *let me know if there's anything else I should add ^^*

"And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't; Hey stupid, I love you"

┏♡┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈♡┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈♡┓

“First 4th generation relationship: ENHYPEN’s leader Jungwon was spotted with an unknown girl late at night.”

That was the first thing that Sunhee woke up to. Even though she was scared of what she would see on any social media platform, her finger immediately exited out of the Google app and pressed onto the Instagram app out of habit.

She could already see the amount of DMs she had received from her friends and the Enhypen members from their secret personal accounts. But she also noticed how many DMs were filling her account from people that she didn’t even know. Of course she knew they were from fans and she already knew what they were going to say

“You’re only dating Jungwon oppa for attention.”

“You gold digger.”

“Break up with him.”

“You’re only using him for his fame.”

“You don’t deserve him.”

“I wonder how your ugly ass got with him.”

Her hands shook as she tried to delete every single dm that was coming in and remove all the unknown accounts from her followers list. She immediately made her account private and threw her phone onto her bed out of frustration.

She could hear her phone ringing like crazy from kakaotalk notifications not only from Jungwon but from the group chat she was in with the rest of the Enhypen members. However she didn’t bother even looking at them.

“YOON SUNHEE!” She flinched as she heard her best friend’s voice boom throughout her apartment, knowing her friend was only worried because she wasn’t answering her phone. She let out a string of curses under her breath as she hesitantly walked out of her room.

“I…I’m right here.” She trailed off, closing her bedroom door behind her.

“Are you ok?” Heeyoon, Sunhee’s best friend, advanced pretty quickly to the panicking girl and pulled her into a tight hug. “How did this happen?” She urgently asked while trying to calm her best friend down.

“I-I don’t even know.” Sunhee managed to let out with her extremely shaky voice. She could feel a wave of anxiety rise inside of her.

“Did Jungwon call you yet?” Her friend cautiously questioned the girl, afraid of pushing her over the edge.

“Yeah…But I haven’t been answering.” Sunhee quietly responded to the girl. She knew Jungwon was also freaking out in his dorm. He was usually very calm in most situations, but she knew that this was the one thing that he had been worrying about for the future.

“Why don’t you call him, hm?”

“I don’t want to.” Sunhee sighed out. “I know it’s probably the right option to call him but…I don’t think I can.” Her voice started wavering as different scenarios started to flash in her head. “What if he breaks up with me, Heeyoon? What if all those comments from the fans convinces him that I’m not good enough for him?”

Heeyoon’s heart broke seeing how much this was destroying her friend’s confidence and her insecurities were finally coming to the surface. Of course, Sunhee wasn’t completely confident while dating Jungwon. His popularity made his girlfriend question her worth and her right in dating the young leader. But Jungwon was always there to comfort her that she was more than enough for him and that he loved her very dearly.

“I’m just going to go back into my room. Can you fill me in on the work I miss in class?” Before Heeyoon could say anything else, Sunhee trudged back into her room and closed the door behind her.

Heeyoon sighed as she dialed a familiar number and waited for the person on the other line to pick up.

“Hey Heeseung oppa. How is he? Is he doing ok?”

-------

“What the fuck do I do?” Jungwon cursed out when Riki showed the new article that came out in the morning. “This is probably breaking her.” He pulled on his red hair, frustrated in the situation.

“Is she still not picking up?” Sunoo asked in a cautious voice, making Jungwon chuck his phone on the couch.

“No she hasn't. I know she saw the article and she’s probably reading through the comments that people are leaving.” Jungwon covered his face and he could feel tears from annoyance building up in his eyes. He slumped down on the couch and propped his elbows on his knees, thinking of how he should fix this.

“I think you should wait until our manager hyung says something.” Jake suggested to the distressed boy.

But the young leader was hearing none of it. He shot up from the couch and advanced to the door. “I have to go see her.”

But he didn’t get far as he was pulled back by the two oldest members. “Oh no. Yang Jungwon, you’re staying right here. Wait until our manager comes or we go to the company.”

“But Sunhee is probably going through so much right now.” Jungwon protested, trying to free himself from the hold of the oldest members. “She's probably overthinking and she’s putting all this pressure on herself.” Jungwon slowly stopped struggling as he dropped to the ground, just like his tears dropped from his eyes. “She’s probably thinking that she’s not enough for me and that she doesn’t deserve me.” His last sentence almost came out as a whisper and his tears started to fall rapidly, making his hyungs look at him in pity. Jungwon was usually a calm and collected person. He was their leader. Even when his members were going through hard times, he stayed his best to stay grounded and calm for the group’s sake. But this matter was driving him close to insanity.

The silent atmosphere was interrupted as someone’s phone rang. Heeseung fished his phone out of his pocket to see his sister’s ID on display.

“Heeyon?”

Jungwon’s ears perked up at the familiar name and his head shot up. “It’s Heeyoon? Is she with Sunhee? Does she know if Sunhee’s ok?” Jungwon continued to bombard the older male with questions, making Heeseung hold his hand up.

“No he’s not. He’s practically a mess.” Heeseung told his sister. “How is she?”

Heeseung kept nodding at his sister’s answer, his face slowly dropping. And of course Jungwon noticed, he was so intently staring at his hyung.

“Why? Is she not ok? Can I go see her?”

But Jungwon’s questions were ignored once again as Heeseung focused back on his phone call. “I have a feeling our manager will come to meet with us. I’ll keep him here until then.”

“Hyung, I think I really need to see her.” Heeseung felt bad ignoring the younger male’s desperate pleas.

“I’m sorry Jungwon but you need to stay here until our company says something about the situation. Whether to the public or to us.”

-------

Sunhee laid in her bed, writing and erasing a text message to Jungwon. She was wondering what to do in this situation and how he was feeling.

Would he not want to date me anymore?

That exact thought was going through her head over and over again. It was starting to get to her head when she kept seeing horrible messages and death threats being sent to her social media accounts. She had gotten a creepy package early that day, which Heeyoon had angrily disregarded from her house. She was confused on how these fans had gotten her address and now she was even more scared of what was to come.

The only thing that was comforting her was listening to a compilation on youtube that had gathered Jungwon’s sweet and unique voice in one video. It was one of the things that Sunhee loved most about Jungwon. He had a unique tone of voice but with a very sweet base, which made her swoon every time she heard it.

“Sunhee-yah~”

Sunhee blinked as she took her eyes off of her phone, focusing on the items behind her phone. “Heeyoon-ah. Please help me. I think I’m hearing things.” She choked up at the thought of Jungwon being here right now.

She knew he had a bunch of things on his schedules. Why? Because that’s all he had complained to her about last night while he was over at her apartment, watching movies and eating snacks with her; before this scandal broke out and ruined everything. Even when he desperately called her, she ignored every single one. She knew that as soon as she heard his voice, she would want to see him and she didn’t want to distract him from his work. From his career.

His career that she probably ruined.

“You’re not hearing things, love.”

Sunhee blinked again, springing up from her bed and whipping her head towards her bedroom door. And there he was.

Her boyfriend. The love of her life. Her everything.

“J-Jungwon?” She stumbled out of her bed, thinking if she was dreaming of him being in front of her. “W-What are you doing here? You said you had a photoshoot today.”

“I finished my part and begged my manager to leave the scene as soon as I did.” Jungwon answered her while he took steps towards his girlfriend and steadied her on her feet.

“I…I missed you, Wonie.” Sunhee’s voice wobbled, breaking Jungwon’s heart.

“Love. I’m so sorry.” Jungwon whispered into her hair after he pulled her into a tight embrace, holding her waist and patting her head with his palm.

“W-why are you sorry?” Sunhee already had tears streaming down her face and landing on Jungwon’s shoulder, wetting his shirt. “You probably hate me for tainting you and the rest of Enhypen’s image and your fans will probably not be happy with you. And you’ll probably want to break up with me, regretting you ever even dated me because I ruined your career an-”

She was cut off by Jungwon’s lips on hers, silencing her rant. She closed her eyes, letting her remaining tears run down her cheeks and felt Jungwon’s tears streaming down his own cheeks, making their gentle kiss taste salty.

Jungown pulled her waist closer, if that was even possible at that point while Sunhee brought her hand that was locked behind Jungwon’s neck to his red locks. Her fingers gently wove through his dark red hair, which she absolutely adored on him. Their lips feverishly moved against each other, making Sunhee forget about what she was even ranting about in the first place.

Her boyfriend finally broke the kiss, wiping the remaining tears from her cheeks and lightly caressed her cheeks. “Love, you would never ruin my career. I will never regret dating you.” Jungwon assured her firmly. “If fans are disappointed, then they were never fans in the first place.”

“But-”

“I’m never going to break up with you, Yoon Sunhee.” Jungwon said to her. “I’m never going to break your heart like that. I’m going to stay with you till the day I stop breathing. I’m never going to let you go.”

Sunhee could feel herself tear up again at the way Jungwon looked at her while saying that. His beautiful eyes held so much love and adoration while looking at his girlfriend.

“I can promise you this. I will never let you go. My sunshine.”

Sunshine.

It was a nickname that Jungwon made for Sunhee quite early in their relationship for the sole purpose that her name contained the word sun in it. But as time went on, Jungwon realized how perfectly fitting the nickname was for her. She was his sunshine. She was the one who would brighten up his day every single day and was the one who made his world brighter.

“Wonie…”

“You’re my sunshine. You’re the one who brightens every aspect of my life. I will never let you go. I need you in my life.” Jungwon told her with the rounded end of the tears gathering at his chin.

At this point, Sunhee was sobbing again, not from sadness but from true happiness. Jungwon lightly smiled at her, wiping her tears with the pad of his thumb.

Sunhee showed him an equally gentle smile. “Ayu stupid…You’re crying too and you’re only wiping away my tears.” She stated, using the sleeves of her sweater to wipe his tears away.

Jungwon lightly chuckled as he tucked her bangs behind her ear and caressed the side of her face. “I guess we’re both stupid here anyway. You’re my stupid sunshine and I will always love you.”

Jungwon leaned to give another kiss that the girl gladly received, giggling through the sweet kiss.

--------

Sunhee let out a deep breath as Jungwon posted the latest post of his selca with the hinting caption. They both had come back to the Enhypen dorm, not totally confirming the rumors but not denying them either.

“How are you feeling so far?” Jungwon placed a peck on the girl’s forehead before asking her.

She snuggled the side of her cheek into Jungwon’s shoulder, clinging onto his arm. “It feels a lot nicer. Well, also now that I got to talk it out with you too.”

Jungwon lovingly placed his head on top of Sunhee’s head and let out a satisfied sigh.

“Hey Jungwon?” He let out a small hum in response. “I love you.”

He chuckled before answering her. “I love you too, sunshine.”

┏♡┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈♡┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈♡┓

Why have both of the birthday posts I've made have angst in it- 💀

NEways- Happy Birthday to Jungwon 🥳!! One of the best leaders out there and the person that my 04 bestie is completely whipped for~💙

#i love jungwon #hi sorry i’m weird #enhypen #enhypen kpop #enhypen scenarios #enhypen ff #enhypen drabbles #enhypen imagines #jungwon angst #jungwon fluff #jungwon imagines #jungwon scenarios #happy birthday jungwon

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ly-sona · 1 year

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happy new year!!

i wanted to get something out in time for the new year but...rip- I just wanted to say thank you for all the new followers!! i really do appreciate it :D

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ly-sona · 1 year

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THATS NOT FAIR WHY THEY MAD AT HER AAAAAAAAA UUUUHHHHHHHGHHHHHHH people are scary.

ADOR U!… nishimura riki ㅤ▷ hype boy ㅤ “listen, he's not that bad,”

SYNOPSIS. a silly dare led niki to attempt to be your silly boy

GENRE. fluff, crack, some angst

PAIRING. danceteamleader!niki x teammember!fem!reader ft. enhypen, newjeans

WARNINGS. unhinged and maybe its cringe since i explained the moves to the placement of their feet, im sorry-😭, jungwon says niki got no rizz, lowercase intended, tba

WORD COUNT. 1.2k

NOTE. idk where the idea came from but yeah nwjns yk. this is my wack attempt at slowburn (not really) and specifically targeted at my bsf😘🤞 the next part might be longer..? idk i havent started yet-

Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated!

prev.:ㅤ.master.ㅤnext:.

now playing:ㅤhype boyㅤ ılllı ㅤㅤ ㅤ newjeans 0:00 ─●──────── -0:00 ㅤ⇆ㅤ◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷ㅤ ↻

ㅤㅤㅤ ☰ queue

You piped down after the unexpected question minutes ago, and worst of it all was the fact you were devoid of a reply. Thoughts swarmed and you stood frozen in front of him and the dispersing crowd, some watching intently with interest while others were least bothered.

Minji dragged you away, saving you the embarrassment. But you hadn’t answered niki, nor did you know what to say. Rejection would be a shame, and maybe a yearning was lit inside of you or were you mistaking it to experience something new? If that were the case, you’d hate to lead him on.

Your amiss of presence noted, haerin called you over, breaking your abrupt daze, asking for clarity on a specific hand movement. You helped her with an explanation, along with hands demonstrating to the best of knowledge.

“wow, you’re good at this,” haerin uttered, copying your hand figures. Your hands fiddled with hers, placing both adjacent like the hands of a clock. Your lack of reply from disbelief rings a few bells and she goes on to reassure, “no, really, i mean it,”

You shake your head, gaze meeting the wooden boards on the floor, “i lack the confidence, though,” “i’m sure you’ll break through it, and thanks for the help.”

You nod with a smile, catching minji slipping on her shoes, tightening the knot on the bunny loop of her sneaker. “minji, ‘you leaving?” “yeah, and you’re coming with me,”

“shocker,” you say sarcastically, tilting your head to the side, striding to her and lending her your palm to get to her soles. You sigh, taking an interest in the way the leaves fell to the ground with the onset of autumn, withering to their overdue dismissal.

“well, share your thoughts,” “is this a routine thing now? almost every other day i’m here complaining over minor inconveniences in my closed life and yet i still approach such complications,” you drawl, absent of glee in your front, the autumn breeze setting in.

“one correction, it's literally every day that you go on and on about ANY minor inconveniences in your life. it’s been like this since a few weeks,”

“i wonder why,” you say cheekily, rolling your eyes.

“do you want to listen or not,” you irk, stomping lightly. Minji laughs at your outburst, coos at your pout and nods. “it’s about earlier today,” you pause, clicking your tongue as minji stares you down with a ‘iknowallaboutthis’ look.

“uh, a minor inconvenience named nishimura riki,” you complete in a huff, with minji adorning a facade of shock while she shook her head both sides, “i had no idea!” You smack her on the shoulder, widening your eyes in disbelief, a comfortable blanket of silence washing you two away for a brief moment.

“ouch, i’m only a minor inconvenience in your life? I could do much better, seriously,”

There he was, the sore thumb between the two teenage girls, towering over. You jolted to minji, crashing into her as a snicker escaped her lips and echoed whilst she got farther, sprinting away from you and niki.

“hope this isn’t too inconvenient for you!” she exclaims, waving from the stairs and vanishing in its depth. You still, craning your head to niki, slanting it to the side a little. “you planning on being a major inconvenience?”

“yeah, and much more,” he replies, winking, followed byp a wide smile that suited him, resembling that smiling duck meme, the cute one.

You tch, stepping forward, waiting for him to trail behind but to no movement from the boy. You whip back to him, facing him from a mere distance, “want an answer or not,” you query unenthusiastically, causing niki to jog up to you grinning from ear to ear.

Turns out, niki, the silly boy you were asked out by was a fun guy. And that made it all the much harder for your decision. So often that it got minji raising brows at you across the mirrored room, shooting daggers with her eyes to you as niki munched on strawberries that weren’t microwaved.

You waved off microwaved strawberries far from him, accustoming him to normal room temperature ones. It was rather weird of him but revealed he was particular with his choices. You excuse yourself and trudge your way to minji, taking a seat beside her while niki keeps at his (non-microwaved) strawberries and phone in hand.

“seems like someones been having fun without me,”

You shake your head at her, “it’s not like that,” you mumble, looking up at minji with an expectant expression.

“really? then what’s your answer; what’s going on in your head,” “listen, he’s not that bad,”

“then do you want to go out with him?”

You pick at your lip, nibbling it down, unsure of what you wanted to do yourself. Minji hums, waiting for your answer, “you don't know, do you,”

Silence overtakes your conversation as you hesitate to answer. “i just wish you’d keep me in your circle of thoughts, let me know what you're thinking, and if I could help. i don’t want to chase after you, yn” she pauses, a palm swiping her face.

“either way, i respect your decision, don’t let anyone else influence your opinion,” minji concludes, sighing of disappointment and resorts to leave in a fit of pent up frustration.

You attempt to halt her to hear you out, but the truth is you have no idea what to say to her. You’ve been keeping to yourself while she was trying to understand you and help you out.

From the end of the room, hype boy plays and niki jumps to his feet, utterly surprised. He fumbles his way to you in a sprint, collapsing to the wood tiles, his phone screen flashing before your eyes.

"look at the number of likes and views, everyone's commenting that they hope we get in,"

You marvel at the count, turning to niki, "aren't the results out?" He redirects to a link, the hyperlink in bold marked RESULTS apparent. Wasting no time, he opened the page and scrolled. And there it was, your name along with niki's.

You copy his surprise upon comprehending the display, a heavy gasp, guilt-ridden, parts from your mouth. “we got in… what about the others?” you quiz, staring at the screen. “yeah, we got in, isn't that a good thing?” niki responds, dropping his hand to his crossed legs, gazing at your conflicted orbs.

“it reads that me and you got in. nothing about the others is mentioned here.”

“niki, i auditioned with minji’s team, not us as a duo.”

You bury your head in your hands, pushing the strands of hair out of your face with a pained front. Minji returns to the door, out of breath, “hyein checked the results, we didn’t make it,” she announces, face darkened and down.

You whip your head side to side, opposing both answers in your thoughts. Niki furrows his brows, his expression fallen. Minji gapes at you and niki both, her steps closing you in, and hands to niki’s phone. “minji,” you drawl, lost.

“congrats.” she mutters, monotonously, tone flat and eyes devoid of any colour. Hanni enters the room, her arm linking around minji’s and drags her away, leaving you in a contemplating mess where you would shove the blame to yourself.

#enhypen #enhypen niki #currently enraged #niki fluff #YOU SAID FLUFFY #enhypen fluff #niki fanfiction #enhypen fanfiction #reblog

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ly-sona · 1 year

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hehehehehe theyre so cute :D she me for real performing in front of a crowd makes me wanna sob-

ADOR U! … nishimura riki ㅤ▷ attention ㅤ"the last thing i want is attention,"

SYNOPSIS. a silly dare led niki to attempt to be your silly boy

GENRE. fluff, crack, some angst

PAIRING. danceteamleader!niki x teammember!fem!reader ft. enhypen, newjeans

WARNINGS. unhinged and maybe its cringe since i explained the moves to the placement of their feet, im sorry-😭, jungwon says niki got no rizz, lowercase intended, tba

WORD COUNT. 1.2k

NOTE. idk where the idea came from but yeah nwjns yk. this is my wack attempt at slowburn (not really) and specifically targeted at my bsf😘🤞 didn't proofread.

Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated! prev.:ㅤ.master.ㅤnext:.

now playing:ㅤattentionㅤ ılllı ㅤㅤ ㅤ newjeans 0:00 ─●──────── -0:00 ㅤ⇆ㅤ◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷ㅤ ↻

ㅤㅤㅤ ☰ queue

"dare." And that, determined niki's fate to be involved in your business.

"ask out the next person through the door," jungwon fired, bursting into a fit of laughter at his friend's pained expression. Regret filled the boy as he looked at the door anxiously, awaiting the next person intently.

“do i have to do it right then and there?” the younger boy drawled, sending his two friends beside them into a fit of yes’s, their eyes not leaving sight of the door of the cafeteria for a second.

A distance away from the doors stood you, fumbling with your sweater. You filmed the previous routine in a more secluded area, not exactly nervous since onlookers were absent. But the next location was the cafeteria, sending chills through your spine.

You walk through the hallways to the cafeteria with anything but confidence. When your friend, minji, said it’d be a small gig alongside academics, you should’ve restrained from her desperate pleas to get you to join their dance club.

This is definitely not what you thought you were signing yourself up for. Dance was something that came naturally to you, the expression of emotions though either soft or rigid beats or none at all, using your body appealed to you, mastering it and turning the art into your forte. Beside your impeccable talent, the massive obstacle was that you were too shy to dance around anyone other than those close.

Your aura changed when it came to the expression, executing the sentiments with each soft yet rigid movement with apt emphasis. A prodigy praised many, but your timid attitude needed to go.

With that minji tiresomely tried to break the hardened shell and to no avail. So her next best solution happened to be this; helping you gain confidence in your skills and meeting the member requirements for her next routine. “i’m a genius!” she had exclaimed enthusiastically, much varied from her current tense stature and furrowed brows.

Danielle, who was also a part of the team had forgotten to learn the choreo with no one else to fill the spot. The others were assigned different songs and no one covered dani’s part, the current situation arose and you were seen to dance alone, by yourself.

"danielle, you were supposed to learn the choreography of hype boy with yn–"

“I thought we were filming attention today and hype boy tomorrow,” the rebuttal ended with confusion and a sigh of frustration from minji.

You were more than expected to carry out the routine alone but the faint of eyes scared the living shit out of you. Shrinking in your shell, you raise your palm to minji aware, “i’ll do it,” you say, with absolutely no grounds of your voice, your words heard as a light whisper.

Minji heard your mumble and her frustration turned into worry, “you don't have to push yourself, we can film tomorrow,” she stated, sympathising with you and your courage. You’d be lying if you said her offer wasn’t tempting.

“the deadlines in a week for the competition, moreover we have to practise the routine for cookie,” You stood contemplating out the doors of the cafeteria, recalling your connotations to minji before you agreed to join the club.

“the last thing i want is attention, minji”

You didn’t want minji’s endeavour to end sourly, and that led you to step up and face your sheepish fears. There came your predicament, and you'd never wanted more than to just crawl in a hole and hide.

Minji gave you a small push to the door with a soft and proud smile. You went through the doorway before the rest, hyein trailing behind and taking the lead ahead of you, adjusting the camera and setting it to the right angle while you merely managed yourself from fainting. The number of eyes surrounding you seemed to multiply tenfold when the music began.

All while the curious trio peered at you from a distance, rowdy and loud, shouts, “it’s her,” from their table. One jet haired boy face planting, dropping his head to the table with a thump. They began chanting his name, while the supposed main character lifted his head, flushed with a shade of red painted over his cheeks and ears.

“they seem busy, can’t i ask her out later,” he winces, creasing his forehead. Sunoo shook his head frivolously, urging niki out of his seat. And off he went sprinting over to the spot, avoiding the camera, observing you warming up.

He smiled at you with a nod, whispering a few words of notice to minji while he responded enthusiastically making it appear to be something of the positive sort since minji fervently nodded with a thumbs up.

The music boomed overhead, the adrenaline coursing through your veins, like a jolt of electricity almost. You played with your hair, fixing it and peering at minji with desperate orbs, solely for her to grin at you, shouting words of encouragement.

You started with the pre chorus, meeting the minimum required length for the short video feature and competition. You sprawled your arms to the front, forming them in a circle and over your head on both sides, skipping to the right twice on your toes.

You began feeling rather stiff from the amount of people judging you. It would've been much better to have someone beside you also doing the routine, sharing the burden of the mass of onlookers.

Minji's smile caught the corner of your eye while you barely fared to look at the camera. You prepared yourself for the chorus that followed and entered the boy with a lunge, dancing to former danielle’s part alongside you. You swiped the invisible dirt off your shoulder and he copied along.

He seemed to know the choreo beforehand, his movements outshining your own. The two garnered more attention from passerbyers. He shuffled to the left and hit all the point moves danielle would've covered had she remembered to learn the dance. At the end of the chorus, the crowd was going feral, yells singing to the song while the others cheered.

The verse continued and niki motioned to the camera with a half held hand heart, waiting for you to complete it. You shy away, minji exclaiming from beside you out of the frame, ushering you to complete it. You shook your head with a laugh, completing his silly heart with silly sentiments.

“and cut!” shouted hyein, a huge smile plastered on her front, the rest cheering for you both. You turn to niki with a grin out of both thankfulness and timidness, “thank you,” he waved the gesture off.

The crowd began to disperse, sunoo and jungwon looking at their friend through the throngs of people with a death glare. Niki’s heart was pounding as you turned away to look at your friends.

“can i ask you a question?” he piped up, his bottom lip disappearing between his teeth out of nerves. The calm atmosphere returned except for niki’s anxiousness. It quieted down, and you hummed with interest, meeting his gaze, “yes,”

“will you go out with me?”

#enhypen #enhypen niki #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen fluff #niki fluff #nishimura riki #reblog #RIKI SO CUTE!!

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ly-sona · 1 year

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when you have to take down your favorite work because of an assignment due at midnight</3

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ly-sona · 1 year

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i think i can get back to writing once I finish these last 5 days of assignments :D

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ly-sona · 1 year

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hi how are you doing today ? i was wondering i could be anon ! idk what name to use but you can use blossom anon if u'd like ! anddd i have a soft hour req ! how about sleeping with jungwon and he wakes up to you shivering in the middle of the night?

hello dear i’m doing amazing hru?! of course you can be my blossom!! i’ll use this emoji for short 🌸! and here is your wonnie soft hour req combined with this req <3 (SOFT HOURS ARE CLOSED!)

2:07AM — jungwon’s tired eyes open slowly, blinking in an attempt to take in his surroundings. his once peaceful slumber was interrupted by the feeling of you shivering like a leaf right against his chest; head tucked into the column of his neck, the shakiness of your breathing feathering his collarbone ever so softly.

his brows furrow in concern, carefully pulling away to try and examine your appearance despite the pitch black of his bedroom. “y/n? are you cold?” he whispers, voice tinted with a rasp due to his sudden awakening.

in response, a soft whimper leaves your lips, making jungwon’s brow raise in confusion. before he can mutter another question, you’re suddenly grabbing onto your boyfriend’s arm in a tight hold as if you’re scared of something.

jungwon jumps at the rough grip you force on his bicep, quickly reaching down to shake you awake. “love, wake up, it’s just a bad dream. c’mon, i’m right here,” he murmurs calmly.

only a moment later, your eyes snap open in a panic as you shoot up from your pillow, “jungwon?!”

jungwon follows you, sitting up and pulling you into a hug immediately. “shh, i’m here. it was just a dream.”

at the sound of his comforting voice and body embracing yours, your breathing quickly calms to a regular pace. silently, you embrace him back, giving his chapped lips a peck along the way. “shit, sorry for waking you,” you mumble against his shirt.

jungwon’s hand reaches down to draw shapes into your back, shaking his head in disagreement. “don’t be silly, it’s fine.“

you mindlessly leave a trail of kisses up his shoulder and past his jaw until you meet his cat eyes through the slight peek of moonlight through his window. despite just waking up, jungwon looks ethereal with his bed head and half closed eyes. even adorning a loose white t-shirt and gym shorts, he shined so brightly from your perspective.

“what time is it,” you inquire after a few more beats of silence. the thought of going back to sleep felt impossible now; the only thing on your mind is cuddling up to the boy in front of you.

jungwon still holds you with one arm as he cranes his neck to see his clock. “2:07, he reads before facing you again, brushing his nose with yours, “wanna listen to music?”

his ridiculous suggestion makes you burst into a giggle, the way he knew you so well never failing to make you grin. “of course.”

at your confirmation, jungwon beams, reluctantly releasing you for a moment to grab his phone and open spotify.

“what song first?”

“that one you keep playing in the car, i like her voice,” you suggest giddily, taking your spot on your pillow. impatiently, you pull your boyfriend down to snuggle up to him, making him chuckle peacefully, right as ‘just for you’ by pinkpanthers starts playing throughout the tranquil bedroom.

the next few hours are spent playing music, chatting, and perhaps a bit of kissing, and you’d have it no other way.

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ly-sona · 1 year

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HE DIED NOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAA

✦˚ *𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℂ𝕣𝕦𝕖𝕝𝕥𝕪 𝕠𝕗 𝔻𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕪* ˚✦

✦ Summary: They always talked forever but they once again learned that destiny can be cruel and destiny isn't all about happy ever after

✦ Pairing: Jay x fem!reader

✦ Genre: angst, teeny tiny bit of fluff

✦ Word count: 2.4K

"Yeah, it's too hard to face it... know that you're gone"

✧•┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈✦˚✧˚✦┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•✧

Heewon numbly stood as she could vaguely see many people run back and forth around her and hear the shouts of urgency. The sirens of different cop cars and ambulances rang in her ear. The blue and red lights almost blinded her as she simply stared at the limp body being moved from the ground to the stretcher.

It almost felt real when she saw his limp hand and bloodied face but she still held onto hope. Or at least tried. But while watching the medics do CPR and try to do everything to save her boyfriend, she realized that it was hopeless. Heewon finally released the tears from her eyes that initially felt stuck from the shock.

One turned to two. Two turned to three. And eventually she had multiple tears coming down from each eye, looking like a downpour instead of a light drizzle.

Her sobs became more prominent when she was in the emergency room and she stared at the body of her lover. The dreaded sound of the long beep and the doctors saying the time of death all sounded muffled in her ears. Her legs gave out as she collapsed near the bed and held his hand for the last time. She could hazily see her tears drip onto his limp hand and the traces of dried blood on his hand made her want to gag.

She pushed herself up to see his face one last time. She was hoping that when she stood up to his face, his eyes would be opened. He would smile and tell her everything was okay. He would sit up afterwards and give her a big hug. But when she stood up, his eyes, that she could see the whole galaxy with, were closed. The lips that would once tell her that he loved her and smile for her would be forever shut. She could no longer hear the beautiful voice of her boyfriend. The voice that would calm her down while she was anxious or when she was sad. And she would no longer be able to feel the warmth he transmitted through his hugs. The comfort of his arms felt like home to Heewon. But her home now had crumbled in the matter of hours.

She brought her hand closer to his now cold cheek, caressing it. She attempted to wipe off the streaks of blood across his face. She could feel her eyes well up with tears once again, seeing his face and she wondered if the wells of her tears would ever dry up.

A chorus of voices filled her ears and she could feel her heart drop as she recognized the voices. She wasn’t ready to face them. It was all her fault. She knew it. And they knew it. Or she thought.

“Heewon?” Even though the voice was gentle, Heewon whipped her head around in fear, facing the six heartbroken boys.

“What happened?” Jungwon took a step forward to comfort his twin, but his heart completely shattered for her when she took one step back, panic and fear flooding her eyes.

“I-I’m sorry.” She choked. “I-it wa-was al-ll my f-f-fault.”

“Heewon-ah.” This time Heeseung took a step forward, standing next to Jungwon with his arms extended out.

“N-no! St-sto-stop!” Heewon managed to get out, a wave of sobs shaking her body uncontrollably. “I kn-know it w-was all m-m-my faul-lt.”

All the six boys looked at the girl in pity. They fully knew Heewon would never do anything to put their best friend in danger. She loved him too much for that. And they fully knew that if something happened that put Heewon in danger, he would most definitely run in to save her. Jay just loved her that much. It pained them physically and emotionally to see their friend, who they saw as a sister, was blaming herself for the death of their best friend when it obviously wasn’t her fault.

“Heewon-ah…it wasn’t your fault.” Jake gently told her.

“B-but it was! If I wa-wasn’t s-s-so stupid a-and saw th-th-the t-truck co-coming, h-he wouldn’t ha-have…” Heewon paused, dreading the next word to come up. She wanted to throw up at the word that was sitting on the tip of her tongue. “…died.”

The last word came out like a mere whisper, even Heewon herself could barely hear it. But she did. Another wave of realization came crashing down on her.

“He's dead…” She whispered out. “He’s gone.” She looked up and met the eyes of her twin. “Won-ah…I’ll never see him again.”

She could feel her legs giving out the second time as reality hit her once more. She felt warmth wrap around her and could smell the faint perfume of Jungwon as he caught her and brought her into a hug.

“He’s gone, Won-ah…” Heewon kept repeating. “He’s gone.”

Jungwon could only nod and pat his twin’s head in comfort, while having tears streaming down from his own eyes. He too was grieving for the loss of his friend but seeing how broken his twin was, he couldn’t help but move his feelings aside for now to make sure she was okay.

“What do I do, Won-ah?” She cried out, gripping the sides of his sweater and drenching his shoulder in tears. “What am I going to do now?”

The remainder of the boys winced at the girl’s pain-stricken cries. Yes, Jay was such an important friend to them. He was the one who always made sure that all of them were dressed warmly enough. He always made sure they didn’t skip out on any of their meals. He made sure that each one of them were heard and listened to all of their problems, validating all of their positive and negative feelings. He showed them so much love and comfort that they would never forget.

But they knew what Heewon and Jay had were different. They were like soulmates. They complimented each in ways that even words couldn’t describe their chemistry. They supported each other through thick and thin and the friend group was sure they would get married someday. It was always a running joke that their friend group dreamed more about a wedding than Heewon and Jay did themselves.

Now those dreams could never become reality. Because the cruel world said that dreams were always meant to stay as dreams.

-------

Heewon found herself trudging down the hallway where her apartment was. Jungwon and the other guys had insisted on staying with her but she reassured them that she would be fine.

The boys knew she wouldn’t be fine. Being in the apartment that she once shared with Jay was going to rip what was left of her heart into shreds but seeing how sternly she shut their idea down, they backed off.

She took out the familiar keys that she and Jay used to get into their apartment. For their second anniversary, Jay had gotten them matching keychains when they first got their place together. It was just a simple keychain with little stars, symbolizing both of their love stars but also for the occasions where Heewon loved to call Jay her “star” based on the meaning of his Korean name. His name meant collecting stars and sometimes when she would hug him tight, she would jokingly say that she was “collecting her stars”, making Jay smile widely as his girlfriend’s adorable antics.

All of their keys and the keychain was connected by a light blue chain, dangling from their neck like a lanyard. Jay knew Heewon lost everything and anything in her possession, resulting in the genius gift. At least four times a day, he could hear a soft voice echoing in the apartment saying,“where’s my phone? or “where’s my wallet?” And every time it would make Jay chuckle at her clumsiness.

She lightly smiled at the sight of the keys dangling in her hands as she opened the door, only to be greeted by a dark apartment. It was rare she ever walked into a completely empty and dark apartment.

She was usually at the restaurant she worked at part time. She had a shift almost every night of the week and every time she got home, Jay was at the apartment, either alone or with the guys over. He always had something prepared for her to eat, knowing she barely ate during her shift. He would always greet her with a hug and a kiss when she announced her arrival with, “Jjonggg I’m home!”

“Where’s the oppa huh, you baby?” He would always ask with a teasing voice.

“I always call you oppa, just not with that nickname. You know that.” She teased right back.

But tonight was different. Stepping into the pitch black apartment, she flicked on the lights that were right above the kitchen island, a soft warm light emitting through the kitchen.

“J-Jjong….?” Her voice trembled across the apartment, desperate to just feel the warmth of Jay’s hugs. She already missed the feeling of being at home when she was in his arms. “Oppa, I’m home.”

She went into their shared bedroom, silently praying that he would be waiting in the bed and he would smile when he saw her, patting the spot next to him. She felt her heart begging the heavens, even though she knew it wouldn’t come true.

“Oppa I’m home…” She trailed off, feeling her eyes welling up again. She crawled into her bed and wrapped herself in the comfy sheets but nothing could compare being in Jay’s embrace. “Oppa I said I’m home…where are you…”

She sobbed into the blanket. She heard her phone ring which she numbly picked up and answered in a dull voice.

“Hello?”

“Did you get in your apartment safely?” She could hear the worry in Jungwon’s voice.

“Yeah…” She answered him.

Jungwon sighed on the other line, knowing it was going to take his twin a long time to come to terms with Jay’s sudden passing.

“The guys and I are coming over and before you say anything, we're coming and that’s final.”

And before Heewon could say anything, she heard Jungwon hang up. She sighed and layed back down on the bed, staring emptily at the ceiling.

-------

Heewon’s eyes fluttered open to see her head on Jungwon’s lap while he was sleeping, sitting down and his back against the headboard. She felt a tiny tug on her hand when she tried to sit up fully. She looked down to see Riki’s hand over hers as he was lying on the bed too, still in dreamland. All of the other guys were sprawled all over the floor with their own respective mattresses and blankets. Heewon’s memory came flooding back where Jungwon and Riki had comforted her by going on the bed, patting her hand and head back to sleep.

She was grateful to have them near her, to comfort her. She knew that they would be mourning for the loss of their best friend too but she was thankful that they were there to look out for her loss as well.

She gently separated her hand from Riki’s and left the bed. She knew the boys wouldn’t wake up that easily, especially with the night they had previously.

When she walked out of the room, she noticed that it still felt dark since the curtains weren’t opened. She didn’t bother opening them and turned the lights on as she went straight towards the coffee she always drank. Since the boys were sleeping, she opted for instant coffee made with hot water instead of the normal coffee machine.

When the coffee was done, she added a little extra sugar to make her coffee sweeter since she wasn’t a big fan of the super bitter taste.

“What did I tell you about drinking coffee first thing in the morning?”

Heewon almost dropped her cup, surprised at the familiar voice. She slowly turned around; her eyes and mouth both opening wide at who was in front of her.

It was Jay.

He was wearing the white sweater and pants he wore that night, however, it was no longer covered in blood but clean like she first saw him. He had small beams of light emitting from him with a soft smile on his face. That smile that Heewon always loved.

“H-how….” Heewon could feel herself getting choked up as she raised her hand over her mouth. She slowly stepped closer and closer to Jay.

She savored the feeling of her being in Jay’s arms once again. Her petite figure fit perfectly in his toned arms. She felt safe and secure in his embrace.

“How are you here….?” Heewon managed to let out, still in the state of shock.

“Just saying last goodbyes, baby.” He said before giving her a small peck on her forehead.

Heewon looked guilty when she looked into Jay’s eyes. “I’m sorry, oppa….”

“What are you sorry for? I made the decision to save you. It was all on me.” Jay reassured her by bringing his hands to her cheeks and lightly caressing them. “There’s no one to blame in this situation other than that drunk driver who was breaking the law. I really don’t want you blaming yourself for this, loves.”

Heewon sniffled, feeling another round of tears coming. “I’ll miss you a lot…”

“I’ll miss you too, baby.” Jay responded back.

“What am I going to do without you?” She cried, burying her face into his chest.

“You’re going to do great no matter what, loves.” Jay told her while pulling her face out of his chest. “You’re going to do so amazing and in heaven, you’ll tell me all about it.”

“In heaven?”

Jay nodded, giving her another big smile. “I look forward to seeing you again, loves. I love you.”

Before she could respond, he pulled her into a sweet kiss.

It would be their last kiss on earth.

Heewon wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to get him as close to her as she could. She instinctively closed her eyes, trying to savor every moment.

But when she opened her eyes back, she could no longer see the love of her life in front of her.

Maybe this life wasn’t the time for them. She prayed and prayed that in the next life she would meet him all over again. Go through the ups and downs with him all over again. And fall in love with him all over again.

She placed her hands over her heart and with tears streaming down her face, she gave a response to him.

“I love you too.”

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